ten mia's mind

✨

       THE WORLD IS CAVING IN, as Mia's sent to St. Mungo's through the Floo Network. She doesn't know if this is the norm, if students are allowed to high-tail it out of school if their family member's in hospital, or if this is because her mum's accident is Order-based, but she's glad she can leave. Her heart's beating faster than it ever has. When Cedric died, when her dad escaped prison — she wasn't this scared. Because her mum... Her mum's different. Mia wouldn't be Mia without her mum. And the idea of her passing away...

       She can't deal with it. She knows one day, sure, her mum would die of old age — but not now. Mia expected she'd be older, mature enough to handle her own emotions. But this is happening now. And Mia doesn't know how to cope.

       She remembers when she was little, when her mum told her why they have the same name. "Well, Mummy was on a lot of medicine... But, I thought that it was really strange that loads of men name their sons after themselves, but women don't! So we named you Emilia." When Mia was a little older (eleven, before she got to school) and learned more about the Salvatores, Mia understood it. Why wouldn't Emilia honour herself like that? She was abandoned by her parents, raised by an abusive psychopath, and if it wasn't for her magic, she would've been forced into becoming a Death Eater! She went through so much... Mia's so proud of her mum, to overcome all of that. Especially since her husband then went to prison and she was alone again. Mia couldn't manage all of that.

       No! I should think like that, she thinks to herself, as she waits at the reception desk in St. Mungos. Apparently Ministry officials (a loose disguise for Order members) are going to take her up to see her mum. If I think, 'Mum went through a lot of shit, and so can I,' then I can get through this...

       Mr Weasley walks into the waiting area. He says hi, and Mia feels awkward, suddenly realising that she's gonna have to share this time with her mum, with random people in the Order. She wonders what her dad's doing. There's no way they'd be able to sneak him in here... She can't help but feel bad for him.

       "Your mum's doing all right now," says Mr Weasley, as they walk down the hallway, to the lifts. He lowers his voice, as he adds, "I'll make sure they tell you what happened... Just not here."

       Mia nods. "Thanks..."

       Is this what Harry feels like?

      "How's... school been?" he says.

       Mia shrugs. "Same as always, I guess..."

       She holds back details about Dumbledore's Army. About Umbridge. About the fact that his son keeps on talking to her. But he doesn't need to know these things. She isn't Harry, she isn't Hermione, she isn't Archie. To Mr Weasley she's the daughter of a couple he knows. A couple he works with, she supposes. But there's no reason for her to tell him things. He isn't Cedric's dad, is he?

       "Fred and George say they've been spending time with you," says Mr Weasley. Mia feels a little mortified; her cheeks burn at the thought. They've talked about me? She doesn't know why she's saying they, though, because she knows only one of them would feel the need to bring her up... But still. Why would he? Isn't that a little weird? "Hopefully they've been nice and all."

       "Oh, yeah, no, they've been really nice," says Mia, panicking. She worries that her silence, and general look of what the fuck, was mistaken for, they are terrible I hate them. She doesn't hate them. She doesn't even mildly dislike them. They're... OK. That is all. But she doesn't like the idea of making their dad think they've been nasty. That's not fair. "I see them, sometimes, when I'm with Archie..."

       Mr Weasley smiles nicely. He has a warm smile. He's the sort of person that was born to be a parent, you know? Mia cannot imagine Mr Weasley, or Mrs Weasley, before being parents. Same as her mum... Her dad wasn't there, so all the pictures she had were of him, before he was a parent, so she can't even comment there.

      The lift makes a ding as they reach the third floor. A woman's voice says the name of the floor, and then, "Wards thirty to thirty-nine are accessible here... Please wait for the doors to open before exiting the lift, thank you." Mia feels her stomach knot, as they step into the hallway, and begin walking. Everything's sterile, large panels above doors marking the separate wards. The third floor, according to the sign inside the lift, is for potions and plant poisons. The different wards mark the severity of each. Mia doesn't know which one she's going to, and anxiously glances across at Mr Weasley, waiting for him to stop at a door.

