▬▬▬▬▬ CHAPTER FOUR ▬▬▬▬▬

WHILE ETHAN WAS MORE THAN happy to help Esmerelda shop for her school supplies, he just wished she hadn't invited Nico to come with them. 

Look, he had already admitted it before, but he didn't hate the kid. But he definitely hated how much of a fucking cockblock he was. They were just about to leave for London when the little brat came in uninvited (seriously, how the hell does he even manage to come in at the worst times?!) and that was when Esmerelda got the brilliant idea to invite her annoying-ass... son too. 

(He still shuddered at the thought of Nico being Esmerelda's son, he preferred to think of him as Hades' spawn instead)

So now here they were, in Diagon Alley with one hand carrying all of her books and the other was clasped tightly around hers. Meanwhile, Esmerelda was cooing over Nico. Leaving him completely ignored. Ugh.

All this magic, he thought in annoyance as he glared at the surrounding shops. Yet they couldn't find a way to create some sort of child repellent?

"I think that's all the books I need," Esmerelda chirped after looking through her book list. "You guys want ice cream?"

Both boys perked up and began to follow her eagerly towards Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour. The door to the shop opened with a ding and dirty looks were immediately thrown in their way once they stepped in. 

Ethan's mood darkened. Throughout their shopping trip, Esmerelda had been so happy to be spending time with them that she hadn't noticed how poorly she was being treated by the witches and wizards. But Ethan knew. He saw their mean looks and heard their cruel whispers. Judging by the stony look Nico wore, the younger boy had noticed them too. 

He knew that she had a pretty bad reputation in the wizarding world, but that was only because of the family she came from. Esmerelda herself hadn't really done anything wrong, she just had the misfortune to be a part of what was considered a 'dark' family... It also didn't help that everyone in the wizarding world were so disgustingly close-minded too. 

The old man behind the counter smiled at the previous customer before they left. Once Ethan, Esmerelda, and Nico came up next, his smile was replaced with a distrustful frown. 

"Order?" He asked curtly. 

Esmerelda turned to the boys. "What do you guys want?"

"If you haven't picked anything yet, then I'm afraid you'll have to go to the back of the line." The man said quite harshly. 

Esmerelda was stunned speechless at the aggression in his voice. She had ordered from here before and he had never been so... rude to her. 

Ethan, however, was not as silent. "Talk to her like that again," he said in a dangerously quiet voice. "And I'll cut out your tongue." 

"I'll help," Nico added darkly. 

The man stared at Ethan and seemed to realize how serious the threat was. To be fair, Ethan looked kind of terrifying and all. Gulping audibly, he backed away and nodded. 

"Ah," he cleared his throat. "Take your time then." 

"Thanks!" Esmerelda beamed before turning to Ethan and Nico. "Soooo, what are your orders?"

Several minutes later, they were seated outside eating their respective icy desserts. 

Ethan and Nico would occasionally send death glares at anyone who looked at Esmerelda wrong, whereas the girl was none the wiser, just happily eating her ice cream and chatting excitedly to them. 

When Nico left to go to the bathroom, Ethan finally took this chance to talk to her about a very pressing issue. 

"Essie," he said urgently. "You'll tell me if anyone bothers you at school, right?" He couldn't stop thinking about how everyone looked at her, like she was dirt beneath their feet. He knew very well that that sort of treatment wouldn't stop once she reached Hogwarts. 

She stopped licking her spoon to address him. "Huh?" 

"Just promise me that you'll tell me about any issues you're having," he pleaded. "I don't care how minor you think it is. The people at your school, I don't know, they seem like giant assholes to be honest." 

Her mood dampened. "Oh... yeah... They can be kinda mean, I guess." It didn't help that there were already so many newspaper articles depicting her as 'deranged' or 'dangerous'. She was probably going to get as much hate as Harry... 

"Why do you have to keep going there?" Ethan grumbled, irritated. "I mean, you're already an awesome witch." 

Her cheeks turned pink. "Awww, Ethan..." 

"You know what I mean," his face reddened. "Seriously though, you already know more then them. Why bother going back to Hogwarts? It's not like you're planning on getting a job in the wizarding world." 

