My foggy mind is swallowed up in the anguish of my soul bruises. I'm thinking about her. Our story was not that bad, however I can't help but think about the abominable way it ended. Even if there is an end to everything, I must not forget that there was a beginning to our history. A so simple and peaceful beginning which would never foreshadowed such an end. A tear rolls down my cheek. I wipe it immediately.

The memories overwhelm me.

I remember...

Small knocks are heard, someone asks to enter the Castle. Stunned, I decide to open the heavy door of my remains. A young woman then stands in front of me, she is so beautiful and much younger than me. My guards have let her in, she must not be very mean. After several interminable seconds of hesitation, she finally decides to explain the reason of her coming:

" I'm sorry to bother you, I'm your new servant.
- Oh! You must be Mayline! I cried out.
- Yes...
- Well... Welcome home to the Château de Pierrefonds."

Without saying a Word, she therefore entered this great castle that was mine. She was intimidated.

"As you can see, I live alone. We will be two in this humble abode, I let you choose your room and get to work right now. Your work will be rewarded by your free hosting here.
- Thank you Sir, I am infinitely grateful. If you know how difficult it is to sleep in the streets hoping to survive night after night.
- How old are you girl?
- I'm 16 years old.
- You are very young."

She replied with a simple nod before going about her business of simple servant. Then, an idea crosses my mind. I intend to take advantage of her youth and innocence to spice up my life and have a little fun. After all, there I will have fun.

I regained consciousness. How could - I be so cruel? Rehashing the past won't help me. I must forget. I have to forget it. Suddenly, a powerful blow is heard in the great hall. I leap to my feat. All my senses are on alert. I don't know what to do, the fear comes over me. I should put myself together, I am a man after all. Man is powerful, man is proud. I'm not a poor woman, a poor little defenseless being. I am a creature created by God for courage and boldness. Man is the only divine creature that needs to be respected, unlike women, these so frail beings. Always on my guard, I'm heading to this huge dark room that is the great hall. This room is one of the largest of my home, with an impressive architecture and a magnificent decoration. The portal is richly decorated with statues and columns with, at the centre, the Emperor Charlemagne surrounded by princes paladins. At its top, two Angels support the imperial coat of arms topped with a Crown. Yet, when I arrived, a detail chills my blood. The status has been shattered and destroyed. All this rich sculpture is thereby negated. The ground is covered with pieces of this work of art so badly destroyed. At that moment, a draft makes me shiver, a frisson of doubt and anxiety, a thrill of terror. My blood is a tower holding me prisoner in my body which has become so heavy. An awful silence then reigns in the room. I've always lived alone in this vast Castle, but at this moment the solitude and silence seems oppressive and dangerous. Almost deadly. Admittedly, the Château de Pierrefonds is the most special. It is for this reason that I decided to live there. At first sight, we notice its imposing and majestic appearance, worthy of the greatest men of this world. Yet a gloomy and scary atmosphere emanates from this building. For the first time, silence weighs heavily on my soul. I approach slowly the pieces of statues, fallen to the ground. It's a disaster, so much money lost. My wandering mind brings me back to her. I understand what she must have felt. But she was a woman, she was weak. I'm not like her. Fear has now left me, letting the past take possession of my soul.

The memories overwhelm me.

I remember...

Boredom is going to kill me. I don't want anything. Loneliness consumes me. Yet I am not alone anymore. I think back to my dear maid arrived the previous day. Mayline. She is so pure, so generous but she's nothing and I'm a man who desperately need to be entertained. I remember the idea that I had. A poor woman alone in an old Castle, to scare her will be a breeze. That's what was missing from my life. A victim, a person to undergo my jokes in bad taste. I decided to carry out my plan. I take a white sheet and, with a blood red felt, write these words: "you will die here.". Then, I take a crossbow which was placed on the ground not far from me and head to the great hall where she would certainly do the cleaning at this hour.

Fortunately, It does not take me long to find her and immediately I see her cleaning the statues in the room. From where I am she can't see me. She seems much concentrated to work anyway. I'm slowly taking a bow and stab my sheet of paper on it, leaving the word written on it visible. So I put myself in position to shoot archery, I aim for the wall right next to her... I shoot my arrow. It goes off violently and the arrow comes crashing into the wall a few centimeter from her. I just have time to hear her push a small cry of surprise before hiding in my office as if nothing had happened. A few moments later, Mayline enters my office horrified. I pretend nothing happened. She's trembling with fears and a few tears runs down her cheek. I love her ignorance. I enjoy her innocence. Her look is full of anguish and incomprehension. She is at the edge of a nervous breakdown. Her lips are slightly open, trembling:

"Sir.... a disturbing event has taken place in the great hall."

