▬▬▬ CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN ▬▬▬

Who... the fuck... is Lorenzo Berkshire??? While I was looking for more books to read on Wattpad, I kept on seeing some fanfics about a dude called Lorenzo Berkshire??? Apparently he's a Harry Potter character but I've literally never heard of him from the books...

Is he a fanfic character?? Cuz omg that means ppl have been making fanfics about a fanfic which is actually kinda cool. But seriously, who is he, where's he from, and is the original book any good???

Anyways, there's a nice lil Linny bonus at the end! 🥰

THE QUESTION OF THE IMMORTAL sorceress kept Esmerelda up every night. 

She had no idea who it could be. Her first immediate guess was Voldemort due to the 'immortal' part (since that guy seemed desperate for immortality for some stupid reason), but he didn't exactly fit the 'sorceress' part.

Was it someone from the wizarding world? The chances of that were extremely low, so it had to be someone from the divine one. She would've done some research to try and figure it out, except she was really busy with her spell. 

It took her weeks to finally complete the damn thing.

Before that, she was able to successfully see through the eyes of whoever the spell was cast on without killing anyone which was great and all... except she didn't know how to make it stop. Nor did she really figure out how she could make the other person activate it. Nor did she figure out how to stop her eyes from bleeding out every time she did it. Or how to stop nearly passing out from over-exertion. Or—

You get the point.

But now, in the chilling beginnings of February, now Esmerelda had finally accomplished it. For weeks she spent as much time as she could in the forbidden forest—occasionally skipping classes and forgoing homework, but who cared about that anyways—and asking the herd of centaurs to be her voluntary test subjects.

(It was perfectly safe of course! It was only in the very early stages of her spell crafting did the first couple of hundred undead/monstrous test subjects brutally die! So no centaurs were harmed in the final stages of the spell crafting process!)

The only problem was that she needed a living human subject. The sole purpose for this spell was for Sirius' sake after all, and he wasn't built the same way as centaurs, monsters, or dead people. She couldn't even ask a demigod for the same reasons too (plus, Ethan was going to be busy prepping for exams and his next debate and she knew he would ditch it all at the drop of a hat if she needed his help with anything).

But... which human to test it on...?

Esmerelda's eyes swept across the Room of Requirement where the DA members were waiting patiently for Harry's lesson to begin. She scrutinized every potential test subject—whoops, she meant 'student'—mentally debating which one would be the perfect mortal to try it on. Or maybe she could get a whole group of them and observe the different effects? Or—

"—ssie?"

She snapped herself out her deep thoughts to look up at Cedric.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"Um," the older boy swallowed anxiously. "Why are you looking at everyone like that?"

"Like what?" She blinked.

"Like you want to dissect us," Hermione piped in, also shooting the girl a disturbed look.

"Dissect—? Oh, no! Gods, no, I would never," Esmerelda let out a nervous laugh. "I was just... wondering if my training methods had made a difference on everyone!"

"They sure did," Ron muttered, wincing at the memory. His stamina had increased to the point that he could run for twenty minutes straight, his arms felt a little firmer than before the training started, and his reaction time was so good that he was now one of the best players in the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

So really, her training methods did make a good difference on not just him, but everyone else too... but it also made them extremely terrified of her. Who would've thought there was actually such a thing as a fucked up Hufflepuff...

Suddenly, everyone's attention turned to Harry when he started clapping.

"Spread out everyone, today's going to be a special lesson!" He announced, grinning with excitement.

"Ooh, is it going to be Patronuses?" Someone asked eagerly.

"It is," he confirmed and everyone broke out into excited murmurs.

Naturally, everyone did as they were told and spread out a little more throughout the room. Esmerelda was somewhere near the front, with Ginny and Cedric at either sides of her.

"The Patronus Charm is the only way to protect yourself against dementors or lethifolds, but it has to be a corporeal Patronus for it to work. Incorporeal Patronuses are basically shapeless blobs of light. They won't do much, but everyone's probably going to end up conjuring a bunch of incorporeal Patronuses before they get to the real thing, so don't be too disappointed if that's all you get today." He said.

Anthony from Ravenclaw brought his hand up.

"Yeah?" Harry said.

"It comes in the form of an animal right? Do you get to pick which?" He asked hopefully.

Harry shook his head. "No, sorry. When the Patronus comes out, it takes the form of the animal that represents you the most."

"What's yours?" Luna asked curiously.

"A stag," he answered quietly, before clearing his throat. "So none of you will be able to tell which animal comes out. Now onto how to cast it. That's the hard part. You have to think really hard on your happiest memory—the happier and clearer the memory, the more powerful it would be."

Zacharias rose a questioning brow. "That's all we have to do?"

"It's not as easy as it sounds," Harry told him seriously. "It took me forever to cast just an incorporeal Patronus because I couldn't think of the right memory."

"Your life must suck then," the Hufflepuff snorted.

"You got no idea," Harry muttered under his breath before continuing on with the lesson. "But anyways, once you've got that happy memory locked and you manage to conjure your first corporeal Patronus, things get easier for you over time. It starts to become more natural. The next step after you thought of your happiest memory is to begin drawing circles with your wand kind of like you're creating a portal."

Esmerelda could already see a few people mimic the action quietly.

"Lastly, you say the incantation, which is Expecto Patronum." He finished. 

A younger student rose their hand. "Can you show us your Patronus?" They asked eagerly, and everyone perked up. 

Harry didn't really have a choice at this point since all eyes were on him expectantly. Silently nodding, he began his demonstration. He aimed his wand up and waved it around in small, quick circles and cried out the incantation, "Expecto patronum!" 