       They pass thirty-four. Thirty-five. Thirty-six. Mia feels sick to her stomach. She doesn't know what happened to her mum — she doesn't think she wants to — but this is torture. The further they get, the worse Mia feels. How bad is she? she thinks, as they pass thirty-seven, then thirty-eight...

       They stop at thirty-eight.

       Mia doesn't know whether to be relieved, or feel terrible, because her mum is still in thirty-eight. She has to blink furiously to stop herself from crying, or making a puddle of salty water appear in the hallway. Mr Weasley looks across at her, as if checking up on her, before opening the door into the ward.

       Emilia's in a room on her own. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Tonks are by the door of the room, keeping the image of Aurors on watch. Mia feels like she might vomit. The door's opened for her by Mr Weasley, as he says, "I'll give you a minute."

       Mia frowns. She expected the rest of the Order to be crowding around her mum. Obviously she's grateful that she can have this time alone with her, because she feels as if she has more of a right to see her mum in a hospital bed, than someone that has Order meetings with her three times a week. She walks up to her mum, fast asleep. A bandage covers part of her forehead, and there's a red rash snaking up her neck. Mia doesn't know how to react.

       She hears the door close shut, and as soon as it does, she sees the shadow of a large dog emerge behind her, and turn into a man.

       "Dad?"

       She keeps her voice down, as she turns around. The curtains are drawn so no one can see into the room, and Mia looks at him in shock. She heard what the Order was saying over the summer. Her dad isn't allowed to leave the house. She thought they'd say the same now...

       "Let's keep this one to ourselves," says Sirius, with a weak smile. "Dumbledore doesn't know I'm here, but they agreed it was unfair..." He nods his head to the door, where the Order members are standing on the other side of.

       Mia shrugs, looking away. "Well, Mum's your wife."

       "And I wanted to see you," says Sirius.

       Mia looks back at him, unsure of what to say.

       Awkwardly, she goes, "So do you, like, not care that Mum is there...?" She motions to the hospital bed. She sees her dad frowning. "... Why do you want to see me?"

       "I don't want us to fight," he says.

       "Then don't prioritise Harry."

       She doesn't want to have this conversation now — she doesn't think she ever wants to — but she isn't backing down. That would be worse, allowing things to be fine because she finds the idea of this conversation uncomfortable. She has a right to be angry. She isn't going to settle things, but not really, because she felt too awkward to saw what she truly felt.

       "I didn't mean to," says Sirius. He puts his hands out as he speaks. His face looks... softer, than usual? As if there's sincerity to his words. "I promise you, Mia, I never meant for this to happen. Harry doesn't have his parents anymore, and... it—it was a lot, when I lost James..." He pauses. He, too, looks uncomfortable. "But I never wanted you to feel like you were second... When I escaped Azkaban, I thought it was safer for you, to keep you out of things. But, looking back... I know how that looks. I'm sorry."

       Mia gapes at him.

       She feels like she's going to wake up in a minute, her alarm going. She looks across at her dad, at the way his eyes are glassy, his hands gesturing out to her. After months of constant angst, she's forgotten this side of her dad exists... This is her dad.

       "You've always been the most important thing in my life," says Sirius, softly. "And you're always going to be, until the day I die."

       Mia can feel tears gathering in her eyes.

       "I'm sorry for—" being a bitch, she wants to say, but she bursts into tears and steps forward. Her dad wraps his arms around her. She's forgotten what this feels like.

        "You don't need to apologise for anything," he tells her. He hugs her tightly. She feels like a little kid again. She thinks this is what it must've felt like, in those pictures of her as a toddler, where her dad's hugging her, or holding her. She doesn't remember any of that, she was too young... But this is enough. "You only said those things because I was being rubbish. You never have to apologise for that."

       She doesn't know why she keeps on crying. Maybe it's because the news about her mum hit her hard. Maybe it's because she was too angry to let her dad comfort her, when Cedric died. Maybe it's because this whole time, she's just wanted her dad. Maybe it's all these things, combined into one, ugly sob.

