Chapter 7
It's the following Saturday and I can't be more nervous as Zayn picks up his car keys. I can't believe I'm doing this. "Ready for your afternoon of memories," Zayn asks. I give a small nod as I follow him to his car.
"So, where first," I ask. I don't know how to feel. On one hand, I'm excited to learn more about senior year, but I'm also terrified, what if I hear something I don't want to hear?
"School," Zayn answers. The word reminds me of the fight I had with Harry earlier last week, but I push it from my thoughts. This is supposed to be a fun afternoon, or at least an educational one. A few minutes later we drive up on the school.
Zayn parks the car and we climb out together. I follow him as he leads me to the soccer stands. He pulls out a set of keys and unlocks the gate, opening them wide enough to allow both of us in. Zayn leads me to towards the stands and gestures for me to sit somewhere.
"This is where everything began. It was November and you kept obsessing over--we'll just call him S, I don't like saying his name anyway--S," Zayn explains. "You and I were sitting over here and S and his friends were sitting a few rows behind us. One of S' friends came over to us and handed you a little duck made out of paper. The guy told you to unfold it and you did. On the inside was...
"Date me," I read. The guy points at his friend, I turn hoping to see the person and confirm that Stan had been the one to ask me out, but instead I see a blurry face. I try to focus on it more, but my brain wouldn't allow me to make out the person.
"Tell him it's a yes," I hear myself say. The guy smiles and dashes back to his friend to give him the big news.
~_~_~
The next place Zayn took me to is the park. It's familiar. I remember coming here with Stan when we dated sophomore year, so I'm not surprised that we had come as seniors as well.
"What's the deep story behind the park," I ask. I stick my hands in my pockets as Zayn leads me down a sidewalk. The park's pretty busy today (it is the weekend after all). There are a few people running and a couple kids at the play ground and I also notice an elderly couple sitting on a bench near the pond feeding the ducks.
"This is where you guys kissed for the first time," Zayn starts. I turn to look at him, a little confused.
"How do you know that we had our first kiss here? Were you spying on us or something?" Zayn rolls his eyes. He shoves me playful, laughing.
"No, jackass, you told me about it," He explains. We sit for a while, soaking in the sunset. I glance back over to the elderly couple and find myself falling into another memory.
"You look cute today," S says. I wanted to believe it was Stan, but the voice...it sounded off. Not like him, but familiar. I couldn't place it.
"Thanks," I mutter. The boy leans in and presses his lips to mine. It was sweet and innocent. It wasn't like a heavy make-out session or even open-mouthed. It was wonderful and afterwards I got a feeling in my stomach I had experienced recently.
~_~_~
"Isn't this the place the team went after every game," I ask. We enter a small ice-cream shop a few miles from school. I'm surprised the place is still running. It only has 3 booths and a small table, not counting the booth at the front where you pay and get the ice-cream.
"Yes it is. It also happens to be the first time you--"
"Guys, this is my boyfriend."
"Came out," I answer for him. He turns to look at me, clearly shocked. I shrug, trying to downplay the moment, but I think Zayn can tell I'm pleased with myself.
"That's right. We were sitting... here," Zayn says. I follow him and slide into the booth. "You and S were across from me," Zayn explains. I run my fingers over a carving of a heart on the table.
"Everyone was really supportive of you. I think it had something to do with you being the captain, but everyone was fine with it. In fact I think someone bought you guys your ice-cream just for having the nerve to say it," Zayn explains. I nod, trying to remember.
"You're dating...S-S...St-t."
I push myself to try and remember the rest of what he had said. The name. I just need the damn name. I just want to be sure that's what his name is. Why can't I remember?
"Want to go to our last place," Zayn asks. I give a small nod and he stands, walking out of the shop. She gives us a kind smile, but there is something in her eyes that tells me she knows something I don't.
~_~_~
"My mom's?" Zayn pulls into the driveway and nods before heading towards the door. I follow behind, still confused.
"There's no better place to find out about your past than your own room. I wouldn't be surprised if you wrote it down or have pictures somewhere." Zayn brings his hand up to the door and knocks. "I think I remember where you kept your personal pictures actually," He mumbles to himself.
My mother answers a moment later, "Second time this week, you haven't visited this much since you moved out. Zayn! How wonderful for you to drop by. Come in, come in, I'm being rather rude. Would you guys like anything to drink?" She leads us inside and gestures for us to take a seat.
"No ma'am. We're just going on a walk down memory lane. So far, we've been to the school, the park, and the ice-cream parlor," Zayn explains. Mother nods. "We were wondering if we could go look in Louis' old room? Figured there could be some stuff in there," Zayn mutters. She gives him a worried look, but after a moment nods.
I follow him to my old bedroom. He walks to the bed and lifts the mattress, moving it over to reveal a small notebook hidden under it. He smiles, clearly pleased with himself, before opening the notebook only to find all the pages torn out.
"Where did they go? You wrote so much in this thing," Zayn protests loudly. Mom comes in a moment later, looking distressed. She looks between us and frowns. "Do you know what happened to the pages in here? He taped all sorts of photos and had so many memories in this," Zayn questions. When she doesn't answer he goes to the drawers of my desk and opens them, to reveal nothing.
"What about the letters that he always sent you. You kept them in here, I know it for sure." I had never seen Zayn look so confused before. He walks around the room again, trying to find any trace of that year, only to come up empty handed. "Someone took all the photos and letters and books you had that logged your whole relationship. What happened to it all," Zayn asks my mother. I shiver as his voice becomes harsh and accusing.
"I.. um... he came. He said that since he wasn't going to get to see Louis again he wanted to remember the times they had together. I... gave him everything. I didn't know you was going to want it," Jay explains. I walk towards my mother, confused and hurt.
"How could you just give away my memories like that? I had everything written out and logged and you just... gave it away? To who? Stan? You gave Stan all my stuff? Did you know what kind of shit he put me through? How about those nights I came home with bruises from when he grabbed me? When I came home crying because he called me a whore? Hell, that was all just sophomore year! Who knows what he could've done senior." I was overly pissed. I watch as tears start to gather in my mom's eyes, but I don't care. How can I?
"I'm sorry, Louis I just wasn't thinking I don't know. I'm sorry," She mutters. I roll my eyes and storm out of my bedroom.
"Yea, you obviously weren't thinking. How about I just write down all my other memories for you to hand out too, huh?" She enters the living room, with Zayn not far behind.
"Louis, it's okay, we can look somewhere else. You shouldn't be yel--," Zayn tries, but I cut him off.
"You're no better! Both of you are keeping something from me and I'm so sick of it. I was supposed to be learning things tonight, but all I learned is that my mother doesn't care about my privacy and my best friend likes keeping secrets. I bet the only reason you're doing this is to protect Stan's ass, huh? I'll be waiting in the car, I just wanna go home," I huff, slamming the door on my way out.
~_~_~
Hey guys! I'm so pleased with the positive response. Once again: There are comments on this book from 2016 because that was when it was original published. I took this book down recently and I'm republishing chapters after I edit them. So, please don't get confused if you see older comments! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed! ~B
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