Alex Pov
I sat on my bed, staring at the ceiling. It hurts to breathe. It hurts so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm used to being hurt but this just..
hurts.

I gave my cigs to Ed because I don't need even more difficultly breathing so I found that to be somewhat of a solution..
until the addiction to them started kicking in.
And it felt like I needed them.

I could barely walk with out stumbling and I couldn't really eat either. It's not that I'm like pushing good away from myself or making myself throw up,
I just don't have an appetite.

I've also lost a lot of weight recently and I think that's from missing out on the appetite.

It ain't like Ed and Tom are gonna realize though. See, my relationship with my family is complicated and that's not even including my biological family.

With Ed and Tom, it's pretty much every man for himself. You dont feed yourself, ain't the other mans problem. You self harm, the other guy will hardly spare you a glance.

Unless you're Ed and think self harm is super funny for some fucked up reason.

I guess Ed talks to me sometimes but mostly it's teasing and pinning me down. But it's all in good nature I suppose. Brotherly love if you will.

I groaned, grabbing my head. I really want to smoke. I heard Ed talking to someone in the living room.
Yuck.

I really hate the sound of his voice..
..in a loving self esteem kind of way you know?

"Alex! I got someone I'se like you to meet!" Ed called.

I sat up, trying to calm the wheeze I had. I came out of my room slowly, leaning on the wall.

"...you good brother? You seem..pale. More than usual." Ed said.

"Fuck off," I muttered, looking at the girl to his left.

"You fuckin' her?"
I asked.

He let out a nervous laugh and shifted his weight. The girl glared at me.

"I'm Eleanora."
She told me.

"Well isn't that just great.
I'm Alex. Eddie, you picked a hot one," I said, walking back into my room.

"She's my girlfriend Hamilshit!"
He exclaimed.

I stopped and leaned on my doorframe. "I was just noting it. No need to get..how you get." I said.

"Fuck you Al."
He muttered.

"I thought you were fuckin her," I said thoughtfully.

He narrowed his eyes.
"What happened to bein' a gentlemen?" Ed hissed.

I shrugged.
"You're very pretty," I told Eleanora.

"..Thanks."
She said.

I tipped an imaginary hat and went back to my room.

"Wait. Aren't you gay Alex?!"
Ed called. I snickered, closing my door. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't spot a pretty girl.

The second my door was closed, I coughed violently into my arm, feeling tears prick at my eyes.

"F-fuck," I hissed, stumbling to my bed and collapsing.

I really need to see a doctor.

I felt the sudden urge to throw up and my gag reflex. I practically sprinted to the bathroom, my chest burning.

I didn't even bother closing the door as I threw up blood.

"Alex! Close the damn door if you're gonna fuckin' throw up!" Ed exclaimed, walking to the bathroom.

He went to close the door and I can only imagine that he saw blood coming from his mouth.

"Shit, I'll go get Tom. Eleanora,
Uh..I suggest you go."
He said, going to get Tom.

"Is it serious?"
She asked.

"Well if you count hurling blood serious, then yes." He replied.

I coughed a bit, wiping my eyes and panting heavily. I pushed myself away from the toilet, sitting against the wall.

"Maybe I can help," I heard her say, then hearing her footsteps come down the hall. I felt a bead of sweat stream down my face.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asked softly, coming into the bathroom and kneeling beside me.

"H-hurts,"
I choked, wheezing a bit.

She rubbed my shoulder and looked back to the door where Ed and Tom stood.

"Do we need to go to the emergency room?" Tom asked in a deadpanned voice.

I waved a hand, dismissing him.

"I-I'm fi- actually. N- Not gonna lie, I'm in a lot of pain," I said, my chest tightening.

"Alrighty then. Ed grab the keys we're takin a field trip." Tom said, walking away.

Eleanora helped me to my feet and helped me out of the apartment.

~•~•~•~

I sat on the real uncomfortable chair in the ER patient room. I zoned off as the doctor looked me over, doing a basic checkup.

He said something to Tom, but again, I had zoned out.

I'm really fucking tired.

I started to slowly fall asleep when Ed very rudely interrupted me and said, "Alex. You have to have a CT scan."

"A what?"
I asked, shifting a bit.

CT scan sounds way too close to MRI scan.

"It's basically a CAT scan. You'll need to have it done so we can look at your lungs." He said.

"..why?" I asked.

The doctor sighed, a grim look on his face.

"Alex, there's a very high chance you have lung cancer."