~~~ 5SOS - Ghost of you ~~~

~

What have I done? I pulled motionless Chelsea in my embrace up. I walked to her bed, putting her down carefully.

Then I started to panic. Why would I do something like that? Did the hope rid me of the last bits of the sanity? If I forget the part how daring my behaviour was towards her, I was completely out of mind. I was not thinking the moment she raised those blue eyes of hers up, she made me not think at all, especially when her eyes slid down my face, on my lips. The thought had crossed my mind. But it was not my right, it was not fair on her. She does all she can to help my absurd existence. What I did was shameful. She was probably in such a shock over my daring move, that she didn't even protest.

I thought about the possibility that she might change her mind now, when she found out he is an idiot. I must not ever do anything unspeakable like this. I stopped stomping around her room, my eyes landing on her unmoving body. She lost her unconsciousness thanks to the shock I gave her. It was bound to happen, she was spending way too much time in my presence. I was vessel containing energy that could not be explained. I drained her and I was in fault again.

I remembered how greatly she handled everything today. She was astonishing, although sometimes is hard for me to follow her changes of moods. She got upset because of something today and she might have though I didn't notice it. But she suddenly stopped smiling and weird serious look overtook her facial expression, although she always manage to put up calm mask, before meeting my eyes.

She was... different. Definitely unlike all the young ladies I used to be acquainted with. I walked back to the side of her bed, gazing at her. I saw similarities between her and Elizabeth, although they both had very diverse characters. Plus, there was something more disturbing about her actual aura. When I looked at Eliza, I saw her as the younger sister of my beloved. When I look at Chelsea, I feel something that I can't explain. I recalled the kiss we shared, my heart picking up on speed. No matter how bad I was, she tasted sweet, like sweet liquorice. The reason I was so taken back by that sensations, was because I haven't tasted anything at all for so many years. Kissing her was like waking up from dull dream.

I looked at her face again. Her golden hair was thrown around her head, which looked like halo. She was indeed an angel. I was itching to lean over and touch them, but I restrained myself. Reminder of what I did was still there.

I couldn't imagine how I will explain it to her tomorrow. I was thinking to go to hiding for a while, but I realised there is no use. We had a mission; big thing will be happening. I must focus on the goal. I can't get distracted. I shook my head and then disappeared.

~

I welcomed the morning with pained moan as I sat up. My body felt incredibly weak, almost alien, while my temples decided to thump in every damned beat of my heart. I was scared to move a muscle, not wanting to make myself suffer more.

The moment of realisation came right after. I widened my eyes, straitening my back, while the bedroom span around. I recalled the events of last night, after Liz left the house. My head was about to explode and shatter to the smallest bits. I threw myself back into the softness of my bedding, groaning as I remembered every second of what made me feel like a zombie today.

I couldn't even tell myself, that it was a dream, because I was not the one to be lying to myself, just for the sake of my inner peace. And I also could imagine that kiss very vividly. I was fantasying about him kissing me, many times... judge me. Then he did it and it was more than I could ever come up with my own poor brain. The wave of excitement rolled over me. I didn't understand why he did that. One thing was, that he kissed ne, another was the reason behind his actions. It would be different if it was me who initiated it, but...

Then I realised it was for the second time I fainted since I know him. I looked at the clock on the wall, counting how many hours I was out. I slept over twelve hours, but I still felt like I could use some more. Of course, I was bright enough to know, that the cause of my weariness was the fact, whenever I touch him, there is something unexplainable happening between us. I don't even have to touch him, and I feel his presence, almost like his personal aura was somehow connected to mine, taking all the energy I have for him to become visible. This was the only way I could explain it all.

I recalled  moment, after he placed me on my bed and I regained my consciousness for a few seconds, finding him helplessly stomping around my room. He looked like he was battling himself. He glanced at my body every now and then, it was clear he was thinking about what has just happened. He regretted it. I didn't know how to behave around him now.

I stared at the ceiling a little more. I got up with the decision about what I need to do. Nothing. I will pretend like nothing happened. If he brings the matter up, I will lie and tell him I don't remember anything. This is the only thing I could do for both of our sakes.

I quickly got dressed and started to look for pill of aspirin to heal my aching head.

"Chlesea! Are you feeling alright? You look terrible," Ellen exclaimed the second she saw my fabulous appearance, after I managed to crawl all the way to the kitchen. Did I really look that bad? Probably, I didn't have the gut to look at myself in the mirror, but then I caught a reflection of my face in the glass window of the cupboard with mugs and plates.