A brilliant white light shot out from the tip of his wand. It soon formed into the large shape of a stag. It pranced around the room as everyone's eyes followed it, wide with amazement. 

Harry waited until it faded away, and the room darkened once more. 

"Now let's get started," he said, and everyone went to work. 

The room was full of cries of 'expecto patronum' as everyone worked their hardest to accomplish the charm. Even Zacharias was determined to get it down, uncharacteristically quiet and focusing on his spellwork. 

Even though Esmerelda didn't exactly have a need for it, she still wanted to get it done just as much as everyone else. She was curious about what sort of animal would represent her most; would it be a pomeranian like her animagus (she hoped not) or would it be something else? 

(Honestly, she was hoping for something cooler. Like a deadly bear or a tyrannosaurus rex!)

She thought of her happiest memory: the end of the Second Titan War. Years of fighting ended and it was peace at last. Most of her friends were alive, she and Ethan got together, and Percy got the gods to finally pay their fucking child support. 

Giddy with anticipation she extended her hand out and exclaimed, "Expecto patronum!" 

But nothing happened. She wasn't too upset with it, she expected it after all. This was supposed to be a really tough spell, so of course she wouldn't get it down right away. 

She tried again, thinking harder on the happy memory. "Expecto patronum!" 

It was the same result as last time. Again, not a big deal. But she kept trying, over and over again for what felt like hours, but the results were still the same. 

All around her, she could hear everyone crying out the same thing, but their results were far better than hers. Most of the class managed to get incorporeal Patronuses while a select few actually got the spell down. 

Like Cedric for one. His Patronus was a honey badger. It was scampering around the room while Cho's Patronus, a swan, soared around the ceiling. Luna, one of the first people to accomplish it, had conjured a bright hare that was hopping alongside Ginny's horse. Ron, much to Hermione's disbelief, had summoned his as well. It was a jack russell terrier. 

"Harry, I think I'm doing it!" Seamus yelled. Esmerelda's head snapped to him worriedly and her stomach sank when she saw the glimpse of a white fox coming from his wand before it disappeared. "Look—ah—it's gone... But it was definitely something hairy, Harry!"

Hermione looked at her own Patronus, an otter, fondly. "They are sort of nice, aren't they?"

They totally were in Esmerelda's opinion, but she wished she could do it too. 

She had no idea what was wrong with her. She hadn't gotten this much trouble doing a spell since her second year. 

She tried every happy memory she could think of: the end of the war, Nico telling her she was his reincarnated mother, all the dates she spent with Ethan, all the conversations she had with her father, the times she spent with her friends, even the old memories of her deceased siblings and the times when Alabaster still loved her. 

But none of them were good enough. 

"You okay?" Cedric asked her, noticing how down she looked. 

"Uh, yeah," she lied. "The spell's just frustrating me."

He could tell. It was almost unbelievable that she was having trouble with this, especially since he had actually managed to do it. Esmerelda had always been a magical savant in his eyes, so it was honestly shocking that there was a spell that actually left her stuck. 

"Harry said it was complicated spell, took him months to do it," he assured. "So don't worry too much. You'll get it down over time." 

Esmerelda nodded her head glumly, wanting desperately to believe that was it. But she knew that practice wasn't the problem here. 

Because she knew deep down that no matter how many happy memories she had, they would always be tainted—either by death, betrayal, pain, it didn't matter. There will always be a tragedy hidden behind every happy moment in her life.

That was why she could never create a Patronus. 

Suddenly the door of the Room Requirement opened and closed again and the room slowly fell silent. Esmerelda turned away from Cedric to look over, and spotted Dobby rushing forward to grasp Harry's robes. 

Something's wrong, she realized.

Dobby's eyes were wide with terror and he was trembling. Some members of the DA must have realized it too because all the Patronuses people managed to conjure had faded away into a silver mist, leaving the room much darker than before. 

Harry, however, didn't realize anything amiss. 

"Hi, Dobby!" He greeted the elf. "What are you—what's wrong?"

"Harry Potter, sir..." Dobby squeaked, trembling from head to foot, "Harry Potter, sir... Dobby has come to warn you... but the house-elves have been warned not to tell..."

He ran headfirst at the wall. Harry, who had some experience of Dobby's habits of self-punishment, made to seize him, but Dobby merely bounced off the stone, cushioned by his eight hats. Hermione and a few of the other girls let out squeaks of fear and sympathy.

"What's happened, Dobby?" Harry asked, grabbing the elf's tiny arm and holding him away from anything with which he might seek to hurt himself.

"Harry Potter... she... she..." Dobby hit himself hard on the nose with his free fist. Harry seized that too.

"Oh, shit," Esmerelda blurted out, coming to the conclusion everyone else probably reached. "Are you talking about Umbridge?" 

Dobby nodded, then tried to bang his head off Harry's knees; Harry held him at bay.

"What about her?" He asked. "Dobby—she hasn't found out about this—about us—about the D.A.?"

Dobby tried to kick himself. 

"Is she coming?" Harry asked quietly.

Dobby let out a howl, and began beating his bare feet hard on the floor. "Yes, Harry Potter, yes!"

Harry straightened up and looked around at the motionless, terrified people gazing at the thrashing elf.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" Harry bellowed. "RUN!"

Esmerelda would've Mist traveled away, but there were too many people around to witness it so she did the next best thing, darted for the door. Luckily she was fast, because she would've been squished to death by the panicking crowd running after her. The second fastest person to escape the room was Cedric, who was already sprinting down the hall with her. 