He... had a surprisingly good point. Esmerelda wanted to go to college after school, not go straight to the workforce after directing. Seventeen was just so early, and she already learned more then enough spells from Hogwarts. That was the whole reason she accepted the letter in her first year, to learn spells for survival and she had done just that... 

"I don't know," she said honestly. "Everyone's been expecting me to continue my schooling here so... I don't know. I'll try to figure it out later." 

"Fine," he sighed in defeat. "But back to my main point: the assholes. You'll tell me if anyone's bothering you, right? Or at least kick their asses?" 

She waved a hand. "I'll be fine, Ethan, trust me." 

(Unfortunately, she didn't know how wrong she was)

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"Did you get a prefect badge from the mail?" Harry asked Esmerelda the next day as they were packing up their things for Hogwarts.

She snorted. "No, I'd be surprised if I did. I just barely managed to pass, like, three of my classes. Are you still upset that Ron's the prefect and not you?"

His face reddened, "What—no, that's—"

"—Harry," she sighed, giving him a small smile. "You're a terrible liar, sweetie."

His shoulders slumped in defeat.

"There, there," she cooed, patting him on the head. She enjoyed how short he was. "It's not that big of a deal, okay? Besides, can you imagine the stress you're going to be in this year?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, fifth year is our OWL year, remember?" That was what her father had told her at least. "Imagine trying to balance Prefect duties with studying for our OWLs. Plus, you're probably going to have a hard time social-wise what with the Daily Prophet and all..."

"Oh," he scowled at the mention of the accursed newspaper. "Good point."

"Yeah, people are probably gonna give me shit too. Ugh, I can't believe they actually think I'm your fangirl. No offense to you of course, it's just... a hard 'no' from me." She smiled sheepishly.

"At least I still got Quidditch to look forward to," he said, perking up a little bit.

She smiled encouragingly. "That's the spirit! Now go get your things, we'll be leaving soon."

"Right," he started for the door only to pause. "Um, one more thing... About Sirius..."

Her smile tightened. "Go get your things, Harry."

"Sorry," he ducked out of the room in a hurry.

Esmerelda let out a tired sigh when the door was shut. She shouldn't have been so harsh on him, but just the very mention of her uncle was grating her nerves.

She tried to distract herself with packing, but even that was annoying her. She didn't want to attend Hogwarts anymore—after everything that happened, the idea of school just felt so foreign to her. She didn't want to go to a place where people believed her to be a liar and a fanatic, she didn't want to go to a place where the kids were all living in blissful ignorance—it actually kind of made her stomach churn to be honest.

She wanted to go back to New York where all her friends were, where Ethan was, and where Nico would visit her. She wanted a sense of home and familiarity and Hogwarts just wasn't giving it especially since people there could never understand her.

(She wanted to bring Sirius back to New York where she could keep him safe too, but he didn't seem to care for her opinions at this point anymore.)

Everyone finished packing and was ready to go in the next ten minutes. The other kids had already left periodically with their own guards from the Order. It was just her and Harry that needed to leave for the station and they would be taken there with Mrs. Weasley and Tonks.

They gathered at the living room where they were discussing Sirius' request to go.

"For Merlin's sake," he growled. "Do you know how long I've been going around looking like this? Nobody has recognized me!"

"It's better to be safe then sorry," Molly said sternly. "Dumbledore already gave you permission to come, but you have to be in your Animagus form. Frankly, I don't approve of you coming with us, but—"

"—Oh bloody hell, fine!" He barked, anger raging in his eyes. "I'll go in my dog form. Let's just go already, I can't stand any second in this dreaded house."

His appearance certainly supported his claims. His misery had actually taken a physical toll on his body. He still looked nothing like his mugshot, but his pale skin and sunken face was concerning.

"So we're decided then?" Tonks asked. "Because we should really hurry up..." She added, checking her watch.

"I know, I know,"  Mrs. Weasley moaned as they all filed out of the house. "But Mad-Eye wanted to wait for Sturgis... If only Arthur could have got us cars from the Ministry again... but Fudge wouldn't let him borrow so much as an empty ink bottle these days... How Muggles can stand traveling without magic..."

Muggles seemed to be doing just fine in Esmerelda's opinion, but she didn't voice it because she was too busy noticing how much better Sirius' mood became once he stepped out of Grimmauld Place.

