Surprised, Morvran took the letter, his eyebrows raised and his lips pressed together.

"What does it say?", he asked after a while of silence.

You would have liked to tell him that you did not knew and the seal had been broken by accident. But the way he looked at you told you, that he knew. He was reading you like a book, ever since you two had become closer. He knew whenever you were truly happy, he knew what angered you. And he knew when you were lying.

To be honest, at first it had bothered you that he was so good in telling what was on your mind. But now it made you feel like he was connected to you.

Shyly, you looked away and cleared your throat before speaking. You didn't knew why but your voice was shaking.

"He hopes that you will get well soon. He is in need of your support. It seems that things have changed...", you mumbled, refusing to look at him.

"At court, you mean?", Morvran asked.

"No... No, he writes about the battlefield. Nilfgaard has lost an important battle at the Alba somewhere. Not close to the capital but still. Radovid's army is moving forward quickly. The emperor wishes you to return to the front as soon as possible. He writes that his trust lays in you."

For a moment, Morvran remained silent. His breath filled the air. It sounded like a dark song. A song of hesitation.

"Does he... does he name a specific date? A date when I shall return?", he asked.

As you turned to face him again, his eyes were wandering through the room. You noticed how his hands were grabbing the sheets tightly. As if he was trying to hold onto them.

"No.", you sighed.

"But I assume that, as soon as possible, means within days. If the win depends on it, leaving today would be best."

You knew what he was saying. You also knew that it was impossible. He could barely walk properly. Each step caused him pain, you were able to see it in his eyes. But you also knew him good enough to know that he would throw himself into battle with out being able to walk properly. Because that's what filled him with life. His pride and the blind loyalty towards Nilfgaard and its emperor.

A shaky breath left your lips. You reached for his hand, grabbing it tight and tried to make him look at you.

The blue of his eyes made your heart jump every time he looked at you.

Why did he have to look like this?

Why was he handsome?

"Morvran, I know what you want to do is a matter of pride and loyalty. But trust me, you won't survive on a battlefield in your current state. Please, for the love of the gods, stay a little longer. A week, two at best.", you smiled at him, hoping he would be rational.

With a mild smile, he sighed and squeezed your hand. You could feel that he wanted to say sorry.

"I can't. The empire needs me. The war could end in one or two weeks."

"It already lasts like what? Two years? Three? What do two weeks matter?"

"(Y/N)! It matters a lot. In two weeks time I could destroy half of Radovids army. In two weeks the empire could win the war. Changes happen every second, they don't wait weeks. I am needed now! And I will serve my emperor whenever he needs my service."

Grumpy, you freed your hand from his grip and leaned back in the chair. Anger was boiling inside of you.

How was he able to be so smart, yet so stubborn?

He was running into his own death. And if not immediately, the injured ankle would cause him more trouble than he would be able to handle. Especially while fighting.

"Gods, Morvran, you're not even able to walk! How do you want to lead a battalion like this?!", you asked loudly.

Maybe it would have been better to talk to him in a rational way. But at the moment, your feelings were controlling the words that were falling out of your mouth. Your heart was racing in your chest.

You did not want him to leave. Not like this. Not with the high chance of him dying.

You wanted him to return. To return to you.

Gods.

Why were you thinking like this?

Why were you so angry?

You acted as if he was your husband. What a weird fantasy. Things like this would never happen. It wasn't your right to act this way. It wasn't your right to be angry with him. After all, he wanted to die for his country. You would have never done so.

For a long, uncomfortable moment, silence filled the room.

He wasn't looking at you. You weren't looking at him. Both of you simply sat there in silence, while thinking about what to say next.

"I understand your concern. And I am grateful that you care for me this much. But I will go. Wether you like it or not.", Morvran said in a calm voice and sighed. "But I see your point. I won't be able to walk over the battlefield. So need to find out if I'm string enough to ride a horse. So, I need someone who can take care of me for a day. Will you help me?"

Hoping for your support but not demanding it, he looked you in the eyes. His facial expression told you that he was well informed about the risk that he was willing to take. His eyes silently apologised to you.

With a deep sigh, you threw your head back and screamed in anger.

Surprised by this, he twitched.

"Fine.", you finally growled. "Under one simple condition."

You looked at him with serious eyes.

He nodded.

"Whatever you want.", he agreed.

"You will take the mere. Otherwise I won't let you leave for battle."