-Conner Kent?? In a Maid outfit?? YES.-

-Follow me @MorallyGrayson on devient art for more cool DC fanart and sketches(I do commissions/requests)-

The eight had formed a circle on the carpet of the lobby, watching intently as Tim dealt out cards.

"So the way this works is, one person reads a black card, which has a sentence or a question on it, and everyone else puts down a white card that can finish or answer the black card."

"Why?"

"Because it's... fun?" Artemis told him.

"Whoever has the funniest answer wins." Jon told his brother. Conner looked concerned, he wasn't known for his humor. "Don't worry, I'll coach you through the first few rounds."

"Okay, I'll go first." Tim announced, picking a black card, and reading it aloud."Maybe She's born with it, maybe it's___."

Dick gasped, and smacked down a card, followed by Artemis. Damian slid a card into place, as did his boyfriend, and Jason.

Jon leaned over Conner's shoulder to look at his cards. "Put down that one."

Questioningly, Conner put the card down. Jon quickly flipped it over so the other's couldn't read.

Tim began reading the replies: "Maybe She's born with it, maybe it's invading Poland, yeast, an M16 rifle..." He choked a little. "Maybe She's born with it, maybe it's Lactation." two thirds of the group burst into laughter. "Maybe She's born with it, maybe it's my genitals, mutually assured destruction... Maybe it's getting fingered."

"GOOD STARTING ROUND!" Jason exclaimed. "We're off to a good start!"

"I know right?" Roy grinned. "I thought I had a good one, but now I feel stupid!"

"Winner is?" Jon asked eagerly.

Tim grinned. "Lactation."

"YES!" Dick hissed, taking the black card. 

Damian took a card. "A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50% less sex after being exposed to___"

Tim smacked down a card, looking a little smug. Jon quickly followed. Artemis hesitantly put her card down. "I'm shooting myself in the foot here...."

Jon looked at his little brother's cards and snorted, tapping one of the cards, which Conner put down.

The top options ended up being: 'Sexual tension', 'only dating Asian women', and 'My vagina', which obviously won. Jon took his card.

"Arty, was yours..."

"Only dating Asian women." She rolled back on the carpet, covering her face. "God, my mom would beat my ass if she knew I was playing this..."

Roy went next, with "As the mom of five rambunctious boys, I'm no stranger to__". The winner was Jon again with 'Sweet, sweet, vengeance'.

"Damn, Jon is KILLING this." Roy observed. 

Jon smiled. "I love this game!" He cleared his throat and read his card. "Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with ___ instead!"

Artemis, Roy, Tim, and Jason leapt to throw down their cards first, all confident in their answers. Conner looked completely lost. Jon helped him in every round before this. He couldn't be funny! He needed help! 

He reluctantly set down a card, being the last person. 

Jon had x-ray vision, he could see who put down which cards. The replies were: 'wet dreams'(Dick), 'funky fresh rhymes'(Jason),  'a three-way with my wife and Shaquille O'Neal'(Tim), 'a violation of our most basic human rights'(Damian), 'bisexuality'(Artemis), 'an M. Night Shyamalan plot twist'(Roy), and Conner's entry...

It wasn't the funniest one, but it was Conner's first time ever trying to be funny. 

"The winner is...." Jon held up the card. "Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with switching to Geico instead!"

The group burst into laughter, and Jon placed the black card next to his brother. "I won?"

"Yep. Congratulations." Jon told him encouragingly.

"EY ROY!" Jason shouted how do you get 15% off on car insurance?"

"GEICO!" They yelled in unison, falling back on the carpet, howling with laughter.

Artemis frowned. "The FUCK?"

The gang didn't realize how loud they were being, until the supers heard approaching footsteps on the velvet carpeting. They all turned to see the father bat himself enter.

"Aren't you supposed to be on stage?" Jason asked.

"They Oliver's doing his guest speech right now." Bruce replied. "What are you doing out here?"

"We were banished by Ollie and Clark." Dick told him.

"Those three were, we were sent out to watch them." Tim replied. "Now we're just playing Cards Against Humanity!"

Bruce groaned, looking over the kids."...just, keep it down. You're not as quiet as you think."

"OOH, this is PERFECT." The blonde girl laughed hysterically. "This is a pick-two." She cleared her throat, blushing from laughter, and embarrassment from being walked in on. "Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's___ and___!"

