Author: reklamadorangvij

Here come my reviews about your story. 🌼

Title:
Your title really hooked me into reading your story. It was nice and mysterious. Mapapatanong ka talaga kung bakit ‘yan ang naging pamagat ng libro mo. Nang mabasa ko ang unang limang kabanata mo nararamdaman kong sa lahat ng tawa at saya nila may kaakibat na lungkot at problema sa mga susunod mo pang kabanata. And maybe that will be the time when the connection between your title and the story will come.

Cover:
You completely nailed this. It's very adorable and fluffy-looking. I really enjoy your cover.

Story Description:
It is short yet concise. It sounds too admiring, and reading it feels so cute. The ambiance of your description was not that hard, and it will really get you curious about the flow of the story. There are a few technical issues in your descriptions, but if you learned about the different functions of our punctuation marks, it would be easy to fix them.

Plot:
Again, you totally nailed this part. It reminds me of the time when the story ‘She’s Dating The Gangster was famous. ‘Yong mga panahong uso pa ang mga gangs, mafias, bullies, etc. sa isang kwento. Habang binabasa ko ‘yong libro mo napapangiti ako kasi buhay na buhay ‘yong kwento mo. Pasok na pasok talaga sa lahat ng edad ‘yong kwento mo. The flow of the plot was consistent from the beginning up to chapter 5 that I read. Walang tapon lahat ng kabanata mo, kaya kudos sayo. Hindi ko na papahabain pa ang review ko sa bandang ito, kasi wala talaga akong masyadong masabi sa plot mo. You’ve written your plot so well.

Characters:
Here, I will only give comments on Bliss and TJ.

Bliss, siya ‘yong tipong masaya lang sa labas na anyo pero sa kaloob-looban niya wasak na wasak siya. It hurts a little bit reading her p.o.v. Ramdam na ramdam mo ‘yong bawat emosyons niya bawat kabanata. It hurts seeing Bliss try her best to go on despite her life being that sad. I do love her character so much, and I want to know more about her in the story.

TJ, on the other hand, is a ray of sunshine in your first five chapters. Napaka-bubbly niya at palabiro talaga masyado. He looks comfortable being in the circle of Bliss's friends. Isa sa mga bagay na gusto ko sa kwento mo ay ang friendship nila, which is a good thing in your story.

These two really reminds me of Athena and Kenji in 'She's Dating The Gangster'.

I love all the characters in your story. Kahit na limang kabanata pa lang ang nababasa ko ramdam na ramdam ko ang bawat karakters mo kaya kudos sayo ulit.

Technicalities:
Actually, you don’t have that much of technical errors and mistakes in your story.

Napansin ko naman na alam mo na ang kaibahan ng ‘ng at nang’, ‘rin at din’, ‘raw at daw’,  at ‘rito at dito’. Kaya wala tayong masyadong problema kasi alam mo na ang kaibahan ng mga iyan.

Aside from that, may mga errors ka lang sa usage of punctuation marks na pwede mo namang aralin.

Suggestions:
I suggest you read about the different kinds of punctuation marks we have and their functions. Learning more about them can make it easier for you to spot and correct some of your technical errors and mistakes.

Advice:
Continue your passion for writing. I see a lot of potential in you as a writer. Your book will receive the recognition and attention it deserves in the near future. Your book has the potential to be published. Looking forward to that moment. Bless your endeavors in this field.

I hope this critique of mine helps you a lot. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to read your wonderful work. 😊🌼