.^^ elf twins ^^

— Josef —

When I appeared again in front of the desk down in the basement, there was a new woman there, while the old man was visible in the slaughterhouse behind the long desk, skinning and butchering a boar the size of a Semi. Four other men were on the other side, sawing through the bones and removing massive racks of pork ribs.

"Oh! Hello! I saw your display yesterday, that was really funny! You told Saccharine she was a shitty Healer!!!" She laughed, slapping the desk.

"His name was- Wait She?" I asked, appalled.

She grinned slowly. "You thought-"

"Nein, Shut your mouth, I will not mention it at all!" I snapped, and rubbed my forehead, still shook a bit that I'd been calling a woman an asshole and a shitty Healer, snapping at her and everything.

Then I realized something, which was that they'd had an Adam's Apple, and spoken with masculine pronouns, in the 'Elven/French' language. I supposed I was going to have to apologize, if it turned out to be my faux-pas, but it was also possible that this person was pulling my leg.

She smiled and slid over a few different things. "Alright, the leather wallet is your Proof you work for the Guild, the silver B represents your rank. The scroll is the deed for the property on top of the arch; plant it in the soil somewhere up there, and it'll grow a Tree, it's a whole crazy little magical proof of ownership. In the wallet is a quartet of Nomadic Merchant, Blacksmith, Huntsman, and Alchemist licenses."

"And I don't need any other licenses?" I asked, to make sure.

"Yes, those will allow you to sell products in any situation, though when you return, your tax still goes to this city, as you own land here, and of course making gold inside the kingdom is still Illegal, I was told to remind you of that. It's a Capital crime, so if you don't want to have your pretty head removed from your incredibly buff shoulders..." She explained casually, still smiling up at me in blatant interest.

"Nice... And are Saccharine and the clerics here, then?" I asked.

"They're up there." She waved vaguely at the upstairs lounge, and then placed a leather tube full of maps on the counter, followed by a thick leather portfolio folder. "And here's your maps and the paperwork that elevates you to LandLord, that's finalized when you stake your claim, and will allow you to return to the property at will, which is nice, if you need to retreat or if you just don't want to walk all the way home."

I raised an eyebrow, pleased and intrigued by that particular opportunity. "Interesting..."

She grinned, setting a massive bag of silver and a much smaller purse of gold on the counted. "Last is your pay for this month, which might prove difficult to carry around. Five gold and 1,000 silver." She nodded.

"Anything else? Licenses, Deed, Identification, Maps, Money, and Lordship?" I sent the bags into my Hidden Space casually, as soon as it was below the desk and beyond her eye-line.

She nodded. "That's all I've got for you, except Luck. Have some." She hopped and kissed my nose, then sat back down, laughing at the perplexed look on my face. "Maybe some more luck when you come home. Now shoo, sweetie."

"huh... Cute." I chuckled, then headed up the stairs.

Lounging in one of the front lounges was the Healer from last night, 'Saccharine,' and two other elves, identical, and wearing simple woolen clothes. Their hair was wildly styled with multiple braids, the sides cut short with Norse Runes shaved in. It seemed that Short Twig and Long Branch were magic languages here.

The 'Identify' Skill told me they were 'active-buff' Runes, which allowed the cleric to be especially deadly to undead enemies, and resistant to undead attacks.

'Skill: Runecraft, D- Rank, discovered.'

'Ooh... very nice...' I chuckled mentally, and looked at them, memorizing their faces. "Hmm. Hello to of you, my apologies if I was late, I arrived at Dawn, and you said we would leave tonight. I am Josef Von Eisenberg, B-Rank in the Guild, it's nice to meet you all formally." I nodded to the elves, waiting for a greeting.

The twin clerics bowed their heads a bit, (only one of them spoke at a time, thankfully.) "We are Varren and Desta, the Clerics hired by Lord Saccharine to assault the Necromancer's Haunt And purify the river."

I nodded. "Good, we'll need something for the continued purification of the river, if you can make something like that. If this Necromancer isn't causing anyone any trouble, we've been instructed to leave him -or her- in peace."

They glanced at Saccharine, who nodded. "We have. But first we might be ascending a Cliff, and planting a Land Claim Tree?" He looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

"No, that can wait until I return. I'll be climbing the cliff with only a few ropes, plus it's not part of the request, so I wouldn't ask for your help. Thank you for offering, it's appreciated, but if we're all here, let's set off while the day gives us some nice weather." I turned the offer down gently.

He nodded. "That is a good reason to say no, I suppose. Where are your weapons? Do you leave them on your saddle? You know that's a dangerous habit, yes?" He narrowed his eyes, almost worried, it seemed.

I drew my sword from the Hidden Space, and shrugged at his widened eyes. "I'm always armed, though I prefer a Bow over a sword. Unfortunately, I haven't found a Bow that didn't snap with just a little bit of my strength, here."

He smiled. "Elves have much the same issue, with our strength. There are ways. Just buy an Elf-Bow, and you'll be fine."

