Chapter 4 : Emotional Turmoil
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[A/N : Italic text in general means the character is thinking it inside their head.

 The italic texts inside brackets are English translations of the dialogues]

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On the contrary, Neil felt quite happy after their fatal confrontation. Because he finally confessed his darkest fear to her, All his burden of guilt. He knows he is still hell guilty but he will make up to his Pari. He is now more certain than ever that she still loves him as much as he loves her. Noticing how she is not resisting his presence or his touch. Where his toned chest was glued to her bosoms. He so much desired to love her, adore her opening all of his heart. But knowing it must be one odd timing he had to keep himself in check. Nevertheless, resisting when she is this close to him is an immense challenge!

Blaming her perfectly feminine body that is incredibly inviting, Neil sighed helplessly. That beautiful aroma, the softness of her skin, her faint breathing on his neck, everything started to make him dizzy. She was softly sniffing like a little kitten hiding in his embrace. Recalling the tears he had brought upon her, a tide of intense love rushed within him. He desperately wanted to erase every ounce of pain he had inflicted and make her forget the sorrow.

With a lot of passion jumbling inside, Neil inhaled her feminine aroma and catastrophically sensed his reputation was in a grave danger.

As they had been hugging for a while now, their bodies glued to each other resulted in his manhood aligning with her belly button so she could probably feel the monster growing. Both their garments which are casual nightwear, are thin and weren't helping at all in the concealment.

Proving his apprehensions right, Avni being typically herself muttered to his dispair, "Ye kiyah! (what's this!)" Raising her perfect eyebrows a little.

A flabbergasted Neil immediately let her go from his hold. And a naive Avni just directly looked downwards, saying, "I think something is wrong with your trouser , shayed koi button tut ...

(I think something is wrong with your trouser, maybe a button broke...)" 

Almost was about to touch his waistline then she suddenly stopped..., "Gaya hain ya. . . . . (Broken..Or what...) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " Finally realizing where she was staring at, retracking her fingers!!

Blushing in crimson red, Avni turned around instantly with a quick jolt, " Oh shoots...I am so sorry , mujhe laga ke woh... (Oh shoots.. I am so sorry. It seemed to me that..)" Her lips won't move further in shyness as she fumbled bad!

Old habits die hard. She used to sew his shirt's buttons every time he would break them!

Neil chuckled at her cute antics and while he also blushed hard yet unable to resist teasing her, questioned, "Accha? Main kuch samjha nahin. (What? I didn't get it.)" Feigning a mischievous innocence, he hugged her from behind whispering, "Kiya laga tumhe aur kiya hain actually?(What did you think and what it is actually?)" Lord, this man can be really shameless at times like this.

Neil appeared to be heavily amused with the idea that his Pari is no longer that small little, innocent teenager. With the passing time, she grew, also her knowledge has increased dramatically! Back then when they were young she used to make his life hell by questioning him about all the awful things and no, the spicy erotic subjects weren't off the shelf!

"Neil aap na,Aap, aap , . . aap. . . . .. aap toh bade besharam ho..(Neil You, you, You... Oh god you are so shameless...)" A blushing Avni stuttered closing her eyes, faking an angry tone! Whilst in reality she was baffled to see this side of him! He is not being vague like in the past!

An amused Neil kept snuggling in her tightly so that she couldn't elude, "Kamal hain, dekh tum rahi thi aur ilzaam mujhpe?(How wonderful, You were the one staring yet I am the one getting accused?)" Hearing him rustling in that husky voice she blushed even harder and started to wriggle.

"Jaan srif aise sharmaogi? Kuch bologi nahin..??...(Jaan are you going to only blush like this? Won't you say anything??..?)" Smooching her earlobes, Neil continued his teasing session, trailing his nose tip on her neck. While due to her infamous wriggling Avni felt ticklish and soon a giggle bubbled from her, bringing back a sense of normalcy between them!

His sweet nothings always did wonders on her! How can it be any different tonight!

But then an abrupt shiver reminded her she can't forgive him this easily..!!! Even if she wants to, should she?

On the other hand, Neil was enjoying her shyness as he tightened his grip on her belly, remarking, "Ahh!? Bohot hansi aa rahi hain? Haan! Kaisi shararati ladki ho tum?(Someone is finding this very amusing, haa? What kind of a naughty girl are you..? That..)" His lips caressed near her earlobes, "Jo...Pati se dur jane ki kaushish kar rahi ho?