"The Hufflepuff dorms are too far," Esmerelda told him. "We should hide somewhere in the library!" 

Cedric was about to agree with her until the skidded to a stop, hearing voices rounding the corner. 

His face went pale. "Oh shit," he cursed. "That's—"

"—Use me as an excuse!" Esmerelda cut him off, her mind panicking when she saw the flutter of robes appear. She quickly shifted into her animagus form as Cedric watched with big eyes. 

His jaw dropped, "What are you—" 

"Ahah!" Draco exclaimed, grinning wildly. "Caught you, Diggo—what the bloody hell is that?" 

The pomeranian on the floor barked. 

"Um," Cedric stammered. "It's a dog." 

"Yeah no shit, I'm asking you why it's here," Draco sneered. 

"I found it," Cedric lied. "I was going to take... uh, her to Professor Hagrid." 

"Yeah right," Draco scoffed. "You're coming with me." 

Esmerelda let out a series of angry barks as she hurried forward to paw angrily at Draco's pristine black shoes, leaving tiny little scratch marks that she hoped were noticeable. 

"Hey!" Draco stumbled back, glaring at her. "Keep away from me, mutt!" 

She tried leaping up at him to claw his eyes off, but she barely managed a hop. Cedric hurried to scoop her up as he followed Draco to the headmaster's office. 

The office was full of people. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, his expression serene, the tips of his long fingers together. Professor McGonagall stood rigidly beside him, her face extremely tense. Fudge was there too, rocking to and fro on his toes beside the fire, apparently immensely pleased with the situation. Kingsley Shacklebolt and another wizard were positioned on either side of the door like guards, and the freckled, bespectacled form of Percy Weasley hovered excitedly beside the wall, a quill and a heavy scroll of parchment in his hands, apparently poised to take notes. Harry was also there, glaring at every adult figure in the room.

Even better, was that Umbridge was there too. Usually Esmerelda wouldn't be excited from the sight of her, but this was the one time that her presence was a good thing because if there was one thing she knew about the heinous little witch, was that she hated dogs. 

The look on Umbridge's face when she saw Cedric carrying her nearly made her laugh. 

"W-w-what is that?!" She shrieked, pointing a shaky finger at her. 

"It's a dog," Cedric answered blandly. 

"I found him in the hallway with it, ma'am," Draco said, standing tall and proud. "Apparently, he found it and was planning on taking it to Hagrid. I reckon he actually sneaked the thing in here and perhaps brought it for a little show and tell for Potter's stupid club." 

It was as if his words went into one ear and flew out of the other, Umbridge was staring at Esmerelda in such horror that the girl was beginning to think she was actually afraid of dogs than hated them.

"Get—get that thing out of here!" She said in a shrilly voice. 

Esmerelda let out a squeaky snarl and Umbridge actually started to edge away. 

"Now, now, Dolores, a dog that size won't be any harm for us," Fudge said, giving Esmerelda a narrow-eyed look as if he was warning her to stay put. "Keep the boy and the dog in here. I'd like Mr. Diggory to stay here and witness what happens to those who go against the Ministry." 

Umbridge looked like she wanted to disobey, but she grudgingly nodded and shooed Draco off. 

Once he was gone, Fudge directed his smug look onto Harry. 

"Well," he said. "Well, well, well..."

Harry gave him a glare in response.

"Well, Potter... I expect you know why you are here?"

Harry glanced off to the side where Dumbledore was at before responding: "No." 

"I beg your pardon?" Fudge said.

"No," he repeated firmly.

"You don't know why you are here?"

"No, I don't," he said.

"So you have no idea," Fudge began in a voice laced with sarcasm. "Why Professor Umbridge has brought you to this office? You are not aware that you have broken any school rules?"

"School rules?" He said. "No."

"Or Ministry decrees?" Fudge added angrily.

"Not that I'm aware of," Harry replied casually.

Fudge swerved over to Cedric, who was still holding to Esmerelda. "And what about you, Mr. Diggory? Do you know why you've been brought here?"

"I suppose it's because of the dog?" Cedric asked innocently. 

"No!" He exploded. "And watch that cheek of yours, boy! I've read that sham interview you and Potter conducted! Think you're quite smart, do you? After everything I have done for you..." 

"What are you talking about?" Cedric gave him a weird look. "You haven't done anything for me except force me to take a photograph with you for the Daily Prophet. The most you did was was give me an autograph, which I never asked for, by the way—"

"—Quiet!" Fudge barked, his face red with rage and possibly embarrassment. 

Esmerelda let out a laugh which kind of sounded funny in her puppy form. Fudge gave her a look of disgust. 

"Someone ought to muzzle you," he muttered. 

Esmerelda let out an angry bark and jumped at him, landing right onto his face. Her tiny claws and canines dug into every inch of skin she could find. Fudge was screeching in terror, his voice nearly shattering her eardrums. The man stumbled around stupidly, the only one really trying to help him was Umbridge, who wasn't much help since she was too scared that the dog would go for her next. 

This was the best day ever in Esmerelda's opinion—if you ignored the crushing realization that she didn't have any decent happy memories to properly conjure a Patronus or the fact that the DA was probably going to be forcefully disbanded. 

For years she had been aggravated by the fact that her animagus wasn't a huge, scary creature that she constantly prayed for it to be. A tiny little teacup pomeranian was nothing to fear, but at this moment, with Fudge and Umbridge screaming bloody murder because of her, she felt like the great big beast she always wished to be. 

