[ 1 ] 2014 

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"Okay, we'll give you some privacy. But shoot us a text if you need anything or start having suicidal thoughts."

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With the sheet of paper in her hand that had Calum's message, the tears spilled out of Harley Quinn's blue eyes. She felt guilty for Calum's decision to leave Sydney forever. It was because of her choice to be with Ashton that he was gone now, out of her life. Harley didn't know if she would ever see Calum again.

But she already missed him.

The tears continued to stream down her face and a strangled sob made its way out of her lips. That was when her legs gave out beneath her and she fell onto her knees, her hands crumbling his note as she brought her hands to her face. Niall and Andrea watched her for a few moments, unable to think of anything to say to Harley Quinn. They missed Calum as well, he was their only real friend in Sydney. The whole reason why they had stayed so long was to keep him company, especially after he lost his parents.

Niall got on his knees next to her and pulled her in for a hug. Harley cried into his chest, soaking the fabric of his uniform button up shirt. Andrea knelt next to Harley as well, patting her shoulder reassuringly, but still no words left their lips. 

He let Harley cry into his shoulder and it was a good few minutes before her crying stopped and she tried to compose herself. Wiping the tears from her face, there seemed to be no more emerging from her blue eyes, but they could see there was something broken inside her. They knew she felt like Calum had abandoned her. And neither Niall nor Andrea could imagine why he would leave Harley, if he seemed to like her so much. They didn't know what had happened between them. They didn't know she had chosen Ashton.

Pulling away from Niall's embrace, she said to them in a monotone voice, "Will you guys please give me some time alone?"

Andrea eyed her suspiciously. "Are you sure?"

Harley Quinn nodded. "I'm sure. I just need a moment to think. I need to be alone."

Andrea bit her lip, debating whether to listen to her or not. She got back on her feet, grabbed Niall's arm, and gestured for him to follow her. He got up as well and they went a few feet off to discuss things. What they didn't realize was that their voices were everything short of whispering and Harley could hear them clearly.

"What do you think?" Andrea hissed, her voice was an attempt at sounding quiet, but she was failing. "I honestly don't think we should leave her alone."

Niall shook his head, "No, we should stay and watch her. Didn't you watch The Twilight Saga, Andy? When Edward left Bella, she went all crazy suicidal." He pointed out. "What if she kills herself and Calum actually comes back? He'll never forgive us for not watching over her."

"Guys," Harley spoke up from where she was on the cold tiled floor. "I can hear you. And I'm not suicidal." But they didn't know whether to believe her or not. There was no emotion in her words, like she was numb and broken. "I just need to be alone, and maybe I'll be able to figure out where Calum went." Her blue eyes fell onto the words written in the note. There was nothing on there that could help her find him, but she thought that if she looked hard enough she would find something.

The couple stared at her.

Finally, Niall sighed, "Okay, we'll give you some privacy. But shoot us a text if you need anything or start having suicidal thoughts."

Andrea elbowed him in the chest. "Be subtle, love."

Niall winced in pain and rubbed the sore spot. "Sorry. I've never been in a situation like this. I just don't want her to jump off a cliff or anything."

"Sweetheart," She linked arms with him, "You're normally really good about saying the right thing. But I think right now you're too worried about Calum that your brain is lacking that little section that prevents people from speaking without thinking." With that, Andrea led Niall to the front door. She waved a small goodbye at Harley and they left, deciding to send her a message later to make sure she was okay.

Once they were gone, Harley got back on her feet and went to one of the couches in the living room. There was an empty almost darkness to the house, everything looked lifeless. 

She got her cellphone out of her pocket and searched her contact list for Calum's number.

Harley tried once more to message him with no luck.

harley: calum, if you see this message text me back.

harley: i just want to know ur okay..

harley: i know ur still mad. but pls talk to me.

Her messages to him were unseen and there was no reply from him. 

She remained on the living room couch, sitting on her own for hours. Her eyes would look around and then they would look at the note every once in a while. Soon it was getting dark outside and Ashton went to find her.

He appeared before her out of thin air, his expression dropped to a frown when he saw her tear soaked face. "I knew I would find you here." He said to her.

She looked up at him blankly. 

"Its my fault he left." She said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I hurt him, and now he's gone."

Ashton quickly shook her head and cut the distance between them. He knelt in front of her, cupped her face in his hands and looked right into her saddened blue eyes. "Its not your fault, love." He assured her, his thumbs wiping off some of the wetness from her face. "You're not responsible for the decisions he makes. He left because he wanted to leave, and he'll come back whenever he wants to come back."

Harley placed her hands on his shoulders and heaved a sigh. "I just need you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay, even if it isn't." 

"I can do that." The ghost nodded his head.

He got up and sat on the couch next to her, his arm went around her shoulders. Harley quickly snuggled closer to him and closed her eyes tight, draping an arm over his body, and trying to will away all the negative thoughts. It took a few minutes for her to drift off to sleep in his arms while he played with the strands of her hair.

During her sleep, Ashton noticed she stirred a lot and her facial expression remained with a look of worry. 

In her dream, she saw Calum. There were flashes of blue, like he was underwater somewhere, but she couldn't see where he was. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving, like he had been submerged under water for him to drown. Harley reached for him, trying to help him, but the closer she got to him, the further away he seemed to get from her. He got so far away that he eventually faded from her sight and Harley called after him. Calum was gone.

She was woken out of her nightmare by the sound of her phone ringing in her pocket. Her breathing was heavy and there were beads of sweat on her forehead. Beside her, Ashton watched her with concern. Harley got her phone out and checked the time before looking at the caller ID. It was eight at night, and her mother was calling, probably wondering where she was.

Harley hit the answer button and brought the phone to her ear. She sucked in a breath to calm herself before speaking. "Hello, mum?"

"Where are you, sweetie?" Harleen sounded worried. "Niall and Andrea called and said you were with them. But I just saw them leave their house and you weren't with them."

"I came to see Calum." Harley said.

"Well, its time to come home." Her mother told her.

"Okay, mum."

But she couldn't shake the images of Calum away. She wanted to find him because she felt like there was something more to his disappearance. Harley wanted to find him, even if he said he didn't want to be found.

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a semi filler ish chapter for you all. i hope you like it. im very excited because this is the first chapter for this cook. i want to thank you all loads for reading. 

update on the raffle: so the book arrived on saturday, and when i opened it...i saw they sent me the wrong book. like they sent me someone else's self published book, some shit called "the art of data" or whatever. lol. so i emailed them. and they replied today. they said they sent me a new one, and they paid for everything. and apparently its coming through ground mail. so it should be here by like thursday or friday. this is the test copy so i can see if all the formatting and stuff came out right. or how it looks in general. and then i can fix all the problems, if any bc im flawless. lol jk.

but yeah, very excited to see how it looks.

question of the day: how many of you are new readers? hello, my name is clary and i want to be friends ^.^ this is a friendly community. talk to me, tell me about yourself. or ask me questions! bahaha. i'll try to reply to them as best i can.

thank you for your support.

blessings, clary xx