It wasn't even an hour after they were taking a nap that Harry woke up with the buzzing noise of his phone, without opening his eyes he reached to the nightstand for it, Zayn was sleeping peacefully on his chest, he tightened his grip on Harry's body, his hair was covering his whole face but his lips, he pouted in his sleep, not really happy with Harry moving under him.

With one eye open just to see who is bothering their bliss, he answered the phone with a huff, "hello?" he mumbled, trying not to irritate Zayn in his sleep.

"dude, it's noon, are you still sleeping?!" Liam said, not believing the Harry Styles was still in bed when they had so much to do.

"no! I mean yeah I was sleeping, but it was just a nap after-" he coughed, "you don't need to know." he had to stop himself before telling Liam everything.

Liam was quiet for a couple of seconds till it clicked, "oh, alright, um- so- have you decided yet?"

Harry's brain was still not fully functioning, he frowned, "decided what?"

It was Liam's turn to huff, "dude! Really? You said you'll tell me today!"

"screaming won't help me remember Payne!" Harry hissed, which made Zayn frown, Harry ran his fingers through his hair to relax him back to sleep.

"the charity gala tonight! You said you'll decide how much the company will donate!" Liam was this close to just hang up and do everything by himself, it was the first year of the gala, it was their charity institute, the main goal was to gather help for those who are in need of a heart transplant, the idea was Harry's when he first brought Zayn back home from the hospital, he just wanted to give others the chance to feel as lucky as he did.

But apparently, he was so occupied with making sure Zayn was okay that he totally forgot about the dates.

"oh," Harry stared at sleeping beauty on top of him, "shit! shit! shit! it's tonight?!"

"you are a lost cause; I'll be there in an hour!" Liam gave him a bit more time to make a decision.

Now the two love birds were not even close to being ready, "Zayn?" Harry called as he was playing with Zayn's hair, "God! Let me sleep!" Zayn moved from top of Harry to the other side of the bed, all he wanted was to gain his energy back.

"I want to let you sleep! But we have some stuff to do! The company-"

Zayn turned his face to Harry, "I'm unemployed, no job, let me be!" then he pulled the blanket over his face, just like that.

Harry stared at the blanket for some time, then he turned the begging on, "wifyyyyy!" he dragged the word, making his voice softer, he crawled under the blanket, "you wanna send me to a gala alone?"

With his eyes still closed, Zayn huffed, "I believe you are a grown-" then opened his eyes to look at Harry, "overgrown man, you can go alone."

Harry pouted, he sat on the bed, thinking about ways to convince Zayn to go with him, "it's a charity gala," maybe if he knows it's for a good cause he would cooperate?

It was silent for some time, Zayn heard what he said, he was just waiting for Harry to explain more, which he didn't so he had to ask, "what charity gala?"

"look I don't know the details, Liam just called me and told me I have to be there," he wanted to surprise Zayn with the fact that it's their charity, that Harry name the charity after him, he was just hoping Zayn wouldn't feel like Harry was being too much again.

"Please?" Harry pulled the best puppy eyes he could manage.

Zayn stared at him, "fuck you! fine!" he was so tired that he had to peel himself off the bed to the bathroom.

Knowing that Zayn was probably in a bad mood, Harry decided to take a shower in the guest room instead of joining him.

When Harry came back into their room, Zayn was already dressed, "how are you?" he asked Harry, which he did not expect.

"what?"

Zayn rolled his eyes, "well! It was your first time bottoming! Are you ok?" he was annoyed yes, why? Caused it was the first time that he had to be the one who's asking stuff like this, he did not know much about aftercare.

Harry blushed a little, it hurt, maybe a little too much, but he was not about to lay there and ask for anything, no, just nope, "yeah I'm fine, just a bit sore, but ok." It was a lie, but no one needed to know that.

"I mean I can think of ways to make it better," Zayn smirk, Harry knew all the tricks, he was not about to fall for a rimming trap.

"Liam's gonna be here soon, no time for your naughty plans I'm afraid." He smiled, it was kinda cute, watching Zayn try to be more dominant.

There was a visible pout on Zayn's face as he just nodded and continued to get dressed, "what are you gonna wear tonight?" Zayn asked him.

Harry thought about it, he rushed to his closet, "I wore all of these already." He looked stressed, Zayn tried to make it better so he said, "I mean, it's not like you can't wear them again?"

"it's a GALA, I can't!" it was their gala to be exact, he had to look his best.

Zayn took a step back and sat on the bed, going through his phone while Harry was swimming in his clothes to find something new.

After some time Liam came knocking on the door, Zayn was the one to answer the door since Harry was too busy going nuts.

"where is Harry?" Liam asked after he gave Zayn a hug.

"in our room, going crazy over the fact that he doesn't have new clothes to wear tonight!" Zayn complained.

"This happens every time there is a gala or a party," Liam laughed, he knew the gala was a surprise for Zayn, so he didn't spoil anything, "anyway, what are you gonna wear?"