       After a while she stops crying. Mia ends up sitting in the chair next to her mum, and turns to her dad. "So why is she...?" she begins, but she doesn't know how to word it. She doesn't want to know what happened, because knowing what happened to Cedric killed her, but she wants to know if she'll be OK...

       "How much do you want to know?" her dad says.

       "Just if she's OK," she says quietly. "I don't wanna know... details."

       Sirius nods. "She's going to be OK," he says. "She wasn't too far from here, when it happened, so they treated it before it was serious."

       "But she's in this ward..."

       "It could've been far worse," says Sirius. "But luckily, someone found her and it was treated quickly. So she'll be OK. She'll be fine, Mia." Her dad sits down, next to Emilia on the bed. Mia watches him hold her mum's hand. The last year or so truly made Mia forget the softness her dad has.

       "Was it Death Eaters?" asks Mia.

       Sirius nods.

       "Oh," she says, weakly.

       "But it'll be fine," says Sirius. "No one's going to hurt her again." He smiles weakly at Mia. "The next Death Eater that goes after Em, or you, is dead."

       He makes a cutting motion with her finger across his neck, and Mia snorts. He grins back at her, and she's quickly reminded of the pictures of him as a teenager; the grin of a boy convinced he can do anything, that nothing will stop him again.

       It's strange, how Mia feels; she's worried, of course, because her mum's still in hospital, but she feels such an overwhelming sense of happiness. A sense of relief. She has her dad again...

       Everything fits into place, now her dad's back.

✨

       SHE'S OFFERED TO STAY AT HOME that night, and she gladly accepts. It isn't home, technically, but Grimmauld Place is enough. Mr and Mrs Weasley weren't living there, having returned to wherever the Weasleys lived; apparently, they were only here, over the summer, to keep the kids safe. Mia wonders what the summer would've been like, without the hoard of gingers.

       Anyway. This meant that it was only Mia, Sirius, and Kreacher in the house — Kreacher disappeared after he made dinner, though, so Mia barely counts him. So, as they eat their tea, Mia starts to tell Sirius everything.

       First it's Dumbledore's Army. Then it's Archie. Then it's George and Fred's constant appearances in her life. She tells him all about last year, about her last few months with Cedric. She tells him about everything she didn't tell him last year, because she was too angry to. She talks and she talks and her dad listens intently, like she always wished he would.

       She keeps on circling back to Dumbledore's Army, and how she couldn't do the spell. "Harry said I needed confidence... Which, like, I have," says Mia, and then she glances at her dad, hoping he'll nod in agreement.

       Sirius frowns. "Do you think that?"

      Mia almost replies and says yes, but she pauses.

      "I see what you did there," she says quietly.

       "I know you can do it, I always have," says Sirius. "But you've got to think the same."

       I know you can do it... But you've got the think the same.

✨

       SUDDENLY IT CLICKS INTO MIA'S MIND. I know you can do it... But you've got to think the same. She ends up sitting in her bedroom and struggling to sleep, overthrown with energy. She can do it, and she will! All she has to do is put her mind to it, because she is capable of doing these defensive spells! Her dad's voice rings in her ears, reminding her of the fact. I can do this, and I will!

       The next morning she wakes up early, used to the six o'clock starts at school, and goes straight downstairs. She doesn't even stop to brush her hair, as her feet hit the bottom step, and her dad greets her in the kitchen. This is all she's wanted.

       Her dad asks her what lessons she's got at school, since she's going back at lunchtime, and they talk about normal stuff for a while. At one point her dad says that Emilia's doing fine, and they'll arrange something with Dumbledore so Mia can see her mum, once she's better, and Mia smiles. I have a dad again!

       "I've got double Art this afternoon," says Mia, as she eats her scrambled eggs. "And an extra Astronomy class tonight."

       "Oh, I was good at Astronomy," says Sirius.

       Mia scoffs. "It would be weird if you wasn't."

       "That's true," he says with a nod, starting to laugh.

