I had no idea what went wrong. My judgment had always been right. But, with this unpredictable dog drawing nearer with a silly smile, even I began doubting myself.

With no help of my magic to usurp this human's mind, Raegan was something I could not comprehend.

"Goddess, you look beautiful today!" he greeted, too ardently for my liking.

It was truly a marvel how this foolish human was such an outstanding being that, I, who disliked troublesome things ended up on something I could not handle in my plate.

A full month had already passed in a breeze since he came here but his exceeding passion was honestly draining me. It was the first time I encountered such an overly zealous human. If not for his oddity that interested me, I would have thrown him out the first time he directed that stupid grin.

Moreover, Mhilrim did not believe me when I told her about this idiot. He actually pretended to be the quietest disciple of the Goddess of Knowledge when he was the polar opposite here.

I, too, thought that he was the type of person like Father - uselessly aloof while acting self-righteous - but no, he was a noisy brat.

"Your manners, Raegan," Siege, who was standing beside me, reprimanded.

Both men had been accompanying me these days. These two simply proved how wrong I was in my assessment of them. The last time I saw Siege's future during the tournament, I was speculating a wild side hidden but he was as uptight as an old matron.

"Stand straight, Raegan. Why can't you act like who you are outside instead of being an idiot in front of me?" I put the quill down and looked straight at him.

I had to admit that although he looked elegant and pure when he was wearing the temple uniform of Mhilrim's, black suited him better. But with that clothing and ebony hair, he almost seemed to blend into my study's interior. His eyes became more prominent in the darkness, reflecting the glow from the lit lamps. The ambient lighting sharpened his features, further proving that he was the most beautiful human alive. Granting that he could just stop spouting nonsense and that aggravating curve of his lips.

"Pardon me, my goddess. I don't want to sound insolent but how can you compare to others? You are the only Goddess of War who possessed the infinite darkness. You are the full moon that no stars would even dare to outshine..."

Raegan continued his charade that I almost wanted to be deaf. Sometimes I wondered what I fed him to act like that. I did ask him why before but he only smiled vaguely and continued his endless chatter. I turned to Siege who stood imposingly still.

"You stay here while I drag this dimwit outside."

"Of course, your holiness," Siege replied.

I got up and Siege handed me my robe. Fortunately, Raegan already shut his mouth or else I would let him choke from my smoke again.

Siege was quick on his feet. He opened the balcony doors while I and Reagan stepped outside. I waved my hand and spun the wind until it came into shape. It churned on the center of my feet like a carpet made of shadow.

Before I could tell Reagan to hop in, he was already beside me. The carpet could fit two people but with its form resembling a cloud, I figured he would be more apprehensive.

Come to think about it... This was the first time I had a companion using my magic as a ride. I never had the need to share with anyone before. 

How strange.  It didn't feel bad as I reckoned.

***

My body froze from the strangeness of the warmth enveloping me. This sudden action combined with the words he spoke numbed me all over. I gathered my wits and finally pushed him away.

"What the hell is going on?" 

"My goddess, you're still the same. Your anger only accentuates the beauty you hold---"

"Who are you?" I interrupted but deep inside I already knew the answer. What I wanted was confirmation from his own mouth.

"Don't you remember me? You promised you will not forget me but," he paused. A sigh followed, making his appearance more downcast. "It turns out to be a pipe dream--- hold on. Maybe you also have your soul sealed as well? Is that why you can't remember me?"

This chirpy tone of speaking had always been unfitting for his baritone voice, nevertheless, I would want to listen to it all day. This was a chance bestowed on me to compensate for my mistakes and I must never hesitate.

"Are... Are you R-Raegan?" my voice cracked, apprehension tingling my nerves.

"So you do remember! I'm so glad, my goddess. I thought I would never see you again but the True God did not turn away from his vow and so did I. No matter how many years will pass, I will always be waiting for you." He held my hand and his lips were already pressed on it. "My life will always be for you."