I did  look like someone who spent their whole night partying. Not that I ever experienced that in my life yet. I shook my head, not looking at myself anymore, there is nothing I can do about it today. I assured my aunt with an excuse that I'm quite well, despite the lack of sleep I got.

I sat on the way to school, wearing huge sunglasses, to help hide those dark shadows under my eyes. After long half an hour I managed to get to school and I was not sure how. I crept inside of my class like a wraith that not even my teacher noticed me coming in. Liz and Chris were ogling at me, when I collapsed on my usual spot. They didn't say a word until the end of first period arrived, when they both cornered me to get answers.

"Holy moly, look at you... you are pale as a wall," Liz placed her palms on my cheeks, squeezing them to see me properly.

"Quietly. Have a mercy," I whispered in response to her loud lamenting. I moaned quietly while rubbing my temples with forefingers to sooth the pain in them.

"Your head hurts?" Chris whispered the obvious, he realised how pointless his question was, when me and Liz glanced at him, giving him dry look. I looked back at Liz, she already managed to come to conclusion about my today's dreadful appearance. She widened her eyes and I only nodded my head. She already knew she will have to interrogate me later.

I was able to survive the day. It all passed by in haze. Liz didn't get her chance to ask me about it, because I made sure to go straight to home after school and let the two hang out themselves. Ellen was at work and my plan for the rest of the daw was throw my body on my bed and die. The thing was, as soon as I crossed over the threshold of the house, my personal Ghost appeared out of thin air, making me jump. I shrieked on the whole house.

"Don't scream, it's just me," he was trying to calm me down and I shut my mouth straight away. I looked at him, feeling my heart jerk in my body over the sight of him. It was for the first time I saw him since yesterday's events.

"More reason to scream, don't you think?" I retorted dryly, leaving him in the hallway and went to kitchen, instead of my room as I was planning. I was hungry and I desperately needed build up my sugar level. I didn't take of my glasses and began to search for something packed with carbs.

"You are weak, right?" he surprised me by his sudden question, making me turn around to face him. He was already right in front of me, I almost stumbled backwards, seeing him this close. I didn't have time to look for the words to tell him about how shitty I feel because of him. He lifted his hand to the level of my face, taking of my shades. As long the plastic of them stopped touching my face, they fell on the floor. I wanted to scold him, that it's not the way to treat expensive accessories, when the look in his face stopped my train of thoughts. He was making me motionless with the way he was boring his eyes into mine. I felt familiar buzzing in my arms, when he took my hands in his. The thought he might want to kiss me again, crossed my mind and my thirsty mind was all for it, when it happened. And by it, I mean the energy being poured inside of my tired limbs, through our joined hands. The sweet warmness was being spread all over my body. It was marvellous. I didn't manage to keep blissful sigh in my throat and then he suddenly let go of me and stepped away. I dreamily looked at my hands and then his and lastly into his face. I felt like new born, the way I feel after long and hot shower, which relaxes me to the point I'm almost unbelievably happy. My mouth fell agape as I gawked at him. What else does he hide in his sleeves. Is he ever going to stop amaze me.

"What... how?" I stuttered as he smiled at me.

"I gave you back the energy you recklessly poured into me yesterday," he explained like it all made sense. I didn't understand a thing he said, raising my eyebrows to let him know about my confusion.

"You know I am not your normal ghost...,"

"I did have a chance to notice that," I interrupted him with my sarcastic remark and shut my mouth waiting for him to continue.

"Since I don't have my own body anymore, the only thing keeping me in this form is energy vessel and that's why you fainted yesterday. You just gave me all your vigour," he explained more in detail. He didn't look me in the eye, when he spoke and it was odd sight. He was always full of natural confidence and seeing this timid side of him was shocking. I needed to stick to my original plan, even now that I knew why I felt those electrifying tingling as he kissed me last night.

"That's why I felt lifeless even after sleeping all those hours?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded. He didn't want to speak about this at all and I was going to play according to this game.

"Any more interesting skill you possess I should know of?" I wandered, I realised how my question could have been interpreted and the moment he met my eyes, I knew we both were thinking about the same exact thing, "Just so I am not surprised next time," I added up all flustered.

"I can't think of any other," he replied, seating himself on the chair by the bar counter.

"I'm glad," Although I was overflowing with energy right now, I bit on my energy bar with appetite, while he was watching me. I was about to offer him a bite, but I stopped, knowing how stupid I am.

