I had spent the afternoon avoiding Annie after our encounter in the pool. She was busy on work calls and I was busy making up my schedule for the new school year up in my office.

"Hey" she says, finally popping her head around the corner of the door.

I look back to her from my desk and then up to the clock on the wall. It was six thirty. "Dinner is at seven thirty you better finish up" she suggests.

I take a deep breath and gather my thoughts "okay I will be out in a minute" I offer.

She walks over and squeezes my shoulders "are you mad" she asks.

I look sideways a little surprised at her question "about" I ask.

She kisses my cheek "about me not spending more time with you this afternoon"

I close my eyes a little, not that she can see "no I'm not mad" I return.

She squeezes my shoulders again "okay" she replies, and she releases me and leaves back out of the door.

I turn and look to the space she had vacated. The pencil in my fingers slips through my loosened grip and clangs on the wooden top. My eyes look to the window, out to the neighbour walking his cockerpoo down the pathway. I spot my reflection and I frown, because my eyes are so empty, it scares me... I feel so sad, so sad it's like I'm going to be sucked into a rip tide and carried off to be drowned in the heaviness of it. The quickness in which it overcame me, it shocked me, and I knew it was from this afternoon, the confusion and guilt that washed over me after Annie and I had been intimate. It was a grief, a painful, painful, grief, because it was over, it was really over, whether Annie agreed to see it or not, she no longer lit my world on fire. I loved her, but clearly the love we had, it was burning out, and my ability to cope with her, it was waining. I no longer had it in me to play this game with her. I had to talk to her tonight and set some boundaries. I had to give her my truth, because there was no coming back from this, and it pained me to even think it, to even suggest it, let alone say it. Annie and I, we were done.

I would never be intimate with Annie again. Our romantic relationship, in my mind, had officially ceased to exist, because although it brought pleasure, the pain wasn't worth it. Annie would not take this well, hell it scared me a little if I was honest, how she would take it. I hadn't much been on the end of her anger, but she would, I knew, take this anger into the divorce and she would take everything from me, for sport. I just knew it. If Annie loved you fiercely she would equally flip that on you. You know her mom warned me once, that Annie perhaps loved me a little too much... and that might not be the best thing. I didn't understand why she would say that. She had been nothing but wonderful to me, a little controlling but wonderful and loving too. I was about to see the flip side... I was terrified of it, and the dagger that currently drew down my chest, ripping flesh from bone, it was the truth of the fact I had allowed her to take my body for a lot longer than she should have, because I wanted to avoid this moment, the moment she could potentially try and hit me where my heart beat, my children. She could try and take our children... they were the only way she could destroy me, my dreams, my babies, my world.

I wouldn't let her take my children.

I stand up from the desk feeling a little weak, and as I walk out into the bedroom I feel dizzy. I'm walking in a daze, like I'm perhaps not even in my body. I look down to the bed and see an outfit laid out.

"I set out your outfit" she says "you look good in that" she adds.

I can hear her, but it's like I'm under water, like her mouth is moving and I'm struggling to make out her words. I nod. I just nod. I take the dress into the bathroom to put it on, slipping it up over my naked torso as she comes in behind me and zips it up "I knew that would look amazing on you" she whispers, and she kisses my bare shoulder. I flinch a little.

I want to cry as I look at our reflection in the mirror. The room felt like it was closing in on me. I couldn't breath all of a sudden... and that's the last thing I remember, as my entire body collapsed to the floor, and Annie's concerned voice echoed through my unconsciousness as everything went black.

***

"Dehydrated and no food in her system" Annie explains.

My moms voice intermingles "why isn't she eating" she asks.

"It sounds like she's not been taking care of herself" Annie adds.

My eyelashes flicker a little as I start to come too. "I should never have let her keep up with this silly charade to live alone away from us" Annie adds.

My mom agrees "I'm worried about her"

"We should talk to her together" Annie suggests.

"We should" Mom agrees.

"Guys she forgot to eat today and passed out... she's hardly wasting away and not taking care of herself. It's been ridiculously hot today... give her a break" Lydia says coming to my side and taking my hand. Her fingers sweep over my forehead tenderly as my eyes open. "Hi" she says smiling down at me.

