6 months later

"You will never escape me, you pathetic dog!" He yells as I stuggle against my restraints. "You really think your precious mate is going to find you? Ive got you locked up somewhere nice and secret." He spits at me.

Suddenly feeling the sharp, burning pain in my stomach from one of his large blades.

"Ahhhhh!" I scream from the over whelming intensity.

"You and I will always be together. I told you, you will be here until I believe you have suffered as much as I have. We aren't even close." He sneers.

Another blade is stabbed into my side with a slight twist afterwards, it has me lost for breath as I let out a silent scream.

I can feel the blood trickling down my stomach and legs. All I can do us sob. How am I back here? Why can't I get away?

"Mila?" The bàśťàŕď asks to get my attention.

"Mila. Wake up baby!" He says again but this time his voice sounds different.

"Mila. Come on baby wake up. You're  bleeding!" Dereks voice floods my surroundings.

I shoot up covered in a cold sweat and panting to catch my breathe.

It was just a dream Mila. He can't get to you here.

"Baby, are you alright?" Derek asks and it takes me a moment to realise where I am.

Just nodding my head, I try to calm my breathing and heart rate. I have nightmares of my time there occassionally. They are happening less and less but it doesn't make them any less real to relive. But they never have the pain follow me back to reality like they have this time.

"Mila. You're bleeding." Dereks concern breaks my thoughts.

Looking over my body to see what he means, I find blood on my thighs, but there aren't any wounds there. My mind finally catching up with reality, I realised it's come from somewhere else.

"I think I need to see Katy..." I trail off, lost in my my own head.

"I'll link her to meet us at the clinic." Derek says while walking around to my side of the bed.

His eyes flick to the blood and I can feel his anxiety, along with my own. He swallows visibly before picking me up bridal style, as gently as he can. The cramping sensation is still there and I just know this isn't something good.

He walks us to the clinic where Katy is waiting for us. She instructs Derek to put me on the bed and to sit at the head of the bed.

"Mila, I'm going to examine you. Derek, this may feel a bit uncomfortable, so perhaps talk to her." Katy instructs. We both just nod in agreement.

As I feel the discomfort Katy warned me about, Derek holds one of my hands in his and the fingers of his other combs my hair.

"Did you want to talk about it?" He asks cautiously. Knowing most times he gets worked up after hearing the memories I relive in my sleep.

"It was a bit different, this one wasn't a memory. More like a made up scenario, it was still things I experienced but it didn't play out like any day I had. It was wierd." I gently tell him, trying to focus on his hands over the discomfort.

"I need to do a few more tests Alpha and I can confirm my theory." Katy says but looking grim.

After she took some blood samples, she gave me a change of clothes while she did her tests.

Once I was in clean clothes, she grabbed some gel and asked me to bring my top up. She places the ultrasound device to my stomach, seemingly searching. After a while she seemed to nod to herself before handing me tissues to wipe the cool gel off.

"Luna, the reason for your bleeding is because you have had a miscarriage. You were only very early in pregnancy but your bloodwork shows low HCG levels. Sadly there is no heartbeat though and the amouth of blood also confirms it. I'm very sorry, Mila." She says, looking like she hates herself for having to tell us.

All I can do is nod while my eyes well up and my lip trembles. She leaves the room after explaining I should stay over night.

As soon as the door is shut, I burst into sobs and a sea of tears flow down my face. I feel Derek climb into bed with me before lifting me onto his lap. I fist his shirt and turn into his chest, as I continue to mourn the life we just lost. I didn't even know I was pregnant yet and they were taken from me.

I can feel Dereks shaking form as his tears fall to my arm. His heart break and my own too much to handle. We just sob there in each others arms, not a word being said. Though I doubt we can form words, even if we tried.

We mourn the life we didn't know existed. That could have grown up. That could have found a mate of their own. That could have become a leader. But most of all we mourn all the memories we wont be making with them.

After who knows how long of us sobbing together, Derek lays us down. We are still wrapped up in each others embrace but it gives less comfort than we would like, given we both sense the sadness inside.

