Prepare yourself for le gay.

John Pov
After school I looked for Alex by the gate but didn't find him. Which I thought was odd especially since for the past few weeks we've been meeting there and then going to the parking lot to have a cigarette.

Then I did see him.
Talking to Angelica.

He took out a cig and she took it of his hand and threw it into the parking lot.
I would never do that.

But he smiled.
And so did she.

I furrowed my eyebrows and clutched my backpack. Then he fucking handed her his coat, which she put on and then kissed him on the cheek.

What the fuck.
What the fuck.
No.
No.
What the fuck.

And then guess what he did.
He fucking smiled.
Okay.

So she took his coat, basically his comfort zone and went YEET!
And put it on, then she kissed him and he smiled. What.

No.
I-I..no.

She walked away and the second she did, Alex's face dropped and he tried to cover up his arms. He wiped his face and practically sprinted to his motorcycle.

Oh so...
what the fuck?

I stood there for a second and then ran as fast as I could to find him. I found him pretty quickly considering he usually parks in the same place.

He was on his motorcycle, a cigarette in his mouth, staring at the handlebars.

"Hey Alex, you alright?"
I asked.

He looked up and muttered,
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

Just gonna say it, the octave of his voice was a bit higher than usual.

He cleared his throat, and rubbed his head. "Want one?" He asked.

I nodded, gladly taking a cig from him. "So..where's your coat?" I asked, knowing full where it was.

"I uh...gave it to some girl."
He said, shrugging.

"Now why would you go off and do that?" I asked, sighing.

"Cuz I'm.."
He paused and took a drag of his cig.

"Jee, who am I kiddin'."
He muttered.

"I'm lost.."
I said, raising an eyebrow.

"You know..after I did that thing with you..the whole kissing you on your bedroom floor, I uh..beat myself up for it." He said, sighing.

I fucking knew he would.

"You know what, long story short my mind scrabbled and now I'm tryin' to get with Angelica Schuyler." He said.

"..So you're gay..and you're trying to be straight..because why?" I asked.

"Self validation I guess." He shrugged.

"For fucks sake Alex you don't need to change who you are to prove..whatever the hell you're trying to prove." I said.

He glanced back up to me and sighed. "You say that a like it's easy."
He muttered.

"Wanna come to my apartment?"
He asked.

"Of course," I replied, getting on the back of his motorcycle.

~•~•~•~

I sat on the couch cheering Ed on as he pinned down Alex.

I had lent him my jacket again.
Not sure what he did with my other one, but I didn't question it.

"Say uncle bitch!"
Ed shot.

"Never!"
Alex spat.

"Do it!"
I exclaimed.

"Really John?! Support me!"
He cried, trying to push Ed off.

"Boys, calm down would you? We have neighbors." Tom said, walking out of his room.

Toms relationship with his sons confuse me greatly but I don't question it.

"So? They know we fight."
Ed said, taking out his switchblade.

Do all of them have fuckin' knives on them?

"Son, you know the rule about switchblades in the house."
Tom warned.

Ed groaned and toppled off Alex, putting his knife away.

"You let Alex do it."
Ed muttered.

"Yeah and look at him. He can't for shit." Tom replied.

"Hey! I fight better than you do."
Alex snapped.

"That's because I'm old."
Tom said, giving a chuckle.

Alex rolled his eyes and plopped down on the couch next to me.

"You know Ed, go easy on my wrists next time. Got em hurtin' real bad again." Alex said.

"What, you self harm again?"
Ed asked mockingly.

"Ay! Cool it,"
Tom warned from the kitchen.

"No I didn't you fuckin asshole.
You gotta remember-"

"That you're fragile? And I might her your feelings?" Ed teased, snaking off to his room.

"No! That I'm your brother for Christ's sake." Alex said, dropping to a mutter as Ed shut his door.

I nudged him.
"Brotherly love, am I right?" I asked.

Alex rolled his eyes, pushing my shoulder.

I waited till Tom went to his room to ask, "So..your dad let's y'all carry knives?"

"Adoptive dad, and yeah. We did this 'training' or whatever the fuck he called it so we learned self defense. To be honest, I hardly use it for self defense and more for trying to fuck with Ed. But Ed's older and he always wins."
He said.

"Y'all are like the  family in Supernatural season one just without the..creatures I guess." I said.

He shrugged.
"I guess."

"Another thing," I said, inching my hand closer to his.

He didn't seem to notice.

"Yeah?"
Alex asked.

"Just gonna say it now..
you look good without the jacket."
He smiled, his face softening.

That lasted for a second before he cleared his throat and muttered, "Thanks."

"You know, you don't have to be all dark and brooding all the time. Just..be you I guess." I said.

He raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah fuck off." He said.

"I'm just saying." I shrugged, moving my hand onto of his. I looked at him for some kind of reaction but he just averted his eyes and slowly moved closer to me.

In you FUCKIN FACE ANGELICA!
HAH!

He's here!
He's queer!
And y'all are gonna leave him the fuck alone or else I'm gonna take his switchblade and stab you with it!

He moved his hand around and intertwined our fingers.

I don't care if gays get sent to hell.
It's like..
oh no..
what will I ever do in hell..
surrounded by..
other homosexuals..
darn.

And besides, I know that if I do end up going to hell, I know it's not for being gay. I know it's just because I'm a real asshole a lot of the time.

I mean, I skipped hanging out with my friends to vape with Alex. I just enjoy his company much more than I would than anyone else.

"Hey John?"
He asked.

"Yeah?" I hummed.

"You want to..
uh..
go on a date sometime?"
He asked.

"Fine by me."