Zayn woke up with the doorbell ringing, he groaned. when he opened his eyes he thought Harry would be in his arms, but it was totally the opposite of that. Zayn was curled up on Harry's chest, who had his nose buried in Zayn's hair.

The bell ringed again, reminding Zayn that he had to get up. To his surprise, Harry tightened his hold around him.

Zayn chuckled, gently untangling himself from Harry's embrace who made an unhappy noise as he felt Zayn leaving though Harry didn't want to stop him since whoever was at the door was determined to get inside.

Knowing his hair was a mess, Zayn tried to shipshape them a bit, he cleared his throat before he answered the door.

There stood the same girl he saw at his wedding, what was her name again?

"hello-" before Zayn could even finish greeting her, she walked past him in the house.

"hey, is Harry home?" she asked, flipping her long hair. Putting her -very expensive looking- bag on the sofa nearest to her, looking around for Harry.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" he knew her, but then again, she was too rude, he couldn't be polite with people like that.

Kendall rolled her eyes, Zayn was shocked at her attitude, "I'm Kendall, Harry's friend."

"he never mentioned you." Zayn said, standing closer to her, she was taller than him, it was awkward so he didn't get too close.

She gave him a bored look, "just tell him I'm here, would you?"

No.

Don't "make yourself at home." Zayn said through his teeth,

already walking to their room, he didn't look back to see what she was doing, and he

wasn't even sure if Harry was ok with meeting her.

When he opened the door, he was met with Harry laying on his back, his right forearm over

his head, snoring lightly.

Zayn closed the door behind himself, walking to the bed, he softly brushed Harry's hair,

calling his name.

"Harry? Wake up." Harry just groaned, turned his back to Zayn, trying to fall asleep again.

Zayn giggled, "this Kendall girl is here,"

In the mention of her name, Harry rolled on his back, frowning.

"she just bragged in, demanding to see you," Zayn explained.

Harry cleared his throat, slowly taking the blindfold off, "why can't I just have peace for a day?" he mumbled to himself.

Zayn's heart dropped at the sight in front of him. Harry's eyes were puffy and red, he looked so tired.

"I can try to get rid of her if you want?" Zayn offered when he saw Harry moving around the room sorely to get changed.

Zayn waited for Harry's answer as he helped the curly boy with the buttons of his shirt. There was no way of Harry doing that by himself, his hands were too shaky and the light in the room still hurt his head.

"you can't, believe me, I've tried." Harry maffled too serious for Zayn to take it as a joke.

Harry went ahead and walked towards the door, Zayn stood still in the room, maybe they needed some time alone? Should he follow Harry?

His chain of thoughts was cut short when Harry turned to look at him when he didn't feel Zayn next to himself.

"Are you coming?" Harry asked, extending his hand for Zayn to take it.

Zayn nodded, fast-walked to Harry, and took his hand in his smaller ones.

Harry's hands were so cold, probably cuz he was angry.

"oh! Hi Harry!" Kendall's voice echoed in Harry's head, he did not need this right now, instead of grimacing, Harry put a polite smile on his face.

"hi, Miss Jenner,"

Zayn wanted to laugh, out loud, at Harry's polite way of insulting her.

But he controlled himself.

Zarry sat down on the love seat, Zayn's hand still in Harry's, Kendall sat in front of them.

"I was at your company today! People were saying all sorts of things about you. they said you were on drugs, overdose even! But you look ok?" Kendall said without taking a breath between her sentences.

Of course, people were talking behind his back, "it was just a headache,"

Just a headache my ass, Zayn thought, it was hell, it felt like hell.

"Liam said you are resting, but I wanted to make sure you were ok, do you need anything? Just name it, i-"

"it's fine, Zayn here took good care of me, I don't know how he did it, I think he is a magician or something." To add some spice, Harry kissed the back of Zayn's hand, it was true, he never recovered from migraine attacks this fast, work of magic from Zayn's side.

Zayn blushed at the compliment, he didn't say anything though, he just kept his eyes on Harry's face, somehow his jawline looked sharper.

Zayn was kinda in a daze when he heard Kendall asking for a cup of tea.

Before he can even stand up, Harry beat him to it, "I'll do it," Harry smiled, his head was banging and he wanted Kendall out, he wanted to get away from her voice even if it's for just a second.

"so, Zayn was it? How is your marriage?"

"Pardon?" Zayn's eyes widened, he doesn't even know the girl for more than 10 minutes for fuck sake.

"I mean I've heard people say he is a god in bed, I had a piece of him and yep they are right!"

Zayn just stared at her, is she crazy? On drugs? He felt like running away. To his luck Harry came back, giving the girl her tea, and sat next to Zayn.

"What happened, babe?" Harry asked when he saw the scared look on Zayn's face.

"oh dear, you didn't know?" Kendall asked mocking a surprise.

"about what?" Harry asked her this time.

"that we had a history!"

It clicked, the mind game was on so Harry would play too, "oh you mean that one time that I got drunk and we fucked in the restroom?"

Kendall was shocked at the change of attitude, but she didn't acknowledge it, "yep,"

"then let's not call it a 'history'," Harry said.

Zayn and Kendall both looked at him questionably, "why though? I mean we know each other for a long time!" Kendall reasoned.

"cuz I didn't even get to ejaculate," he said in a low, dangerous tone, the venom in his voice sent a shiver down Zayn's spine, he wanted to know how Kendall felt.

She laughed, taking another sip of her tea, "nice joke!"

"I'm not joking, though I think it's time for you to leave," he stood up, literally opening the front door for her, with a polite smile he added, "if you ever wanted to visit again, call me first, goodbye."

She left with a frown like she actually didn't know what went wrong, but the second she was out and in the elevator, Zayn burst into a fit of laughter.

"damn Harry!" he slapped his knee, "you roasted the poor girl."

Harry made a face, "poor girl? She is a snake man, always trying to find a way in my freaking pants," Harry said with a huff like he was actually tired of her.

"always? What?" Zayn questioned, both sitting down on the couch. Harry didn't waste time, he just laid his head on Zayn's lap, before answering him, Harry took Zayn's wrist and put his hand on his head, asking for a head massage, Zayn smiled.

"yes since the day I saw her, 5 years ago, she can easily find someone else, but no! she has to be in my hair!" he groaned, remembering every time he had to politely shut her up.

"but did you really not orgasm?" Zayn chuckled, thinking Harry just lied to get back at her, and he wanted to know.

Harry shook his head, the massage he was receiving was making him woozy, "our marriage night was the first orgasm that I had after- um- that night-"

He didn't want to talk about it, how he couldn't let himself be with anyone, he didn't even feel the need to sleep with someone, for years after Zayn left, he was working on himself, on building his company. Liam always teased him about his sexual frustration, he was right, but Harry dealt with it in other ways, he ignored it for so long that the first night with Zayn he couldn't even feel his muscles.

He couldn't believe it, a guy like Harry, he was always in the mood if you asked him to, then he ignored it for so long? Zayn was wondering what happened to this guy when he left?

It was an awkward silence, Harry decided to break it, "I have to call Liam, could you fetch me my phone?" Harry asked, raising from his position.

Zayn nodded, "imma make the pasta I promised," he whispered as he gave Harry his phone.

30 minutes later, Zayn was done cooking, but he could hear Harry still talking to Liam, so he put the food in the oven to keep it warm for when they decide to eat.

He didn't know if it was ok to listen to what Harry was saying or not. if it was ok to go and sit next to him on the couch, he decided to sneak a peek and see if what they are saying is too private or not. So he walked out of the kitchen, Harry was talking in a very low voice, probably cuz of his headache, Zayn had to hold his breath to hear him.

"I know Liam, but it's always back of my head," Harry waited for Liam to answer.

"yeah he did take care of me, he is making pasta now," pause.

