His Vile Craving
Author: blitzkrieg_08

Here comes my insights about your story. 🐱🐱

TITLE - Your title suits the story very well since your protagonist loves sex a lot and he craves more from it. HIS VILE CRAVING simple yet attractive enough to hooked readers.

COVER - I'm not really good in book covers so I will not say anything anymore about your cover since for me it's okay.

BLURB - Your blurb is very nice. Very straight to the point. Introducing the maim theme of your story with a detailed information about it. Your blurb is also intriguing to the point that it will your readers an excitement to read the story.

DESCRIPTIVE WORDS - Good job to you for using descriptive words in giving detailed information about the story and your characters. These also help for the balance of your show and tell.

DIALOGUE - Very reliable dialogues. I don't have a problem in this one since you already know the action tag and dialogue tag of a dialogue. Your format is already correct. So no problem at all.

TECHNICALITIES - We have a little technicalities in the story. Especially the right usage of RIN/DIN and RAW/DAW same also with RITO/DITO.

RIN-RAW-RITO examples,

1. Wala na rin akong pagkain sa bahay.
2. Nasaan na raw ba si Junjun?
3. Saan ba rito 'yong sinasabi mo?

As you can see they are used when the first word before that ends with a vowels.

DIN-DAW-DITO examples,

1. Aalis din ako mamaya.
2. Kailangan daw nating pumunta sa munisipyo.
2. Alin dito 'yong gusto mo?

As you can see they are used when the first word before that ends with a consonants.

But don't worry, you don't have much errors in that part.

I also noticed a few typographical errors but don't worry it can still be fixed.

Aside from that you don't have that much technicalities.

PLOT - For me your plot is unique. You have your own originality, own style and creativity in creating this story. It's not cliché so definitely it's a new kind of story for everyone. Maybe someone will think it's cliché but yours have uniqueness in it so that it can never be compared to anyone's stories. Good job for following the main theme of your story. Hindi nawawala 'yong takbo ng kwento sa main concept nito at 'yon ang nagustuhan ko sa kwentong ito. Hindi rin mabilis ang daloy kun'di tamang-tama lamang ito para sa isang kwento.

CHARACTERS DEVELOPMENT - Good job in this part. I'm really amazed by your characterization. Throughout reading the story I have known and I fell in love to your male protagonist Akihiro and female protagonist Hezekiah. Well I don't see much improvement in Hezekiah's part but maybe it's because she doesn't appear that much in the scene since your Hero in the story was Akihiro that's why he improves a lot than Hezekiah. Well it's still a good job for you since they are very realistic. I'm sure many can relate especially in Hezekiah's part. So goob job again.

WRITING STYLE - Very clean. I don't have much to say. I like your writing style. It's not annoying in the eyes in short you write cleanly.

I give you 98/100%

So this is the end of my insights about your story.

SUGGESTIONS - I suggest, na balikan mo ang pag-aral sa tamang paggamit ng RIN/DIN, RAW/DAW and RITO/DITO. Just continue reading some stories especially a story that has a same genre as yours.

ADVICE - Don't stop writing and just continue what you love. As I can see you have great talent in writing. We don't know maybe in the future I can see you as one of the authors getting to the top. Also don't forget to read other stories. Don't forget that you are also a reader. By reading some other stories you will gain another knowledge and things that you can used in your upcoming stories. God bless you in writing.

I hope this critic of mine help you a lot. If you still want my insights about your story you can come back here anytime. ❤❤