The great black dog gave a joyful bark and gamboled around them, snapping at pigeons, and chasing its own tail. Harry was laughing beside him, and Esmerelda really wanted to join and maybe shift into her own Animagus form to play too, but Sirius' mood might plummet again so she didn't.

It took them twenty minutes to reach King's Cross by foot and nothing more eventful happened during that time than Sirius scaring a couple of cats for Harry's entertainment. Once inside the station they lingered casually beside the barrier between platforms nine and ten until the coast was clear, then each of them leaned against it and fell through the barrier.

The Hogwarts Express was packed with departing students and their families. Esmerelda anxiously looked around, as if expecting people to point at her in laugh. While she acted like she didn't care about what the Daily Prophet's have been saying at her, she was actually very concerned about them.

While she knew it wasn't nice to generalize a whole population of people, Esmerelda had experienced time and time again that the people of Wizarding Britain were just... plain fucking awful. And even dumb at times. They trusted the tabloids waaaaaay too much and believed in baseless rumors waaaaaay too easily. It was sad... but also really harmful.

Esmerelda had already been through a war and helped saved the world. She lost so many loved ones and everyone she knew had been severely traumatized from that war even more then they already were—including her. She did not want to come back to a place where people would spread false rumors about her, pick on her, ostracize her, and probably do a shit ton of other horrible things when her mental health was already in shambles.

But so far, everything was going smoothly.

"I hope the others make it in time," Mrs. Weasley muttered from beside her.

"Nice dog, Harry!" Lee called as he passed by.

Well, Esmerelda thought pleasantly. Someone decent!

"Thanks, Lee," Harry grinned as Sirius wagged his tail frantically.

"Oh good," Mrs. Weasley said in relief. "Here's Alastor with the luggage, look..."

The real Moody came limping through the archway pushing a cart full of their trunks.

"All okay," he muttered to Mrs. Weasley and Tonks. "Don't think we were followed..."

Seconds later, Mr. Weasley emerged onto the platform with Ron and Hermione. They had almost unloaded Moody's luggage cart when Fred, George, and Ginny turned up with Remus.

"No trouble?" Moody growled.

"Nothing," Remus answered.

"I'll still be reporting Sturgis to Dumbledore," Moody said. "That's the second time he's not turned up in a week. Getting as unreliable as Mundungus."

"Well, look after yourselves," Remus smiled, shaking hands all round. When he reached Esmerelda, he gave her a stern look.

"Essie, I..." He trailed off. "You were right." 

Well. She hadn't been expecting that. 

"Death Eaters shouldn't be given any star treatment, you're right about that. It's just... what bothered me the most was that you were the one doing the killing. I don't understand much about the demigod lifestyle, but I know it's brutal. It put you, and many other children in a war. I just... I just can't wrap my mind around the cruelty of it. And I think that's what got Sirius so upset too..." 

She stared at him, speechless. 

"Sirius wishes for you to have a good life," he said gently. "He wants for you to worry about normal things likes boys and schoolwork. He doesn't like the thought of you killing people—the thought of him failing to give you a better way of living like he had done for his brother." 

"My dad..." She whispered. 

"About that," he muttered, making sure the dog couldn't hear them. Sirius was too distracted anyways. "I'm sorry for what he said about your father. Their relationship was... well, it's always been strained. But I know he cared about him, even if he never showed it as much..." 

He trailed off before clearing his throat. "I know you're worried about him, but please don't let that distract you. After everything you've already been through, I don't want you to be stressed any longer. Go to school, be a kid. I'll watch over your uncle, alright?"

But what if they were attacked by something from her world? A monster, an evil deity, a demigod, it could be anything! Remus might not be able to protect themselves from it! She needed to be there, but how the heck could she protect him if Sirius didn't even want her around?

"If he's in danger, if any of you are," she muttered quietly, her voice becoming more desperate. "You have to tell me. Right away. Please. I'll—I'll even give you drachmas to IM me, you remember how to do that right? Here—"

She practically shoved a handful of golden coins into his hands.

"Don't hesitate for a second, okay? E-even if you think it's not a real threat, if you're suspicious about anything then you have to tell me, please. I'll be there." She said in between shaky breaths.