"Hi" I return croakily. I look at the room and don't recognise it "where am I" I ask.

She tenderly strokes my face "The hospital" my mom interjects at her side.

"You passed out" Annie explains, taking my other hand. I pull it away. She looks a little hurt, but I don't want her to touch me... I heard exactly what she said as I was coming round and this charade as she called it was about to become a permanent thing. This had to end tonight. I sit up and they all go to grab me to steady me, but I don't want to be here. I want to go home and finish this conversation, because if I didn't end this with Annie tonight I feared for my mental health, and to be quite honest my physical health.

***
I am flicking through my social media for the first time in weeks. I check my follower list and am drawn to the name of the second to last person who added me "Lydia Keaton" I read out loud. I squint at her picture before clicking on her profile. Oh this had to be Morgan's sister. She looked so much like her and she was in Scottsdale Arizona. I flick through her pictures until I come across one from over a month ago. It was a picture of Lydia and Morgan holding up a glass of wine as Lydia points to her mom just behind them in the shot. They are both making faces, and the caption reads "She drives us to drink"

I let out a laugh at Morgan's cross eyed expression, even making a ridiculously stupid face she looked adorable.

I click on her profile icon to see her story, two hours ago she was at the drive thru getting a burger with a friend... and then the next story pops up "from burgers to the hospital with the sis @morgKeaton. If only she ate like I did. All in a days work... "🍔🍟👩🏼‍⚕️ an hour ago.

I panic. She's in hospital. Why is she in hospital?! And I feel out of control...to not know the answers, and so I dial Teddy.

"Hey Mitchell" she says sleepily.

"Were you in bed" I ask.

She yawns "about to... why what's up"

"Do you know if Morgan is okay. I just saw she was in hospital" I ask, trying to hide my panic.

"No" Teddy replies, sounding like it was the first she had heard of it, and a little worried herself.

"Let me go find out" She says.

I nod and bite my nails as she clicks off.

"What's wrong" my date asks, walking into her room from the shower.

I throw on my jacket "I have to go"

She looks surprised "oh okay"

I am apologetic "this was lovely but ... there's something I have to do"

I don't know what the etiquette is after a sexual encounter when wanting to split after a date. It was a blind date my friends had set up for me, and whilst Vanessa was lovely, and I enjoyed this little evening together...I was not about to stay with her when Morgan was now flooding my mind.

To be honest, this had been my first date in a long time, certainly my first since Morgan, and if not for my friends encouraging me to go...I shouldn't think I would have. Vanessa had been sweet, a nice girl, conversation had been easy enough, and she had been quite forward to pursue more after the date. We had sex, it was nice, but it missed something, and what I would come to realise is, that all girls I met after Morgan, they missed something, because once I had felt that thing with her, this insane sensation, this...spark, nothing else mattered. It would be like searching for the lost city of Atlantis, the tales were told, the story not quite believed, that it existed in real life, not until you saw it with your own eyes, and when you felt like you had discovered it, there is no comparison to that feeling of discovering the tales were true....and the spark, it led me to ... you!

***

I leave quickly, get into my car and lock the door before my phone rings and it's Teddy "is she okay" I ask before she can even say a word.

"Yes...she passed out but she's home now" Teddy informs me "so don't worry..." she urges soothingly "she's okay"

My heart beats a little fast, relieved, but I can't help the pang I feel in my guts to not be able to go to her, to not be her person or in her world at all. It hurts...and that's ridiculous because it was only a fling...not even a fling...it was one night...nine months apart and a walk in the dark.

"Thanks Teddy...for checking" I return.

She sighs "of course Le" she replies "but text her...and let her know your thinking of her, because I bet she's been thinking of you. See you soon" she says.

"I will...see you soon Nomikos"

***

Annie shuts the door behind us as we enter the house. I turn the lights on and move into the kitchen to pour a drink.

"Should I order take out" Annie asks.

I shake my head as I sip a water.

"You are so hungry you passed out, and you still don't want to eat...should I be concerned Morg" she asks walking over and taking my shoulders.

I wriggle out of her grip and walk away to the patio doors, looking out to the dark of the yard. The pool is lit up and glowing turquoise. I think of earlier and close my eyes, to the ache of the truth.

"Annie ..." I begin.

