-I Have some BALLS writing a Halloween-themed part in April lol-

Ages:

Damian - 17

Tim - 14

Jason - 10

Dick - 6

"BOO!"

Pamela started. "Goddamn it, Harley!"

"Did I scare you?" The clownette tugged off the rubber zombie mask.

"No. You only scared me with your immaturity" She scoffed.

"Aww C'mon! Where's your Halloween spirit!"

"Must have left it at home." She grumbled. "Plus, Halloween isn't for a week."

"C'mon Pammy! Have a little fun!" The blonde urged. 

"Can you two hurry? I don't want to handle the bat tonight." Selina said, half out the window.

Harley sighed, stuffing the Halloween mask in her duffle of unmarked bills, and trudging across the bank in Ivy's wake. "This is BORING. Can't we do a fun job once inna while? What's the fun in robbin' a bank if no one knows you were there?"

"The fun is being able to pay rent." The cat replied, yanking the couple though the window and snapping it closed. "Come on, girls,  let's make tracks."

"The only tracks you're making are straight to the penitentiary!"

Selina groaned. "Please get new material, I've already heard that one from Batman, Batgirl AND the last two Robins."

"Dammit! Nothing's original!" Robin complained.

"Not by the time you get to it." Ivy muttered.

Harley giggled. "Yeah! All your jokes are hand-me-downs."

The kid crossed his arms and huffed. "Well you're not on brand tonight, are you? Getting away without any plant or clown gimmick? "

"We're in-between jobs, okay?" Ivy crossed her arms.

Robin seemingly rolled his eyes behind his mask.

"So is the bat gonna show up, or are we too small-pennies for him now?" Cat asked the kid.

"He's... on his way." The kid explained quickly. "Traffic, y'know?"

"We know." Selina leaned against the bank's wall. She knew that the kid has no clue where his boss/father was. "Pam, be a doll and go get the car for us."

"Hey! Why can't I?"

"Because the cops aren't onto us yet, and you'd definitely get pulled over." Harley huffed, but didn't deny it. "So, Robin, how's school?"

"UGH! Listen- Bats won't let me go trick-or-treating on my own! I'm ten! I fight crime! I should be allowed to go trick-or-treating on my own!"

"Not fair at all."

"Tell me about it!" He exclaimed. "I should be allowed to have fun, because soon I'll be too old to trick-or-treat!"

"That's impossible." Harley crossed her arms

Selina checked her watch. "That's a travesty, Kitty."

"EXACTLY!" He exclaimed. "It's not fair!"

An old, inconspicuous minivan pulled up.

"Look, kid, why don't you swing by Wayne Manor tomorrow and complain about it?"

Robin frowned. "Wayne Manor?" He noticed the sirens heading for the car. "HEY! I need to arrest you!"

Selina smirked, climbing into the passenger seat. "I'd leave the arresting to the adults."

"Later, Twerp!" Harley pulled her newer mallet (conveniently smaller, for portability) out of her duffle and gave the kid a good bop on the back of the head, leaping into the back seat as the car peeled off.

Robin collapsed forwards on the concrete, clutching his head. He felt the world spin as he barely kept himself from puking.

"Robin! Are you okay?" He felt Red Robin pull him upright. 

"Fine, Tim."

"Then I can do this." He smacked the kid lightly. "Jason! You let them get away!" 

"What! I thought you guys were gonna get here! Where's B?"

"He's running late, had to tuck himself in before leaving."

"Well you should have told me you'd be late! especially if I'm not supposed to fight the big guns on my own!" Jason pouted. "C'mon! Let's get the sirens, that shitty minivan can't outrace us!"

"No, that's Bat's thing!" Tim scolded. "Also, Language!"

The preteen scowled. "So I'm not allowed to fight them and now we can't even chase them? we might as well-"

"Quit whining!" The teen groaned. "Come on, Jay, let's try to cop a mugging or something."

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Harley was just taking Bud and Lou on an evening walk before breaking into Wayne Manor. Ivy and Selina were already in position, but she couldn't have the dogs barking during a home invasion and robbery. They were doing it cat-style again. 

Selina invited Bruce Wayne and his boys out for dinner, so they could just walk in, take everything, and walk out. Maybe Selina would even make it in time to actually eat with them.

SO BORING!!

Harley perched on the playground, watching the duo slip around the park. She drummed her hands on the slide. "BABIES!" The dogs quit mauling the branch and galevanted over, jumping around the jungle gym like leaping sharks.

"Puppy!" A very small child, appeared out of nowhere and bounced over to the playground, apparently not aware that the hyenas were growling. He stuck out his hand, but pulled it back a little. "Can I pet?"

"...You can try to pet Lou." She replied. "LOU!"

The creature stalked forward a little, eyeing the kid down viciously.

"Hi Puppy!" He reached out and scratched the dog's neck. After a couple scratches, Lou snapped at him, almost nipping the boy's finger as he drew back. "Ow!" He yelled prematurely. 

"Lou! Don't bite, that's mommy's job!" Harley told her pet, this wasn't the first time a kid tried to pet the hyenas, but it was the first time a kid had succeeded with no injury.

