Bad Boy's Revenge
Author: allistersheak

Here comes my insights about your story. 🐱🐱

Plot - Common but your idea were amazing. Chapter 1 to 3 the flow of the story is improving and flowing really well but when I arrived at chapter 4 I was a little bit confused because you suddenly popped out a past scene or happenings without indication and I was like "Okay, what was that?" Chapter 5 to 8 I'm totally confused about your real content of the story like "Gosh, I'm totally lost." Suddenly you popped out Jaco which lead the content to be confusing. Nawawala 'yong main content ng story mo. The story supposed to revolve in Kier but it didn't happen. In chapter 1 to 5 dapat doon pa lang may connection na 'yong plot mo sa title mo but too bad they still didn't have connection. But don't you worry I like your plot.

Title - Like what I said your title doesn't connect to your story. I don't understand why you titled it Bad Boy's Revenge. Kasi sa pagbabasa ko ng kwento mo napapansin kong nagfofocus ka masyado kay Mignon kaya nawawala 'yong connection ng title mo sa kwento mo. Hindi ko rin maintindihan bakit naging revenge siya. Walang ginawang masama si Mignon kay Kier so why does he want revenge? That's the big question.

Cover - Simple but it doesn't show the content of your story. It doesn't have a connection to your title also. It's not attractive also and not eye-catchy.

Characters Improvement - Good job in making Mignon's characteristics improve along the way of the story. So far siya lamang 'yong nakikita kung nag-improve sa mga characters mo. Kier needs more appearance in the story since your title indicates him. Don't just focus in Mignon. You need to balanced them both since they are your main character in the story. Jaco and Sabrina needs improvement also since they are the sidekicks of the story.

Blurb - It needs more impact to catch readers into your story. 'Yon lang ang masasabi ko sa blurb mo.

Descriptive Words - Another thing I like in your story is that you used many descriptive words and it's very attractive. I enjoyed seeing them in a paragraph or in a sentence. Especially descriptive words in English.

Dialogues - You have a great job creating an interesting dialogues and conversations between your characters. Hindi ako nabobored sa mga conversation nila and that's a good thing dahil parang nag-uusap talaga sila in reality. Kaya wala akong problema sa mga dialogues mo.

Technicalities - We doesn't have much problem in these things. Napansin ko naman na bihasa ka na sa paggamit ng "ng" at "nang" na isa sa mga nahihirapang gawin ng mga Filipino writers. Meron kang kunting grammatical errors pero wag mong pagtu-unan nang pansin 'yan masyado. Because you can still edit it but now just enjoy yourself writing.

Connection to the Genre - It is really suited to the Teen Fiction genre since it involves school and stuff.

Writing Skills - You have a great writing skills. Nakikita ko 'yon sayo habang binabasa ko 'yong kwento mo may kunting aberya lang sa plot kaya medyo hindi maganda 'yong kinalabasan ng kwento mo pero marami ka pang chance. You can still improve and correct your mistakes. Hindi naman kita minamadali. Because writing takes time and focus. Basta kung gusto mong mag-improve pa lalo just write and write.

I give you 93/100%

So this is the end of my insights about your story.

Suggestions - I suggest gumawa ka ng plot outline para may guide ka kung paano mo mapadaloy nang tuluyan o maayos 'yong kwento mo na walang nangyayaring cut-off sa gitna at para hindi magkaroon nang butas 'yong plot mo. Ayusin mo rin 'yong characteristics ni Kier, Jaco, Sabrina and your other characters. Inprove them well. At wag kakalimutan si Mignon she's one of my favorite in your characters.

My advice - Write, write and write. Sa patuloy mong pagsusulat, patuloy ka ring magiging bihisa sa pagsusulat. Read other writers work also if you have time. Learn more from others so that you can add it to your knowledge. Be inspired and don't let yourself down. You will taste failure if you will stop writing. Kaya enjoy your passion and let me tell you it's better to write without thinking. Mas ma i-e-enjoy mo ang pagsusulat.

I hope this critique of mine help you a lot. If you still want my insights about your story you can come back here anytime. ❤❤