I can't help but smile of satisfaction. Without a word she puts the sheet of paper on my desk with a trembling hand. My plan seems to have worked.

"You still don't believe in that nonsense Miss? So stop making fun of me!
- But ...
- No! Go, I don't find it funny, you're here to work."

This is as Mayline leaves the room, distraught. I feel that my deception worked. Her anguish was palpable. I am overjoyed. I'm not done with her. I look at the date on my calendar: we are March 20, 2015. Let the game begin.

I'm coming to my senses again. Today is April 13, 2016. If I had known. It was a year ago... It has haunted me every day ever since... Since the tragedy. I was a cruel and evil, sexist and selfish man. I have regretted it every day since. I'm sorry for trying to take advantage of her and her young age. I'm so stupid... I can't escape my past, however I spend my life running not to face the truth. I don't want to face my demons. Suddenly, the light begins to flicker, it weakens gradually confronting me to the uncertain dark. All of a sudden, a grave and melancholy air is heard from the old chamber of Mayline. Without thinking, I start to run to the entrance of the Castle, in vain. All doors and windows are now closed. I'm a prisoner. I'm doomed. Frightened and invaded by terror, I decide to rush into her bedroom. Mayline's bedroom. I get there, as soon as possible, by the spiral staircase, looking everywhere around me. Maybe there is nothing, maybe that tiredness is playing tricks on me. But I care. I'm terrified. I was wrong. I'm just a man. And as a woman, even young as was Mayline, I'm vulnerable. While I go up the stairs in a frantic race, I have the terrifying feeling to feel a presence near me, behind me, everywhere around me. She guides me, she's after me, she is unhealthy and hostile. I can feel it. The tension is palpable, the air is heavy, weighing, unbreathable. I throw a glance behind me and notes with amazement that indescribable and ghostly human form is after me. I set it apart, but I just still see this spectrum, this strange thing. My forces miss me, I almost faint. I finally get to her room. A subtle mixture of sadness and anguish wins me. I'm so scared, how is it possible? Her smell seems to be soaked in each of the furniture of the room, as if she were still alive. A shadow move furtively in the room, I feel so weak, I pray that this is just a horrible nightmare. A few long seconds with an air of last hours elapse. Suddenly, my heart stops beating. I hear a little mean-spirited and Machiavellian voice whispering against my ear: "you will die here." My body trembles, my being bent under the weight of fear, my heart beats now right up. These words... My words... It's her... She has come back. I'm drowning in the misunderstanding of the situation. I swim in an ocean troubled by doubts. But everything is my fault, absolutely everything. In my deepest memories, I see her again. I see her sitting here, on this big, soft bed. She was scared.

The memories overwhelm me.

I remember...

The floor creaks under my feet. I'm about to enter her room, furious. It is now two days since Mayline has last left her room. She Should thinks she's at the hotel. She's here for one thing: work. I finally enter her room and can't help but scream on Mayline:

" Get out of your room now! You're a maid I'll call you back, stop believing anything. I've never allowed you to take a rest all day!"

But she does not respond. Her gaze is empty, distant. She stares at the wall behind me without ever crossing my eyes. She seems out of strength.

" I'm so afraid." she says in a sigh.

I made her an empty shell. It's been weeks fun to scare her in the most merciless ways. I even go up to broadcast a recording of scary sounds when she was alone in order to terrorize her. I pretended to be possessed and chased her armed with a knife in the Castle. Then I pretended not to remember anything. I made her go crazy, mentally ill. What she is not. She lived the decadence, the descent into hell. But all this is just a game for me. A cruel game satisfying my boredom. Loneliness makes, even the healthiest men, terrible beasts, cruel and merciless. Loneliness made me a monster of boredom anything to make sense of his life, even the worst feeling is. My heart made of stone screams to stop and prevent the suffering of this poor Mayline. But my soul, dark and demonic, screams to continue to make Mayline my victim. So I continue...

" Mayline! You need to stop with all this foolishness, go back to work!
- No! I'm too scared! she says sobbing.
- I remind you that I am hosting you in exchange for your work. And have you ever thought of the fear of living again in the streets? The cold, no food, no shelter, no family. Just you against the rest of the world, alone in the cold, alone in the rain, just you, alone. Between the fear of an unreality and fear of an absolutely unbearable reality.
- Leave me alone!
- No you choose!"

Without a sound, she rises with difficulty from her bed and trudged up to me.

" You're a vile man. You'll see, you'll have my death on your conscience."

With those words, she leaves the room looking at me over her shoulder. I shudder. A bad feeling intrudes in me.