"I wonder, why did I faint, I didn't faint the whole time, since our first meeting," I wanted to let him know, that I do not recall anything about last night and take the burden from his back. I knew he will grab this opportunity, which I served him right under his nose. I supressed disappointed sigh.

"It was bound to happen, after so much time you spend in my presence, plus all the materialising. Nothing to worry about," he said fast and then stayed silent, while I was chewing on my snack.

"I think, I should give you the directions," when he found out I am not going to go back to yesterdays events, he decided to finally move on to the important. I nodded my head, trying to look brave when thinking about going to the graveyard. He changed into a complete tour guide, using his arms and hands, furrowing his forehead, whenever he was trying to remember something important that could help me find my destination easier. Although I was not happy about my journey, I was fascinated, while watching him as talked.

"... the tomb is situated in this simple stone house. It should not be in the greatest state. You must be careful, so you don't fall or nothing happen to fall on you," his expression was full of worry now and it fell so damn good.

"It should be easy to find the tomb house," I nodded my head, the chill running down my spine, I don't know I was so scared. I just didn't like the idea of disturbing the dead from their peace. Nothing can really happen to me there, unless except ghosts, there is also zombies and werewolves running around in the world.

"Certainly, once you get to the cemetery, it should be fairly easy to see the house from the entrance. I only hope the tomb was not moved away or destroyed," it was obvious, if that was the case, it will be hard to digest. Not only the fact, that looking for the diary will be much harder, but that his family tomb was abolished. I was hoping with him that I will not come back from the cemetery with bad news.

"I will have to open the coffin of your father," she had to ask.

"Unfortunately, he took it with him," he looked like that if he could he would change that fact for me and that made me feel tiny bit better.

"Alright and once we have the diary, we still can't be sure if the spell or whatever is there and if it is, it might not even work," I stated slowly.

"That is true, but we shall find that out soon," he grinned t me with his typical crooked smile. I was drowning in his eyes for a second, but ringing of my phone, saved me from ending up very badly. I glanced at the ID of the caller, knowing in advance it was Liz, who most probably managed to escape Chris's clutches.

"Sorry, It's Liz," I excused myself, noticing curious look in his eyes, before he puffed into the air like a gentleman he was.

"Hey Liz. What is it you need?"

"Chels, how come you looked like a monster today? What happened? You didn't tell me everything yesterday, right? Go ahead, I'm all ears!" she overwhelmed me with her insight on things.

"Wait a second, I will just go out of the house," I told her quick. I didn't think Damon would eavesdropped my conversation with Liz, but better be safe, then sorry later.

"Why?" she wanted to know, while I walked to the door leading to backyard.

"I don't want him to hear me," I explained simply.

"Okay... but why?" she insisted.

"Listen, I don't know when or how it happened exactly, but... well I kind of developed certain feelings for him. Its not that impossible, taking in account the fact I spent most of my time in his presence, although I wanted to kill him once more, just because how annoying he was in the beginning. But I soon found out how smart and charming, funny he is...," I paused, realising how serious screwed up I sound. I collapsed on the steps of the house, letting out desperate groan.

"Slow down. Are you telling me here... oh dear lord. You and Damon? Girl, you sure know how to choose, I will give you that. He is caput for over a century," she summed up my little problem. I sighed.

"I know, I know, that is why he can't know. I don't know how this could happen to me and right now, out of all times. And with him! Damnit," I cussed. I lifted my head up to make sure, I'm alone.

"You are right, I don't understand how you could fall in love with him. I see him as a ghost, someone who died long time ago. I noticed how he looks, don't get me wrong. I realise he is one piece of beautiful man. He is special kind of a man. He has everything you want your boyfriend to have. To be honest, if all the men in the past looked like him then... well all the girls were in big trouble. But you say you are not only charmed away by his façade but also by what he has inside, then I feel sorry for you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I can see why you feel like this is not very good for you," Liz ended her little speech, leaving me in awe. I already felt much better, by the fact she kind of understood me. I needed someone to tell me exactly what she did.

How could I stay untouched by him, after spending so much time with him. When I came home from school, he was here, when I woke up he was here. He was around all the time. If I don't count the time, we didn't speak for two week straight. I got used to him so fast, it was scary. I take it as matter of course having him by my side all the time. Almost like he became part of my life. It was so bad.

"It's not good. I need to get out of this crush, before it becomes something bigger. But until that time, the fact I have to pretend I am fine with helping him find a date, will be killing me. I can't do it so if you can take a part in that part of a deal, I will be very grateful," I begged.