But what if Remus couldn't contact her in time? What if the threat was right there and he was unable to IM her? She needed a better solution then this, something that could help her get to her loved ones faster when they needed her...

Remus stared at her with sad eyes before pocketing the drachmas. "Okay," he said softly. "I'll make sure to contact you."

She wrapped her arms around him tightly before muttering a 'thank you' and letting go. When she wasn't looking, Remus gave her one last pitying look before going over to talk to Harry.

That was when Moody approached her.

"Black!" He barked, his lips curling into a vicious grin. "You watch out for yourself, but it's not like you'll need it."

They shook hands, Moody's grin widening.

"Thanks," she smiled. "At least someone's not upset with me for chopping off Crouch's hand..." Everyone made such a big deal about it as if he was a good person. It didn't make any sense to her. He was a bad person and bad people deserved bad things. Why was it so 'cruel' of her to chop his hand off? It was a good reason only Sirius and Remus knew she was the one who killed him or else she wouldn't be able to hear the end of their lectures.

"Keep up the good work," Moody said in approval before patting her on the back.

Once all the goodbyes were finished, a warning whistle sounded. Students that were still on the platform started hurrying onto the train.

"Quick, quick," Mrs. Weasley said distractedly, hugging them at random and catching Harry twice. "Write... Be good... If you've forgotten anything we'll send it on... Onto the train, now, hurry..."

Esmerelda glanced over at Sirius hesitantly, but he was already trying to hug Harry, rearing onto his hind legs and placing his front paws on Harry's shoulders, but Mrs. Weasley shoved Harry away toward the train door hissing, "For heaven's sake act more like a dog, Sirius!"

He hadn't spared her a glance, so she moved on to enter the train.

Her mood only worsened after she put all her things away. The second she started walking around the aisle to find a compartment, she spotted one guy reading a Daily Prophet article titled 'FALL OF THE BLACK FAMILY—A RAVING LUNATIC AND A RABID FANGIRL'.

She glared at the newspaper and it burst into flames. The student yelped in panic and dropped it. By the time he managed to stomp the fire out, Esmerelda was already gone.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

It was probably the loneliest train ride ever for her. Neither of her Hufflepuff friends found her compartment and those who did immediately backtracked and left the second they realized who she was. Usually she wouldn't mind it, but after the seventh time someone slammed the door seconds after opening it, she was beginning to get a little hurt.

Or, well, majorly actually. She had gotten a little more emotionally sensitive after the war, becoming more prone to getting hurt, angry, sad, and all those horrible things. If only the same could be said about her feelings of joy and whatnot...

She tried not to let it get to her (which she failed on) as she started changing into her uniform; a short-sleeved blouse and a black skirt. 

But not the tie. She couldn't wear it anymore. Not when it felt so restricting around the neck, so much like Alabaster's hands when he tried to pin her down and kill her. She didn't think she could handle wearing anything too high-collared anymore either, or even a necklace—which was a damn shame since she had such a nice collection of necklaces... 

She had never seen a student walk around without the school tie, it was considered part of the dress code after all, but she was certain the professors wouldn't care very much, right? Dumbledore and the House Heads (other then Snape, of course) would understand the issue, the other teachers she could deal with easily. 

Once she finished dressing, she slipped on her Mary Jane shoes and waited for the ride to end. 

When she boarded off the train, she didn't even want to climb onto any of the carriages. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had already boarded theirs, and they were joined with a couple other students so their carriage was full. So, knowing that nobody would ever want to board up with the 'deranged and fanatic Esmerelda Black', she Mist traveled over to Hogwarts instead and got her room ready.

When she left to head over to the Great Hall where everyone would be, a high-pitched voice called out to her.

"Who are you? Are you student here?"

Esmerelda turned around and saw a middle-aged woman dressed completely in pink. The Aphrodite kids would've approved of her if it hadn't been for how hideous she was. Her face reminded her of the toads they'd use for Transfiguration. Something about the little smile plastered on her face seemed painfully fake too, so there was that.

Outfit choices aside, Esmerelda was more focused on the fact that she had never seen this woman before. She could only guess that she was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor since Hogwarts went through DADA professors like she went through wands.

