This Little Strange Thing
Author: fuchsiablack

Here comes my insights about your story. 🐱🐱

Title - I love you're title. Simple but mysterious. Unang-una hindi ko pa alam anong strange thing 'yong pinapahiwatig 'nong title mo, but then later on I get the meaning of it. Hindi mo na kailangan palitan 'yong title mo kasi 'yong content at main theme ng kwento mo ay nasa title mo na mismo.

Blurb - Short but eye-catchy. Pagbasa ko pa lang nong blurb mo nakuha mo na agad 'yong atensyon ko. Mostly, sa blurb talaga nakukuha 'yong mga readers. A blurb is a description or a synopsis of your story and you have a nice blurb indeed.

Plot - Nice plot you got there. Talagang maganda ang daloy ng kwento mo. No plot holes and that's good and each chapter were improving along the flow of the story. Hindi rin nawawala 'yong content ng kwento mo at 'yong main theme nito. It is very suited to our young readers. Even I am, I can feel some butterflies in my stomach while reading your story. It is very interesting especially you got some two hot boys getting involve in the life of your female protagonist letting her feel that little strange thing.

Cover - The cover is so simple, very simple. For me it's not attractive enough to lure some readers into reading your story. I know book cover is not really that important to some writers but honestly book cover is a big asset. Kapag maganda 'yong cover mo makakaakit ka agad ng mga readers pero kung hindi kunti lang ang mga readers na magbabasa ng kwento mo. I'm not suggesting that you should change it right away. Okay naman 'yong cover mo. It's just not attractive enough to hook some readers for me, in my opinion only.

Descriptive Words - Nice one. Andami mong descriptive words in English. Isa 'yon sa mga asset na nagpapaganda ng mga sentences and paragraphs mo kaya good job for you.

Dialogues - Another good job. Maganda 'yong pag-construct mo ng mga dialogues, mga conversation between your characters. At isa pa bihasa ka na sa dialogue tag and action tag. Minsan isa 'yan sa mga nahihirapang gawin ng mga aspiring writers natin. But for you, you seems good at it.

Characters - Magaling kang gumawa nang characterization ng mga characters mo. Makikilala talaga sila kahit na hindi sabihin sa kwento kung sino 'yong nagsasalita. They have different tones also and that's good. Another thing, for me it's not suited for your female protagonist to speak in English because she's not rich. Kahit matalino siya hindi pa rin realistic tingnan kapag nagsasalita siya ng English kahit may kaya lang naman sila. Okay lang kina Azure and Ajic ang magsalita ng English dahil halata namang mayayaman sila pero sa female protagonist mo hindi siya okay.

Technicalities - Marami akong napansin dito. Unang-una hindi ka naglalagay ng dash (-). Kailangan mong maglagay niyan lalo na kapag i-ko-combine mo ang English at Filipino na mga salita. Example: Nag-drive, Nag-park, Nag-hiking. Pati sa Filipino rin kailangan mong maglagay ng dash (-) kapag ganito... Nag-aaral, nag-iisip. Hindi mo maaaring i-combine 'yan dahil kinakailangan 'yan silang paghiwalayin gamit 'yong dash (-). One more thing you should not combine English sentences and Filipino sentences like this... "I don't know hindi ko naman napag-isipan e" It's not a proper way of writing still it is okay if you will put (,) to separate them but for me it is better if your sentences is in English it should be in English and if it's in Filipino it should be in Filipino. It's a part of your technical errors. Okay lang na mataas 'yong mga paragraphs mo, it's normal because your chapter was long. Wala namang mali doon. Bukod diyan sa mga sinabi ko wala na akong problema pa sa technicalities mo. You can have time editing your story, for now don't stress yourself.

Connection to the Genre - Fit na fit siya sa Teenfiction. Hindi lang dahil involved ang schools and stuffs kundi 'yong kwento talaga ay para sa mga teenager. Very interesting to read suited for our young readers.

Writing Skills - Magaling at bihisa ka na kung magsulat medyo may kamalian lang tayo sa mga technicalities pero maliban don maayos na maayos 'yong pagkakasulat mo ng kwento. Magsulat ka lang nang magsulat para mag-improve ka everyday at mas lalong gumaling ka pa. There is no better training to be a better writer than to write, write and just write until you become a better writer.

I give you 95.5/100%

So this is the end of my insights about your story.

Suggestions - Ayusin mo lang 'yong mga technical errors and mistakes mo. Bukod don wala na akong masasabi pa dahil wala namang masyadong mapupuna sa kwento mo. Wag ka rin magmadali sa pag-edit ng kwento mo. Tapusin mo muna 'yan bago mo gawin 'yong pag-edit para hindi sagabal sa imaginations mo. At isa pa suggestions and opinions ko lamang ito, okay? Hindi kita pinipilit na sundin lahat ng sinabi ko. You can decide on your own.

My advice - Just like what I always said. Keep writing until you can't write anymore. If this is really your passion you can't easily give this up. Whatever obstacles you will encounter be strong and trust yourself. Don't let yourself fall down. I know you can improve well in the future I trust in you, not just you but all of you. God bless you always.

I hope this critique of mine help you a lot. If you still want my insights about your story you can come back here anytime. ❤❤