"I don't care, a black suit or something." Zayn honestly didn't care, he was going so Harry wouldn't be alone, it didn't matter.

"that won't work," Liam said, without any more explanations he got up and called Louis, asking him to be there to take Zayn shopping.

"Liam I don't need new clothes man," Zayn tried to reason with Liam, who just nodded and went to their room to find Harry.

So Liam came up with a plan to make stuff more exciting, the plan was that lirry and zouis would go shopping separately, get ready and surprise each other with the final look.

Kinda like a game, there was only one winner.

And we all know Zayn couldn't lose.

Louis was the first one of the two to choose, but Zayn? The dude was taking too long to pick something, to Louis everything Zayn wore looked good on him, but apparently, Zayn wanted to go there with something a little more dangerous, something exciting.

Louis asked him 10 times that what happened to the 'I don't care' but Zayn would just roll his eyes every time, he wanted to win, was it too hard to understand?

The result of their shopping shocked Louis, he knew he wanted something different, but this was not what he expected, and they both knew Harry is gonna lose his shit and the game.

Louis was supposed to take Zayn to the event's hall before anyone gets there, Zayn was asking all kinds of questions, wanting to know why Harry was not with them, and Louis was this close to just tell him everything.

"dude, wait 5 more minutes!" Louis huffed, "it's not like imma kidnap you or anything." He rolled his eyes.

Zayn crossed his arms over his chest, thinking that what if he overdid it? What if the thing he is wearing is too much? "you look great, stop worrying." Louis finally smiled, trying to be as reassuring as possible.

And Harry was not much different, he was running over Liam's nerves with his worrying too, though Liam didn't have to deal with him much since he was in charge of making sure shit won't hit the fan tonight, he was too busy for Harry to follow him around.

Louis texted Harry letting him know that they are close so Harry could come to the gates and wait for Zayn.

"holy shit, here we go," Harry was visibly sweating when he saw their car pulling in the driveway, he ran to them to open the door for Zayn, and what he witnesses made him stare for good 10 seconds.

"wow, do I look that bad?" Zayn was feeling vulnerable under Harry's gaze. He felt like crying when all Harry did was stare.

"you win." That was all Harry could manage to say.

"what?"

"you look so beautiful," Harry smiled and hugged Zayn, tight enough to make him feel less insecure.

"wait, why did you cut your hair?" Zayn asked Harry, "it's not fair, I loved them!"

"I'm sorry love, but they were getting too annoying!" before Zayn could argue more, Harry took his hand to guide him to the gates, "shall we?"

"The grace of life?" Zayn waited to read the brochure, "wait a second Harry, what is this saying?"

"I believe you can read babe."

Zayn frowned and kept on reading, "you did this? You did this for people with heart problems? Like me?"

Harry shook his head, "for people like us, I want to give others the chance to feel as lucky as I did."

Zayn was speechless, "and I didn't do it alone, we did it. if it wasn't for you, I-" Harry couldn't finish his words, he had to stop himself, Zayn was on the verge of crying himself, it was too much to take in, Harry did this for him, all Zayn could do was to hug the man.

"thank you," he whispered, "thank you, Harry, this is, it's beautiful, I can't even describe how I feel right now, the grace is supposed to be me right? it's after my name?, I-"

"shut up and kiss me already." Harry pulled him for a kiss.

"God, that was too cheesy, EW!" Louis yelled from behind them, "let me take a picture so we can go in already!"

Being social was not Zayn's specialty, he mostly stood next to Louis while the businessmen were doing their thing, these two were there for the fun, so whatever Louis did he would just do the same, well not the alcohol part, Harry wouldn't allow him, so he had his soft drink in his hand and would follow Louis around for food mostly.

"Mrs. Archer! Hi!" Zayn ran to the woman the second he saw her, "Zayn, love! You look great!" she gave him a tight hug, tight enough for Zayn to feel like he was hugging his own mother, "God I missed you!" she said.

"you know you are always welcome to our home, right?" Zayn smiled and they kept on chatting, till it was time for Harry's speech, the two friends and Mrs. Archer stood close to Harry while he tested the mic.

"first of all, I want to thank every single one of you for joining me tonight, it is a very special night for me, I wanna give you the 'why' with a little story, some time ago, I reunited with the love of my life, not gonna lie to anyone, I was miserable before him, and when he came back I was already such a mess that I forgot how to love," you could see the visible sadness on his face, the guilt, there was nothing to hide anymore, he continued, "I didn't know how to show him how sad I was when he wasn't there all those years ago, I didn't know how to show my feelings and all of them lead me to not appreciating the gift the life gave me,"

People were quiet, some would give Zayn sad eyes every now and then, at some points Zayn felt trapped, he had tears in his eyes and all he wanted was a hug, he wanted to run to Harry and hug him, making sure he was ok too.