Eventually the tears stop and the exhaustion is all that remains. Finally darkness takes over and I have a dreamless sleep.

♡♡♡♡♡

Waking up the next day to Derek lightly rubbing my back, I crack my eyes open to see his sad eyes looking at me. I imagine my face mirrors his, sad with red and puffy eyes.

"Are you alright baby?" He croaks out quietly, still rubbing my back.

"No, but I knew our chance of having kids was going to be harder. I just didn't think my first pregnancy would be like this." I say with a tear sliding down my cheek, lip trembling slightly.

"We'll be ok, Mila. Even if we can never have a pup, we'll be ok. I promise. All I need is you by my side." He says before pulling my body even closer to his, holding me tight.

For a couple of hours, we just lay in each others arms cuddling and offering comfort. Eventually we hear a knock at the door and we see Katy and her father come in.

"Luna, Katy has filled me in. How are you feeling now?" He asks with caring eyes.

"I'm still a bit sore. But the bleeding has stopped, I think." I say lowly.

He nods, "That's to be expected. I'm sorry to say, but we knew this was going to be a possibility given your history. Your body may heal the damage over time but there is no way to know when. For now just rest until you feel better. If you get pregnant again, come straight here and we will closely monitor you both." He says before releasing me.

Derek carried me home, using the excuse that I should rest. I think he needed to have me close but I wasn't complaining since I needed him too.

Walking into the pack house, we expect it to be empty since Derek had linked everyone to stay clear. To our surprise, a few familiar faces were there.

Derek put me gently down and we turned to see our closest friends with curious faces. I expected Trav to look less curious than he was but perhaps Katy kept it confidential.

Greg was the first one to break the silence surprisingly.

"What happened Mila? Are you ok? All we know is you were rushed to the medical wing." He says looking so worried.

'Do you want to tell them Mila?' Derek links me.

'I think we should... What if it happens more and I'm with one of them?' I reply, knowing I may never stay pregnant.

So, with that we explain what happened last night and how it may continue to happen. By the time we caught people up, I'm sobbing into Dereks chest again and he has a few stray tears escaping. I imagine he's holding it in with pack members around us.

Greg walks over to us and wraps his arms around me, hugging me tight.

"I'm so sorry guys." He mutters with his arms still around me. Eventually Chris walks over to us and wraps an arm around Dereks shoulders.

When they pull back slightly, Patrick walks over cautiously with Sam. The brothers wrap their arms around us both and mutter their sorry to us too. By the end, everyone has hugged us or said they'll be here if we need them.

We bid everyone goodbye before going back to our room. Once there I go straight to the bathroom and strip my clothes off. Derek walks in behind me, just as I look in the mirror to see my flat stomach.

From behind me, he puts his hands over mine that are sitting on my belly. We both just stare at my bare stomach. There is nothing sexual about how we are, we are both just still mourning what we didn't know we lost.

Eventually Derek starts to undress as well, so I turn the shower on for us. We have a shower together before we dress and decide to spend the day in bed watching movies. The time together healing more than we thought.

☆☆☆☆☆

The next day I'm feeling slightly better but the entire scenario certainly still weighs on my mind.

I tell myself I'm not going to let this stop us from moving forward. I have hope that my body will heal eventually. I refuse to let that bàśťàŕď take away my happiness.

With that I tell Derek I'm going to the shops. He comes with me of course, refusing to let me go anywhere alone yet. When we're there I find what I'm looking for, my memorial to the pup we lost.

With all of the supplies sorted and paid for, we go back home and start making our small spot in the garden behind the pack house. I want to bring some beauty to a grim event, so I'm hoping this will bring us alk some peace.

Once we're done, we sit on the wooden bench that Derek moved to our little area. We still have more to do but right now, I'm happy with what we've done. I end up just wrapped in his arms for the rest of the afternoon.

This is going to be a hard for us but I feel like we're going to be ok.

All I can do is hope and stay strong.