I come to my senses. If only I had listened to my heart. If only I had listened to her, If only... I can't stay one more second in this room. Without further ado I rush into the fireplace room. Once arrived in this usually so warm room. I lock myself up safely. I'm scared, my demons chase me and catch up with me. While I think I'm off the hook, all of a sudden the windows open and close violently without any interruption. The light turns off, immersing myself in total darkness. That's when small steps are heard all around me, as if someone was walking by me in the half-light. My blood runs cold in my vein. The nightmare does not stop, it is endless. My head seems ready to explode, my senses are on alert, my body is boiling. Strange murmurs are heard in the room. Darkness scares me. I am petrified. The murmurs turn into howls of complaint.

" Remember!"

That's her there is no doubt.

"Remember... what you did to me!"

His tone is full of rage and hatred. I'm going to remember. I need to remember.

The memories overwhelm me.

For the last time I remember...

This is now an hour since Mayline has been locked in her bedroom. She had gone to rest, claiming a terrible headache. Our last conversation was the toughest. Since this I haven't talked to her... Worried about not having news, I finally decided to see if all goes well. I carefully enter her room. Amazement chills my blood. I am horrified, shocked, dazed. She has carried out her threats. She ultimately chose off herself to escape her miserable daily life. Her feet dangling into the void, her body floating like a ghost. The rope around her neck monstrously hold her small children's throat. It is yet in her eternal rest that she seems most alive. She seems so calm and discharged of this weight that life is. Her head falls casually on the side. We could almost say that she sleeps peacefully. Nevertheless, I can't help but be indignant to this disaster. She was only 16 years old. She was so young. A deep discomfort seizes me. Death is omnipresent. Then I see a piece of paper at her feet. It may have fallen from her hands at the fatal moment. My conscience tells me that that word is not benevolent. Despite my apprehension, I read what it's written on the sheet of paper: "Life is just a cruel game. We don't necessarily have the choice." I miss the forces. This isn't life that is cruel, it's me. I'm a monster. She didn't kill herself. I killed her, unintentionally. Tears of rage and anguish flow densely on my cheeks. I'm so scared. I'm a murderer. It takes me back, this girl with no family and homeless will not be missed by anyone. I have to get rid of her body and forget it as fast as possible. Nobody must know nothing. This is as I gently untie her body without bothering to remove the rope around her neck. After that, I take with caution her lifeless body at the rear of the Castle and, using a pick, start digging the ground. There I buried her body, not to be found. As if she had never existed. The rain poured on me, but I didn't care. She died because of me. She died because of my selfishness, my stupidity and my malice. She was right. I'll have her death on my conscience.

Little by little come back to my senses. It was on April 13, 2015. It was a year ago. Today is April 13, 2016. All of this took place during a dark and stormy night. My demons began to haunt me. I killed her. I can't hold back my tears. I twitch at each of my breath. The world is crashing on my shoulders, wrath seems to befall me. Suddenly, the fireplace in front of me ignites. I am scared, like a small helpless and trapped animal. My whole body is shaking. My mind is clouded by fear, the fear of death. She came to punish me, she came to take revenge. Her sentence will be irrevocable. She will be ruthless. I would be helpless. Her face appears in the flames. Her face is ghostly and little human. She is terrifying. I approach slowly to her, I'm like hypnotized and can't stop my steps to guide me up to her. Once in front of the flames, my stomach is tied, my heart seems to stop. Intensely, I hold my breath, expecting the worst. I'm so sorry I have under-estimated the woman, thinking that it was only a weak and powerless creature. I had wrong beliefs over this poor little Mayline. I was always wrong. Man is equal to woman, it is not more or less weak for the simple reason that they are both human. My cruelty kills me, the revenge of Mayline's bitter but I deserve it. Women are not always the only heroine of tragic and terrifying stories. Women are strong. I should have known, I should have respected her.

"Mayline... I am deeply and infinitely sorry." I whisper desperately.

But I have to pay all of my mistakes. The flames of hell caught up to me, my demons nibble my soul. Mayline comes out of a sudden fire, and in a burst of hate and a hellish wrath take me with her to hell. I will burn with her, I'll be banned and I'll die of my wickedness. Her hands squizz my neck and force my head into the fire. An excruciating pain take possession of me. I feel every tissue of my skin slowly disintegrating under the effect of the flames. I scream, in vain. The pain seems to be insurmountable, the shreds of my skin drain into the fire. Mayline burns my soul already so infamous and devoid of humanity. Life is a cruel game. We should never under-estimated his opponent. I wanted to play. I lost. Without even understanding what happens to me I let death take me away. Mayline takes my impure soul with her. Mayline won't let me live the life that I have already taken from her. Mayline judges me unworthy to live and punishes me. A life of solitude, lies completed because of my mortal sins.

This mortal sin.