Author: ellinoom

Here come my reviews about your story. 🌼

Title
The word valoure in your title refers to the school, Supreme Valoure Academy, or to the word valour? 'Valour', which means having bravery or courage, does it refer to that sense? Like referring to the great valour of Zavian when he decided to have courage and stop being cowardly and weak? If so, then your title is good for that. It is perfectly suitable for the story after only reading the first five chapters.

Cover
The ambience of your cover gives me more of a fantasy feel rather than action. It was listed in your form that the genre of your book is action, however the cover doesn't really fit that description. The fonts you used and the cover's design both scream fantasy. Is your genre primarily action or does it also include some fantasy?

Story Description
Your blurb is concise and very comprehensive. I agree that it can ignite your reader’s curiosity about the story, just like it did for me. So, good job for that. And also, there are some punctuation marks that seem unnecessary in your paragraph and some writing issues.

In "the Supreme Valoure Academy: a school where students...," a colon is unnecessary; you can use a comma instead. Also, in this part, ‘humans who possess superpowers, also known as, evil conjurers," you can remove the comma after the ‘as," as it is not actually needed in the sentence. Just ‘also known as evil conjurers’ is already good. Another one, ‘As time passes by, he discovers an ability..." you can remove the ‘by’ because the word ‘as time passes,..." is already comprehensible.

Aside from that, your blurb is already good. Kudos to you.

Plot
You totally nailed this part. It’s giving me the feeling of a ghibli anime. Whilst reading the first five chapters I was being brought by to another dimension. Reading the novel you wrote and how you narrate it feels really good. I’m deeply amazed for your writing skills even though English is not your native language because you seem really fluent in it. The accuracy of your words in describing the scenes in your story was totally amazing. The flow of your plot is very consistent and the pacing is good. It is not that fast and not that slow so good job for that. Also, your choice of words is actually good. I can see that you have a wide range of vocabulary seeing that you used lots of descriptive words in your story. It is a good thing actually to maintain the balance of vagueness and vividness of your story.

Characters
I love the shifting of the expected personalities and attitudes of women and men in your characters. I mean, it is mostly expected that women are more fragile than men and are to be protected, but in your characters, it was the other way around, which is very interesting.

Actually, I love Zavian's character because he’s not that dumb and stupid, even though he gets bullied every time. He is using his brain, which is a good characteristic for a main lead. Especially in the part where his report was being taken and the one who took it was regarded as a cheater, it is so satisfying to read. I was smiling the whole time reading that chapter because it’s a good part.

Olesia, on the other hand, was a girl with a brave heart. Being raised in an orphanage and experiencing the hardness of life at such a young age, she grew strong and brave. I understand why she rejected Zavian; it is a good way for him to improve and change.

Technicalities
You don’t have any major technical errors in your story so far. Some minor mistakes can be fixed after you finish your story.

Suggestions
I suggest you add a prologue to your story. I find it necessary when writing a novel because it can be a good start before the main event happens in your story. It can also pique the interest of your readers to actually continue the story up to the end since it contains some important background information about the events that will take place in your story. Also, I notice that some em dashes in your story are "—" like this, not "--" like this one. I hope it can be corrected somehow since we have three dashes with different functions and different lengths. But the decision is still yours to change anything; these are only my own suggestions.

Advice
Continue your passion in the writing industry. I can see a lot of potential in you. Maybe you can be a published author someday with that skill of yours. Enjoy your passion to the fullest. Bless your career in writing.

I hope this critique of mine helps you a lot. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to read your wonderful work. 😊🌼