Rule Breaker
Author: httpjin_

Here comes my insights about your story. 🐱🐱

Title - Nice choice of title and it suits very well in your story. It's simple but full of attraction. The reader will read it and will try to find what's going to happen in the story. Why does it entitled rule breaker? Who is the rule breaker? And many more question to be answered if ever they will read the story.

Cover - Pretty simple. Wala masyadong kaartehan pero tumpak naman sa title at sa main theme ng kwento mo. No point in changing it unless you want to.

Blurb - Short but terrible. Why? Dahil kahit maikli lamang siya napaka-attractive niya. You can attract more readers because of your blurb. Ako nga na-hook mo agad dahil napakaganda ng binigay mong description ng kwento mo. Good job to that.

Plot - Aaminin kong hindi na ito bago sa panlasa ng ating mga mambabasa. Pero hindi ko maikakailang ang ganda ng plot mo. Very interesting to read and very suitable for our young readers. Many lesson to be learn inside the story. Kasi may mga spice of reality 'yong plot mo at maganda ang bagay na iyon. Halatang napagplanuhan mo ng maayos itong plot mo. The narration was good also.

Characters - Good job in making the characteristics of your characters realible. Andriette was such a hard-headed girl and sometimes I find her a bitch and I love her so much. Dixon also I find him mysterious for me and that's what I love from him. Claude was such a jerk for me and I really hate him in the story. Adhaya is a good friend of Andriette and I like her for caring and worrying about Andriette all the time when she was causing troubles. So that's it good job to this part.

Technicalities - Merong mga kunting errors and mistakes akong nakita at alam ko namang makakaya mo itong ayusin. This is your story after all.

- First, napansin ko minsan nakakalimutan mong maglagay ng tuldok at comma pagkatapos mong gumawa ng dialogue. Kailangan mong maglagay niyan para malaman kung action tag or dialogue tag 'yong ginawa mo.

- Second, kinakailngan ding kapag mag-co-combine ka ng English words to Filipino words dapat ay may dash talaga sa gitna dahil hiniram mo lamang ang salitang iyon sa English. Example: Nag-drive, nag-enjoy, etc.

- Third, may mga wrong grammar ka pero kunti naman. May napansin nga akong may salita kang "nagkameron" dapat kasi "nagkaroon" 'yan siya. Minsan din may mga fragments ang sentences mo. Meaning non may kulang sa sentences o may mali kang words or verbs na nilagay na hindi suitable sa sentence na 'yon.

- Lastly, a few typographical errors but you can edit it. If you will revise your story.

Writing Skills - Maayos at walang masyadong mali ang pagsusulat mo ng kwento. Your writing skills was clean and pleasing to the eyes. Magsulat ka lang nang magsulat para mag-improve ka pa lalo. Sa ngayon medyo okay 'yong writing skills mo at kunting ayos pa alam kong mag-i-improve ka pa lalo.

I give you 96/100%

So this is the end of my insights about your story.

Suggestion - Suggest ko lang na mag-focus ka muna sa pagsusulat wag mo munang isipin masyado 'yong mga errors and mistakes na sinabi ko dahil hindi naman kita minamadali na ayusin ang kwento. Ang nais ko lang ay ipagpatuloy mo ang pagsusulat at nang makumpleto mo 'yong kwentong ito.

My advice - Same advice to other writers. Keep writing and don't think about anything whenever you are writing a story. Mas madali kapag ganon dahil hinahayaan mong dumaloy sa isip mo 'yong plot ng kwento mo at kalaunan sasabay sa daloy ang mga kamay mo para isulat ito. Then after that tada you've  already finished another chapter.

I hope this critique of mine help you a lot. If you still want my insights about your story you can come back here anytime.  ❤❤