"and life slapped me back to reality when I was this close to losing him," Harry took a deep breath, trying to hide how his heart beating in his mouth with a smile, "God, worst days of my life, I knew I was gone if he was, till one day God sent an angel to save us both, and I got my life back, now I can smile every day because of the bravery of a mother,"

He didn't say a name, but Zayn took her hand in his, they were as cold as his.

"I started this charity to make sure more people will feel as happy as I am now, hope we all can keep this going, with your help, we will make a change! Cheers!"

After all of these, Zayn felt like he physically needed to stay close to Harry, he was cold and Harry was the only one who would keep him warm, so he followed him around like a lost puppy.

"are you ok?" finally Harry asked when Zayn refused to leave him even when he wanted to go to the restroom.

"can I have a hug?" Zayn asked desperately, he didn't know what was happening to him, and luckily Harry didn't ask anything, he just pulled him in for a hug, Zayn tightened his grip, he needed more, he wanted to feel close.

"let's go home," Zayn sniffed.

"Zayn talk, you are scaring me, babe." He took Zayn's face in his hand, "what's wrong?"

All Zayn did was to bring him closer for a kiss, not that Harry didn't like it but he was worried so he pulled away, "tell me,"

With a huff, Zayn hid his face in Harry's neck, "I wanna be close to you,"

"oh, we can go to the dressing room and rest a little if you want?" all he got was a nod, so they walked there together, Harry made sure the door was locked and they just laid on an old couch there was. Cuddling with Zayn laying on top of him for some time.

"do you feel better?" Harry asked, brushing through Zayn's hair.

Zayn shook his head and got up for a kiss, Harry went with it, slow snogging, trying to see where Zayn wanted to go with it.

"I need you."

Harry was shocked, "here? Babe, we'll go home in an hour or so,"

"now, please, I need you close, this is not working!" he mumbled, eyes a bit teary, he didn't know what was wrong with him, all he knew was he didn't want to wait.

"But we don't have lube or-"

"I do," Zayn said.

"you do?"

"you are talking too much," Harry didn't need to know that Louis told him he has to carry these around, nope, he didn't need to.

Zayn lowered himself to Harry's crotch, he took his belt off, without saying too much, he got to work, he wanted to get to the point fast, so he made sure to give the best head he could manage, to use all the tongue tricks he had, "fuck Zayn! shit!" Harry was shaking from how fast Zayn was working him, he tried to make him slow down by pulling his hair, but nope, the guy even enjoyed that.

"shit, fuck!" Harry's eyes rolled back when he felt the back of Zayn's throat, "enough!" he pulled him up for a kiss.

The kiss didn't last for long, Zayn want him too bad to waste time, so he moved away to get the lube, "I didn't prepare you!" Harry complained when he saw Zayn is just about to go down on his dick.

"I don't need it," to get Harry to stop worrying he bent down for a kiss as he sank down on him, "fuck I missed this," he had to go slow, it hurt but he needed the pain too, so he hid his face in Harry's neck, waiting for him to do the job.

It was a tuff situation, Zayn wanted to be on top but Harry had to be one who did all the moving, it was ok though, they didn't have to rush, it was slow so Zayn could feel the closeness, the care, the love.

Harry wanted to make sure Zayn was enjoying himself, that he would feel better after this, he refused to show his face to Harry, though Harry knew he was ok from the noises he was making, he knew he didn't want dirty talk now, he needed the warmth, so Harry made sure it lasted long enough for him to feel content.

"you are doing perfect baby," Harry moaned, "my good boy."

Zayn loved it, he waned to be good for Harry, "I- I'm close Harry, go faster," Zayn mewled, still not moving his face from Harry's neck.

Harry took his hips in his hands and moved faster, till they both reached their high.

No one moved for some time, Harry just played with Zayn's hair till he was ready, no rush.

"thank you." Zayn smiled, and gave Harry a kiss to show him he appreciates him, and well, he didn't want to talk about it. Harry just nodded and kissed him back.

They had to clean up fast, they were gone for too long, they did get some smirks from some of the friends but it wasn't that bad.

"I need a lake house for tomorrow, can you manage that?" Zayn asked Louis the second he saw him.

"I thought you just got laid," Louis smirked, it's always fun to tease your friend.

"haha, now that we laughed, can you or not?"

Louis smirk grew, "I'll give you the keys and the location in an hour." I mean, he is the Tommo, he can do anything if he wanted to.

*****

hello guys!

so first of all, I am so sorry for the late update, so here's the reasons why.

i was scared shitless to write, this was tuff, kinda impossible to get done, i still don't like it but i've been trying to finish this for weeks.

first i was afraid of writing something bad and shitting the last chapters and second i was afraid of the edit.

yes it's bad, i know it is, but i wanted there.

i was terrified of the reactions, i still am, so be gentle please.

thanks everyone who checked up on me while i was gone, it means a lot to me.

thanks all of you for reading, voting and commenting.

i think one more chapter left, I'll try to be quick.

Sorry if it was too long, hope you enjoyed.

love you all!