Buffy's POV

This is bad. This is so very, very bad. Why isn't the doctor here yet? I've been trying like hell to do like my mom asked for the past few days. Avoiding people like the plague after that first night at The Bronze. And then I get a call from the doctor last night, asking me to come in this morning for the results of my mom's tests.

"He should be here by now."

"I'm sure the doctor is just running a little late honey. He must have many different patients to take care of."

I look down at my watch and then at Mom.

"He said 9 though, it's 9:15. When doctors are late they usually have bad news."

"Buffy, you have to calm down. Doctor Gray will be here when he can, and for all we know he'll be telling us how we can improve my treatment."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous."

She just smiles sympathetically at me. Just then the doctor knocks on the door on his way in.

"Good morning ladies, how are you both?"

He's being too nice, we're getting bad news I just know it.

I watch him as he goes around my mom's hospital bed so he can speak to both of us.

"I'm feeling pretty good this morning doctor thank you."

"That's definitely good to hear. And you Buffy?"

I look away from them both.

"I'm okay... I guess..."

They don't say anything for a few moments.

"I'm glad. Did you have a nice couple of days while your mother was here with us?"

My eyes meet Doctor Gray's.

"You mean did I enjoy myself while my mom was sick in the hospital?"

"Yes, well, I have news as you're already aware..."

"Good or bad?"

"Buffy let the man speak."

"It's all right. We may have isolated the problem."

They did?

I look at my mom and feel myself smile with hope before turning to him.

"What is it?"

"We believe it may be related to the injury you sustained some months ago."

Injury? Oh...

"You mean when my mom broke her rib?"

"Yes, when it punctured her left ventricle artery it caused internal bleeding. Thankfully you happened to be in the hospital at the time and we were able to repair it before things got too severe."

"But if you repaired the damage then how does it affect my current condition?"

"We don't believe the wound has healed properly. Due in large part to your pre-existing heart condition. Coronary artery disease reduces the distribution of oxygen and nutrients into the blood stream, which a wound requires in order to heal properly."

Oh god...

"So what does that mean? Is she? Is my mother, gonna...?"

I can't even say it.

I just let my head drop into my hands.

"No, we will do everything in our power to help her. There are a number of different treatments we can try, and there's always surgery as a last resort."

Last resort?

Mom asks the question I was about to ask.

"Why is it a last resort?"

"Given your weakened condition I'm hesitant to attempt surgery but it is an option if the others don't work."

Oh...

"What kind of treatment?"

"Mostly variations on the current drugs you've been taking, designed to increase the blood flow and the nutrients in it. I'm hoping that through the right combination we can help you heal a little better."

But...

"What if it doesn't work?"

There's an eerie silence in the room and I know what the answer to my question is.

"I see..."

"But there's no reason to believe it won't work, is there doctor?"

"Quite right Joyce, you've been responding well to the medicine so far. It may simply be a matter of increasing the dosage."

"But it might not."

My mom and Doctor Gray look at me.

"Buffy, sweetheart..."

My mom, is gonna... God I can't deal with this.

"I, I need... something..."

I get up and move away from my mom as she tries to reach out to me.

"Something, to eat or um... something to drink, I think... maybe..."

"Well I could have one of the attendants bring you something if you like."

"No I'll, I'll get it myself... but thanks... I'll be back in a m-minute Mom."

"Okay..."

I turn and start out to the door. I barely hear my mom as I leave.

"I need to make a call."

Faith's POV

I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm not sure how to feel about what Lorne said the other day. On the one hand he said bad things were coming without actually saying so, and on the other he said I'd be able to deal with the badness and get through it. I don't know whether to worry about what the badness might be or just accept that no matter what it is I'll be okay.

I readjust my position on the couch in the lobby.

I think what bothers me the most is that he didn't say anything about the people I care about. He didn't say anything about Xander or Anya or Giles, or worst of all Buffy. All he said was that I'd be hearing from Joyce soon, and I'm not even sure what he meant by that. Hear from her how? Why? She must hate me worse than Buffy does. Dawn was her daughter a lot longer than she was ours. And worse than that this is the second time she's had to go through losing a daughter. I might feel horrible that Dawn is dead, but what Joyce feels must feel like 100 times more than what I do.

I sit up on the couch and stare at the floor.

I don't see why Joyce would ever call me for anything.

Cordy picks up the phone as I'm about to lie back down.

"Faith?"

I look to Cordy and she holds the phone receiver out to me.

"It's for you..."

For me?

"It's Joyce."

Joyce?

Angel and I look at each other.

"You can take it in my office."

What the hell am I gonna say?

I get up and head towards Angel's office.

"Thanks..."

"She's on line 3."

I smile at Cordy.

"Thanks Cor..."

I go into Angel's office and I suddenly have no idea what to do.

I know I have to answer the phone but I have no idea what's gonna happen when I do. Why would she need to talk to me? Is she all right? Is Buffy all right? Joyce means so much to me. She's the only one who's ever acted like a mother to me, and I killed her youngest daughter. I haven't spoken to her since it happened and I have no idea how she's gonna react when we speak. I guess there's only one way to find out.

I pick up the phone and press the button to use line three. I put the receiver to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello Faith..."

Well this is going well.

"Um, hi..."

There's a little pause of silence.

"How are you?"

How am I? She's asking how I am?

"Uh, okay, I guess... are you okay?"

She takes a deep breath.

"I'm okay, considering the circumstances. But then the circumstances aren't that great so I guess I'm not doing that good."

"Oh..."

I really don't know what to say to that.

"So, you called?"

"Yes, I did. I need to ask you something. But it's not something I want to do over the phone. I need to speak to you face to face for this."

Oh...

"Why?"