Writing style: Norse; English; Dragonese

Chapter 10

Hiccup sat at the dinner table, laughing with a few of the other guys. In the year that he'd been here, he'd managed to make a few friends aside from Ragnar, and when he wasn't busy training, he enjoyed spending the afternoons visiting with them, and sharing tales of Berk and the people there. He also took a keen interest in their lives, and absorbed as much as he could about this strange world that he was somehow now a part of.

He and Ragnar's friendship had grown as well, especially over the last several months. Although, while Hiccup had shared nearly all of his past with his friend, he still knew very little about what Ragnar's story was, and every time Hiccup had brought it up, Ragnar was quick to dismiss the subject and focus again on whatever task was at hand. Hiccup had chosen to overlook it, however because of Ragnar's secretive nature, there had been some conflict between them as of late. Nothing serious, but enough that there was some tension between the two.

Matthew punched Hiccup's shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"So, have you signed up yet?"

"Signed up? For what?"

"The annual sniper competition." The blank look on Hiccup's face bespoke his ignorance on the topic.

"Ragnar did tell you about it, right?"

"Uh..." Hiccup looked over at Ragnar, who avoided eye contact. "No, I haven't heard of it yet."

Matthew gulped down some water. "Oh, well, if you want to get a place on the list, I would sign up as soon as possible. These things fill up pretty quick." He rose, picking up his tray. "See you around, Hiccup."

"Yeah, see you."

A little while later, on their way out, Hiccup brought up the subject matter to Ragnar.

"So, about this competition, how do Toothless and I sign up?" Hiccup disposed of his dinner tray and proceeded to walk out the door following Ragnar.

Ragnar kept walking, not looking at him. "You won't need to sign up because you won't be entering."

Hiccup stopped. "What?"

"Just as I said," the blonde said, stopping, but not turning back at Hiccup.

Hiccup stepped forward. "But...why?"

"I don't feel you are ready. Not yet."

"Not ready?" He faced Ragnar. "I have been here training for an entire year, Ragnar, why would I not be ready?"

"Your skills do not yet match what they are looking for."

Hiccup stepped in front of him, stopping him from going any further. "What do you mean my skills don't match? I can do nearly all the same things as you now! My endurance level is better than it's ever been, and even the colonel said that I was more improved now than he's ever seen me!"

"Yes, you have improved, Hiccup, but the choice of your advancement comes down to my decision, and I say that you're not ready yet. I am sorry." Ragnar closed his eyes, knowing that what he was saying would hurt Hiccup, but he couldn't help it. The winners of the competition would be placed in the most dangerous battles, and he couldn't risk losing Hiccup just like....others he had lost.

"I don't understand!" Hiccup shouted.

"You don't have to understand. You have only to do as you're told." Ragnar said quietly. He cringed when he saw the look of hurt disappointment and fury wash over his friend's face.

"You're holding me back! You know I am ready for the harder challenges, but you don't want me to advance! I see how it is. You don't trust me!"

"I do trust you, Hiccup, it's just—"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear you!" He gave a short, sardonic laugh. " And all this time I thought you wanted me to do better. Now I see what was really happening. You afraid I might be better than you. You're afraid of my advancement because it might threaten your position here!"

"Dammit Hiccup, if you would just listen to me!" Ragnar yelled, struggling to gain control of his emotions.

"I have listened to you! That's the problem." Hiccup said coldly.

Ragnar felt as though he had been shot. He turned away abruptly. "I have to go."

"Oh, so that's how it is? You just leave! Every time things don't go your way! You don't own me, Ragnar!"

Ragnar turned back to look over his shoulder at the boy, who so desperately wanted an explanation that he couldn't give. Breathing heavily, he raced into the night, not once turning to look back again.

Deeper and deeper Ragnar ran into the thick forest that bordered the base. He didn't know where he was going but did know that he needed to get away from Hiccup. He couldn't bear being around the boy. Not now.

After a little while, Ragnar stopped, out of breath, and leaned against a tree branch that hung low by the creek. As he struggled to regain his composure, he suddenly became aware of his own helplessness and was disgusted.

He had run!

He had run away from Hiccup! He never ran away from things, always confronted them head-on.