I raised an eyebrow slowly. "I don't buy weapons that I'll use in battle. I make them. Speaking of, any repairs you need done to your equipment, I'll do them for free while you're working with me, so don't be shy. Using the skill Ranks it up, so I'm gaining experience every time you break something."

They looked at each other, and then one of the twins shrugged, reaching into the belt around her(?) waist, removing a broken dagger that glowed softly with magic.

I plucked it out of her hand, and hummed. "Magical Dagger, Hmm? And one of Lord Makanin's, it seems... nice." I activated the skill, Repair SS, and the two pieces of blade connected seamlessly, the Enchantment growing from 'Finding D-' up to a C+, my Enchantment skill rank. I tossed it back gently, and nodded. "Alright, well, let's get on the road."

"We cannot leave until dusk, so as to attract the least attention from the Wolves, which was why I offered to help you claim the territory, to waste a little time." Saccharine shook his head sadly.

I sighed. "I suppose that you would have an understanding of this forest, though the wolves aren't an issue, if you don't let them surround you. Hit them once and they're dead, and with a bow, you'd be fine."

He narrowed his eyes, as if to discern sarcasm in what I'd said. "You realize... that Dire Wolves and Dire Bears have a Nearly-Impenetrable Hide?"

"Do they? Curious. I cut it rather easily, when I made these after killing the original owners with my hands." I touched my jacket, and his eyes widened again.

"Ah... right, with an S Rank Strength Skill and an SS Dismantling Skill, I suppose Anything is possible..." he nodded slowly.

The two clerics sat up straight, staring at him and then me. "SS Dismantling?"

"Mm. Alchemy and Preservation SS, too. Don't worry, we'll have food. But if we can't leave yet, I suppose I'll accept the escort up the mountain. I'll pay you for your time, because it's something of an extraneous request." I nodded to Saccharine.

He smiled. "As you wish. Let us depart, then."

Each of the elves had a beautiful thoroughbred horse waiting for them outside the Guild, though there hadn't been any when I went in, which was weird, but also kind of cool. I jogged in front, keeping a nice swift pace so we made good time. This pace was clearly unexpected, but apparently welcome, as the horses trotted prettily behind me, and we made much better time than the cart did, getting to Under Town.

"Your running pace is very good! Does your stamina allow for longer distances?" Saccharine asked, grinning.

"Running?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He blinked slowly, and then hummed. "Oh... you can go much faster? Why didn't you?"

"Didn't see the need to tire out the horses. It's a short trip anyway." I shrugged, and looked up at the Archway. "I'll climb up the leeward side, away from the salt-winds and trade-winds, I think... if you'd like to come with, I can carry you all, you don't look heavy." I pulled a long coil of metallic cable out of my Hidden Space, (rope wasn't strong enough, and it could be cut,) then tied myself a harness, offering the other end to them.

The twins smiled. "We can climb up the mountain, do not worry about us."

I wrapped the cable around them, staring at them as they stood still uncomfortably. "The entire place is trapped. The dwarf who lived there last Didn't like visitors. Cockiness will only lead to distractions, and if you get yourselves killed because of your arrogance, you will be a bother and an unnecessary weight to the real mission, the undead subjugation. Do you understand?"

They nodded slowly, staring at me with confusion and a little bit of surprise at my repeated eloquence, which they'd written off as an anomaly.

I looked at Saccharine, and began wrapping his harness, only to halt when I realized he did, in fact, have a small yet distinct cleavage, which I had not seen yet, (because I wasn't being a creeper,) as well as there was a clear vacancy in her pants.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I shook my head and finished the harness properly, then stepped back, clearing my throat. "Yes, well, let's be off." I turned on my heel and walked to the mountain of stone. The rock was tougher than the other cliff, but I easily dug a series of handholds in at the height of the elves. "Follow under me, use the handholds I carve, unless you find a better one. Your hands are smaller than mine, so you can make use of ledges that I cannot." I explained, and then started up the mountain, digging handholds as I went, which was the only reason they could keep up with me.

The air started to turn, smelling of salt, and I halted on an instinct. 'Skill: Trap Craftsman has revealed the presence of a spring-Trap. Suggested Action?'

'Disarm, but do not disable.'

I waited five seconds, then reached above myself, and started climbing again. "It seems I can disarm the traps, so as long as I find them, all is well." I called down, and moved around a portion of hollow rocks that contained a bat colony, sleeping because it was still daytime.

The winds started to tug at my jacket and hair, but I ignored it. It wasn't strong enough to pull me off the wall, nor was it cold enough to lock up my joints, so it wasn't an issue. The twin elves were just dangling now, shivering and curled into themselves, which was interesting, but not exactly surprising. The people here were bad with 'cold' temperatures, I'd discovered.

When I reached 500ft, I halted, resting a bit and stretching out everything that was burning, letting Saccharine do the same, then started climbing again when they were rested.

The cliff got much more rugged, the higher we went, with more traps and tricks. It seemed that the lower portion was sanded smooth to dissuade any potential climbers, while the top was focused on getting anyone who could make that climb to fall off, as the advanced height would kill most anyone.