Oh I hope I'm actually drawing blood! She thought excitedly as she tugged at his greying hair and gnawed on his forehead. 

Suddenly, she was gently pulled away from him. There were no hands holding her, though. Instead, she was floating in mid air, thanks to Dumbledore who was already directing her back to Cedric. 

Nooooo! She barked in protest, her limbs flailing around so it looked like she was running in mid air. I wasn't done! Dumbledore, put me back, I was gonna go to Umbitch next! 

But she was already plopped down into Cedric's awaiting arms, much to her greatest disappointment. 

Fudge was breathing heavily, his face full of little scratches and bite marks and tufts of his greying hair were laying on his shoulders. 

"Why didn't you help me?!" Fudge demanded from Kingsley and the other wizard. "I brought you here for extra protection!"

"Well sir," Kingsley said calmly. "I didn't think a great wizard like yourself would need protecting from a... pomeranian." 

Fudge's face turned even redder. Off at the corner, Percy Weasley was rapidly writing down on his piece of parchment. Esmerelda had no idea what he was writing there, probably something like 'Fudge got his ass beat by a puppy'. 

"I want that—that thing," Fudge spat, pointing at Esmerelda who was struggling to lift up her middle finger up. "Executed!" 

 "Oh don't be so over-dramatic!" Professor McGonagall rolled her eyes. "The last execution you tried to do on an innocent animal didn't end very well, remember?"

"It attacked me!" 

"Grow up," she gave him a dry look. "Do you have any idea how any more ridiculous you would look calling for the execution of a puppy?"

Said puppy let out an evil sounding laugh, rolling around in Cedric's arms. 

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Ahem, Cornelius," he said. "Perhaps we should continue whatever it is you brought us here for? Minerva and I are quite busy people after all..." 

"I brought you here," he heaved. "Because an illegal student organization has been discovered within this school! Isn't that right, Potter!"

"Nope." Harry said. 

"I think, Minister," Umbridge panted, still breathing heavily after the attack. "We might make better progress if I fetch our informant."

"Yes, yes, do," he nodded, glancing maliciously at Dumbledore as Umbridge left the room. "There's nothing like a good witness, is there, Dumbledore?"

"Nothing at all, Cornelius," Dumbledore replied, inclining his head.

There was a wait of several minutes, in which nobody looked at each other, then Umbridge returned, gripping Cho's curly-haired friend Marietta by the shoulder. For some odd reason, she was hiding her face in her hands.

Cedric's jaw dropped. "Marietta? Oh come on..." 

"Don't be scared, dear, don't be frightened," Umbridge said in a soft voice, patting her on the back. "It's quite all right, now. You have done the right thing. The minister is very pleased with you. He'll be telling your mother what a good girl you've been. Marietta's mother, Minister," she added, looking up at Fudge. "Is Madam Edgecombe from the Department of Magical Transportation. Floo Network office—she's been helping us police the Hogwarts fires, you know."

"Jolly good, jolly good!" Fudge said heartily. "Like mother, like daughter, eh? Well, come on, now, dear, look up, don't be shy, let's hear what you've got to—galloping gargoyles!"

As Marietta raised her head, Fudge leapt backward in shock, nearly landing himself in the fire. He cursed and stamped on the hem of his cloak, which had started to smoke, and Marietta gave a wail and pulled the neck of her robes right up to her eyes, but not before the whole room had seen that her face was horribly disfigured—even worse than Fudge. 

There were terrible purple pustules all over her face that formed the word 'SNEAK'.

"Never mind the spots now, dear," Umbridge said impatiently. "Just take your robes away from your mouth and tell the Minister—"

But Marietta gave another muffled wail and shook her head frantically.

"Oh, very well, you silly girl, I'll tell him," Umbridge snapped. She hitched her sickly smile back onto her face and said, "Well, Minister, Miss Edgecombe here came to my office shortly after dinner this evening and told me she had something she wanted to tell me. She said that if I proceeded to a secret room on the seventh floor, sometimes known as the Room of Requirement, I would find out something to my advantage. I questioned her a little further and she admitted that there was to be some kind of meeting there. Unfortunately at that point this hex," she waved impatiently at Marietta's concealed face. "Came into operation and upon catching sight of her face in my mirror the girl became too distressed to tell me any more."

"Well, now," Fudge said, giving the girl a terrible attempt of a comforting look. "It is very brave of you, my dear, coming to tell Professor Umbridge, you did exactly the right thing. Now, will you tell me what happened at this meeting? What was its purpose? Who was there?"

But Marietta would not speak. She merely shook her head again, her eyes wide and fearful.

"Haven't we got a counterjinx for this?" Fudge asked Umbridge impatiently, gesturing at Marietta's face. "So she can speak freely?"

"I have not yet managed to find one," Umbridge admitted. "But it doesn't matter if she won't speak, I can take up the story from here. You will remember, Minister, that I sent you a report back in October that Potter had met a number of fellow students in the Hog's Head in Hogsmeade—"

"—And what is your evidence for that?" Professor McGonagall cut in.

"I have testimony from Willy Widdershins, Minerva, who happened to be in the bar at the time. He was heavily bandaged, it is true, but his hearing was quite unimpaired," Umbridge said smugly. "He heard every word Potter said and hastened straight to the school to report to me—"

"—Oh, so that's why he wasn't prosecuted for setting up all those regurgitating toilets!" She exclaimed sharply. "What an interesting insight into our justice system!"

"Blatant corruption!" One of the paintings roared. "The Ministry did not cut deals with petty criminals in my day, no sir, they did not!"

