[ 38 ] 2014

-

"I always had the problem back home that whenever I liked a guy, he never liked me back, like James who only saw me as Billy's sister. But now I have two guys--two great guys--that actually like me, and I don't know what to do."

-

Dempsey and Harley had to be carried on the way out, and by the time they made it out the front door to the house, Niall was long gone with Andrea. Arthur had offered himself to carry Harley, since she was his daughter, but Calum declined. He didn't want to let her out of his arms and out of his sight. 

The girl in Calum's arms returned from unconsciousness just as they were all going to pile into different cars. The group of teens that had arrived to rescue them had a black van that had been used to arrive at the scene from their headquarters in Sydney. Harley jumped slightly in his arms, and squinted back against the bright light of day. But she quickly relaxed when she saw that it was only Calum, and everyone else who was there to rescue her. 

Placing a hand on his arm to get his attention, she said to him rather subconsciously, "You can put me down if you want. I can walk on my own."

Calum gave a shake of his head in protest. "You're not even heavy, Quinn. Let me help you."

But Harley insisted. "Calum, I haven't walked in days or it could have been weeks for all I know...I honestly don't know how long its been. I couldn't tell when it was day or night in there. All I could see in the darkness were all those machines. I want to walk on my own." 

At least her fighting spirit was intact, Calum thought to himself.

He sighed, finally giving in. "Fine. Anything you want."

He lowered her onto the ground slowly, keeping an arm around her waist for support. She took one shaky step forward and then another before her legs gave away beneath her. 

Before her whole body could collide with the concrete sidewalk, he used his other arm to grab onto her, pulling her upright, and at the same time pulling her close to him. Her eyes were trained on her feet which were failing her after being held down on an experiment table for weeks, getting tortured with mild shocks all over her body. She was drained, she was exhausted. She lifted her gaze to begin an apology when her eyes met his dark brown ones. 

Her face flushed bright red as she came face to face with him and noticed their close proximity to one another. Her blue eyes glanced at his luscious lips and they drew her in before she even had the chance to register what was about to happen. Her lips connected with his seconds later, taking him by surprise only at first. When his surprise passed, it was replaced with only joy. Joy at having found her, and joy that he was getting a second taste of her sweet lips. He held her close as their lips moved against one another's in sync, his arms drawing her more near. Her own hands grabbed at the fabric of his shirt to keep herself upright in order to continue their kiss.

Her mind was a jumble, but she did know one thing: that she never wanted that kiss to end.

Everyone looked away awkwardly, even Arthur, her father. But one person didn't. It was James Brady, Billy Quinn's best friend from Perth. 

The black clad soldier took a step forward, about to interfere, but Arthur stuck an arm out in front of him to stop him. It was clear that he preferred someone like Calum Hood for his daughter. Someone like Ashton would only see her grow old without ever aging himself. Someone like James Brady--who Arthur was unsure what he even felt about Harley--would be an absentee at important events for the rest of his life. 

Calum had no attachments with Athur's organization, and was very much alive, which in his opinion made him the perfect choice for his daughter.

The two pulled away breathless and Harley looked away from him in embarrassment at her sudden action. But Calum was still thrilled. To him it meant many things, including that she loved him and that she might grant him a chance. He picked her up in his arms once more and didn't allow her to protest it any further.

As they reached the car, Harley saw Ashton standing across the street from the house, a destroyed look on his face and in his hazel eyes. He couldn't get close enough to the house to embrace her, or even ask her if she was okay. "Ashton! Ashton wait!" She called, knowing that he had seen everything.

But he gave a shake of his head and vanished into thin air as soon as he knew he had been spotted, leaving the group there.

-

Instead of taking her to her parents' house, they took her to Calum's place, where she would need to rest until she could go about her life normally again, as though nothing had happened. She was in Mali's room and she had asked Arthur and Calum to leave her because she needed to talk to Ashton.

It took her a few minutes after they left the room for her to gather the courage to talk to him, and explain what happened.

"Ashton..." She called for him hesitantly.

A minute passed and there was no sign of him. 

"Ashton..." She tried again, this time a bit more loudly. 

That time, he did answer her call and materialized in front of her. There was the same dejected look on his face from earlier and he didn't speak to her. He was only there to listen to what she had to say.

"I know you saw me kissing Calum." She began, letting out a shaky breath. She fumbled with her fingers nervously as she spoke to him. "I was taken in the moment, and I know this will sound horrible, but I can't even say that I didn't like it. That's why I want you to know that I'm really sorry--" Her voice began to crack and tears filled her blue eyes.

Ashton stopped her with a shake of his head. "We're on a break, Harley. There's nothing to be sorry about."

"But I didn't want to break up, and you know that." She told him in a voice barely above a whisper.

"I told you..." He started, pausing when his own voice was on the verge of cracking. "I told you that if you ever discovered that you loved someone else, I would understand. And I do, I really do, doll."

"But Ashton--" She insisted. "I know you're upset about this, and you won't talk to me about it."

He shook his head. "I'm not upset." He told her, but it was clear that he was.

"Tell me the truth." She demanded. No matter how much it would hurt her, she knew it was what he needed to say, and it was what she needed to hear. 