"Of course. It's such a weird situation, but then what if he has some kind of feelings for you too? Call me paranoid, but he was looking at you with admiration yesterday and Chels, you are a charming girl too," Liz was trying to lift my spirits. But the fact he was staring at me with mere admiration, sounded more like he was a dog looking at his master. I shook my head, making the image go away. I tried to think of the possibility that he might like me too, but it was still absurd in my head, even though he kissed me yesterday. He didn't mean to do that and he regretted it instantly. There was no romantic feelings into it.

"I don't think so. I mean he kissed me yesterday, but he was feeling guilt about it immediately and I fainted right after. So I decided to pretend I don't know anything," I shrugged my shoulders, when telling Liz about yesterday's events, when I heard muffled shriek.

"WHAT? He kissed you? And you are telling me that now? It means something. Also, how is it to be kissed by dead man?"  Liz blurted out in excitement. The image of his lips touching mine, came rushing back to me, I had to press my eyelids shut to keep it together. It was perfect, no matter the dead man part.  I decided to tell her all about it, about the electrifying bolt he gave me and that made me lose my ability to function in normal way, until the part where he gave me all my precious energy back.

"Wow, I would not like to be in your place, one bit. But you two are really the most curious couple. You are sparking up my interest more and more. I feel like in one of those ridiculous but addictive racy novels," Liz killed it with her conclusion and had me laughing my butt off. I knew that even though the kiss was not meant to be, I won't be able to erase it from my mind and I don't want to. I will keep as memento.

"An what about you? Chris was not trying to dig up something?" I changed the topic, not wanting to focus only on my own issues. I'm not the only one having trouble with love. Although mine and her matter was different. I was about to find out one sided love is hell.

"He was, I didn't see him this curious ever. But he didn't get anything out of me. I set his mind at ease by saying those boys we went on date with, were nuts. He liked to hear that. Oh, I forgot to ask you yesterday, what will you do with your Lord after he comes back as a man again?" Liz quickly hopped back on the matter with ghost, but her question was important. Out of blue I remembered him praising me for my bright mind.

"He is going to be my friend from Alpena, who came to visit me. I will take him to school as well, that should be alright?" I shared my plan with her and she seemed to be excited about it. After that we talked some more and ended our call, when I heard Ellen just arrived. Damon didn't appear, when I went inside of the house and met aunt in the corridor.

"Hello," she greeted me, sending me looks with her worrying eyes, "You look much better than in the morning," she sounded relieved when she smiled at me. We both walked into the kitchen. I was glad she saw the difference from the morning and now. She should, after all one ghost did all the magic.

"I do feel much better, I just slept poorly," I mumbled back and helped aunt unpack her shopping. I remembered I have something to talk to her about. And that was a pretend visit of my friend Damon.

"Eh, Ellen?"

"Yes, dear?" she encouraged me with small smile

"You know, my friend from Alpena emailed me, asking if he could come and visit me. And I wanted to ask, if he could stay here for a while?

"Of course! There is no problem, there is more than enough of empty rooms. When about is he about to come?"

"On Sunday, most probably,"

"I won't be here though, you will have to take care of his settling down," she reminded me. That was the plan.

"No funny business, though," she quickly let out, grinning at me, I nodded my head and finished helping her with the unpacking. I went back inside of my room. I took my half read book from Jane Austen, ready to get engrossed with the storyline again. I was fascinated by the world the author created and by Mr. Darcy. His character and persona, was everything I loved. I very much enjoyed all the movie and series, but as I always say, that can never be compared to what you can experience with a book. I enjoyed all the books from Jane, although Pride and Prejudice will always have a special place in my heart.

Just when I was in the part when Darcy proclaimed his feeling for Elizabet, I sensed someone's eyes on me. I lifted my eyes from the pages and looked directly at the translucent god, lazily leaning on the doorsill of her room. His arms were folded on his wide chest, while he watched me with interest in his eyes. My eyebrows shot up as I wated for him to say something.

"All solved," he asked.

"Yes. Lizzie will come tomorrow and we will go to the tomb. And Sunday is the day D, we have to be done before Ellen comes back. Also you have a permission to stay over, I talked to Ellen about what we discussed," I told him everything and he only nodded. When it looked like he won't say more, I bowed my head back down to continue reading. But I couldn't focus. The words in front of my eyes were becoming blurry, I bit my tongue, giving up on reading I gave him a glare.

"Why are you just standing there. You have something to tell me?" I prompted him. He unfolded his arms, slipped them in the pockets, while walking towards me.

"I don't know what to do," he confessed awkwardly.