My eyes stung recalling a certain memory with those exact words. In the past, he showered me with love when I had no idea what it was. However, it was already too late before I could fathom his significance in my life.

How ironic that I was given the magic of foresight yet my foolish heart floundered in hindsight.

Horse hooves swiftly disrupted the surroundings. It was only then I noticed Heath standing on our side. His mouth hung open like any moment a fly could enter and he would not even realize it.

Did he hear everything? I wanted to slap myself. It would be more impossible if he did not.

The carriage stopped right before I could react. There was an urgent need to go back but then again, what of it?

I appeared to have forgotten Father was currently ignoring me. He would probably not wait for me at the doorsteps with an anxious look just like the previous times.

I signaled the coachman and he went on his way. I faced Heath once more, contemplating what to say. I drew a heavy breath and spoke, "Heath, can you leave us for a moment?"

"No---"

"Leave." It was Raegan who uttered the word. His voice gave a sense of menace, making Heath cower in an instant.

That reaction made my brows furrow. It was as if Heath feared him.

"Only a couple of minutes, Heath. I have to talk to him," I urged.

There was worry in his eyes but he agreed in the end. He was out of earshot but just to be certain. I pulled Raegan farther away from the waiting station before facing him once more.

Though his exposed pupil was still gray, this time I was undoubtedly convinced this was indeed him.

"Reagan, tell me what happened after I died. Why are there no records of that bitch? Why is she only known as the queen and not as the new goddess?"

"I... Pardon me, my goddess. I cannot reveal anything for I have sworn an oath with her holiness, Mhilrim." Pensiveness laced his voice. I always had to commend him for that. He knew when to be serious when needed.

"My sister? Don't tell me that bitch persuade her in the end?"

"No, my goddess. Her holiness had sided with you."

"Ha! My side? You must be making a fool out of me. Won't she continue playing the neutrality card than help me deal with that Amica bitch?"

Mhilrim had always been a hypocrite pacifier. She was known as the arbitrator among mortals and Amicas but when it was the disadvantage of her people, she would not move.

It was the race under her that started this whole mess yet she blamed and dared to kill me when I retaliated.

I still remembered when she stabbed me with that sword artifact using her own hands. We both knew one should be alive for the other to live. It was the main reason my soul was only sealed and not obliterated when I was killed the first time.

"I'm telling the truth, my goddess. Her Majesty Rei---"

"Don't you dare utter that bitch's name," I snapped.

"Apologies, my goddess."

"If you can't tell me what happened then what about you? Is Alistair your descendant?"

"No, my goddess," he replied.

"Is that so? How come you look so much alike and why is your soul residing---" My words stopped as my eyes narrowed from what I had failed to discern earlier. "Why is your soul like that?"

"What do you mean, my goddess?"

With a part of my magic returning, I was able to recognize the enchantment on his body. The haziness of his soul became visible in my eyes but what made me unable to speak for a moment was the color of it. Mortals had golden souls, Amicas had white, and Cattivos were as black as his.

"You have an enchantment, Raegan. Have you become a Cattivo?"

Silence shrouded us. Raegan was born a mortal with enormous talent. He was on par with Amicas even if without magic and his strength could match a Cattivo without the ritual.

When I returned, I gave my people the way how to become a Cattivo without my help. Whereas, Raegan was long dead by then.

"How?" I questioned, tension rising within me. "Is that why you have a broken soul? Have you made a mistake that resulted in this?"

He only lowered his head as he answered.

"You won't live long like this, Raegan," I stated the grimness of this matter.

Broken souls should not be able to reincarnate but if they did, they would suffer from short lifespans and illnesses.

"It's alright, my goddess. I had lived long enough in the past."

"No. That was not a life worth living. You deserve to be happy this time around."

"But my happiness is only when you are here, my goddess," he confessed.