She comes up behind me and pulls me back into her arms, inhaling my neck "I love you so much" she whispers.

My eyes clamp shut as she kisses me softly on my shoulder. "Annie" I say again turning around and removing her hands from me "we need to talk"

She nods "agreed ... we need to discuss you coming back with me" she says as if it's the plan and I'm just going to follow her like a puppy.

I frown "no" I state "no that's not happening and I'm not sure why you would think that"

"Because you are my wife and you're not taking care of yourself. I want you home where I can keep an eye on you" she says, brushing her hand up my arm.

"Oh you want to keep an eye on me alright...but not for me...for you. Annie I don't want to be your wife anymore" i confess once again.

She grabs my hand and tugs me toward her "you did this morning when you begged for me in the pool"

"Did I say that willingly or did you tell me what to say? Annie that was sex...just sex, it means nothing"

Her eyes narrow at me "Morgan stop trying to make this a thing...you're not leaving me" she says as if I'm being childish.

I pull my hand from hers. I'm angry now. I'm angry and sad, and that's not a good combination. I kind of feel like a wild animal  backed into a corner. She moves forward and my back hits the glass door, her hands reaching for me. I bat them away. She looks irritated. I know if she grabs me now it's going to hurt.

"I won't let you touch me ever again, nothing. I will never have sex with you, never kiss you, and never let you degrade me for your own pleasure, not again Annie...and if you so much as try and touch me right now I'm calling the police" I warn.

She laughs, and it sends chills down my spine.

"What would you say...that your wife touched you. I'm sure they would love to hear about that ...let's not forget the security footage of you happily fucking me in the pool this afternoon. Oh Morgan... you make it sound like I would force you...but I've never had to force you to do anything, you want it, you enjoy it, and you beg for it..."

I'm trembling now, with anger. I look her up and down, her words are like short sharp stabs. She makes me feel so utterly weak with her words, as if I am foolish and less than.

"Then let me be clear...this time. I don't want it. I don't desire it...and I don't fucking consent to it" and I point up to the nearest security camera "I don't consent" I shout clearly with tears pricking my eyes, and then I look back to her defiantly "this is over Annie... When I say I want a divorce I am not playing with you. I am serious, we need to move on, and you need to accept it's over...and that I am no longer yours" and with those last words she grabs my face, her hand squeezing my cheeks so hard my lips push out with the force which makes me cry out a little.

She sees the fear in my eyes and let's me go "I'm sorry" she says, perhaps a little shocked in herself. Her eyes are full of pain. She turns and walks away, out of the room, and as the door slams, out of the house entirely.

This wasn't over, it was only the beginning,

***
I fall onto the bed, sobbing, my stomach pained by the way my body contracted with each suffocating cry released. So much sorrow, and so much pain. Another love lost, another wreckage to flee, another person that took a part of me and didn't give it back. I was done. I couldn't do this again. I couldn't do anything. In this moment it would be so easy to just cease to fucking exist.

Then my phone lit up beside my wet cheek, and as my tears ran down my lips and into the sheets I reach out for it and see her name. I see her words...and like a hand reaching out in the dark, she pulls me back.

L- I know it's been a while, but I just wanted you to know, that I think about you...and that for some reason I care. I care a lot. So please look after yourself, for me... x Goodnight Andromeda x Yours, Perseus.

M- I will be okay, slaying my own monsters this time, Perseus. I think about you too, perhaps too much, and I wish I would have stayed. If one night should last forever, it was that night with you...x Goodnight x

***
I'm just falling asleep as the phone dings and I reach across to the bedside table and hold it up to see Morgan's name. My heart races. I unlock the screen so quickly I almost drop the phone. I had not been expecting a reply, she never did reply to me after our night together and yet here she was, not just replying but as I took in every word three times over almost disbelievingly, she was telling me something, admitting she liked me, as much as I perhaps liked her. The smile that lifts my lips as I lay in the dark rereading Morgan's words, it stays, it takes up permanence, because this was the moment things changed. I realised that when I next saw her, it couldn't be the last time, it had to be the first time. It had to be more, and if she had to go slow I would walk with her. I would carry her if I had too. I just had to arrive there with her, to a place we could both discover what this was....

Atlantis

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

***