The Gangster Princess and The Gangster Prince
Author: AshleyNicoleDeJesus

Here comes my insights about your story. 🐱🐱

Plot - I must say you have a nice plot and a little bit interesting even though it is common anymore. Your plot is not that flowing really well according to your story. Sometimes you jumped up into another scene which got me confused a little. But honestly speaking I'm okay with your plot.

Cover - Honestly it's ugly. It's too disturbing in the eyes. The font you used is not that clear and it doesn't fit the color of your background. In short it's not connected to the title and the content of your story.

Descriptive Words - No descriptive words which make the story boring. It has an action right? So you should use descriptive words to make your sentences attractive.

Technicalities - Too many to mention. One of that is that you made your chapters a paragraph. You're not adding some space which make your story so annoying to read. Please add some space. And one more thing don't capitalize some first letters in your story. Like these..."Campus Crush Daw Siya."  You have so many first letters like that. You should not capitalize the others okay? If it is in a sentence, except if it is a title then it's okay if you capitalize the first letter of each words.

Dialogues - Don't add two or more dialogues in one paragraph, it should be in another paragraph. Also these are the proper way in creating dialogues. Example... "I love you," he said. You should add a coma. Don't forget that and another example... "I want to kill you right here, right now." He clenched his fist, before launching a punch right through his face. You should add a period.

Characteristics of your Characters - It's okay. For me there's no problem in your female lead. But to the other characters of the story. You're not giving them their proper characteristics that's why I'm confused sometimes. I hope you can do something about this.

Emotions of your Characters - It's lacking too much. I can't feel them. I can't feel the anger, the happiness and etc. Please if you are writing put yourself in the story, feel it don't just write without feeling and taking in the story.

Tone of your Characters - They have the same tone. Especially your male characters. How can the readers differentiate them if their tone is literally the same? This is some error. Fix this if you have time.

I give you 90/100%

So this is the end of my insights about your story.

Suggestion - Edit the whole story if possible. Arrange it very well. Add some space and correct your technical errors and grammatical errors. If possible proof read your story. Your story is nice but your writing is not. Improve your writing skills more. I hope you won't feel bad about this okay? This is just what I saw and notice in your story. It is all just my opinions. All of the changes is up to you.

My Advice - Keep writing and feel your story 'cause I think you're not doing it. Try to put yourself in the story then maybe just maybe you can improve more than I can imagine. You have a nice plot believe me and especially I didn't expect the ending to be cruel and I praise you for that. So I really hope that this critic of mine won't hurt you but instead it can help you improve more.

I hope this critique of mine help you a lot. If you still want my insights about your story you can come back here anytime. ❤❤