I pull away from the kiss to see Sasori.

I stand and awkwardly clear my throat. "I should change..." Hidan exits, followed by Sasori.

I plop onto the bed and rub my temples. What did I get myself into? And what was I doing? It's not like I had actual feelings for Hidan...right? It's always been Deidara so what was I doing? I sigh. This was getting very complicated.

Days had passed and neither Deidara nor Hidan had spoken much to me and I tried with every ounce of me to avoid Sasori. Itachi was out on a mission so I couldn't rant my problems to him and Kisame wasn't exactly -how do I put this- confiding material. My birthday was in a few days and with all this...confusion, I had no idea what I was planning on doing. I had to grab them alone. Literally grab. I gripped Deidara's wrist and pulled him outside the base.

He turns to me, a bewildered expression on his face. "Nioki?"

I flash him a friendly smile. "Can we talk?"

He laughs softly. "Do I have a choice?"

I shake my head. "Not really." We took a giant step. An actual conversation. "Look..." I release his wrist and awkwardly look at my feet, "I know things aren't exactly great between us but despite everything that has happened, I still consider both you and Tukiko my friends."

He crosses his arms. "Where is this going?" He inquires with a slight frown.

"My birthday is on the 22nd and I want you to come...well and Tukiko."

He stays silent for a moment before nodding. "Yeah I will be there."

I shake my head. "No...I-I need you to promise...please. Promise you will be there, no matter what."

He puts his hands on my shoulders. "I promise. No matter what, I will be there."

Without thinking, I reach out and wrap my arms around him in a warm bear hug. He hugs me back and then we back away, both blushing. "Well...i um...better go make dinner." I hastily walk back into the base.

"Nioki, what is this?" Many members had walked into the kitchen to find a well put together meal all around. I found it kind of funny when some of them found themselves drooling.

Everybody had come into the kitchen for dinner and I take the apron off, neatly hanging it on a hook in the kitchen by the door. "I just thought I would show my appreciation to you guys for, well, everything. You guys have become an important part in my life and without you guys in it, I'm not complete. You guys were with me with all the bumps in the road and helped me through the ups and downs." I flash a broad smile at them, my eyes gleaming with pride. I looked around at each of them. They all felt like family but there was one problem. I still didnt know where Hidan and Deidara stood.

~The 21st~

I looked around the base in awe. "Guys...this is...amazing. Thank you so much." The decorations around the base were set up for my birthday-which was tomorrow. There was streamer everywhere and in the living room was a huge banner with 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIOKI!' and gallons were tied in bunches and the floor was littered with confetti and balloons as well. (There were more decorations than that but it would take too long to describe.) The whole base made me speechless. "You guys did all of this for...me?" I was unbelieving. There was just no way that they did this just for me.

Everybody smiles and accumulates around me. "Of course! We want you to have a very special birthday." I go around, handing out hugs to everyone, even, surprisingly, Kakuzu and Pein. Zetsu, however, refused. There was a slight pang in my chest as I realize, but to no surprise, that Deidara wasn't here. Of course he was with Tukiko...the day before my birthday...instead of helping with MY party. I couldn't help but feel selfish. After everything he did to me and how he hurt me and he still chooses Tukiko. It was enraging how thoughtless he was. I sit on the couch with a sigh.

"So um...has anyone seen Deidara?" I was trying to make it seem like I didn't really care he wasn't here.

Itachi takes a seat next to me. "It's killing you, isnt it?"

I lie my head on his shoulder. "Is it obvious?" I shake my head slightly. I needed to stop being so stressed and not so obvious about the way I felt for Deidara.

Laughing fills the room and I jerk my head to see what all the commotion was. Right in front of my very eyes was Deidara with Tukiko. So I was right, he did ditch for Tukiko. Why not...

I crinkle my nose in distaste. How...pleasant. I put my head on Itachi's shoulder. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Thanks Nioki. Because we made up, I decided that me and Tukiko should too. I was so tired of fighting with her. Thank you."

"Yay..." I say with as little enthusiasm possible before walking out of the living room and into my room, slamming the door.

I hear Itachi's voice say quietly, "I will go talk to her." And then footsteps and a knock.

I bury my head in my pillows and I hear the slight squeak of the door as it opens and a soft click as it closes again. "Go away...please." Leave it to Itachi to be concerned. But I really just wanted to be alone right now.

~The 22nd~

My eyes flutter open in exhaustion. I was still extremely tired but I refuse to sleep in late. I stretch and yawn obnoxiously before opening my door and nearly having a heart attack.

The Akatsuki members had been outside my door with poppers to blow in my face and confetti to throw at my face. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They all shout enthusiastically in unison.

I nearly jump out of my skin before putting a smile on my face to cover up my embarrassment. "Thanks guys!"

Someone-not sure who-throws a small cake in my face and then quickly snaps a picture. Then they hold up an Akatsuki cloud cake with candles on it. "Make a wish." Hidan smirks and Itachi flashes me a shy and unnoticeable-to anyone but me-smile.

I close my eyes.  I wish...i wish... I couldn't think of anything. I wish that deidara will keep his promise and come through for me. And I won't end up heartbroken. I open my eyes and blow out the candles.

It was getting darker and the real fun was about to begin. More cake to eat along with accompanying ice cream and soda and even some sake. Then present opening. We had just spent the day being well...crazy. Dancing to up beat music and singing off key karaoke. Then we all played "dress up" with unmatching, funky outfits. We also square danced and did a swing dance with partners. Needless to say, we had a bunch of fun. I sit on the couch, fatigued and exhausted. By this time, me and Sasori had finally gotten over the awkward walk in. To be honest, I'm kind of glad he did walk in. But I would never tell him that. I look at the clock...7:38. Deidara still wasn't here and I was beginning to think he wasn't going to show at all but then this pang started in my chest. He had to be here...he just had to be.

