Chapter 15

It was now night time back at the base, and Hiccup and Ragnar were getting ready for some much-needed rest. It had been days since they'd gotten a good night's sleep, and every bone in their tired bodies ached from the events of this last week.

Ragnar pulled the covers up over himself on his cot and yawned. "Ah, night Hiccup. Try and get some rest. The celebration feast is tomorrow." He sank down, shifting into a comfortable position.

Across from him, Hiccup remained sitting up in his bed, staring straight ahead at the wall. "Likewise," he mumbled quietly. He made no effort to make himself comfortable or lay down.

Ragnar furrowed his brow. He knew that something was still bothering his friend as it had been for several days now, but didn't press him. Hiccup would come around in due time. But still...Ragnar wished he could do something, anything, to help him.

The next day went by in a haze for Hiccup until the time of the evening gathering at the mess hall. When the boys arrived, they were greeted with compliments and pats on the shoulder. The voices of the various men carried across the room.

"Good work this week, boys. That was not an easy victory to come by."

"Nice dragons."

"Wish I could have been there."

Ragnar offered a grin. "Thank you," he said, taking a seat at the table. Hiccup did the same.

The colonel approached them and sat down across the table. "I must commend you two for your fine work. It was not easy, and I must admit, I had doubts about sending you there. But you both prevailed. And Hiccup," he paused, turning to face him. "Ragnar told me about what you did. That was very courageous of you."

Hiccup didn't respond, and Ragnar eventually interjected. "Thank you, Sir," he answered for him.

Another young man approached them, paying them compliments. But Hiccup heard none of it, as the noises in his head became louder and louder. His heart raced as he heard the noises once again.

Cries of pain.

The bullets hitting his target.

The thud of the man hitting the ground in a pool of his own blood...

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

Hiccup's heart continued to race as the memories of battle flooded his mind. Darting his eyes around the room, his vision became blurry as he gasped for air, shallow of breath. He could feel beads of sweat forming on his brow as his pulse quickened. He could distantly hear Ragnar calling his name beside him, but it seemed miles away.

Thump.

Thump.

Hiccup could hear nothing over the sound of his own heartbeat. Suddenly, involuntarily, he shot up out of his seat.

"QUIET!" he shouted, out of breath. In an instant, the large room went silent. All eyes were fixated on him. But before he could process what was going on, Hiccup felt himself turning towards the door and sprinting out into the rain.

Hiccup kept running into the pouring rain. He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't care. All he knew was that he needed to escape.

Turning a corner, Hiccup stopped in between two buildings, out of breath. His eyes swam as he tried to make sense of where he was, but couldn't. Gasping for air, he sank down against the wall, holding his head in his hands. He felt himself trembling as flashes of war played out in his mind. Time seemed to stand still.

"HICCUP!" A voice shouted, and the form of Ragnar rounded the corner, although Hiccup was hardly aware. "Hiccup! Are you ok?" he said, crouching down beside him.

Hiccup didn't move. He wanted to but didn't feel like he could. It was as if every bone in his body was suddenly glued down, and he had no control over himself. Ragnar spoke again softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hiccup, look at me."

Hiccup somehow managed to face his friend.

"Are you ok?" he repeated, searching his eyes intently.

Hiccup nodded, feeling himself snap back to the present. "I'm fine."

Ragnar held his gaze. "We need to talk, Hiccup."

Hiccup studied Ragnar sardonically. "What about?"

"You. You're-"

"I said I was fine."

Ragnar gave a harsh, humorless laugh. "Any half-wit a mile off could see that you're not."

Hiccup moved away, distancing himself. "I told you I was ok. Now, aren't you satisfied?"

"No. Hiccup," Ragnar came closer, not allowing Hiccup to leave. "Listen to me. You need to talk about what's going on inside you. I'm not going to sit back and watch another display like the one that just happened, and the one last night."

Hiccup shook his head in confusion. "W..what are you talking about?"

"You ran out of the mess hall. You didn't sleep last night. And I know it's all because of-"

Hiccup's eyes darted into him, his expression suddenly fierce. "Stop."

"It's because of what happened to you in-"

Hiccup shakily moved back. "Don't Ragnar."

"It's what happened to you in the battle. Please," he put his hand behind Hiccup's neck, turning him towards himself. "Tell me what happened."

