hello, she lives. so...i seem to be having bad anger problems lately? i get angry and upset very easily and i don't know what's happened. i'm very calm when it comes to things i'm used to like taking care of my brother, but my anger levels rise really easily when certain things happen. i'm very good at looking like i'm keeping my cool. i'm sick of this feeling of anger and dread and it's always making me want to explode. i'm scratching up my neck and my scalp, it's making me break out and i'm this close to hitting something just to get out even the littlest piece of anger.

my ability to maintain being bullshitted is running very low, too. it was like it was a burning match, okay until it gets to the very end and begins to burn my fingers. i'm running out of patience and i feel like such a terrible person, no matter the amount of reassurance i get it always feels like it's my fault i feel this way. i wish i was calm, collected and cool, but i'm just not. it's not fair! i can't withstand this anymore, it's not fair. i don't like this.