He should've been here, should've burst through the door with that 'baby I'm right here' smile. And I would've been so happy. All around me there's crazy things happening but I've got my eye on the door just waiting for him to walk in. But the time is ticking.

"How have you been? Nioki." I smile to show I've been good and they walk away.

People continually ask me how I've been as I comb back through my memory. He said he'd be here. He promised.

I began opening presents but instead of feeling cordial and happy, everything was the opposite. It was like slow motion, sitting there in my party dress. In red lipstick...with no one to impress. And they're all laughing as I'm looking around the room. But they're was one thing missing...and that was the moment I knew. Deidara...he wasn't coming.

I pretend to have a good time and thank everyone with an exciting tone for my presents. I wouldn't ruin their time, which they were obviously enjoying.

I keep waiting for the door to swing open with deidara bursting through saying "did ya miss me?" But it never came. I head towards my room, walking slowly, head up but holding back tears. The hours pass by and I just wanna be alone but his/my close friends always seem to know when there's something really wrong...so they follow me down the hall. And there in the bathroom, I try-to no avail-not to fall apart but this sinky feeling starts as I say hopelessly..."He said he'd be here." I slide down against the wall, my knees close against my chest. I was staring zombie like at the wall in front of me like no one  was there, observing me. It was like slow motion, sitting there in my party dress. With my red lip stick but no one to impress. Everyone continuously asks me about Deidara but there's nothing left to say. What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? And what do you do when the one who means the most to you...is the one who didnt...show? Everyone had crowded into the bathroom and outside the door with straight faces, an eerie silence passing through the room.

He should've been here. And I would've been...so happy. Ecstatic that he had actually kept his promise. Everyone sings happy birthday in an attempt to cheer me up but that was the moment I knew. I should've given up on him a long time ago. I...I had to let him go. I stand up and slump into Itachi's open arms, silently crying into his broad shoulders.I absolutely hated for everyone to see me like this.

Itachi leads me to my room where he places me gently into the bed before giving me a small hug. "Take all the time you need. We understand. And you're like a sister to me, Nioki. And Deidara has hurt you deeply and when I see him, I'm gonna kick his ass." He stands and walks out, closing the door behind him. 

I see a picture of me and Deidara at the beach that Tukiko had taken. We were both smiling cheeky grins into the camera like nothing could tear us apart. And then I see one of all three of us at a cafe drinking coffee, arms interlinked. I pick up the pictures and throw them across the room, smashing and breaking against the door. I scream in frustration as I begin throwing more Deidara associated things across the room. I hadn't realized I had been screaming the entire time until my raw throat started to burn and Hidan and Itachi come running in along with Kisame. I had a shuriken in my hand and was about to throw it through the blurry haze when Kisame pulls me against him, gently taking the shuriken away.

"Nioki..." He trails off. I knew he didnt know what to say. Take one look at me and you wouldn't have. I was a train wreck that continued to  fall apart. "Are..are you okay? What's happening with you?" There was genuine concern in his voice along with worry for my well-being.

I was choking on my words and the tears wouldn't stop coming, wouldn't stop pouring. "It....it hurts. Everything hurts! I feel like mt heart has been torn out of my chest. There's so much pain. Why! Why would he submit me to this! What did I do to deserve this!" I was fuming and broken. Words were spilling out of my mouth.

He pulls away. "I know. I know it does. And seeing you in this condition, it kills me especially to know that I can't do anything to help you, to dull the agonizing pain you're going through. And I'm sorry."

"Let me take over." Hidan was here. He was going to help numb the pain. I hoped so at least.

Itachi and Kisame exit the room, leaving Hidan and I alone. My body was racked with sobs and he runs my back gently, putting his mouth by my ear. "I know what you're going through. I know how you hurt and you feel broken. And you think your world is crashing down. But it gets better...i promise."

I shake my head. "Don't-dont promise me anything. I don't want to be lied to or let down again. I can't take this."

He nods. "I know. But..." He looks at the wall, considering something intently. "I know...how to stop the pain. If you're willing to give it a shot."

I rubbed my eyes fiercely and look up at him with large, pie shaped, hopeful eyes. "You...you can stop this?" I shake my head, clearing my mind of the poison he was implanting in it. "You lie...you lie!"

He shakes his head. "No. I-I would never lie to you. But it's your call."

My head was spinning but no matter how I put it, the conclusion was always the same. "It hurts...and I want it to end. Make it the pain stop! Please..." I was pleading.

He pulls away from me and our eyes meet. I knew what he was planning now. It became crystal clear. But I didn't deny and it didnt seem so bad. I trusted hidan.

He pulls on my shirt and gives me a passionate, gentle kiss. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" He was hesitant.

I never thought hidan would ask about this now that he was finally getting it. I nod. "Take away the pain."

~A/N: I know this was a sad chapter but Nioki is really hurting and Deidara is once again the cause. Things are really heating up between Hidan and Nioki. If you are a Dei and Nioki supporter I'm sorry please don't hate me haha. And I really love this song and it inspired this chapter. I had to add a little drama and this is just another lead up to what I have planned for the next chapters to come. Anyway, so the ditching the birthday promise, what does everyone think? Dont hate completely on Deidara yet. He has some explaining to do but please comment, vote and follow! I love you guys and shout out to @Gottalovegaara for encouraging me to write. Tbh, I had forgotten about this story and all my fans who were waiting for the next chapter. To big sorry but thanks for putting me back on track! I love the encouragement it really helps me to strive to write a new chapter!~ One more thing, any thoughts on Tukiko?