You should hire my boyfriend! Esmerelda yipped. He loves destroying bad people's lives!

"Mr. Diggory was there as well," Umbridge continued, sending the boy a scathing look. "But I decided to give him the benefit of doubt—surely he wouldn't betray his Ministry, would he? But I was mistaken." 

Cedric gave her an innocent smile in response.

"The purpose of Potter's meeting with these students," she added. "Was to persuade them to join an illegal society, whose aim was to learn spells and curses the Ministry has decided are inappropriate for school-age—"

"—I think you'll find you're wrong there, Dolores," Dumbledore said quietly.

"Oho!" Fudge exclaimed. "Yes, let's hear the latest cock-and-bull story designed to pull Potter out of trouble! Go on, then, Dumbledore, go on—Willy Widdershins was lying, was he? Or was it Potter's identical twin in the Hog's Head that day? Or is there the usual simple explanation involving a reversal of time, a dead man coming back to life, and a couple of invisible dementors?"

Percy (Weasley) let out a hearty laugh. "Oh, very good, Minister, very good!"

"Cornelius," Dumbledore smiled. "I do not deny—and nor, I am sure, does Harry—that he was in the Hog's Head that day, nor that he was trying to recruit students to a Defense Against the Dark Arts group. I am merely pointing out that Dolores is quite wrong to suggest that such a group was, at that time, illegal. If you remember, the Ministry decree banning all student societies was not put into effect until two days after Harry's Hogsmeade meeting, so he was not breaking any rules in the Hog's Head at all."

Percy, Fudge, and Umbridge were dumbfounded. 

"That's all very fine, Headmaster," Umbridge recovered first, smiling sweetly. "But we are now nearly six months on from the introduction of Educational Decree Number Twenty-four. If the first meeting was not illegal, all those that have happened since most certainly are."

"Well," he laced his fingers together. "They certainly would be, if they had continued after the decree came into effect. Do you have any evidence that these meetings continued?"

As Dumbledore spoke, Esmerelda's sharp ears picked up the quiet whisper of Kingsley's voice saying, "Obliviate." 

"Evidence?" She repeated. "Have you not been listening, Dumbledore? Why do you think Miss Edgecombe is here?"

"Oh, can she tell us about six months' worth of meetings?" He quirked a brow. "I was under the impression that she was merely reporting a meeting tonight."

"Miss Edgecombe," Umbridge turned to her. "Tell us how long these meetings have been going on, dear. You can simply nod or shake your head, I'm sure that won't make the spots worse. Have they been happening regularly over the last six months?"

Marietta didn't reply. Esmerelda wasn't sure if anyone had noticed it, but her eyes were unnaturally blank thanks to the memory charm that was smartly cast on her. 

"Just nod or shake your head, dear," Umbridge said coaxingly. "Come on, now, that won't activate the jinx further..."

Finally, Marietta shook her head. 

Umbridge looked quickly at Fudge and then back at Marietta.

"I don't think you understood the question, did you, dear? I'm asking whether you've been going to these meetings for the past six months? You have, haven't you?"

Again, Marietta shook her head.

"What do you mean by shaking your head, dear?" Umbridge was getting angry now.

"I would have thought her meaning was quite clear," Professor McGonagall said harshly. "There have been no secret meetings for the past six months. Is that correct, Miss Edgecombe?"

Marietta nodded.

"But there was a meeting tonight!" Umbridge exploded. "There was a meeting, Miss Edgecombe, you told me about it, in the Room of Requirement! And Potter was the leader, was he not, Potter organized it, Potter—why are you shaking your head, girl?"

"Well, usually when a person shakes their head," Professor McGonagall said coldly. "They mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans—"

Umbridge went crazy at that point. She grabbed Marietta and started to shake her. Everyone in the room went into action. Cedric nearly dropped the puppy to reach for his wand, Harry was about to jump to his feet, but Dumbledore and Kingsley beat everyone else. 

Both men started forward and Umbridge jumped back from the girl. 

"I cannot allow you to manhandle my students, Dolores," Dumbledore said, looking genuinely angry.

"You want to calm yourself, Madam Umbridge," Kingsley added. "You don't want to get yourself into trouble now."

"No," she said breathlessly. "I mean, yes—you're right, Shacklebolt—I— I forgot myself."

Marietta looked perfectly fine however. Her eyes were still oddly blank and she was still covering the lower half of her face. 

"Dolores," Fudge said. "The meeting tonight—the one we know definitely happened—"

"—Yes," she interrupted, pulling herself together. "Yes... well, Miss Edgecombe tipped me off and I proceeded at once to the seventh floor, accompanied by certain trustworthy students, so as to catch those in the meeting red-handed. It appears that they were forewarned of my arrival, however, because when we reached the seventh floor they were running in every direction. It does not matter, however. I have all their names here, Miss Parkinson ran into the Room of Requirement for me to see if they had left anything behind... We needed evidence and the room provided..."

I'm gonna kill Pansy, Esmerelda thought blankly as Umbridge withdrew a familiar list of signatures and handed it to Fudge. She could feel Cedric's heart hammering away at his chest and see the terror written all over Harry's face. 

"The moment I saw Potter's name on the list, I knew what we were dealing with," she said softly. "And look, Black's name is on here too. We haven't found her though, but I wouldn't be surprised if she and Potter were working together. It makes my skin crawl wondering what sort of awful dark magic's she's been teaching them." 

Esmerelda nearly jumped at her face, but Cedric held her back. 