Words refused to leave my mouth. I had always thought his statements were a sign of loyalty but knowing what he all did, this was far from that.

I could not sincerely reciprocate his feelings for I did not deserve it. Nevertheless, it would not stop me from giving all my gratitude and loyalty for all I owed to him. This life will be the time to return the favor.

"Who cast your enchantment, Raegan?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I cannot tell."

Exasperation quickly filled me in. Will I really not get any answers?

"But please don't worry, my goddess. This enchantment is for my sake."

"Of course, I know that," I said but my eyes remained on the torn pieces of his soul.

It was the evidence that it was an unprepared soul forced to be reincarnated. Was it by his sheer will to return or someone was behind it?

Doubts formed in my mind. It was a great coincidence that he was alive in the same timeline as me but the fact that we were able to meet despite that?

Is it really a coincidence?

"Reagan, do you---"

"Argh!" Raegan groaned in pain. His body thrashed in a second but he still pulled me close. Heavy panting and pulsating heartbeat arose from our close proximity.

"What's going on?"

"He's returning back."

I had not expected an answer but someone did. Heath was already behind us. He tried to get Raegan away but he was driven away by a single hand.

"M-my g-goddess..." There was an intake of breath. Sweat beaded on his neck and I could not get away from him. His weight became heavier and we were now kneeling on the pavement. "Be... B-be careful, my goddess. It's... It's not just us who... has r-r-returned."

My hands stilled as his hold gradually weakened. This time, I was able to push him away.

The gray pupils dimmed and fluttered close. I caught him on my body but I still fell on my back from his body.

It did not take a minute before he fluttered his eye open. Disappointment coursed through me when the undisguised annoyance was back.

Realizing our position, Alistair immediately jumped up on his feet but before he could do anything else, he fainted once more.

With Heath's alertness, he caught Alistair right away. Our eyes met and a tacit understanding flashed between us.

"Should we get a spare room or a doctor?" I asked.

"A room will do."

***

It took us a while to find an available inn. Heath was carrying Alistair on his side like a drunk person to avoid suspicion while I requested a single room. The receptionist handed me the key and we went upstairs. It was a decent room with a dining set and a double-size bed.

A knock came from outside not a minute later.  I opened the door to see a young woman carrying a tray of tea.

"G-g-good e-e-e-evening, Miss and S-s-s-sir."

My brow arched from her nervous chatter. As far I knew, all of us were far from scary based on countenance alone. It was not vanity to say that I, Heath, and Alistair were good-looking for it was a fact.

"Come in." I widened the opening.

The woman hurried and placed it inside. She was sending odd looks towards Heath and Alistair. The former was adjusting the bed and covered the latter with a blanket.

She returned her gaze to me. Her look became complex but her face had already turned into a rotten tomato.

It took me a couple of seconds before it clicked. Brothels were not the only place used for pleasure after all. Knowing that we only took a single bedroom could make anyone's imagination go rampant. In addition, one of us appeared drunk.

I could only hope this inn would be discreet and would not presume we had drugged someone. Nevertheless, just to be safe, I took out my pouch.

"Come here," I said.

"W-w-what may I h-help you, Miss?"

I smiled and handed several grands in her hand. "I hope you can keep this a secret. Please also share this with the receptionist lady and relay that we wished she won't utter a word about this. Or else..."

My smile gradually turned threatening and the woman gaped.

"I-I-I-I understand, Miss! I-If y-you may e-excuse me."

The worker hastily exited the room. I locked the door close. When I turned back, Heath was already sitting while pouring tea.

I took the seat across from him. The tea was still steaming hot when it reached my lips but that was the way I liked it.

"Should I explain or do you go first?" I proposed.

"Please do the honors."

"Alright, I'll answer three of your questions so think wisely," I said.

"Huh? Why only three? Isn't---"

I put down the teacup with force. My lips had already straightened. There was so much I had to think about. Raegan mentioned it was not just us. Aside from him and Father, there could be more.

