"Mom" Jamie called repeatedly.

I snap out of my vacant stare and turn to her "yes my love"

She comes over and slips onto the couch beside me "are you okay" she asks.

I put on my best fake smile "of course... come here" I say reaching for her as she shuffles up and into my embrace.

"You don't seem yourself mom" she says as I kiss her forehead, running my fingers softly over her brow.

"I'm not but I will be ... it's been a weird few weeks" I confess honestly.

She looks up to me with her big blues "did you and Leah break up"

I bite the flesh of my inner cheek with my teeth, trying to stifle the way Leah's name now brought such sorrow. A metallic taste of blood hit my tongue as my teeth pierced the flesh gripped between them. I finally answer with honesty "Yes. We aren't together anymore" perhaps the first time I had confessed it since it happened, because I had been actively ignoring calls from Lydia, from family, calls from Teddy, and calls from my friends. I would however be shortly faced with most of them in the flesh, returning to school tomorrow, and a family meal in the evening for Lydia's birthday this week. It would be time to face the music, and add another failed string to my Cupid's bow.

"I'm sorry mom" Jamie says, and she looks me over like she's checking I'm not falling apart.

I smile and reassure her "I'm going to be just fine my love. Your Mom is made of strong stuff... and I don't need anyone other than you three"

She snuggles into my side "you better get to bed" I say looking up to the clock on the wall "it's ten".

Asher and Gage had long been in bed, ready for the return of school in the morning.

"Okay" she agrees. She sits up and kisses my cheek "see you in the morning" she says, standing and padding away in bare feet.

"Love you Jameson" I call after her.

"Love you mom" she throws back from the hallway.

The last few weeks had been strange. Annie had brought the kids home early, she said they should start their new school term here and we should work toward them staying at the one school. There wouldn't be any more of the half yearly bullshit. I was thrown by Annie's sudden change of heart. She had dropped them here, quite without fuss, kissed them goodbye, not stayed to chat, and not made any inappropriate remarks or tried to touch me. It had been a perfect handover, and I was disarmed by it instantly. Why was she being so distant, but also exactly how I had wanted her to be for a year, co parenting only. Between Annie pulling away finally and Leah disappearing from my life over night it all felt a little like I was a pariah. It was like I was somebody everybody ran from, and for the first time in forever...I felt depression kick in. It was a real dark and oppressive cloud. To be in my head, to be Morgan Keaton right now, it was to be in the black, and nothing made it feel better, not yet, but these were early days. I only hoped that time would actually heal, because right now I felt fractured beyond belief.

***
Morning comes and I force myself out of bed. I didn't sleep much, tossing and turning all night. I put on my work outfit, sportswear and a snapback.

"Asher and Gage" I call, opening their bedroom door. They stir in their bunk beds "school... boys....come on. Let's get at it my loves... I will go get back to school pancakes on" I say grabbing each of their duvets and yanking them back. They moaned and groaned at the sudden chill.

"Mom" Asher moaned "stop"

I laugh a little "love you Ash... now get up I can't be late my first morning back"

I leave them sitting up and wiping their tired eyes, and knock on Jamie's door. She opens it automatically and is stood there looking about sixteen all of a sudden. Her hair and make up is done immaculately, and her outfit was a fashionable and expensive designer one. It was something Annie had let her buy that was ridiculously expensive for what it was, basically a fitted t shirt and jeans that should cost under fifty dollars not a thousand.

"Jamie that's too much make up" I say looking her over. My baby's features were all made up far too much for a newly thirteen year old.

"Mom it's what all the girls wear... I'm not going in without it on"

I shake my head "you are beautiful without it love. You will recognise that one day"

She pushes past me "I'm sure" she says sarcastically as I follow her down the stairs, almost jumping in my skin as the doorbell chimes loudly in front of us. "Who is that" she asks.

I frown "no idea" I say pressing the security button and seeing Lydia waving into the screen the other side of the door.

"Aunt Lydia" I groan.

Jamie excitedly throws open the door "Lyd" she squeals.

Lydia appears and squeezes her tightly in a hug. "Jesus Christ Jameson" Lydia says releasing her and looking at her "whose the boy" she asks, pointing and gesturing to her made over appearance.

"Oh there better not be a boy" I say to Jamie.

She rolls her eyes "no boy... I just wanted to look pretty on the first day back" she argues, walking off to the family room

Lydia and I share a glance. There was most probably a boy, fuck!

"Why are you here" I say a little shortly, passing Lydia and heading for the kitchen.

I can hear her take a sharp intake of breath "Wow, no how was your Christmas and new year or happy birthday" she says mockingly, following after me.

"Your birthday is Wednesday ... today is Monday" I throw back.

She slips onto a seat beside the breakfast bar "black coffee" she orders, as if she's at a diner.

"That would be lovely" I return, pointing toward the coffee machine.

She sighs with the effort it takes to slip off of her stool and cross the kitchen. She pressed the buttons before the coffee machine came to life, spluttering and making sounds as it jarred to a stop and filled a cup of steaming hot liquid.

"So" she says placing the cup of coffee at my side as I flipped some pancakes at the stove . "Why are you not taking anyones calls...mom is at hysteria level" she asks, taking a seat and holding her own coffee in her hands.

"I want to be alone" I reply, honestly.

"Alone isn't good for you" she returns, taking a cautious sip of her coffee.

"Says who" I ask.

"Says your sad face and the dark rings under your eyes" she points out, eyebrows raised.