It was at this height that I began setting Pitons every twenty feet, and having the dangling elf twins remove them as they were dragged past.

The top 100ft were bored with thousands of holes, which immediately set off my Trap skill. I focused on clearing a path, disabling the traps for now, as I didn't want a secondary activation trigger setting them off and killing the twins or Saccharine.

—

There were, in fact, secondary and tertiary triggers to those holes, and they didn't do what I thought they'd do, shoot arrows or javelins. Nope. They spat superheated steam, so hot that it actually scalded my skin, exposing a little bit of bone until it was healed by Saccharine. It was actually hot enough that my Heat Resistance, which had been A-, ranked up to S+, because apparently one gained heat resistance by being burnt repeatedly.

None of it made it past me, however, so none of the others got hit, thankfully. They likely would've died instantly and been bleached bone before they hit the ground, which was a scary thought.

—

I peeked up over the edge slowly, scanning for traps or fault lines or anything funky, but I didn't find anything. I took two pitons, placing them on a section of cable at inter posing angles, and tossed it behind a rock, dragging it back until it caught and sank in, as an anchor.

"Alright... let's see what she's got left to kill us with..." I grumbled, and slowly pulled myself up onto the top of the weird arched plateau.

When nothing immediately happened, I pulled them up as well, and walked over to a massive tree, in the center of the plateau. It looked dead, and dead for a long time, but the lack of fungus this high up had stalled its rotting, and the cold had stopped it entirely.

In the center was a hollow full of dirt, and I immediately decided to plant the little seed-deed there, mostly out of curiosity to see what it would do, and partly to help this ancient giant return to the soil, and give new life to a new tree.

The scroll pulsed briefly with magic when I covered it with the dirt, then erupted in a flurry of roots, nearly giving me a heart attack, as it completely devoured the old tree, and grew to the same size as its predecessor instantly.

The branches were thick and strong, (no leaves because it was winter,) and though the hollow in the center remained, it was full, with a single clear crystal, (probably quartz,) formed to the interior.

"Well then... that was not what I expected, but I suppose it could be weirder. Let's get some rest and then head off towards the northern end of the river." I sat against the tree, and grinned when I got an announcement.

'User: Josef has ascended from User Rank: Peasant to User Rank: Lesser Titled, and thus gains Skill: Retreat, Skill: Healing Magic, and Skill: Network. User: Lord Josef, is now capable of teleporting to the Home Location instantly. User: Lord Josef is now capable of using magical Healing Spells, and can use any spell that's incantation is known. If more land is purchased and Claimed, it becomes possible to travel instantly. All skills below F+ will now be raised to Rank F... no skills below F+ found. Tangential Assertion: All Skills below Rank D+ will be raised to Rank D. Five Skills found. Rank Raised. As the Wisdom God's Messenger, I May Answer one question of User: Lord Josef's selection.' The voice suddenly sounded less robotic, and more personable

I blinked slowly, and asked the question that I had wanted answered since I woke up. 'Why was I brought here?'

'Searching... not found. Requesting information from Higher Source... Rejected. Using Great Question Clearance... accepted. Answer Found. Subject: Project; Burden the Souls of Heroes. 'Project: Burden', in shorthand, was introduced approximately 24,000 seasons prior to now to combat the encroachment of the Minions of the Dark God's. After their absolutely crushing defeat, the project was deemed too successful to halt operations. While Further Details pertaining to Project: Burden are absolutely classified, the protection of the Clearance and Directive 'The Great Question', answers have been judged to be ready to be dispensed. Question: does User; Lord Josef Truly wish The Answer to The Great Question?'

'Lay it on me.' I reeled slightly from the amount of information, but I wanted it all.

'Answer: When Heroes die, the God of Wisdom and the God of Heroes collect them, bring them here, to this world, or a number of other worlds they also manage, all in order to maintain either a semblance or actuality of balance. Also they cannot interfere with this world directly, so instead they do so through us, the messengers, and through you, the Dead Heroes.'

'There are others, then?'

'There are approximately 3,000 Dead Heroes in this world. Few are from your time, or your country, or even from your world. The cycle is not exclusive to your realm, and you are sent where you are needed, every time you die, until your soul rots and corrupts because of the passage of time and the anger and continued presence of violence in your life, and it is claimed by the Dark Gods, leading to your eventual permanent death.'

'Ouch.'

'Therefore, Short Answer: The Gods are playing a Game; a deadly, ancient game that determines the very fate of the universe, and you are a Pawn in this, a game so vast and cosmically powerful that attempting to comprehend it would melt your brain matter into slush.'

'That sounds like an excuse to not answer me.' I frowned.

'Secondary Short Answer requested and immediately dispensed: You, User: Lord Josef, are a Good Man, and the Good Gods want to use you to kill Evil Things.' The voice almost huffed in annoyance, giving me the layman's terms.

I chuckled softly. 'I suppose that's as good a reason as any. Thank you for answering my questions. And thank you for assisting me with my Skills. I appreciate your effort.'

'User: Lord Josef has gained Status Effect 'Favored by the Messenger!'