Oh great, she thought miserably. The first day hasn't even started and I'm already in trouble.

"Um, yes, ma'am," she answered nervously.

The woman's face broadened once she reached her. Something about her started to seem familiar...

"How did you get here so quickly, dear?" She asked in a sugary sweet voice. "The students haven't arrived yet. Are you breaking the rules?" She emphasized on the word 'rules' as if they were super important or something.

Esmerelda narrowed her eyes, ignoring her question. "Hold on, aren't you the woman from Harry's hearing—Umbridge? You were simpering at Fudge's side like some sort of minion. You believe his lies, don't you?"

For a brief second, the woman was completely taken aback by her bluntness, but then her smile tightened. "Do you care to repeat that, young lady?" Her tone was daring, but Esmerelda wasn't feeling threatened at all, just very annoyed.

"Forget you ever saw me," she ordered coldly. "Just go back to whatever you were doing. I don't want to waste my time dealing with you, so just leave."

Esmerelda watched her leave with wary eyes.

So this was just great. A Ministry official was now working in Hogwarts under the guise of being a DADA professor. Fudge must have put her up to it, wanting her to either spy on Dumbledore and Harry or keep the school under Ministry control.

Does she even have any teaching credentials? Esmerelda fumed as she stalked for the Great Hall. She was pretty sure she didn't because almost half of the previous DADA teachers were incompetent meaning this woman was going to suck too...

I knew I should've just attended Goode High School with Ethan, Percy, and the Stolls, she thought miserably.

She waited until everyone arrived before sneaking off to join them at their respective tables. She didn't bother looking around for her usual group of Hufflepuff friends before sitting down at a random vacancy. Immediately, she could feel a bunch of stares on her and tried to ignore it.

Gods this was worse then when Snape outed her for being 'Sirius's' daughter. At least she had Draco accidentally save her from people's ire back then... But the Daily Prophet had slandered her to the point where people either feared her or made fun of her.

Her eyes drifted away from the table's surface to the Ravenclaws, as if she were expecting Étienne to be there amongst the sea of blue. Her face fell once more when she remembered he was back home in France.

She had tried contacting Étienne multiple times once the war was over, but all her letters remained unanswered. It was concerning, but she figured that maybe he hated her too. Maybe she waited too long to contact him and he felt abandoned by her. She wouldn't be surprised if that was it, she had the tendency to fail her siblings after all.

Her thoughts were halted when the doors from the Entrance Hall opened. Professor McGonagall, followed by a long line of scared looking first years, entered the room.

The buzz of talk in the Great Hall faded away. The first years lined up in front of the staff table facing the rest of the students, and Professor McGonagall placed the stool carefully in front of them, then stood back.

The poor things looked so scared in Esmerelda's opinion. The way they paled and trembled kind of reminded her of the much younger campers back when they were gearing up for the war, except you know, these first years weren't actually at risk of dying.

The Sorting Hat burst into a new song and once that was over, the sorting finally began.

As the line of first years thinned, with the last student—Zeller, Rose—being sorted into Hufflepuff. 

Professor McGonagall took the stool away as Dumbledore rose to his feet. Esmerelda glanced around discreetly and was relieved to see nobody sneering and booing at him. Only the Slytherins seemed to be whispering to themselves, smirking.

"To our newcomers," he began in a ringing voice, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips. "Welcome! To our old hands—welcome back! There is a time for speech making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

There was an appreciative laugh and an outbreak of applause as Dumbledore sat down neatly and threw his long beard over his shoulder so as to keep it out of the way of his plate. The food finally appeared out of nowhere, five long tables were groaning under joints and pies and dishes of vegetables, bread, sauces, and flagons of pumpkin juice.

Esmerelda chowed down eagerly. There was one thing she liked about Hogwarts and that was the food. It was always so much better then what was served at Camp—every meal there was so healthy and ever since the war started brewing closer, Chiron had become extra strict with their diets. Thankfully the war was done for and Chiron loosened up, but she would really appreciated it if he allowed more tasteful things like sweeter desserts and Italian food.

While she was eating, she caught the eye of one of the newest Hufflepuff students, Rose Zeller. She gave the young girl a friendly smile, but then Rose let out a terrified squeak and turned away.

