She's The Real Challenge
Author: mr_cuddles

Here comes my insights about your story. 🐱🐱

TITLE - From the title 'She's The Real Challenge' simple but very attractive. Una pa lang maku-curious ka na kung bakit she's the real challenge 'yong title ng kwento mo bakit 'yon ang pinili mong title. Your reader will eventually read the book to know the reason or the story behind your title. I know your title is not that rare or unique anymore but it is very powerful to hook your readers into reading your story.

COVER - I know your cover is so simple, not much design in it but for me it is okay to be your cover 'cause I find it attractive enough, pleasing in the eyes and suited to your story. I like your cover very much that's why I don't have anymore to say about it. Just like your title, your cover is also simple.

BLURB - Definitely good. At first I thought your blurb was somewhat off to me but later on while reading it 'til the end I find it nice. Your blurb is full of proper information about the story and ideas on what will happen in the story. Your blurb can also hit the curiosity of your readers just like what it did to me. Honestly it got me curious about the whole story that I started thinking in advance what will happen to the story. I know it is also the same to your readers.

OVERALL PLOT - Your plot for me is very mysterious. That's why I'm really curious. The pace of your story is normal, not fast and not slow. The flow of your story is good. I don't see any plot holes and I believe you planned the whole story very well. It is also not some old cliché story. I didn't read all chapters of your story since it is very long. And I want to add my opinion about your first 5 chapters.

Chapter 1
- Where the challenge begin between the grandchildren of Mario. Una pa lang exciting na 'yong kwento. Habang binabasa ko ang chapter na ito natutuwa ako sapagkat napaka-reliable ng kwento. Napakagaan nang ambiance ng kwento mo. Natutuwa ako sa mga characters mo dahil nagawa mo nang maayos 'yong characterization nila. At maganda rin ang ending of chapter 1 dahil nadapa si Lily. Diyan pa lang agad-agad nang babasahin ng readers mo ang chapter 2 para malaman ang susunod na mangyayari.

Chapter 2
- Where Sage meet Lily. Here in chapter 2 I definitely fell in love with Sage character. He's very playful and competitive. Ayaw talaga magpatalo. Same also with Lily I find her character to be mysterious. She's also a bit playful to me and I can't stop myself from thinking advance that she's maybe also planning something.

Chapter 3
- Where Sage meet Ken. I was really amazed at your move here. I really thought Ken was a boy and when it got revealed that she's a girl I was left hanging. Also I find Sage and Lily's exchanged of messages very natural in the story. And also in this chapter I fell in love with Kendra.

Chapter 4
- Where Sage and Ken act like a cat and dog having some quarrel. I enjoyed this chapter very much. I find the two of them so funny. And this chapter got me thinking that maybe Kendra and Sage will end up together.

Chapter 5
- Where Sage and Ken was in the car having a conversation or more like a lover's quarrel for me. I find them so cute that I started to ship them both. I can't help it since they got a chemistry.

Good job for the awesome and amazing first 5 chapter of your story.

WRITING SKILLS - So dumiretso na ako dito dahil wala kang masyadong problema sa technicalities mo kaya di ko na sinali. Maayos na rin 'yong dialogues mo. Alam na alam muna ang kaibahan at tamang paggamit ng action tag at dialogue tag. Sa characters mo naman nasabi ko na ang tungkol sa kanila sa first 5 chapters mo. Isa lang ang masasabi ko sa writing skills mo. You're very matured in terms of writing. Wala kang masyadong mali. Maayos ang construction mo ng mga sentences pati mga dialogues mo super reliable and natural. In short napakamalinis mong magsulat.

I give you 99/100%

So this is the end of my insights about your story.

SUGGESTIONS - Pagbutihan mo pa ang pagsusulat mo. I don't have much problems about your story. Halatang na-edit mo na ito at na-check mo na rin. Kaya ang ma-sa-suggest ko lang ay wag kang tumigil sa pagsusulat at pagbutihan mo pa ito lalo.

MY ADVICE - As always keep writing. It is your passion. You work hard for it. Wattpad is a toxic world right now. So if you encounter some bashers about your story some people pulling you down be strong. Writing is your passion, make it your weapon. God bless you in writing.

I hope this critique of mine help you a lot. If you still want my insights about your story you can come back here anytime. ❤❤