Itna intezaar karwaya...Thoda toh meri baho mein raho na Pari..I missed this...Missed you so much...(Trying to get away from your hubby? That too after making me wait so much...At least stay in my arms for a little bit longer Pari...I have missed you so much..)" With that, he hugged her even more dearly.

Avni did not stop him. Rather said something which pricked Neil's heart to an extent that he didn't know she could do in his wildest dreams!

Wah kitni asani yaad aa gaya inko ye mere pati hain! (Wow, how easily he reminds me that he is my husband!)

And she proceeded, voice colder than a frozen lake, "Kaunsa pati? (Which husband?)" She sounded so serious and cold that Neil gradually unclasped his hold around her and stood dumbstruck.

Catching him off guard Avni was brooding in her head, Do you really mean what you say Neil? Then maybe now it's time to take a bit of payback Mr NK for the past few years... the way you have tortured me, maybe not to that extent but how can I give in now? What if you abandon me again!

"Kitne pati hain tumharey? Avni majak chodo (How many husbands do you have? Stop joking Avni) " She heard his insecure voice laced with a hint of agitation. He still refused to believe her dismissive demeanor!

Without turning around, Avni answered calmly, "Mujhe toh kuch yaad nahin hona chahiye aapke hisab se. Khair.. You should leave now. For tonight I've had enough. It's late and we need to sleep... (According to you, I shouldn't anyway remember anything.

Whatever... You should leave now. I've had enough for tonight. It's late, and we need to sleep...)"

"Itni asani se nahin, aaj main ye kissa khatam karna chahta hoon, matlab kiya hain tumhara Avni? Saaf saaf kaho mujhe (No so soon, I will end this for once and all. Tell me clearly what the hell do you mean Avni?)" He retaliated with furious a hiss. 

Clenching his fist around her frail shoulders forcefully turned her around to face him. She started flinching and wriggling inside his arms again and of course, was unsuccessful in trying to get rid of his dominating grip!

"Maine kuch pucha hain tumse.(I have asked you something.)" Stating firmly, Neil placed his thumb on her chin and jerked her face upwards to compel her to meet his gaze, acutely trying to decipher the emotion in her almost teary eyes!

"Mujhe kuch nahin kehna, mujhe jo kehna tha main keh chuki hoon, Choriye mujhe , dard ho raha hain, Neil. (I have nothing to say. I've already expressed what I needed to. Now, Let go of me, it's paining, Neil.)" She cried her agony in a firm yet shattered voice.

"Aur mere dard ka kiya haa?

Nahin chorunga, maine kaha tum chahti kiya ho akhir be clear with me?(What about my pain ha? I won't leave you. What do you want after all? Be clear with me)" The stubborn in him also stood his ground.

"Ye toh saaf hain.. Main aisa koi bhi rishta nahin chahti, aisa kisi se rishta nahin chahti jinko srif apni maanmani karni aati ho, aise logo se mujhe koi talluk nahin rakhna jo srif apni marzi ke malik ho chahe isse dusro ko kitni hi taklif kyun na ho.

Aapko kiya lagta hain itna asaan hain mere liye sabkuch ke 6 saal ki tanhai ek raat mein guzar jaye? Kal subha aapko shayad kuch yaad bhi na ho!

(Isn't it clear..I don't want to be a part of any relationship, don't want to associate with someone so stubborn who only knows how to assert their own will, someone who only wants everything as per their way.

Doesn't even matter how much it can cause pain to others.

What do you think, it's this easy for me to let go of six years of loneliness in just one night?

Maybe tomorrow morning, you wake up and decide not to remember anything once again!)" Avni yearned for Neil to ease her insecurities and provide reassurance, promising to never abandon her again. But Neil being angry and disjointed with guilt misunderstood her completely.

"Kiya bakwas hain ye? Matlab kiya hain iss ka? Mujhse nata nahin rakhna chahti? To kisse rakhna chahti ho? Itni asani se? Itni asani se bol diya tumhe ye Jaan? Kaise? Mujhse koi rishta nahin Avni....Dard mujhe toh huwa hi nahin hain...

(What nonsense is this? What does this even mean? You don't want to keep any relationship with me?

Not me..Then whom do you want?

So easily? You said this so easily? How? No relationship with me... As if I was not hurting!?)" Lamenting, he took a pause of insecurity, his gaze growing distant, "Saaf saaf kaho na ki mujhse dill bhar gaya hain tumhara. Tabhi itni asani se hamare rishte ko todne ke liye keh rahi ho na tum? Kiya itna asan hain Jaan?

(Why not come clear that you're so bored of me!