Her face fell. So now children were scared of her too now? That was just heartbreaking. Would every little first year scream and runaway upon seeing her? Gods, she could barely handle her own peers treating her like that, but the little kids? That was crushing!

She jabbed at her food miserably, her appetite now completely gone.

After about an hour, people began finishing their meals and the noise level in the hall was starting to creep upward again. Dumbledore got to his feet once more. Talking ceased immediately as all turned to face the headmaster.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," Dumbledore began. "First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students—and a few of our older students ought to know by now too."

Esmerelda inwardly snorted at that part.

Dumbledore continued, "Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door. We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

She idly wondered if the Ministry allowed people to change their names because she doubted anyone would want to walk around with the surname 'Grubbly-Plank'.

There was a round of polite but fairly unenthusiastic applause. Only the Slytherins looked somewhat satisfied by this, and that was because barely any of them actually liked having Hagrid around to teach them.

"Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the—"

"—Hem, hem," a voice cut in.

Dumbledore stopped and looked inquiringly at the woman in pink who had intercepted Esmerelda back at the hallways. She rose to her feet, which didn't make as much of a difference as when she was sitting down; she was really short and all.

Anyways, it was kind of rude of her to interrupt someone in the middle of their speech, but Dumbledore took it in stride and sat back down, an air politeness radiating from him. Other members of the staff though, didn't hide their surprise. Professor Sprout's eyebrows had disappeared into her flyaway hair, and Professor McGonagall's mouth was as thin as she had ever seen it. No new teacher had ever interrupted Dumbledore before.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Professor Umbridge simpered. "For those kind words of welcome." She cleared her throat once more and continued: "Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say! And to see such happy little faces looking back at me!"

Nobody was happy.

"I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all, and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!"

What was this, an anime? Esmerelda idly wondered. Usually it was only in the animes did people ever ended their introductions with an 'I hope we'll be good friends!' or 'let's get along!' or 'please take care of me!'.

Professor Umbridge cleared her throat again, but when she continued, some of the breathiness had vanished from her voice. She sounded much more businesslike and now her words had a dull learned-by-heart sound to them.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching."

Dear gods, Esmerelda couldn't help but be impressed. She had never heard so many flowery words spewed out in less then ten seconds. This woman was good at bullshitting. She must've been really good at reaching the word requirements for essays. 

Professor Umbridge made another 'hem hem' and went on, "Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation..."

Why the heck was she talking as if she was going to be the next headmistress? Dumbledore was still the headmaster and he didn't seem to be willing to give that title up anytime soon so speech was very concerning.

"...because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited."

So in translation: "The oh-so-great Fudge has put me in charge of controlling how Hogwarts works and, in addition to that, controlling you. If you don't do what the Ministry wants, expect to be punished because we live in a corrupt society ruled by a corrupt government! Have a nice day!"

Professor Umbridge finally sat back down after what felt like hours to Esmerelda's ADHD brain.

Dumbledore clapped and the rest of the staff followed, albeit in a much more duller manner. A few students joined in but that was most likely because they were just relieved she had stopped talking.

Dumbledore got up once again. "Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating," he said, bowing to her. "Now—as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held..."

Esmerelda blanked out at that part, daydreaming of what her life could be right now if she was just back in New York with Sirius and her friends. She'd probably be a hundred times more saner and her patience-meter would be at a decent rate.

Once Dumbledore finished with his speech as well, the rest of the school was dismissed. Ernie and Hannah, who were the prefects for Hufflepuff House, had taken charge of the first years and were leading them to the dorms.

Esmerelda's side of the dorm was already made thanks to her early arrival. Susan and Megan were inside when she stepped in, and they both fell silent.

"Essie," Megan smiled nervously. "How was your summer?"

"Fun," was her short reply. She didn't really want to talk about how that went.

"Oh, that's," she exchanged a look with the redhead before turning back to her, her smile more forced. "Nice."

Esmerelda grunted as she got dressed into her pajamas. Her paranoia caused her to keep looking around, her eyes searching for Daily Prophet articles. While she and her roommates weren't exactly the best of friends, they were still on decent terms... but had that changed too? Did they think she was crazy? A fanatic? Did they fear her or did they mock her behind her back?

