Zombie Outbreak: Rise of the Undead
Author: Nixzelle_03

Here comes my insights about your story. 😺😺

Title - Very common, not unique and not rare but for me it's enough to be the title of your story. Tumpak na tumpak sa main content ng kwento mo kaya hindi mo na kailangang baguhin pa iyan.

Cover - We need to fix this. Your cover doesn't attract more readers. So low quality and very not suitable to the title and to your content. The background and the font of your cover doesn't suit each other. Hindi maayos ang pagkakagawa ng cover mo at hindi nababagay sa kwento mo ito. If I will rate your cover 1-10? I will rate it 2.

Blurb - Sobrang ikli ng blurb mo. I suggest dagdagan mo pa siya at ilagay mo doon ang kunting details ng kwento mo na maaring makahakot pa ng mga readers. Alam ko namang kaya mo 'yon sapagkat ikaw ang writer ng kwentong ito.

Plot - Nice plot. Very impressive. I like your idea and it is really good. Lalo na at connected ito masyado sa nangyayari ngayon sa mundo. Ang pandemic outbreak ng covid19. Masyado lang siyang exaggerated pero gustong-gusto ko ang plot. Ipagpatuloy mo sana ito at wag kang tumigil magsulat. May kunting plot holes ka lamang dahil hindi masyadong detailed 'yong kwento mo plus mahilig ka pang magpapalit-palit ng P.O.V's.

Switching P.O.V- Since madami kang characters masyadong nakaka-distract 'yong papalit-palit mo ng p.o.v sa isang chapter. Mostly, kapag gusto mong magpapalit-palit ng p.o.v ang technic diyan ay kada isang chapter iba't ibang p.o.v ang gagawin mo. Pero okay naman kung iyan talaga ang style mo gaya ng ginagawa ni maxinejiji one of our famous writer here in wattpad.

Characters Improvement - Napansin kong masyado kang maraming characters at alam kung mahirap ito para sayo dahil hindi madali ang gumawa ng iba't ibang characteristics ng mga characters mo para lang ma-differentiate sila ng mga readers mo. So far I don't see much improvement to your characters. Minsan napagkakamalan ko silang iisa lahat. Hindi ko rin ma-differentiate 'yong mga characters mo. You really need to take action in fixing these problems if you have time.

Technicalities - I can see that you are still confused in using "rin/din" and "raw/daw". Honestly it is easy to use them. Just use "rin/raw" if the first word before that ends with vowels and use "din/daw" if the first word before that ends with consonants. You see, it's easy.

- Second, you still don't know what is action tag and dialogue tag you are much confused in this one. So I suggest you search and learn about it in google. Para maging mas maayos pa ang pagsusulat mo.

- Also, you don't need to put dash (-) at the end of your dialogue. It is not really necessary but if you feel comfortable with it. I respect your decision.

Vividness vs. Vagueness - Another term for show and tell. It's not balance. Your show and tell were not balance and it should be. Lalo na at masyadong intense 'yong kwento mo. Kailangan detailed siya para ramdam at nakikita ng mga readers at bawat eksena sa kwento mo. Kailangan mong dalhin 'yong mga readers mo sa mundo ng kwento mo. You can do it if you balance well your show and tell plus a mental images will be created to their minds and that's plus points for you. If you've done that well. But let me tell you now that it's not easy because you need to learn it and do it properly.

Connection to the Genre - Very suitable to your chosen genre. General Fiction na ito kasi sobrang daming genre na pwede mong paglagyan nito. Science Fiction is visible in the story, action is also visible, mystery and adventure is also there. Kaya wala tayong problema dito.

Writing Skills - Need more improvement. Masyadong kulang pa ang writing skills mo. Hindi pa gaanong malinis ang pagkakasulat mo. Marami ka pang mga errors and mistakes. But aside from that your writing skills was nice.

I give you 93.4/100%

So this is the end of my insights about your story.

Suggestions - Change the cover if possible. Decide whether you will continue to switch p.o.v in one chapter or use 3rd person p.o.v instead. Fix your errors and mistakes if ever you will finish the story.

My advice - Don't take seriously I said. Just like I said before that whatever I said here is clearly my own opinion. You have your own decision and I respect it. Kung ayaw mong sundin 'yong sinabi ko wala akong magagawa. This is your story. You know it more than I do. I'm just here giving some words to open your mind to see what your weaknesses are and what strength you have. As usual keep writing and don't stop until you can't write anymore. It's your passion so continue it. God bless you always.

I hope this critique of mine help you a lot. If you still want my insights about your story you can come back here anytime. ❤❤