-...Mysterious and Spooky, They're all together ooky; the Addams Family!-

-4-

Jade had never taken on such a huge target, but when you're desperate, you're desperate. Even without her sister, she had to support herself, and that would not be easy. Hell, if she were an employer, she wouldn't trust herself.

She gazed the manor up and down, judgementally. She didn't see any cameras, but that didn't mean there weren't any.

"Hi!"
She whipped around but saw no one. There was no way that was her imagination. Maybe she should bail...
"Up here!"

Her eyes darted up to the tree next to her. Oh shit, a kid. He looked a few years younger than her sister. Okay, she'd been spotted, but she could work with this. Children made good hostages, her father had taught her that too many times.

"Hey. Come down here." She said in her most child-friendly-adjacent voice she could manage.

"No thanks. I like being up high." He explained, legs swinging from the tree limb he was perched atop. "Are you Stephanie? Tim said his friend Stephanie should arrive before him and that I should show her in."

"Well, that's nice of him." She said, thinking quick. "I'm Stephanie, and you are...?"

"Dick. Bruce says I shouldn't tell strangers unless they're our type of strangers."

Jade internally scowled. Classism at its finest, she assumed. To the child, she applied a big fake smile. "Well, can you show me in?"

"Okay, come on!" He dropped from the tree like a cat, rolling out to disperse the impact. The kid was quite good, she had to admit, although a button-up polo shirt and dress shorts were not your typical gymnasts or parkour wear.

Cautiously, Jade slipped out her blade. The prospect of possibly hurting a kid around Arty's age hurt her, but she was desperate.

"Hold it right there." Grabbing the kids shoulder, she pulled him in, blade to his throat.

The kid paused, looking down at the early twilight reflecting off the silver. "Wow, nice knife. You should show Tim, he likes it when his friends draw knives on him."
Effortlessly, he ducked under her arm and pranced towards the house.
"Come on ms. Stephanie! Let's go inside. You can show Damian your knife!"

At a loss, Jade followed him. At this point, she would just have to take what she was handed. Maybe once she was in the house she could pilfer some Prada and jump out the window. There was but one issue.
"Uh, kid, Tom-- Tim's never introduced me to anyone in the family, has he?"

"I don't think so." The boy shrugged. Pushing the door open. "TIM'S FRIEND IS HERE!"

"Dick, save the shouting for when they leave." The unmistakable voice of Bruce Wayne called, though he didn't sound much like he did on TV.

"Right, sorry Bruce."

"That's alright. Show her in then."
Jade prepared herself, she was about to lie straight to Bruce Wayne's face and then rob him blind, if this ended badly she would be a broke, fourteen-year-old lesbian of colour up against the biggest lawyers in the country.
"Hello, Stephanie." He called, giving her a polite nod.

Now that she had entered, she could see that the man was pacing, the microphone of his cell pressed to his lapel. He was obviously on hold. Hopefully, that meant he wasn't getting a good look at her face.

There was a crash overhead and she reached for her knife instinctively, looking up to see a kid, a little older than Artemis, come tumbling down the stairs; a boy in his late teens glaring down at him. "Next time I'll use excessing force." He strode back out of view.

"Boo." The kid sat up, rubbing the back of his head. "Are you Tim's friend?"

"Yeah." She lied.

The kid glared at her up and down. "I didn't expect you to be Asian."

"Jason, we aren't honest with strangers." Bruce Wayne called, phone now to his ear.

The kid, Jason, sighed. "Sorry. Tim said you're blonde."

"He lied." She said.

Jason rolled his eyes. "Oh, duh."

The littlest kid, who had started doing cartwheels around the room, paused. "Aww, you didn't get to show Damian your cool knife!"

"Knife?" Jason asked, perking up.

"You wanna go show him now?"

"No." Jade said.

"Aww."

"Dick, I'm sure she'd rather wait up in Tim's room."

"Uh, yes! Please!" Jade hurried. She'd steal some nice rich-kid loot, and escape while no one was watching.

"Alright, Dick, get Alfred will you?"

Oh no, someone else. Alfred, probably a servant. Was that still a thing? That was a cartoony rich person thing.

Soon the boy re-entered, bent over backwards as if possessed. "Here you go!"

The man that entered behind him was certainly the most regal and best dressed in the room, but Jade's first thought was not of classism, but that this man would catch on to her immediately. The old man's eyes pierced her soul and made her look away.

"This way, miss." She trailed after him, refusing to look at any of them. This family was starting to freak her out a little. She knew rich people tended to be eccentric, but this was weird.

The butler paused, almost causing her to trip into him. "Master Timothy's room."

"Do you have to call them master?" She ordered before her mind could catch up with her mouth.

The man studied her nondescriptly. "Each of the young masters has made the same complaint." He remarked. "They  have surrendered thus far."

What did that mean?? She didn't question any further, entering the room silently and sitting on the bed. This dynamic was not what she was comfortable with at all.
The man watched her for several seconds before vanishing like a ghost.

She shut the door and looked around the room. There must be something of value she could pawn off or sell.
She searched the drawers and desk and even under the bed, the most valuable thing she found was a gaming pc that was far too big to take, subtly or not.
What was this kid? The least favourite child?

"I could get you some silverware if you'd like, miss, easier to pocket."

"How--"

"I've been working in this manor well over thirty years, and I've reared five boys, I can spot a thief better than the others."

Jade, on her last leg, took this as an opportunity to reveal her blade. She should have brought one of dad's guns. "Alright, old man, You're going to back up and keep quiet." The man just stared down at her, unimpressed. Jade, feeling rather snuffed out, took another jab at it.  "...Now. Please."

"Now that knife will not do for threatening anyone. Come downstairs and ask Master Bruce if you can have one of the blades in the display case. Nothing dated before 1978."

Flustered, she thrust the knife in his general direction. "I said no funny stuff!"

"No you didn't, but I understand the sentiment, and I assure you, I am quite serious." and with that he turned and exited, beckoning for her to follow. Uncertainly, she did, still loosely clutching her switchblade.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Wayne looked up and smiled. "Thank you, Alfred. Sorry about that, I just got off the phone with Tim and he and Stephanie met at the bus stop."
SHIT SHIT SHIT okay. She scanned for exits.
"Is there anything we can get you, I don't think I caught your name? Dinner, money, Company?"

Certain he was mocking her, she held her blade up, though it felt rather pitiful right now.

"I believe the young lady is the market for a new knife."

"A knife? Well, we have plenty of nice daggers you could pick from. Take two if you'd like. But don't kill with them, they aren't built for that." Wayne explained, gesturing to a huge showcase.

Jade cautiously stepped forwards. Either this was a trap or the airheaded playboy thing wasn't an act and he really was that stupid. Still, she could use those to get out of here...

Eyes shifting between the two, she crept towards the case. In a flash, she leapt forwards and grabbed a long knife. "Hold it!"

Wayne didn't even flinch, still smiling down at her. "Good choice. I assume you want some money or food to take with you? Do you happen to not have parents or a stable household?"

"WHAT'd You Say?" She growled.

"You're right, I've already got too many children. Alfred, make sure the young miss gets the supplies she needs before taking off. Oh, and double supplies for every sibling."

"Of course sir."