"My doggie nips too." The boy told her. He let Lou sniff his hand and made an attempt to scratch the dog's ear.  Lou wasn't having it, but at least wasn't mauling the kid. "I'm a class play. I'm a ghost. It's fall play." He explained, English obviously new to him.

"You're ina play?" Harley had not expected him to start sharing stuff with her.

"Yeah. I'm ghost." He replied. Bud was apparently getting jealous of the attention, and started nosing the kid hungrily. The boy tried to split his attention between the two, petting them both.

Harley had never seen anyone, let alone a kid, deal with Bud and Lou so easily. The hyenas had mauled cops half to death, and this five-or-six year old kid was just playing with them? that's new. "How d'ya do that?!"

"Good doggies!" The boy confirmed, playing with them.

Harley gaped in silence for about four straight minutes. 

HOW DID HE DO THAT?

THIS KID WAS PERFECT!

"PAM!" She squealed, running behind the Wayne Manor shed, where Ivy was crouched. "Look!"

"Good god, Harley." Her partner growled. "Aren't the dogs enough?"

"What? Ain't the Daisies enough?"

"You are NOT bringing a child home!"

"We can't even keep him for a little bit?"

Ivy groaned, why did her girlfriend always do the puppy eyes? "Ask Cat!" She trusted that Selina would take her side.

"CAT! KITTY!" Harley exclaimed, running to her.

"Busy." Selina replied.

"I found him can we take him home?"

"What- that's a child, we can't take that." Selina glanced over her shoulder. "Trust me, it's not worth it."

"Aw WHAT!? You bring home strays all the time!" She pouted and stomped, child wriggling from where he was tucked under her arm. He was too scared to speak, but Harley ws a concerningly good babysitter, so he didn't seem to realize he was surrounded by badguys.

"They're cats. They're a lot easier to keep in an apartment than children!"

"Yeah but your Cats are mean to Buddy! Kids LOVE doggies!"

"Harley, dear, I'm a little busy." She reluctantly turned back. "HARLEY! That's Wayne's kid!"

"Goddammit." Ivy sighed. "Well? a hostage maybe?"

"Don't bother. Return the child, we'll rob a different place." Cat sighed.

"Fine." Harley pouted. "Watch the dogs." She marched grumpily to the front door. She could faintly hear yelling inside. She banged on the door. "BOY DELIVERY!"

It opened after about half a minute. There was an elderly man at the door, and right behind him, a very stressed looking Bruce Wayne. 

"DICK! OH MY GOD!" The man lunched forwards, pulling the kid away. "WHERE DID YOU GO! You were supposed to stay with Tim and Ace at the park!"

The child didn't understand why everyone was so upset, but it was making him upset. "Bruce!" Dick clutched him back. 

Harley was still being glared down by the elderly man, and Bruce looked up at her. "How did you-" He recognized her, not too crazy since she was in costume. everyone in Gotham knew her. She was a celebraty! "HOW DID YOU FIND HIM!" Brucie boy ordered, clutching the boy closely. "And why are you returning him?"

"Calm Down! I found him in the park! Toodles!" She threw up a peace sign and strutted out the main gate, meeting Bud and Lou. They jogged down the block to meet the other gals.

Bruce stayed in the doorway, staring. "Dick, did she hurt you?"

Dick shook his head. "She doggies are- uh- play! Doggies are nice!"

"Oh my god, you played with her dogs?" Bruce clutched his youngest. "Dick, NEVER run off like that again!"

Dick realized he was in trouble, and the tears started.  He clutched Bruce as hard as he could.

"Didja find him?" Jason ran in. "DICK! where'd you go?"

"Jason was worried." Tim jogged in, relieved.

"Was NOT! Tim was crying because he thought he lost you!"

"I'm Under a lot of stress!" Tim justified. He went over to check on his little brother. "Hey Dickie? Where'd you go? Are you hurt?"

"I think he's just a little shaken up." Bruce replied. "He had his own little run in with Harleen Quinzel."

"WHAT?"

"...Oh, I get it now." Jason remarked. "That's what she meant! Come on! Let's go after them!" 

"I think Dick's had a busy evening, I'm going to call Selina and reschedule." Bruce remarked. "Come on, Dick." He bounced the boy reassuringly. "Lets calm down, you need your rest for school tomorrow."

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"Bruce, PLEASE? I'm FIFTEEN!" Tim insisted. 

"No, Tim. It's rated R."

"It's not even scary! I've seen scarier things on patrol. Rated R means gore (Seeen it!), Swearing (Heard it), Drugs and nudity (Been there, done that). It's nothing!"

"Tim, you're not watching The Cabin in the Woods."

"BRUUCE!" The teen insisted. "Come on! Jason is nine and going on patrol! I'm fifteen and I can't watch a scary movie!?"

"Jason is ten." Bruce replied. "You're not watching that movie."

"Please? Come on! I can get not letting me watch Saw or something, but this is just Cabin in the !Woods!"

"Tim, pleading and begging won't get you anywhere."

The teen scowled, moping off. He just wanted to watch a scary movie on Halloween, he was fifteen! He didn't want to take Jason trick-or-treating! Tim sat on the couch and went on Prime Video, reading the plot summery again. He tried to stream it, but got an error. 