"Excellent," Fudge said, a smile spreading across his face. "Excellent, Dolores. And... by thunder..."

He looked up at Dumbledore.

"See what they've named themselves?" He said quietly. "Dumbledore's Army."

Dumbledore looked down at the parchment before looking back up with a small smile. 

"Well, the game is up," he said simply. "Would you like a written confession from me, Cornelius—or will a statement before these witnesses suffice?"

Esmerelda blinked. What was he doing? 

"Statement?" Fudge asked. "What—I don't—?"

"Dumbledore's Army, Cornelius," Dumbledore read aloud. "Not Potter's Army. Dumbledore's Army."

"But—but—" He sputtered stupidly before realization dawned on him. He took a horrified step backward, yelped, and jumped out of the fire again.

"You?" He whispered, stamping again on his smoldering cloak.

"That's right," Dumbledore said pleasantly.

"You organized this?"

"I did," Dumbledore nodded. 

"You recruited these students for—for your army?"

"Tonight was supposed to be the first meeting," he replied. "Merely to see whether they would be interested in joining me. I see now that it was a mistake to invite Miss Edgecombe, of course."

"Then you have been plotting against me!" Fudge yelled.

"That's right," Dumbledore said cheerfully.

Esmerelda was starting to get what he was doing. He was pinning the blame on him so Harry would get away somewhat scotch free. The only problem was that Dumbledore could actually lose his job for this, and she had a pretty good feeling who would take the reigns once that happened. 

"NO!" Harry shouted. "No—Professor Dumbledore!"

"Be quiet, Harry, or I am afraid you will have to leave my office," Dumbledore said calmly.

"Yes, shut up, Potter!" Fudge barked. "Well, well, well—I came here tonight expecting to expel Potter and instead—"

"—Instead you get to arrest me," Dumbledore smiled. "It's like losing a Knut and finding a Galleon, isn't it?"

"Weasley!" He cried. "Weasley, have you written it all down, everything he's said, his confession, have you got it?"

"Yes, sir, I think so, sir!" Percy nodded eagerly.

"The bit about how he's been trying to build up an army against the Ministry, how he's been working to destabilize me?"

"Yes, sir, I've got it, yes!" He exclaimed, scanning his notes joyfully.

"Very well, then," Fudge was now radiant with glee. "Duplicate your notes, Weasley, and send a copy to the Daily Prophet at once. If we send a fast owl we should make the morning edition!" Percy dashed from the room, slamming the door behind him, and Fudge turned back to Dumbledore. "You will now be escorted back to the Ministry, where you will be formally charged and then sent to Azkaban to await trial!"

"Ah," Dumbledore feigned a wince. "Yes. Yes, I thought we might hit that little snag."

"Snag?" Fudge questioned. "I see no snag, Dumbledore!"

"Well," he said apologetically, "I'm afraid I do."

"Oh really?"

"Well—it's just that you seem to be laboring under the delusion that I am going to—what is the phrase? 'Come quietly' I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course—but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing."

The whole room fell silent. 

"Don't be silly, Dawlish," Dumbledore said kindly, catching one of the wizards reaching for his wand. "I'm sure you are an excellent Auror, I seem to remember that you achieved 'Outstanding' in all your N.E.W.T.s, but if you attempt to—er—'bring me in' by force, I will have to hurt you."

Dawlish looked back at Fudge helplessly. 

"So," Fudge sneered, recovering himself. "You intend to take on Dawlish, Shacklebolt, Dolores, and myself single-handed, do you, Dumbledore?"

Ohhhh a fight was going to break out! Esmerelda thought giddily, her eyes already glued onto her target. Her tail wagged with excitement as she prepared to pounce. Cedric was too stupefied by the situation to even realize what she was about to do. 

"Merlin's beard, no," Dumbledore said, smiling. "Not unless you are foolish enough to force me to."

"He will not be single-handed!" Professor McGonagall said loudly.

"Oh yes he will, Minerva!" Dumbledore told her sharply. "Hogwarts needs you!"

"Enough of this rubbish!" Fudge snapped, pulling out his own wand. "Dawlish! Shacklebolt! Take him!"

Esmerelda pounced, shifting back into human form in mid air. She latched herself onto Umbridge's back and held her in a chokehold. She could hear her sputtering for air until five seconds later, she finally went limp. 

"Hah!" She cheered as a dust encircled the scene she stood at. "Gods, yes, I've been wanting to do this for so long!" 

With a wave of her hand, the dust dispersed, and she saw that other bodies had joined Umbridge. Dawlish, Kingsley, and Fudge were all sprawled on the floor, equally as knocked out.  Fawkes flew around them, singing a song. 

"Did you snap her neck?!" Cedric said, horrified. He was off at the side with Professor McGonagall, Harry and Marietta. 

"No," she snorted. "That would be too quick for her." 

"Essie?!" Harry gaped. "You—you were the dog?!"

"Yep!" She said brightly. She then spotted one of the bodies stir. "Ooh. Hey, Dumbledore, you should hurry out of here soon. They're starting to wake up." 

Dumbledore nodded sharply, exchanged a few words with Harry, and stood up straighter as Fawkes swooped low over him. He reached out for the phoenix's long golden tail. There was a flash of fire and the pair of them were gone.

Esmerelda quickly shifted back into her animagus form and ran for Cedric, who picked her up just as the other wizards woke up. 

"Where is he?" Fudge, pushing himself up from the ground. "Where is he?"

"I don't know!" shouted Kingsley, also leaping to his feet.

"Someone wake up Dolores!" Fudge snapped. 