"but it still-"

It was about a minute later, Liam was lecturing Harry.

"I know I can't take it if he leaves and it scares me," Harry said in such a low voice, almost a whisper, "I just think about last time he left without a reason, what if he leaves again?" his voice cracked, he laid back on the couch, whining as he felt sweat coating his body again.

Harry was right, well, to his point of view. to Harry, Zayn had no reason, Zayn shook his head, announcing his entrance with a cough.

Harry cleared his throat, "I'll talk to you later Liam." Then he hanged up, but he didn't move from his spot, he was laying on his back, he just closed his eyelids to mask the tears.

Without warning, Zayn put his legs on either side of Harry's hips, putting his butt down on Harry's lap.

"what are you doing?" Harry asked without opening his eyes.

"I didn't mean to, but I heard you,"

Harry didn't open his eyes; he knew Zayn must have heard something.

Zayn bent forward, right on top of Harry's face, "look at me," he demanded.

A tear spilled from the corner of Harry's eye, he refused to open them.

"you need to look me in the eyes when I say this," Zayn pleaded this time, he needed Harry to look at him.

With a shaky breath, Harry gave him what he wanted, "now listen to me carefully," he dipped his fingers between Harry's curls, "whatever happened 10 years ago, it wasn't your fault," he paused, Harry looked at him like he really didn't want to talk about it.

"There is no point of bringing up the past, I know you are angry, lost, you want answers," he cupped Harry's face in his palms, "I wish I could give to you what you wanted,"

Before Harry can beg him to just give him the reason, Zayn continued, "I just can't Harry, it won't change anything, I can give you one thing though,"

He waited, took a deep breath, "when we got married I swore to stay with you for the good and the bad, right?"

Harry stared at him for a couple of seconds then he nodded, "I won't leave you till death do us part," and he meant it.

Harry avoided his eyes, looking everywhere but at Zayn, his face was still cupped in Zayn's hand, he felt... relieved, the weight on his heart was gone, he just didn't want Zayn to see the tears running down on his cheeks.

Zayn wiped the tears off, sealing the promise with a kiss.

Melting under Zayn's touch was the only thing Harry could do, he couldn't move or say anything, he just let Zayn kiss him better. He could feel goosebumps rising on the back of his neck as Zayn deepen the kiss, he let him take control when Zayn flickers his tongue over Harry's bottom lip.

The kiss was messy but passionate, Harry took a fist full of Zayn's hair, bringing him closer.

Harry felt Zayn's hand travel down his body, resting on his side for a moment, focusing back on the kiss. Zayn kissed his way down to Harry's neck, Harry closed his eyes, it felt good to lose control for once, to feel cared for.

Zayn didn't want to have sex, he didn't want to get up and leave Harry like this just to bring lube and condoms.

But Harry needed this, so Zayn just pulled Harry's pants down, and laid beside him.

Harry's arm under his head and he took Harry's cock in his fist, Harry rolled on his side to face Zayn so he could have better access. Zayn put his forehead on Harry's, staring at the other one's lips.

"kiss me already," Harry whined as he was getting a slow hand-job.

Zayn did, he kissed him deep enough to bring needy moans out of the guy.

As he felt Harry twitching in his palm, he stroked him faster, Harry's mouth hung open, giving easy access to Zayn to explore every inch with his tongue.

White loads of cum dropped off Harry as he came with a loud sigh, his body shook at the force, he felt at ease, he wanted to do something for Zayn in return, but he was too shaky for that.

"I'm hungry," Harry groaned when his stomach grumbled loudly.

Zayn smiled, kissing his forehead, without saying anything he detached himself from Harry to bring food for them.

The only thing in Zayn's mind was just hope. Hope that Harry can move on, that he never has to witness a strong man like him break down again.

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hello beautiful people!

wow its been 40 chapters already? cant believe it!

hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know if it was too shitty 🙃🙃

There are so many grammatical issues in this chapter, I might edit them. but wait, I'm too lazy🥲 so sorry about them 😬