"I can't..."

"Now."

"No."

"Hiccup, if you don't open up, this shit will kill you on the inside, do you understand?"

Hiccup suddenly shoved Ragnar off of him and stood to his feet. "SHUT UP! Just SHUT UP, do you hear? Why should I give a damn if it does kill me? I killed that man in cold blood, so why should I deserve to live instead?! Why do I fucking deserve anything? I'm a murderer!"

Ragnar rose and shouted back. "You didn't kill that man in cold blood, you killed him because he was coming after me! You saved me, Hiccup!"

"NO! It doesn't matter. None of this fucking matters! I can't do this anymore!" Hiccup turned away, intending to flee, but Ragnar grabbed him from behind before he could move, pinning him to the wall with both arms.

"Now you listen to me! War is war, Hiccup! People die! And it's fucking hell, but that's just what happens! Get it through your mind that you did nothing wrong! You did something right!"

Hiccup struggled to get free, but Ragnar held him there, continuing. "We go to war in order to save people Hiccup, and that's just what you did."

"You don't understand Ragnar. You can't!"

Ragnar paused for a moment, his eyes locking into Hiccup's. "Trust me, I understand better than anyone else."

Hiccup felt his body going limp, as a grief too deep for words washed over him. He crumpled against the wall, and Ragnar grasped him and held him against himself in a strong embrace before he could fall. Ragnar didn't let go as Hiccup sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

Ragnar tried his best to comfort him. "Shh, it's ok Hiccup. There's nothing to apologize for. War is hell, and I wish right now that I could tell you that you'll never feel like this again, but I know that that would only be a lie."

Hiccup continued to sob.

"Just stay strong my friend, and most importantly know that I'm always here for you. There's nothing that you could tell me that I haven't already been through myself."

~Line Break~

A few hours later, Colonel Underson sent word for Ragnar to join him when Hiccup was finally asleep. Opening the door, Ragnar approached the man.

"Is there something I can help you with, Sir?"

The colonel leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms loosely. "How's Hiccup?"

"In bed. He's...having a hard time adjusting."

"No different than you a few years ago."

"Yes, Sir."

The colonel sighed. "It will take time for him. Expect for what he went through tonight to happen again. Although you probably already know that."

"Yes, Sir."

"The reason I wanted to speak with you though is another matter that has to do with your next assignment," he opened a desk drawer and pulled out a small file of paperwork. He removed one of the sheets from the folder and lay it on the desk.

"What is that?" Ragnar asked.

"The location of your next mission. Much contemplation has gone into this decision; due to recent technological advances, we have made we have found a way to bypass the storm barrier that divides our world with...others. Because of this, we feel that the best place of all the islands we have discovered to continue work on our project is going to be here," he pointed to the map and slid it towards Ragnar.

Ragnar briefly studied the sheet and then felt himself going cold, for he knew exactly where the location was. And how much this mission might affect Hiccup, especially in his present state of mind.

Presenting a stoic version of himself, and being careful to mask any emotion, he nodded to the colonel in compliance. "Yes, Sir. What support will we have?"

"At this moment there are five F-16's and two C-130's that have been modified to make it through the barrier. They won't go with you but if you need support they are available to support and drop in Thunder Company. Now I suggest you go tell Hiccup and get ready to leave in the morning." Came the response.

"Yes Sir," Ragnar responded as he exited the office and walked outside back towards the dorms, he tried to think to himself how he would manage to go about sharing this information with Hiccup. It wouldn't be easy for him. In fact, he knew his friend would hate it. For the place that they were being sent to was none other than the place that Hiccup had spent the past several years running away from.

Berk.

A/N: Hi guys! Narniaqueen1300 here :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. As always, let us know what you think in the reviews :) I'm very sorry it took me so long for this update! As Thearizona has mentioned previously, we have both been very busy with college and everything. But fear not, for we still have many adventures planned for our two boys!

Also, we added a new picture for the story, which is the logo that we came up with for the Night Fury Program. It was drawn by Narniaqueen using what we had written out in chapter 12. Hope you enjoy! Hope you enjoyed what Narniaqueen wrote here and we are both happy that this story is doing well.

Semper Fi,

Thearizona