I had to know what exactly was going on and I had to go home fast but I could not leave. Heath had a blabbermouth and it was better to sew it close.

"Ask."

"So...Umm... Are you really the goddess?"

"If you're talking about the goddess of the Amica, I am not."

In this era, only Mhilrim was known as the 'goddess' after all. The glory I once had was nowhere. My title had long been lost and dragged to the pits.

"But... he referred to you as 'goddess', right?" he questioned, those glacial eyes filled with bewilderment.

"Who says there can only be one goddess? And that's already your second question."

"Wait, that's unfair!"

"We agreed with three questions," I reasoned.

There was a hint of stubbornness on his face but in the end, he let it be. "If that's the case, are you the Goddess of War?"

My mind went blank as soon as the last syllable was enunciated. It had been so long since I heard that title. 

"How do you know that?" I spoke each word with emphasis as I struggled to maintain my composure. 

This was a forgotten history someone like him should not know. Even the word of mouth from traveling bards and texts from the ancient libraries had erased my existence as the Goddess of War. What remained was the dark tales of the Fallen God and no one had yet to connect those two together.

"It's still my turn." His mouth formed into a grin. "So is it?"

"I don't want to answer. Instead, let's do two questions each. What I only want to know was how did Alistair become like that and how frequent it is."

"You're really so unfair---"

"Answer."

"Fine, fine. Has Alistair's brusqueness affected you just a day?" The lopsided smile became more prominent. "For your first question, I don't know where it started and secondly, it happened only at every beginning of the full moon cycle."

I waited for him to speak more but instead, he was leisurely sipping his tea.

"Then?" I prompted.

"That's it. I answered your question, right?" A small chuckle resounded as his eyes twinkled.

How cheeky. I could not get used to those identical shades of pupils could be so bright. It had always been filled with madness and despair every time I met someone with that exact colored eyes like mine.

On the other this made me re-evaluate him. Regardless of his initial shock from earlier, he was quick to recover from all of this. Not to mention, I presumed he was obtuse but he was able to outwit me with a loophole. 

The ability to make me eat my words reminded me of someone. Raegan's words echoed once again in my head. Despite that, I refuse to believe my forming suspicion. How could that be possible that she would have changed to another gender? Besides, my sister was born with natural violet eyes. It was her identity, not like the winter color that Heath had.

"Just kidding. Don't glare too hard at me. This relapse happens only for an hour or so. However, what you must know is the fact that he was not always like that. This was the first time he became this way. He always acts like another person which I now know is true. He is the Raegan you mistook when we first met, right?"

Silence was confirmation so I did not bother answering. I glanced at the wall clock. It was high time to leave and I could postpone it any further.

"Perhaps we can talk about this next time and by then, I hope you will seal your mouth. If not, I don't know what will happen to you and your loved ones." My lips curled into a sinister one. "I suppose you must know this is not a warning from a lady but from a goddess."

I got up from my seat and finally left.

***

It took me half an hour to return to the estate. The knights were gradually getting used to sneaking out that they were not surprised anymore.

I hurried my pace, preparing myself what excuses to say to Father. Except that, Father was not lurking at the main entrance just as I had predicted. Only the uniformed butler stood at the door.

Was he even aware I left or he was still continuing to ignore me?

"Good evening, my lady. Thankfully you returned safe," the butler said upon seeing me.

"Where's Father?"

"The Baron would not be able to come home tonight," he answered.

Frowning, I replied, "Why is that?"

"There was an urgent business trip, my lady."

I squinted my eyes but let it pass. In truth, I had no idea if it was a lie just to avoid me or was the truth. How I hope it was the latter for I wished that Father would never return to his previous self.

***

hello, lovelies~ If you see a shift in pov like how I used 'her' instead of 'I', let me know. My brain can't afford multitasking writing two different stories with different points of view ╰(▔∀▔)╯

Until next time <3