Or so he would like to believe. Hadn't he been running? Perhaps not from physical challenges, but from the truth about his life?

He sank down against the tree trunk and hugged his knees to his chest. He hated how he felt right now: weak, defenseless, cowardly.

Everything he despised in others, everything he had drilled into Hiccup for the past year not to be, were the very things he saw in himself if he were, to be honest.

Perhaps therein lied the trouble; Hiccup reminded him so much of someone. So very much...

Ragnar closed his eyes as memories from the past crept into his mind, and all of a sudden, he was a boy again, young and carefree...

"Rag! Come on, come on!"

12-year-old Ragnar finished cleaning his sword in the shed as he heard the piercing voice of his little brother, Erik, interrupt him.

"What do you want now?" He said, annoyed.

Erik trotted up to him, tripping over his feet a bit. At 7, he was quite active but had trouble sometimes keeping his pace.

"Mama wants you in the house for supper!"

Must he always be so loud? Ragnar put the cloth he was using to the side. "Tell her I'll be in in a bit. I'm almost done."

Erik seated himself on a stool nearby, swinging his legs back and forth. "Can't you play? I'm boooored," He whined. Ragnar sighed in annoyance. However, in spite of himself, he found he could never say no to the boy.

"Alright," He said, standing. "What do you want to play?"

Erik jumped up and followed after him. "Tree fort."

Ragnar raised an eyebrow. "Again?"

"Yes!"

However, before the two could continue, Ragnar heard the voice of their mother calling them. "Ragnar! Erik! Time to come in now!"

"Aww," Erik moaned. Ragnar ruffled his hair.

"Hey, it's ok. We'll play later. Come on, buddy, I'll catch you," He offered as the boy stood up again on the stool and jumped into Ragnar's arms.

"Weee!"

Ragnar laughed. "Good job." He took Erik's hand as they made their way back to the house.

Ah, if only life had gone on that way. Not a care in the world. But things change. And that fateful day that soon followed had been a source for hundreds of nights of feverish sleep, and constant fear in Ragnar's life. He had tried so hard to forget, but he found that he couldn't, no matter how desperately he willed himself to. He could still hear his father's voice, calling orders above the terrifying noise that was rising...

"We're under attack!"

Ragnar heard the shouts and piercing screams of the frightened villagers as their homes were being invaded by the Drakkaeins, the feared enemy of the people of Skógey Island. Homes were set aflame, and people slaughtered left and right.

Ragnar looked on from a distance. It had all happened so fast. He had gone out into the woods to play, and the next thing he knew, he heard his father's voice yelling, along with the other men of the village.

Frantic commands were given by the men for the women and children to stay down, to hide and not move.

Chaos was everywhere. Cries of pain penetrated the air, as the men clashed swords, and women were dragged out onto the streets by their hair. The sobbing of the small children could be heard in the distance, but they were soon silenced as the Drakkaeins swiftly put an end to them, and anyone else who crossed their path.

In one frantic moment, Ragnar bolted as fast as he could towards his home, which was near the end of the street. As he got closer, he could see his father fighting a man, resisting him with all his strength, and his mother and brother hiding behind a haystack. Erik was wailing, and his mother attempted to silence him so they would not be heard.

In a sickening moment, Ragnar watched as his father was run through by the blade of a soldier that had crept up behind him.

"No!" He screamed, and raced closer, about to attempt to take on the man himself.

His mother saw what he was attempting to do, and cried out to him through the chaos. "Ragnar! Don't!" She yelled as another soldier approached her and Erik. "Runaway, Ragnar! Go, now!"

Breathing heavily, Ragnar had no choice but to obey. Not turning around to look behind him, Ragnar bolted back into the forest and hid. Fear overtook him as he shook and hid inside of an old, rotted log, completely numb.

A little while later, Ragnar became aware of the silence that rung in the air. He peered out from his hiding place, and slowly emerged from it. Against his will, he felt himself walking towards the village that now consisted of piles of smoldering lumber and the villagers who had been killed. The stench of smoke and death hung over the place, and Ragnar felt nauseous at the sight that he beheld.