Bruce and he had been in a parental locks battle for weeks. Bruce would reset it, Tim would hack it, Bruce would strengthen it, Tim would hack it, Bruce would strengthen it. He had never even made it through the previews because Bruce was so fast. I mean, It was a pro-D, so maybe he could try again...

Maybe they could go to Stephanie's and stream it illegally. He'd tried renting it on youtube, but Bruce's monitoring system was too quick for him.

That's the frustrating thing about having being a sibling of four with an overprotective dad, they couldn't do ANYTHING!

The worst part was, Jason was always getting away with everything because Bruce had given up on making him well-behaved, and Dick got away with everything because he didn't need to: He was given everything he wanted, and rarely got in trouble for making mistakes. 
Tim and Damian were always supposed to be the ones who were well behaved and took care of their little siblings. But even then, Damian got away with everything because he was old enough to be ignored.

It Was Not Fair!

"You think that's not fair?" Damian said, entering the room. "Father says that I have to stay and watch you idiots and pass out candy."

Tim huffed. "At least you only have to pass out candy, I have to take them trick-or-treating AND don't get to see my movie!"

"Your damn movie can wait, I want to see my friends!"

Tim got up, not satisfied to be on the same couch as Damian. He took his phone and headed upstairs to vent to someone, more specifically, his dad's girlfriend.

 She picked up on the third ring. "Selina?"

"Yes mm-Timothy?" She replied, pausing to check the caller ID. "What's going on?"

"Bruce won't let me watch a movie!" He complained. "I'm old enough to watch it! and I want to watch it on Halloween when the kids are trick-or-treating, so they won't be scared!" He complained. "But Bruce says I have to take them trick -or-treating, it's not fair!"

"It seems you're all running into issues with Halloween, Damian called be earlier, upset about having to babysit and hand out candy."

"Yeah, well at least he gets to stay home all night! I have to watch Jason and Dick while Trick-or-treating, and Jason always goes for like four hours!" Tim whined. "Plus, he's really old enough to be going on his own."

"So he told me..." Selina murmured.

"Plus, Dick really is too little to be out that late. He can handle an hour or two, but then he'll need to be carried while Jason keeps going." Tim explained, flopping on his bed. "Plus, Dickie's afraid of his own shadow, all those masks are gonna freak him out."

"He was pretty brave last night..." 

"What?"

"Bruce told me about his little run-in over the phone." She said quickly. "Being kidnapped by Harley Quinn sounds pretty scary."

Tim shrugged. "She returned him. He was a lot more scared that he would get in trouble for talking to strangers."

There was a sigh or relief from the other side. "Richard goes to Gotham West-Side elementary, right?"

"Yeah." Tim confirmed. "Why?"

"Bruce says he has a class play, and I was thinking I could meet him afterwards and take him for ice cream."

"Trust me, he doesn't need more sugar with Halloween this week."

"As a treat?" Selina suggested. "Incidentally, I think I know how to solve you and your brother's problems, Though I'm not sure it's a solution Bruce would love."

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"Are you sure this is the one?"

"UH HUH!"

"We're going to be seen!"

"Don't be sucha downer!" Harley told her, settling on the concrete ledge below the window, peeking inside.

"All this for a brat you kidnapped? We should've just used him as a hostage." Pam grumbled.

"Hey! He was Cat's soon-tah-be stepson! what was I supposed tuh do?"

Ivy shrugged, squinting through the locked window at the assembled Parents and nervous looking first graders. "When is this going to start?"

"SHH! It's starting!"

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"You were great in your play, Richard." Selina said, passing the tiny ghost (Who'd now shed his sheet) his kiddie cone. It had taken some time to convince Bruce to let her take the boys out for ice cream. "You know my friends; Pamela, Harleen."

"You have doggies." He said, pointing at Harley.

"Nah, not today. Right now my babies are at the salon because I couldn't get the nail polish on em!"

"This is a terrible idea." Damian said. "My little brothers are NOT going with you!"

"Calm down, Nightwing."

Damian coughed and spluttered. "WHAT?"

"She's just yankin' yer chain! Right baybe?" Harley planted a huge lipstick-y kiss on her cheek.

"MMg." Ivy responded, showered in PDA. "If they know who we are, we have to know who they are."

"But we could make this work." Selina explained. "I have Bruce over, Damian can go out with his friends, Tim can stay home and watch his movie on my laptop..."

"What about us?" Jason challenged, all this time everyone was telling him that the Gotham City Sirens were bad guys and now they wanted to help? and Bruce was dating Catwoman? That was seriously messed up!

"You go trick-or-treating, all alone, and I know two people who can take your brother around." Selina said. "Plus, you know that Harley gives the best piggy-back rides."

"AWW CAT!" Selina leaned back so that Harley's violent kiss caught her girlfriend instead. 

"How about Harley does it? She loves Halloween." 

"If we do it, we do it together!" The blonde insisted. "Plus, who's gonna be the Jamila for my Zazzalil?"

Ivy sighed. "Me?"

"YES!"