That's why you are able to say with such ease that you want to break our relationship. Is it that easy Jaan?)" Couldn't continue with his voice cracking up so stopped for a few seconds.

Slightly startled, Avni stood there with radio silence while Neil was busy pondering.

He looked at her with his big scary eyes, pushing a sarcastic smile to mask the pain, "Fine! I will tell Daadi ma ki tumhare liye koi aisa dhund ke laaye.

No No, wait! Main khud dhoodh ta hoon na! Yehi sahi hoga mere liye, fantastic punishment! Saza dena chahti ho na mujhe tum?

(Fine! I will tell Grandma to find someone for you.

No, no, wait! I'll find someone myself! This will be justice for me, a fantastic punishment! Afterall, You want to punish me, don't you?)" Spewing those insufferable words, he jerked her off and finally let her free from his clasp!

An astonished Avni couldn't even conceive his words together in her mind let alone his whole sentence.

How wrong can one take simple words and twist them like this?

"BAKWAS! AAP KAR RAHE HO YA MAIN? Kaha se kaha leke jaa rahe ho baat ko? Hosh mein toh ho aap? Ye sab kiya bol rahe ho?

Itne din aapke bagair rehne ke baad maine bina aapke jeena sikh liya hain. Aur ye zaroori nahin ke zindagi mein koi na koi hona hi chahiye. Mujhe nahin chahiye koi aur. Magar haan, Mujhe acche se pata hain ladkio ke kami nahin hain aapke aas paas, Ali ne bataya hain mujhe, aapka rasta toh saaf ho gaya hain na?! Toh aap kijiye jo karna hain aapko.. Lekin mujhe inn sab mein mat ghasit na, main akeli jaisi bhi hoon bilkul theek hoon. Sssshhh... Aab iss bare mein koi aur behez nahin..

Anyway, good night for now!

(NONSENSE! ARE YOU UTTERING, OR ME? What the hell is wrong with you? Where are you even taking this conversation? Are you in your senses? What nonsense are you blabbering?

After living without you for so long, I've learned to live without you.

And it's not necessary to have someone in life. I don't want you or anyone else. But yes, I know there's no shortage of girls around you, Ali told me. Rather your route is clear now, right? So you do whatever you want!

But don't mix me in this, I am fine on my own.

Ssshhh..No more arguments on this..

Anyway, good night for now!)" Stated with an outraged temper, her black orbs burned like coal.

"SURE! The best-est night!" Gritting out with mocking sarcasm, Neil strode off as a shattered Avni heard his footsteps fading away.

Little did she realize that Neil took the entire incident and her choice of words far too seriously, creating a whole cosmos of misunderstanding in their already eroding relationship.

To Avni, due to feeling abandoned for an extended period, simply acknowledging his presence or love became challenging for her, making it difficult to anticipate how helpless he too might feel. Or the depth of his love. Because married at 14 Avni was young and after so many years Avni is still a little inexperienced in terms of these complexities while driven by her raw emotions. Especially when it comes to him!

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The next day went pretty hectic for Avni. She went to her classes with a heavily tired mind. Again deprived of her sleep Because she had to catch her class on time. Sharp 9 am. Yes, Neil did drop her!

A few silent days have passed by like this. Very little conversation emerged between Avneil.

Every day he goes to the Office and picks her up and then if required goes back to the office. Avni is surprised by the amount of work that man does. How can someone be this much of a workaholic!! And more than that, after that night he is trying to avoid her as much as he can. She could sense that well!

Good for both of them, she thinks. Why bother with a mistake made by two awful immature minds! But then the next moment, again, she craves for his love and wants to make things right! The game of time and patience is taking the lead.

With the driver steering the car, both Avneil were sitting at the back of the car silently. Neil is dressed in his sky blue formals with a deep navy blue vest and a white polka tie, making him look way too irresistible for Avni to ignore. Unbeknownst to the jitters of her heart, he is engrossed in a file. Not once he looked at Avni. But all the while Avni was indeed looking at him, without a wink.

She keenly noticed his beautiful eyes surrounded by those big eyelashes, reminiscing how she loved his eyelashes when she was young.

Then she shifted her gaze at his sharp ego of a perfect nose. Her husband's handsomeness is a known fact to her yet she can't help but admire him each time whenever she looks at him.

Especially when he looks so innocent reading that file.

Oh no, why is he looking at me?

Suddenly discovering him staring back at her, Avni gulped hard!

Neil with his stern stone expression, raised his neat brows, "Do you need something?"

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