"M..mother?" He said quietly. And then he clasped his hands to his mouth when he saw her.

Blood seeped through her and Erik's clothing, as they lay lifeless on the ground. Erik's eyes were still slightly open, and blood was on his parted lips.

Ragnar sank to his knees as he leaned over his family's still forms. Lifting his brother from the ground and onto his lap, he cupped his head against his chest. Ragnar ran his hand softly over the boy's face, closing his eyes.

Bowing his head, Ragnar wept. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

That night, a young Night Fury had seen the little boy crying in the woods alone and shielded his wing over him to protect him from the rain.

As Ragnar remembered, tears streaked down his face for the first time in years.

"I'm sorry Erik...it was all my fault. I should have saved you. I should have saved all of you," Ragnar said into his knees. But he hadn't. He'd ran. He'd let fear overtake him.

And then he'd met Hiccup...

Hiccup was the exact image of what Erik had been, both in physical features and in mannerisms. To Ragnar, he was the brother he had lost all over again. That was why Ragnar vowed to not let anything happen to him. He would protect him, whatever the cost. He failed his family, but he would not fail Hiccup.

But maybe he already did.

Hiccup's words rang in Ragnar's head, "I have listened to you. That's the problem!"

Ragnar cringed. He wasn't the tough warrior that he let on to be. He wasn't even brave. He was...afraid.

Not that that mattered now. He had lost the one person he vowed to watch over. Hiccup wanted nothing to do with him, not anymore.

He looked around him, aware of the stillness of the night. The sound of soft footsteps in the distance alerted him out of his thoughts, and he sat up.

"Who's there?" He asked for he was beginning to see the looming form of someone approaching.

A timid voice spoke up. "Ragnar?"

"Yes," he replied, recognizing him at once.

"I...I have something to say." Hiccup inched closer, head hung. "I spoke out of term and I would like to apologize. I...I understand why you don't want me to enter, and I will respect your decision. It was my fault for shouting and I am sorry."

His words rung in the still air. Finally, Ragnar looked up, heart constricting. "No, Hiccup, it's not you at all. It's me."

"Ragnar, I—"

"Look, the only reason I said all those things was because..." He turned away sharply, fearful of admitting aloud, even to himself his true feelings. "I was afraid."

Hiccup stepped closer and Ragnar continued.

"I was afraid of losing you, just like I lost my family." There, he said it. He admitted it to someone for the first time ever. He....

Ragnar slowly bowed his head and buried his face in his hands, allowing himself to break down. As he felt the tears streak down his face, he didn't know whether to embrace this feeling or despise it. At any rate, it was there, and so was Hiccup; the boy who was now kneeling beside him. He felt a hand on his back, comforting him.

The story of his family and village poured out, and afterward, the two boys sat in silence.

"I had no idea, Ragnar. I'm so sorry, I couldn't even imagine..."

Ragnar looked over at him. "You shouldn't have to. No one should have to imagine what happened that day." He cringed inwardly and then was overcome by a wave of anger. "The Drakkaeins will pay for what they did. Even if it's the last thing I do, I assure you, I will find the men that killed my family and destroy them." His icy voice made Hiccup shudder.

"Ragnar, I don't even know what to say. You've lost so much that I don't even feel I have a place to say anything at all. But if I could say just one thing..." He locked eyes with Ragnar. "You've seen what hate can do. You've witnessed it firsthand. Don't let it consume you as it's consumed so many others. For if you do, it will destroy you inside."

Ragnar breathed heavily, not wanting to hear the truth that Hiccup spoke. He knew deep down he was right. But it was so much easier to hold on to the feeling that had kept him alive all these years. He didn't know if he was ready to let go of that. Nevertheless...

"Thank you, Hiccup. You're a fine soldier and a true friend."

A/N: Hello out there to all my fine fanfic friends! It's Narniaqueen1300 here. Sooo, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and got some insight into Ragnar's character! Gotta admit, this was a pretty emotional chapter to write, but I loved every minute of it. Do you have any questions? I would love to hear feedback on what you guys all think! Thank you very much for all of your continued support! You guys are amazing! 

So note to everybody, I am leaving most of the old AN in cause I don't feel like deleting them.