"I got dumped... I'm going to survive Lyd... I just wanted five minutes to take it all in and work through it"

"I'm going to spam Leah's sport profile with negative reviews" Lydia threatens, wrinkling up her nose in agitation.

"No you're not" I suggest strongly "you're going to pretend she never existed just like I am trying to do" I urge, plating up the first couple of pancakes and pouring more batter into the pan for the next two.

"How's that working out for ya then" she asked sarcastically "you know since you're wearing her t shirt and all"

I look down instantly and almost drop the pan in my hand, placing it down on the stove and quickly throwing off my snapback before stripping out of the t shirt that was indeed Leah's. It must have been in my washing pile and I hadn't realised. I had thought it was plain white but on the back was Leah's player number and her name "Mitchell".

"Fuck" I say throwing it to the floor as if it would release a fatal poison if left a second longer on my flesh.

***
Annie sat at her desk in her office watching Morgan and Lydia in the kitchen on the monitor. She was amused to see her throw the t shirt down and throw it in the trash, especially when she saw the reason why. Leah's number and name on the back of it.

Her phone rings and she picks it up confidently and leans back in her chair "yes" she asks. It's her lawyer, they are about to serve Morgan with the paperwork for this divorce. She leant forward quickly and switched the monitor to the front door as she spotted the guy press the doorbell, in his hand the large brown envelope. "Thanks for letting me know" she replied and she placed the phone back down sharply as she leans in to get a good view of Morgan opening the door. There is a look of confusion washing over Morgans face as she takes the brown envelope. She walks back into the kitchen, and Annie switches screens. She watches the envelope open and the way Morgan throws her hand over mouth. She shuts the screen off, not wanting to see more, only that she had received it. She knew she would call.

Annie kept her word, the divorce was in motion. The custody agreement had been the hardest thing to write up. She didn't want to miss her children any longer than she had too, so although she made it 60/40 like that whore had asked, that didn't mean she wouldn't be with them 50/50, if not more. She would move back to Arizona herself, when the kids were there longer for school. She would buy an apartment in the city. Leah didn't say anything about that. Annie didn't intend to lose Morgan, she would only let her go, in the hopes she would come back, and return once more to her. If she played her cards right she knew she could win her back. She loved her. She had to. If she was around more and doing what Morgan had always wanted, being in Arizona, spending more time with them, and being supportive of Morgan's dreams...they could make it work, she knew it.

***
"What is it" Lydia asks, coming to my side and peering over my shoulder at the papers in my hand

"Annie finally signed the divorce papers... and she's given me everything I wanted" I say beginning to cry at the realisation. The relief. My baby's were staying put, with me. No sharing constantly. Only in the holidays "Lydia she's given me it all" I repeat.

Lyd hugs me tightly "I knew she would come good... there was never any denying that Annie loved you. Unlike Leah...she never fucked off" she says spitefully

I want to correct her, but it's true isn't it. Leah abandoned me so casually. It was as if I had been a bag of garbage put out on the curb. Annie never had abandoned me, or left me, if anything she had held on too tightly.

"I have to call her" I say, pointing to the pancakes "finish them off will you"

Asher and Gage walk in sleepily but dressed "aunt Lydia" they squeal when they see her.

I smile. They seem to wake up with the surprise, before running into her arms "be right back boys. Please eat up"

I take the stairs two at a time until I'm in the office in our old master bedroom. I slip into the office chair beside the desk and look out to the neighbourhood as I pick up the phone. It rings for a few moments before the familiar voice picks it up "Morning Morg" she greets "did you receive good tidings" she asks cheerily.

I frown at how calm and somewhat happy she sounds "Annie... thank you" I whisper through fresh and relieved tears.

"Morgan I love you... I will love you forever... enough to give you what you deserve, all of it. If I could give you it all I would... but I need to see our babies too" she says softly.

"I never wanted you to see less of them Annie, only a fair fifty fifty split" I say honestly "and yet you gave me more... why" I ask.

"Morgan I'm moving back. I will be the one going fifty fifty instead of the kids. I hope you won't mind if I'm around for them in Arizona... I won't interfere with your time, only assist with school picks ups or drop offs, clubs and things like that, a helping hand. I will work the gallery there myself for a while, manage it and get it back up to scratch. They need a firm taskmaster there. They've let it get lacks in my absence"

"And Tasha" I ask.

"Tasha can come and go as she pleases. She's mainly in New York but I know she would come here too when she has time. I would obviously be with her there when the kids were out of school"

"Obviously" I return, and I feel emotional, like this is finally the end of us. After so long it was finally coming to its end. "Why are you so happy about it all of a sudden" I ask "are you that in love with her already that you are planning to make her wife number two" I ask a little irked at her happiness when it made me feel so sad to finally see it all in black and white.

Annie laughs "not quite ready for wife number two Morg... I'm barely over wife number one" she confesses.

I frown "almost though" I ask. I feel that deeper than expected. I had wanted it so long and now Annie was finally walking in the opposite direction and falling out of it all with me, it hit so fresh. I'm not sure how much of that was me currently grieving Leah, but it just hit harder than expected.

"Getting there" she confessed "slowly but surely..."

"Good... I'm glad" I return "listen I have to go feed these kids for school... I just wanted to thank you..."

"You don't have to. Have a good first week back Morg... see you soon"

I sigh "see you soon Annie"

We were all starting over, but I was the only one starting over alone. Annie had Tasha and Leah had Spencer, and that realisation hit me directly in the guts...

Morgan Keaton. Lousy in love. I should most definitely never try it again.

My life's new motto "never again"

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]