Buffy's POV

God this is hard.

I take a deep breath as I sit next to Faith in the rehab center of the hospital, waiting for Anya and Xander.

It's not quite as hard as it was a couple weeks ago after my mom's funeral, but I'm dealing. Those first few days, it was horrible. Just getting through the next minute knowing my family is gone, was so hard I wanted to cry all the time. But it doesn't hurt quite so bad anymore. I can actually get through a day without falling apart and crying 6 or 7 times. It's down to like one or two times a day now. I almost feel halfway normal.

I glance at Faith briefly and she catches me.

"Everything all right B?"

I attempt to smile at her, failing like I have so many times over the past couple of weeks.

"Yeah, I think so."

I go back to waiting for Xander and the doctors to bring Anya down for rehab, and so does she.

Faith has been such a big help to me over the past few weeks. If I needed to talk, she was there. If I needed to cry, she was there. If I just needed to do something other than sit at home and veg, we went out and did stuff. She really has been an incredible friend. I feel like I can confide in her about anything, the way I used to with Willow. And the same goes for Faith. About a week ago I told her that if she ever wants to talk about what she's thinking or feeling or whatever, I wanna try and give a little back.

After all, she got Giles to convince The Council to give me enough money to live off of until I can figure out what I wanna do with my life, cause honestly, right now I can't even think about the rest of my life. It's too hard to even think about life without my mom and Dawn here with me. All I want right now is to be here for Anya and Xander while Anya has her first walking rehab session. Xander said the doctors were so impressed with how her rehab was going that they wanted her to start learning to walk again today. So that's why we're here, to be here for Anya and support her. If they ever get here that is.

I look over at Faith.

"Xander said 3 o'clock didn't he?"

She glances at the clock on the wall.

"Yeah he did. They must be late."

I get up to find out.

"I'm gonna go see if they moved it or rescheduled it or something."

"All right..."

I make my way to the automatic doors that lead to the rest of the hospital, only to be stopped by the sight of Xander wheeling Anya this way. The automatic doors slide open at my presence and Xander, Anya, and two doctors cross the distance to walk through. I move out of the way as they come into the rehab center. Xander smiles at me as he passes.

"Hey there, thanks Buffy."

"No problem, just call me Buffy the Door Opener."

Anya decides to speak up as the doctors make their way over to the reception center to check Anya in.

"Of course... you're saving the world from the terror of automatic doors that open on their own, much better than stopping the apocalypse."

Xander and I exchange a knowing look. Faith comes up to join the conversation.

"Hey Anya, how's it going?"

Anya looks up at Faith.

"I'm fine, except for not being able to walk."

Xander leans down from behind her wheelchair.

"Well, hopefully that will all start to change as of today."

"It better, this whole not walking thing is overrated. Sure I get waited on hand and foot even though I can't really feel my feet that well, but Giles won't let me handle the money at the magic box until I get better."

Of course...

"You mean work there honey."

Anya turns her head to look up at her boyfriend.

"No I meant handling the money."

After a brief moment Xander smiles at his ex-vengeance demon and they kiss.

It's kind of romantic.

The rehab doctors come back over to us.

"We can begin any time you like."

"Good..."

Anya grabs the armrests of her wheelchair and tries to stand up. Xander puts his hands on her shoulders to stop her.

"Whoa, hold on there shnookums, we have to do this by the book. Let's go over to the parallel bars and get started."

Anya settles back down in her seat and huffs in frustration.

"Fine..."

Xander smiles at both Faith and I. The rehab doctors move out of Anya's way and Xander wheels her over to the training bars. Faith looks over at me and we exchange glances. I decide to tempt fate.

"You can do this Anya."

She looks at me as she's about to stand and start her rehabilitation.

"Of course I can do it. It's just walking. I used to do it all the time."

I knew I shouldn't have said anything.

"Maybe we should just sit down and watch B."

Probably a good call.

I walk back over to the couch we were sitting on and sit down, Faith joins me. We watch as Anya slowly gets up from her wheelchair and begins learning to walk again.

I guess we're all trying to remember how to walk in one way or another. Anya's doing it literally and Xander's doing his best to help, while the rest of us are doing it figuratively. I'm trying everything I can to walk through life without my mom to guide me or my family to turn to when things get rough. I need to find my footing in the world somehow and get myself back on track. It's hard, and I hate it, but I know I have to. It's what my mom and Dawn would want... and it's what I want.

Faith and I are trying our best to figure out a way to fit into each other's lives again. Trying to find a way to build something different out of what we used to have. We may have been spending a lot of time together but it's still a little unsettling being around her. Seeing the face of the woman who was once the love of my life, the face of the one I would've given my life for, the one I did give my life for once upon a time, and worst of all the woman who killed my sister and daughter in a single move. It's hard to look at her some times. It's hard knowing that when she's been so great to me through everything that's happened. I'm dealing with it though... for Dawn's sake. Dawn would've wanted it that way. Our daughter would've wanted it that way. She would've wanted us to be happy in whatever way that means. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that she loved us, and we loved her just the same. She meant the world to both of us and that much will never change.

I hope everything goes okay when we're out patrolling together tonight. It's my first patrol since my mom died. I'm not sure I'll be able to focus enough to do much but I have to do something other than sit around. I've been doing that too much the past couple days and I need to get out and do something different.

I sit back and watch as Anya makes her way past the halfway mark of the parallel bars.

Things are going to be okay I think, no matter how hard it might be.