i was listening to gerard way's song called brother and i couldn't help myself

play the song whenever you'd like, but i'd suggest you to play it now and listen to it as you're reading because it makes the fic sound better

***

Ty sighed, his foot tapping anxiously on the tiled floor. The sound of monitors echoing tauntingly from the room made his stomach churn and his head spin. He bit his lip, his heart anxiously racing out of his chest as he awaited the results. He couldn't have the guts to cry—as much as he wanted to break down right there in the middle of waiting room in front of all the strangers that were waiting to hear their families' conditions, he was just another face, suffering. He didn't need any false empathy from others, he needed to stay strong.

"Ty, it's going to be okay," Adam whispered, hugging the other. Ty rubbed his eyes, watching his own tears break through his facade and stroll down his pale, trembling face. Adam's comforting voice broke him.

"Ty, look at me." Adam lifted up his chin. Ty made eye contact with the eyes he had always known; bright, welcoming "golden" that shone like the stars. He loved seeing those eyes when they weren't hiding behind sunglasses. "Everything will be okay."

Ty just simply nodded, small whimpers erupting from his throat as he broke the stares by burying his face into his hands. The memory wanted to make him vomit, it twisted his stomach and hurt his head to the point where he just wanted to collapse—forget about the world and just sleep—a sleep that would be permanent and everlasting.

He didn't want to feel anymore. He couldn't go back to the past as much he wanted to. He couldn't sleep properly again without his considerate consciousness keeping him awake at every fucking hour. He couldn't look at everything at the same way again—life was precious and short. Ty realized that for the third fucking time, now. Sitting in a hospital's waiting room is the most taunting task that he could do, the pressure was suffocating and drowning.

He listened to the sounds of the monitors that were scattered across the hospital. Some were loud, some were quiet, and some went flat. Some were quick paced and some were slow paced. Hospitals were just like that, they liked to pull at your emotions until it all comes flooding down to two pathways of "solutions."

You survive, or you don't.

There's nothing in between.

Maybe if he could have prevented this in the first place, he wouldn't be here in this dull, white waiting room. Maybe he could be at home, sitting down on the couch and feeling like nothing in the world could be wrong. Maybe he wouldn't have felt that suffocating weight on his chest, and maybe he could actually breathe happily again. Maybe his heart wouldn't ache, too.

When Brice died from a stroke a few weeks prior, Ty knew that he should have been there. Ty knew that the brunet couldn't be fine on his own, and he knew that Seto could easily dwindle down to nothingness without someone by his side. Ty knew that Seto could lie—and be good at it too. Ty knew that when Seto said that final "goodbye" on the phone, there would be no more "hellos." He knew, but didn't choose to do anything.

He felt numb—that's the feeling he had always felt. He was worthless and numb, he couldn't do anything even if it could be to save someone. This was the third death that had happened in his life—first Jason's suicide by a noose, then Brice getting a stroke, and now Seto's possible death by overdosing on the pills that were suppose to make him fucking happy and keep him in line.

"Tyler Ellis?" A voice called. Ty shot his head up. Adam helped him up and the two strolled to the man in a white coat with a black scruff.

"Where's Seto is he okay? I need to know if he's okay. I'm b-begging you—!"

"Calm down honey, it will be okay," the man's breathing was slow, calm. He put his hand on Ty's shoulder. The tears increased.

"Where is he? Where is my best friend—!"

"It will be okay, I promise it will be okay. I need to tell you something...Seto—"

"Will he be okay? Seto! Where is Seto!"

"He's been announced as dead."