It didn't take much more insisting on her part. After a moment of staying silent, he finally sighed, "Okay." He admitted, pacing for a moment from left to right before he continued. A hand went to rub from his temple, along the side of his face, to his cheek. "I know I said I would understand, and I do, love. But that doesn't take the fucking hurt away." He said. And she involuntarily winced at his use of a curse word. She had never heard him use them before, like they didn't exist in his vocabulary. "He's alive--and I'm not. He can go out with you in public--and I can't. He's a better choice for you--and I'm not. My heart is dead--it may have stopped beating over fifty years ago--but seeing you kiss him felt even worse than when I found out Claire was with Con because at least she never loved me, but you did. And even so, I don't want you to think I want you to feel bad about this. You're only seventeen. I couldn't have expected you would love me your whole life."

Now there were tears spilling from her eyes. She had done plenty of crying in the last couple of months, something that was difficult for her to even imagine doing when she was back in Perth since not many things mattered to her.

"I swear that I do love you." She cried into her hands.

He nodded. "I know you do."

"But I do love Calum too." She added to her cries.

She had finally been able to admit to herself what everyone else had already clearly seen. 

"I'm a horrible person, Ashton." She said in a whiny voice through her tears. "I always had the problem back home that whenever I liked a guy, he never liked me back, like James who only saw me as Billy's sister. But now I have two guys--two great guys--that actually like me, and I don't know what to do."

"Maybe this will sound strange." He told her, grabbing her wrists and pulling her arms away from her face. She had been crying for so long that she didn't even realize when he got closer to her. "But you have to be selfish about this. You think about Calum and I too much and you want to spare our feelings all the time. Think about yourself and whatever makes you happy. If you pick me, I'll be the happiest man--or ghost--in the world. But if you pick him, I'll be fine. Always loving you, but I'll be fine nonetheless."

Harley sniffed. "You're so thoughtful."

He remained with her, holding her in an embrace until she finally calmed down. Then he left her alone to make her decision. 

After several hours of thinking about it, she finally came to realize what was best for herself.

-

It was a few days before she felt well enough to return to school again, and she noticed that there was yet another new chemistry teacher. This was a British man in his thirties that Dempsey didn't feel weary around. Nothing else was known about Dr. Barnes or his daughter Michella for a few days, until finally they were both on the news, but for their strange disappearance. Harley figured they had been found and punished by their government for failing their mission.

Harley was in her home class, sitting with Cindy for a change, since they had gotten their varsity jackets that morning, and Cindy wanted Harley to show them off to the class with her. The two girls sat surrounded by the populars, Cindy with a jacket with the letter C for captain, and Harley with a CC for co-captain.

Harley wanted to sneak out of her home class to go find Calum, since she needed to talk to him.

She was about to make her escape attempt from the populars when they all turned at the sound of a boombox playing an old song, and it was coming from the doorway. The sound got louder as the person got closer and she saw her brother Billy, holding her parents' old boom box, with a cassette playing a song that their mother used to love when she was a teenager, before she met Arthur and started liking an entirely different genre of music. It was a ballad and the familiar sound filled Harley's ears.

Connected to the boombox was a chord with a microphone at the end of it, and he brought it to his lips to speak while the instrumental part of the introduction played in the background. 

"This song is for Cindy Hemmings, the love of my life." He grinned, shooting her a wink of his eye.

Cindy smiled wide and waited anxiously for him to start singing for her. 

But Harley knew better. If her brother Billy was good at nearly everything, the one thing he was fatally bad at was singing or anything that had to do with music. He couldn't carry a tune if his life depended on it. Harley brought her hands up to cover her ears before he even opened his mouth.

When he saw that, he hissed, "Shut up, Harley." Even if she hadn't said anything.

The song finally started, and he began singing. Harley noticed that he wasn't even singing the right lyrics. He had changed them and turned them into a prom proposal. 

"Cindy go with me to prom,
cause I wanna be your date.
Please don't tell me you won't go,
cause you'd truly break my heart. 

I remember the very first day that we met.
I felt what I have never felt before.
My heart set all its hopes and all its wishes
all on you, my love, and only on you.

But it never imagined it would suffer
without your love, my darling, 
don't make me have to cry."

Harley placed her head down on the desk, feeling the second hand embarrassment for her brother. They were terrible lyrics that he had changed for Cindy, most likely with Harleen's help, to impress her. She thought their classmates would laugh at him and ridicule him for the rest of his life. But surprisingly, they didn't. He got a round of applause by everyone in the classroom, including the popular kids.

That was the power of being popular in high school. If one was popular, they could do just about anything, and get away with it.

Cindy jumped up from her seat as the song ended and people began to congratulate both Billy and Cindy for going to prom together. Harley took it as he chance and she left her seat, pretending she was going to throw something in the trash bin that was next to the door. But instead she opened it and slipped outside.

She was going to search for Calum. 

She needed to talk to him.

-

i realize that's its been a bit over two weeks since i last updated.

but the work load at my job has gotten so much bigger that i'm literally super tired all the time and i get home and i work out, shower, and sleep, only to wake up the next morning to do the EXACT same thing. and all because my boss's boss wants us to do inventory of the WHOLE fucking library this summer. she's insane. there are four floors to this library.

we started on the first floor FOUR WEEKS AGO and we're not even done with HALF of the books there. what's worse is that the bitch wants it done by the end of june. she is DAFT. that is NOT gonna happen with only four workers.

so that's why this update is shorter than my normal updates. anyway, enough whining. i hope you all liked the chapter. and qotd: whats ur fave video game? mine are FIFA bc i get to play as the baes, and GTA bc i get to steal cars and beat up people. you know, things you want to do in real life, but cant bc you'll get arrested. lol

i hope you're all having a wonderful week, and a wonderful summer! (the girl in the picture at the top is andrea guasch by the way, the girl who i chose to portray harley quinn).

-clary xx