Once she was done dressing, she brushed her teeth and went straight to bed. With a wave of her hand, the curtains around her four-poster bed moved until they covered her, completely separating her from prying eyes.

She buried herself under the sheets and clung onto a pillow tightly.

Once again, she regretted coming to Hogwarts.

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

She was crying in her dreams.

Alabaster was standing before, standing so tall he could crush her under his foot. He was spitting hateful words at her while faceless people joined around in a circle to laugh. She could see several people she knew too, Remus, her uncle, her dad, even Ethan and Lou Ellen were there and they were all enjoying the scene. Some of them were even chanting for her to die.

Esmerelda wanted to move, she wanted to protect herself and beg them to stop, but her body felt like it was being restrained to just take it.

No wait... something was wrong. She was being restrained, like literally.

The scene had melted away. Alabaster was gone, and so were all the people jeering at her. She was now chained against a column.

She looked around, seeing nothing but the ruins of an Ancient Greek city. She was surrounded with the broken remains of ancient buildings, fallen pieces of what once was considered great architecture and artwork. Over at the distance, she could see nothing but the sky and the tops of little hills. She must be somewhere on high-ground, but where exactly?

"A drop is all I need," a voice crooned.

Esmerelda stiffened. The last time she dreamt of mysterious, disembodied voices it was because of Kronos. But this voice didn't belong to him. It sounded like it belonged to a woman's, but it was so much more older and inhuman.

"Just one drop," the voice repeated, and Esmerelda felt a pain in her chest. She looked down and bit back a gasp. Blood was seeping through the front of her shirt, like some invisible knife had went and stabbed her.

Behind her, she heard another voice cry out in pain too. She turned around, but whoever it was must have been on the other side of the column she was trapped in. They strained against the chains like they were thrashing, and it only added more pressure around Esmerelda's torso.

The blood started rolling down her front and for some odd reason, seeing it get closer to touching the ground made her mind go into a panic. She didn't know why, but she felt like she had to do whatever she could to keep the blood from touching the ground.

"No, no, no...!" She muttered hysterically as the pain worsened. More blood spurted from her chest, dribbling down the sides of her stomach and finally... they spilled to the ground.

The ground started to shake, but Esmerelda had woken up with a gasp before she could see what was happening.

She shot up in a sitting position, the piercing shrieks of her roommates startling her. She looked around, a scream nearly bubbling from her own lips when she realized what was happening. 

Glowing green objects were flying around the room like a cyclone. She could picture frames, lamps, books, even shards of broken glass from the windows, circling around the room. Hannah, Megan, and Susan were cowering in their beds, shielding their heads from the whirling destruction. 

Esmerelda raised her hands and forced everything to stop. Shakily, she put everything back where it belonged and turned to her roommates, who were still sobbing. 

"Go back to sleep," she ordered them, her voice trembling. "Go back to sleep and forget this ever happened." 

The girls lost consciousness after that. 

Esmerelda dug her nails into the blanket, feeling more of her sanity slip away. 

She looked down at her chest. No blood. No injury. She was perfectly fine too. There were no bound marks on her skin either.

A shaky breath escaped her lips as she scooted back until she hit the headboard.

When she said she wanted to stop having nightmares of her brother, she didn't mean to make her dreams even worse.

— author's note —

Back to school chapters are always boring and lame ugh. The one thing I hate the most about writing HP is that literally 80% of the shit going on is just... school stuff... That's so boring, especially if you're writing it 😒 And obviously, Essie's not in all of Harry's classes so I gotta make my own original shit but even THAT'S boring cuz there's no action at the beginning! So all my original scenes are just:

- dreams

- long, drawn out convos

- short and boring studying/homework scenes

- classroom scenes

- and more boring shit ugh

But anyways, have you guys noticed the difference in Essie's personality in the PJO arch and HP arc???

Essie's interaction with PJO characters: 🥺 🥰 😇🧚✨

Essie's interaction with HP characters:  🙂🤬 👿🔪🖕

She's just so much sweeter around the other demigods and shit  😂 😂 😂 But then she goes to the Wizarding Britain and everyone there's just testing her patience  😂 😂 she's really only sweet to certain characters 

A first year: *is scared of her*

Essie: