I thought surely he would've changed his mind, his anger speaking for him, but a week passed and I hadn't even seen a glimpse of Hidan. Deidara and I were still nonexistent to each other. And on top of that, I had to suffer the pain of, not only losing him, but of my best friend and the guy I had liked for so long dating. Thinking back on it, meeting him 9 months ago had been a blessing and a curse. My head was spinning. Somehow, I had lost both of them.

I stop as I see them walking past, hands locked together. I bite my lip as I take a deep breath. She walks into a store, leaving him outside to wait. Seeing his face brought back so many things...so many feelings. How long had it even been? I wanted to say something, anything. But somehow, words didn't seem like enough, not that I could think of the right ones anyway. I missed him. So much it hurt. And suddenly my chance was gone. Deidara had walked away, a single, longing glance back.

We all sat uptight and awkward around the table. It was a forced Akatsuki hang out day and they had decided on board games and cards. Hidan sat across from me, forever avoiding my direction while Deidara and Tukiko chose a seat to the side. The rest of the Akatsuki were on break, which they did very frequently in some lame ass attempt to make us get along. The silence was looming, tempting a conversation. I heard a sigh and eventually Hidan stalked off. I watch him as he walks off, a sigh escaping my lips. Tukiko shoots Deidara a questioning look before walking off herself. We were alone. Being alone with Deidara scared me. The silence reminded me of my feelings for him. The fact that I had stayed quiet about how I felt. It was all too painful...the memories were too much.
"What happened?" It was barely audible, like he hadn't even spoken.
I stare down at my cards, afraid to speak, afraid the wrong words might come out.
"...with him." He says motioning to Hidan although he had already left the room.
I push my hair behind my ear and stand angrily. "Like you care." I throw my cards down and head out of the room before I am stopped by a hand gently grazing my arm and taking hold of my wrist. Just tight enough to keep me there but not enough to actually harm me. I feel a small gasp escape my lips and my heart speed up. He turns me around, pulling me close and taking both my hands in his.
He hugs me. "I do...I do care." He pauses. "I promise."
I push him away, walking out the door angrily as I brush my tears away.
"Nioki!" I feel hands grab my waist, making me stop dead in my tracks.
Hurriedly I swipe at my tears, attempting to make them disappear. Deidara steps in front of me and gently grand my arm.
I push them away. "Stop! Stop. Stop..." I push him away as well and take a step back, creating distance.   Tears ran down my face and I clenched my fists.
"Just talk to me...let me help." His voice was pleading and somehow that made it all worse.
"You don't get to do this Deidara. You can't just walk away and then come waltzing back into my life and think everything's fine! We aren't."
He stayed silent, contemplating what to say. It seemed like forever before he finally spoke. "Just let me try..."
I shake my head, making tears spring to the ground and leaving little wet spatters. "No. I'm not going to let you keep breaking me."
"I can fix it. Fix us..." I heard him let out a breath.
"How do you fix something that started out broken?"