Dawlish was the closest. He nudged her face with his dirty shoe. "She's not waking up! Must have been hit by a strong stunner." 

Professor McGonagall, Harry, Cedric, and even the paintings in the room all glanced over to the tiny pomeranian who was watching the scene with wicked glee. 

"Forget her then!" Fudge fumed. "Find Dumbledore!" 

"The stairs!" Dawlish cried, and he flung himself upon the door, wrenched it open, and disappeared, followed closely by Kingsley. Fudge hesitated, then got to his feet slowly, brushing dust from his front. There was a long and painful silence.

"Well, Minerva," he said nastily, straightening his torn shirt-sleeve. "I'm afraid this is the end of your friend Dumbledore."

"You think so, do you?" Professor McGonagall said scornfully.

Fudge seemed not to hear her. He was looking around at the wrecked office. A few of the portraits hissed at him; one or two even made rude hand gestures.

"You'd better get those three off to bed," Fudge gave a nod towards the students before giving Esmerelda a scathing look. "And I want that fiend out. Hogwarts only allows owls, toads, and cats. Not... demon dogs." 

Professor McGonagall harrumphed and stormed out, motioning for the kids to follow after her. Esmerelda climbed onto Cedric's shoulder, and before they could leave, she gave the Minister one last evil look as the doors closed. 

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

— BY ORDER OF —
The Ministry of Magic

Dolores Jane Umbridge (High Inquisitor) has replaced Albus Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The above is in accordance with Educational Decree Number Twenty-eight.

Signed:

Cornelius Oswald Fudge

Minister of Magic

"His middle name is Oswald?" Esmerelda scoffed at the post. "Gods, everything about him just keeps getting dumber and dumber." 

She was starting to regret not snapping Umbridge's neck that day at the office. She had completely turned Hogwarts around after becoming the headmistress. She created this stupid group called the Inquisitorial Squad (which her idiot cousin joined, naturally), was bossing around all the other professors, and even made a huge list of more rules for students to follow. 

One of them—Educational Decree Number Thirty-One—stated, 'Boys and girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other'. 

"She didn't say anything about the same sex," Ginny said smugly, holding hands with Luna.

The two of them got together the same day Dumbledore avoided arrest. After everyone went crazy trying to run away, Luna and Ginny hid out in the kitchens where Ginny finally had the guts to ask her out (even with all the elves watching them). The house elves were so moved by the scene that they even arranged a late, candle-lit dinner for them and everything.

"She's probably so straight that she doesn't even realize gay people exists," Esmerelda snorted as they walked down the hallway together.

"She wouldn't be able to handle it," Ginny snickered. 

"Oh no," Luna said softly, sounding more at ease than worried. "There she is right now." 

They looked up and saw Umbridge traveling down one of the moving staircases with Draco at her side. He looked smug about something, which meant he was probably telling her about his latest tattle. 

That was when Umbridge spotted them, her ugly eyes zeroing in on Ginny and Luna's joined hands. Her eyes bulged out wide and she opened her mouth to sputter incoherently. 

"What—what is this—what are you—ARRRGHHH!" So shocked by her discovery of lesbians, Umbridge didn't notice the next step and came tumbling down. 

Everyone watched her as she tumbled down shrieking all the way. Some would wince every time she bumped her head, others were watching with awe, and Esmerelda even spotted one of the Creevey brothers snapping pictures for good memories. If she had her phone, she would've taken a whole video and posted it on Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, you name it. 

With a final thud she came to a stop right before Ginny and Luna, head bruised and bleeding. 

"Headmistress!" Draco cried out, scrambling down for her. "Headmistress, are you alright?" 

"She's the last of your worries," Esmerelda said in annoyance, taking a hold of his arm and pulling him back. She doubted he knew any first aid of healing spells to help anyways. "Come on, brat, we need to talk." 

"What?!" He squawked. 

"Luna, Ginny, I'll see you guys later," she called back to the couple. 

Luna was too busy poking Umbridge's face with her wand, so Ginny replied, "Alright! Good luck with... that thing."

"I'm not a thing—!" Draco snapped. 

"Shut it," Esmerelda huffed, dragging him to an empty corridor. She released him, shoving him back. "Inquisitorial Squad, are you kidding me? You're already a prefect!"

He puffed his chest out to show his new badge proudly. "Being a part of it gives me more power." 

"You look stupid." 

"No I don't!" He said angrily. "Besides, what was I supposed to do? My father told me to join!" 

"I knew it," she snickered under her breath. "You do everything daddy tells you, huh? How cute."

For some odd reason, that made him freeze up, and the same shameful face he used to wear around her since the end of the winter break came back again. 

She frowned. "What?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Just, ah... About the last time we saw each other, back when I was helping you with your spell... I'm sorry for running off on you." 

Now it was her turn to be shocked. She hadn't been expecting this turn of events. He was actually apologizing for that? She had gotten over it already and she figured he forgot about it too. Why was he being so nice to her all of a sudden? Something weird must have happened over break...

"Um," she gave him a weird look. "It's okay?"

"So," he swallowed thickly. "How is your spell going?"

Suddenly she got an idea. She had initially took him here to berate him for kissing up to Umbridge and Fudge's ass, but now she had a better idea thanks to him mentioning the spell. 

"I'm all done with it actually," she said, her smile becoming sharp. "I just need... a human to test it on." 

Draco gulped. 

( BONUS! )

Ginny and Luna were sprinting down the hallway. Or, well, Ginny was sprinting and Luna was just being dragged behind her. Usually the youngest Weasley would be blushing like crazy at the fact that she was actually holding her crush's hand, but she was too busy being terrified of getting caught by Umbridge or one of the nasty Slytherins. 