"I guess that's the life of a ghost. Boredom," I replied, allowing myself to study his face, like always. I didn't have a clue, where he was aiming to with his statements. I felt the familiar poke inside my chest, where the heart was located. It hurt, knowing he can't be mine. I pitied myself. I wished to turn around, take his face into my hands, wait a second to see his blood like lips come back to life, before kissing him with all I got. My lips tingled under the urge. Thankfully I was not bold enough to do such a thing, avoiding the possibility to make myself into a fool.

"Indeed. Since you arrived, I had more entertainment than I could wish for. I don't know what to do now, when I'm not with you," he let out in full on honesty and I suffered from short lived heart attack. I realised very fast, he didn't mean it the way I thought he did. If I wouldn't be sure about the evident lack of interest from his part, I would suspect him of provoking me.

"Yeah, right. There is not a full day, if you can't scare the hell out of an innocent girl," I rewarded him with my super dry look, watching him, as his eyes sparked up.

"I do hope you know, it was not my intention to scare you whatsoever. I only wanted to make a human connection. I somewhat knew, you are very important to me, that I will need you," he beamed at me with crooked grin. My brain was having a full eclipse, as I listened to his sweettalking. I was more than focused, watching his mouth move, as he spoke to me. I was falling deeper and deeper into the love pit.

"So you had your plans ready, from the very start," he nodded his head in agreement to what I said. I was more than sure, he would be blushing if he wasn't translucent.

"Look at you!" I exclaimed pretending to be shocked. He knew how I can help him, the moment he saw me, maybe the moment he knew I'm coming to live with Ellen.

"I knew about the existence of the book ever since. When you came to me, I knew I have to persuade you. But I didn't know I will have to deal with all that is happening between us two. That's why I told you later," he explained quickly.

"I have to say, you know how to make things work. Should I feel used?" I teased him, as he narrowed his eyes, inspecting me.

"Don't think the worse of me, Chelsea. I'm being straight forward with you, when I tell you, I don't want to be imprisoned between this and the other world. I'm not going to waste this chance, but I still didn't mean to pressure you," he was gazing into my eyes with heavy urgency. I trusted every single word. I felt pressured, but for all the wrong reasons, which he could not do anything with.  I admired his honesty. I wish I could be at least little like him.

"I know, and it was me who decided to help you," I asked myself a question, what am I to him then? There was no way I could have the guts to ask him the question out loud.

"I will be indebted to you until the end of my existence," he said with all seriousness, almost like he was tying himself down with a promise. He wasn't smiling, letting me know about his gratefulness.

"Don't overexaggerate. I haven't done anything yet," I blinked at him shakily.

"I mean it,"

"I know, you do. But the moment you will find the right girl, you will forget about this Chelsea. Trust me," I tried hard to sound nonchalant, but I was failing hard. I was getting emotional again. I dint understand why I was this way, these days. I'd only cry, I was not like this before. Even when my parents and then grannie passed away, I didn't cry this much. I bowed my head down, to hide tears, threatening to spill over. But he was suddenly way too attentive, sensing the change in the mood.

"I won't forget you. You are my friend. I want you to know, that you mean a lot to me, more than you will ever know. I'm certain you don't trust me on that level yet, for you to believe my words. But that will change," I gawked at him in silence, after he finished talking. I met his eyes, my hand instinctively lifting up to.... What was I about to do? I didn't know, because he puffed into the thin air at the same second.

"Damon...," I whispered into the empty space in front of her. He was gone. Damn it. I didn't know what to think anymore. He was too mysterious, too unpredictable, with everything he does. I could swear sometimes he looks at me...

I shook my head. I should not see too much into this. It will be me, who will suffer at the end. Just forget about it, Chels. I decided to spend rest of the day reading, taking my mind of Damon matter.

I only climbed downstairs to say byes with Ellen and wish her nice traveling. She gave me orders and instructions about planned arrival of my friend, leaving the refrigerator stuffed with food, even giving me some money in case of emergency.

When she left, I went back up, to regain my strength, which I will need for tomorrow. I tried not to think about the events of tomorrow. I only hoped it will go even smoother than, when I revealed Damon to Liz.

~~~

Back with another chapter, extra long and eventful!!! Just like everyone likes... I hope😅😁

The next chapter shall be very interesting and I will try to translate is faster than this time 😁

I suck with my scheduling, I'm aware😳😁

Anyways if your have any questions or suggestions, I'm happy to hear them all!!

But until next time!

Love y