"It was always you Nioki." She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, biting her lip. "I know things got complicated but it was only you, the entire time..." her voice trails off.

I bite my lip, contemplating. "I just don't understand how things came to this.." I shake my head. "It just, it doesn't add up." She had already explained the situation but i couldn't come to terms with everything.

"I think he just got so wrapped up with our friendship he forgot about what he really wanted: you. You know how he is, he gets distracted so easily and forgets everything. I know it seemed like he abandoned you but you should've heard how he talked about you. You put the stars in the sky. And your schedules...they never aligned. I fell for him, but i never stood a chance, Nioki. Not even slightly. When we 'dated', it was just an attempt to make you jealous and have you crawl back to him." She laughs, almost to herself. "Didn't really work, did it?"

I laugh too, shaking my head. "No, i don't suppose it did."

She places a hand on mine, squeezing it comfortingly. "You love him, don't you?"

I look down, sighing and holding back tears. "I-i dont know. I feel like i'm torn between a choice i can never make." I mentally hold Deidara and Hidan side by side in my head. "What do i do Tukiko?"

She smiles sympathetically. "Im not the one to tell you. This is a decision only you can make. A conflicted heart, i understand."

Three days had passed. THREE DAYS since i had seen either of the boys. I think they felt obligated to give me space but it was KILLING ME. Being on bad terms with Hidan after the way our fight had gone and awkward terms with Dei after our almost-kiss and me having to blow off his very important thing for my disaster of a date. How was it possible for me to manage to fuck up every single thing? I throw my pencil across the room in frustration. So much for my attempt at drawing. All i had managed was squiggles that somehow formed an image and, oddly, reminded me of Dei. I smile before groaning and chucking a pillow, hitting something with a soft thud.

"Damn it Nioki. Watch it, will ya?" I hear the smile in his voice before i even have a chance to look up. Dei walks closer to me, taking my hand softly in his. "I wanted to give you space but its killing me. Have you had enough Nioki time?"

I laugh, lightly punching his shoulder. "I was wondering when you'd stop by, actually." I bite my lip as i look up at him, squinting.

In a fraction of a second, his face completely shifts. His hold on my hand gets just a little tighter and he looks into my eyes. "Nioki, there's something i need you to see..."

I gently plop down on his bed, nervously tapping my foot and rubbing my palms to calm the nerves tingling in my hands. I hear him shuffling through a drawer before it closes, a single box of gold wrapping and dark blue ribbon in one hand and an envelope consisting of my name, written in Dei's scratchy handwriting, in the other. Slowly making his way over to me, he clears his throat. "I- um- here..." he takes a seat next to me, placing the items into my hands. Our fingers brush, making my heart skip a beat. I look into his eyes, a thousand memories flooding my brain almost immediately.

"Dei...what is this?" I look at the little box, beckoning me to open it and reveal its secrets. I swallow the lump forming in my throat, trying to form words. I was nervous, i knew i was. But why? When he says nothing, i glance his way. He fiddles with his hands as he stares at the floor. Carefully, i unfold the ribbon and tear the flimsy gold paper off of the box. Deidara is watching me, holding his breath. I lift the lid and my heart stops. In the box lay a golden heart pendant with a beautifully carved N on the front. I look at Dei as he motions for me to open it. I gently pull the pendant out of the box before opening the pendant. I gasp; it was breathtaking. Inside, the pendant was sculpted to be a 3-D representation of half the earth surrounded by a whirling galaxy of black, pink, purple, silver stars, and a crescent moon. I place the box on the bed and pull him into a hug. "Not that i don't love it, but...why?"

Dei scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "Just wait. That's not all." He holds up the envelope. I place the pendant in my lap and shakily reach for it, tearing it open and pulling out a letter.

Nioki,

Today, for various reasons, is a very important day. The most obvious and important reason: Happy Birthday! Its a really special day for a very special person. I hope today is everything you dreamed it would be - and more. Today is also THE day. I have something planned for just you and i. I have something of great value to tell you and i cant wait to make the moment perfect- to make your day perfect. I know we've drifted apart lately and it saddens me, especially knowing it is mostly my doing. I hope to make up lost time, to make it up to you. I feel like a part of you hates me and i cant have that now can i? *insert the sexiest Deidara wink you can possibly think of* Not even going to lie, finding a gift for you was impossible. Nothing seemed good enough to give you. Didnt even come close. So i decided to create the perfect gift for you myself. I hope you truly love it. It was honestly the best masterpiece i have created. I hope this is the first step towards mending what is now a shattered bond. I cannot apologize enough for my actions because there is no reason that makes it acceptable. I miss you. I miss us. But we will talk later so i don't want to drag this on too long. Happy fucking birthday to one of the most important people in my life. Meeting you was honestly the BANG i needed. This pendant is a representation of us. Nioki, you lit up my world, you put the stars in the sky for me. I want you to always remember that and by wearing this, you'll understand how much you have impacted my world.