The detentions weren't what scared her though. If her mother found out about this, she'd never hear the end of it. Hell, her mother would probably send Howlers every day to her and her brothers. 

So getting caught wasn't something she was going to risk happening. 

Luna stopped running and tugged at her hand. 

"Why are you stopping?!" She hissed under her breath. 

"This way," Luna replied calmly, tugging her at a different direction. "We can hide in the kitchens." 

"The house elves were the ones who ratted us out in the first place!" Ginny protested, but allowed herself to get dragged away. 

"They won't tell anyone," Luna said in a firm, but still soft voice as she tickled the pear in the painting. 

The entryway into the kitchen appeared and both girls hurriedly stepped inside just as they heard a set of footsteps heading their way. The kitchen was bustling with busy looking house elves, but they all stopped what they were doing once the girls walked in. 

"Er, hello," Ginny greeted awkwardly. She hadn't met many house elves. Her experience with them weren't very stellar. There was Dobby, who liked to hit himself, and then there was Kreacher who hated her very existence. 

Luna's greeting went by more smoothly. "Hello. Is it alright if we stay here for a bit?" 

The house elves looked at each other before one of them spoke up, "Misses can stay."

"Thank you," the blonde said politely, and the house elves went back to work again. 

The next several minutes were awkward and silent, for Ginny that is. Luna didn't seem to mind the awkwardness (or she most likely didn't even notice it). The Ravenclaw was idly looking around with a tranquil look on her face. Ginny had no idea what she was even looking at, there wasn't much to admire in the kitchens...

But then it suddenly dawned on her that this was her chance to finally ask the other girl out. Her brothers and her friends had all been hounding her over it ever since she told them about her crush on Luna. Plus, they were nosy so this was probably the only time she could ever do it without any of them watching behind a tree or whatever...

Okay, she thought to herself. You can do this. Just a simple, 'Do you wanna go out on a date with me?'. No wait, should I ask if she likes girls first? Merlin, what if she's straight? Then I'd just look like an idiot. 

"You look lost," Luna's airy voice said, nearly making her jump. "Wrackspurts got you down?"

Oh no, it's just me having a little gay panic because I have no idea if you even like girls let alone me. 

"It's nothing, I was just, uh..." She trailed off, suddenly very much aware of the many house elves inside the kitchen with them. Was asking her out here really a good idea? Maybe she should just wait another day... but then again, having house elves spy on them was a lot better than Esmerelda, or Ron, or worse, the twins.

Ginny quickly cleared her throat, ignoring the heat crawling over her face and the sweatiness of her palms. "I was... um... wondering... if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade next week with me?" 

"Sure," Luna agreed. 

"I mean like... not as friends." She clarified, wincing at how shaky her voice sounded. She cleared her throat once more before continuing, "Like... you know. A date?" 

Merlin, she was so glad none of her friends were here. She sounded so lame right now.

Luna's eyes widened, looking genuinely surprised for once. Ginny's heart was racing. What was she going to say next? Was she going to reject her? Was she making her uncomfortable? Was she too forward? Oh she knew she shouldn't have done this—

Suddenly the shock faded and Luna started to smile. Ginny was half-afraid that she was going to burst into loud, jeering laughter, but her smile looked too soft, and there was a dash of pink across her cheeks. 

"I'd love to," Luna replied, and Ginny's worries melted away. 

The latter gawked. "Y-you do?"

"Yes." 

"I-I'm asking you out romantically, you know," she pointed out, just in case she got it wrong. 

"I know," Luna's smile brightened. "What time will it be?" 

Ginny could barely believe this was happening. "You really want to go out on a date with me?" 

"Oh my," Luna blinked in concern. "Those wrackspurts are really getting to you, aren't they? I've never seen you so confused." 

"I'm not confused," she lied, sputtering. "I just wanted to make sure—" 

The sound of her stomach rumbling cut her off, and Ginny could feel her soul sink into further despair and embarrassment. 

Her saviors came in the form of a bunch of house elves. 

"Misses!" One of them squeaked. 

Both girls turned and Ginny felt her jaw drop. A small circular table had been set up with a fancy white table cloth laid over it. There were plates of food on it, and there was a single golden candelabra placed at the very center, lighting up the room with it's pink flames. The house elves stood behind it, with happy looks on their faces. One of them was even crying into a dirty hanky.

"We has prepared a late-night dinner!" An elf exclaimed joyously. 

"Yes," another one said with an eager nod. "It was Hanky's idea, misses! Hanky was so moved that she wanted to help misses celebrate and the house elves agreed!" 

"That's very nice of you!" Luna beamed before shooting Ginny a happy look. "I guess we should consider this our first date instead, hm?" 

Ginny tried to look cool. "Oh, yeah!" 

But wait... their Hogsmeade date was still on next week, right? Right?

(And THAT'S the proper way to ask someone out 😌 Follow Linny's example. Don't do what Essan did, folks.)

— author's note —

GOD THIS CHAPTER WAS SO LONG! There was so much I was hoping to fit in here, but I hadn't realized how long the office scene was going to be so I had to cut some stuff or put them in the next chapter...

Lesbians: *exist*

Umbridge:

Pomeranian!Essie: *exists*

Everyone:

Fudge and Umbridge:

These memes were made by :

Alright, so... I'm sure you all know what happens next after Dumbledore escapes... some shit's gonna go down in the next couple of chapters... brace yourselves...