       It's almost twelve o'clock now, and Mia's in the living room, sorting out her things. There's a couple of her grandma's coats that she planned to get at Christmas, but she decides to take them now. One's an old fur coat, the other a shearling jacket from the sixties. Both smell of cigarettes, but Mia knows the smell's too locked in to clean out now.

       Grimmauld Place doesn't feel as dark as it did in the summer, strangely enough. Mia always knew she missed her dad, but she didn't realise his absence had affected her so much. It feels crazy to her, actually, how everything feels a lot warmer, now this has been resolved. How, deep down, all she needed was her dad.

       Someone knocks on the living room door. Mia half expects it to be Sirius, but the knock's too light for it to be him. But she says they can come in, figuring it'll be someone in the Order, most likely. Apparently they've got a meeting this afternoon, once she's gone.

       Mrs Weasley steps into the living room, and smiles softly. "Hello, Mia, dear," she says nicely. Mia smiles back at her. She's surprised, to say the least. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing all right..."

        "I'm good, thanks," says Mia.

       "Sirius said you two hashed things out," she says. "And I'm—I'm really happy for you."

       Mia can see the glassiness in Mrs Weasley's eyes and starts to worry. She's not going to cry, is she? "Uh, thank you..." she says. "Um... I don't know if they've said, but the twins have been really nice to me, I know you had that deal with them..."

       "Oh, well, they don't write to us all that often, but George mentioned it," says Mrs Weasley. Mia can't help but think, he did? "As long as you're all right. I've got to go, before this meeting starts, but if you ever need anything, let me know."

       "Thank you," says Mia, smiling softly.

      Mrs Weasley walks towards her, and gives her a hug. It's so bizarre. Mia hugs her back, of course — she isn't a monster — but she feels strange about the whole thing. It's starting to dawn on her, that the more she gets tangled up with Archie and George, the more this will become the norm. She needs to stop thinking is this what Harry feels like? because, like, if she's being mentioned by George in his joint, infrequent letters to his mother — meaning, there is a lot of ground for both boys to cover, and George still mentions her — this is what... Mia feels like?

       The last two days have been full of surprises, Merlin.

       Sirius then appears, just as Mia's getting ready to leave. He hugs her tightly, and tells her he'll keep her up to date with Emilia. Mia feels him kiss the top of her head and Merlin, she feels so happy. Her heart's full of warmth.

       When she arrives back at school, returning back to Sprout's office, she goes straight to her dorm room, to change her schoolbooks. Most of her art stuff's in the classroom, so she leaves her grandma's coats on top of her trunk, switches out her quill and parchment for her art pencil-case, and gets going.

       By the time she's sorted her things out, there's twenty minutes left of lunch. She's got one thing on her mind, though, as she makes her way from the Hufflepuff common room to the hall.

       "George!" she says, as she walks up to him.

       His eyes widen. "Um, hi...?" 

       "What are you doing, later on?" she says.

        George looks as if he's stepped into another reality.

       "I'm doing absolutely nothing, if that's what you want," says George.

        Fred turns around. "I thought we—?"

       "Absolutely nothing," says George, to Mia.

       Mia looks back at Fred, who rolls his eyes at his brother. She then looks at George, who smiles, completely ignoring Fred. ... Right, she thinks.

       "I wanna practice Expelliarmus," she tells him.

       George looks surprised. "You do?"

       "Yeah," she says, starting to smile. "'Cause I'm gonna get it this time."

are we READY LADIES

chapter ten marks a change in mia's story!!! things are gonna be happier now!!! yay!!!

i'm so so sorry for how long this has taken to update. i know i said this in the last chapter as well and i know u guys are cool with me taking my time... but like, i just wanna say i know it's a little shit having to wait for an update. i've still got uni and all that, but i still love this story and the whole theme of it. thank u so much for your support. i hope you're all doing well, and that you're safe (it is MAD to think that the last time i posted a mia chapter, things were normal, like?!?!??!?!?!)

so, ofc, i hope u enjoyed, and let me know what u thought!!