Yours truly,

Dei

Tears splatter onto my cheeks, slipping onto the paper. I hurriedly fold it back up, shoving it, along with the pendant, into the envelope. "Is this a joke!" I hold up the envelope furiously. I stand up hastily, stumbling around clumsily. He stands as well, eyes as wide as disks. "Missing my birthday was the worst thing you could have ever done Dei. It fucked me up and now you have the nerve to show me THIS? What is this? If this is some intimate plan to make me just magically forgive everything you did, YOU ARE WRONG." I swipe at my tears and shove the envelope into his chest. "Where was this on my birthday? Huh? If that day was so important to you, why weren't you there?" At this point, my voice had cracked to many times to count and my vision was blurry. He opens and closes his mouth. Once. Twice. He swallows. I shake y head, storming out the door as he finally manages to get out my name.

I sit on my bed, knees curled to my chest, sad music blasting in my headphones. I loved the gift, the note and maybe that's why it hurt so badly. It meant so much but where was all of that when i needed it most, when it mattered most? I'm sure he meant it to be harmless, meant it genuinely but it all seemed deceiving. Why couldn't he have shown up and given it to me before. Now it all just seemed staged. A way to pull me in and forget everything that's happened. How was i to know if he had planned on giving it to me on my birthday? I hear a knock at my door before Itachi walks in, envelope in hand.

"I don't want it." I sigh and turn away from him.

He approaches my bed slowly, gently setting the box down then taking a seat. He pulls my headphones out and turns me towards him. "I think it's time i told you..." He sighs. "I think i understand what's going on." He pauses. "Trust me, give him a chance to explain."

i shake my head. "I can't."

Itachi sighs. "He showed up."

i furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The night of your birthday. You got tired of waiting for him to show, we all did. But you took it hard Nioki. You walked away, trying to play it off like it didn't matter but you fell apart."

I was baffled. Did he really just say what i think he said. "I'm not sure i understand."

Taking a breath, he continues. "About an hour after you had isolated yourself in the room, Deidara showed up, present in hand, smile on his face. After taking a look around at the disaster scene in the living room, he asked what happened, where you were. We told him the party was over, you weren't feeling well and he tried to go see you. He called your name multiple times before we told him it was best if he left. He tried, Nioki. We wouldn't let him see you."

I felt the anger rising in my chest. "All this time-" i stopped to steady my breathing and process my thoughts. "All this time you let me believe he never showed, that he didnt care?"

"He had already put you through so much, already ruined your mood and your party, Nioki. We didn't want him to hurt you anymore than he already had."

"That wasn't your choice to make! As for hurting me further, you really fucked up didn't you?" I rub my temples and let out a sarcastic laugh. "You saw how hurt i was, how badly that affected me and you're telling me this NOW? Why, because he decided to grow a pair and give me the present?" I shake my head in frustration. "I've gotta go." I grab the envelope, running out of the room in a rush to find Dei.

I knock lightly on the door-frame before making my way into his room. "You showed up... the night of my birthday. You showed up and no one ever told me. Dei...I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say."

He stands, making his way to me with outstretched arms. "Shh." he pulls me to him. "I wanted to tell you Nioki. I wanted nothing more than to have you know i didn't abandon you, especially on that day. I spent hours looking for the perfect present to get you but to no avail. Everything i found seemed too insignificant a gift to give you. I lost track of time and i finally decided to make you something myself, something meaningful. When i arrived, i was too late. Nioki, that's my biggest regret. If i had just made it on time, things could've turned out so much differently. Maybe we wouldn't be stuck in this situation because we could've followed through with my plans. i would've told you how i felt that night."

He reaches for the envelope, pulling out the pendant and turning me around. Pushing my hair aside, he places it on my neck, reaching slightly below the collarbone, and clasps it. His fingers graze my skin, sending goosebumps down my arms and nerves tingling in my hands. I slowly turn around to face him. His hands reach for my waist, drawing me to him like two magnets made perfectly for one another. My hands, reaching into his irresistibly plush hair, pulled his face to mine, an inch of space the only thing keeping us apart. Our breathing was ragged, uncontrollable, ultimately leaving us breathless. I couldn't control myself. My body wanted this. I wanted this more than I cared to admit. I craved him: his touch, his kisses. Not sure which one of us had given in, our lips met in an electrifying crash. My body hummed with the satisfaction of the moment. It seemed as if it lasted forever but was broken as I pull away, breathless and gasping for air. He leans forward, kissing me again, this time gently but not without passion. He runs his hands through my hair before we break away, foreheads pressed together as we process the moment.
"Surprise!" Dei smiles. "Happy birthday Nioki. That's how it should've been."
This was a surprise alright. Although he may not have planned this moment to play out in exactly this way, the element of surprise sure did have a way of creeping up on me in the most inconvenient times. And as was to be expected, things surely were about to become increasingly more difficult. What the hell did I just get myself into?