The group cackled, scrambling to find their best cards. It was a good round: 'A sassy black woman', 'self loathing', 'a middle-aged man on rollerskates', 'men discussing their feelings in an emotionally healthy way', and 'flightless birds'. But the winners, the crowning jewels, sent Artemis laughing into tears.

"What?"

"Tell!"

"Arty?" Roy half shook her, half smacked her. "ARTEMIS!" 

She did her best to compose herself, tear streams down her face. "Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's Being rich and the only homosexual in ten kilometers!"

Roy almost pissed himself, Dick and Jason were laughing so hard they'd turned completely red.

"Me next! Me next!" Dick took his turn. He took several breaths to calm himself, setting the others back into giggles. "Okay, okay! So, ...Introducing X-treme baseball! It's like baseball, but with____!"

Some of his favorite answers included: 'puberty',  'establishing dominance', 'going an entire day without masturbating', and the winner: 'waking up half-naked in a Dennys parking lot'. 

Jon was really killing this game.

Conner finally got a break from trying to be funny, and read the card he'd picked. then he realized he'd have to judge who was being the funniest, and he was no judge of that!

He picked the two that he really liked in real life, and said those.

"Daddy issues is a slippery slope to the homosexual agenda." The circle exploded with laughter. That was all of them to a tee!

"Okay MY GO!" Jason grabbed the top card and laughed a little, turning a little pink. "What's Batman's guilty pleasure?"

All of them, even Conner and Damian, scrambled to find and slap down their cards. They all knew where this had to go.

"What's Batman's guilty pleasure? Is it... seething in silent resentment?" Most of them giggled like maniacs. "Is it...solving problems with violence? Is it..." Jason coughed with laughter. "...Dead parents..."

"NO." Tim said.

"NO." Dick said.

"NO." Damian said.

"SKIP!" Tim said.

"Is Batman's guilty pleasure... some goddamn peace and quiet?" Jason was hyperveltalating from laughter. "... Heartwarming orphans?"

"THAT'S IT!" Roy shouted.

"THAT'S THE ONE!" Tim agreed.

"The winner is Heartwarming orphans!!!" Jason announced. 

"Fuck yes!" Damian whispered, snatching the card.

The laughter died down eventually, and the game resumed, but Jon could see there was an issue. Conner was getting gradually quieter, retreating inwards, and not participating much. I mean, Conner didn't participate earlier, but he was almost completely silent. "Conner?"

"Yeah." He slid a card on the pile blankly, probably without reading it.

Jon  "Are you okay?"

"Tired." The teen muttered. "I want to go home."

Jon nodded, Conner got overwhelmed from a lot less social interaction then this. "Did you get a lift here?"

Conner nodded. "My bike's still at the mountain."

"Do you want me to find you a ride home?"

The boy shrugged. "Well the mountain is in a different state..."

"Do you want to go home early?" Conner nodded tiredly. "I know someone, She could give you a lift."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she can come get you, and you can go home early." Jon offered. "Do you want that?"

"Okay."

"Okay," The older brother stood and took out his phone. "Be right back. Damian, can you play for me these next few rounds? I need to make a call."

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"Can you get that?" Jon asked, shuffling the white cards in preparation to rank.

Artemis rolled off the carpet and headed to the center's door, which locked after the conference started. "Hey Supes, who's this?"

"Howdy Cous."

"Howdy."

"Conner, this is our cousin, second cousin, whatever, Kara." Jon turned the teen towards her.

Conner just frowned a little. "I have a cousin?"

"Now you do." Jon ruffled his hair. "Grab your coat, Kara's your ride home." 

As soon as Conner got up and left, the blonde woman bent closer to her cousin. "I thought he'd be gayer?"

"Well he shares dad's DNA mostly."

"Yeah, But He's still one of us, so He's at least somewhat homosexual, right?" She whispered.

"I'm sure he'll tell us if he is." Jon replied. She nodded a little

"Hi Kara!" The youngest bat called.

She straightened up and followed the voice, pointed to the Child. "...Jason?"

"Dick."

"SO close!" She hissed. "That's Jason."

"Nope. Tim." Tim replied.

"Okay, well I havent seen you since you were like... younger." She defended. "Maybe I'd know you if you stopped dying your hair."

"Jason's the one who dyes his hair."

The woman threw up her hands, causing the bats to burst out in laughter. "I only know Damian."

"How do you know them?" Artemis asked before Roy could tell her to shut her trap. 

"Speedy." Kara Identified.

"Red Arrow now."

She groaned. "Stop changing your hero names, I can barely keep track of you all!" She brushed her hair back. "Okay, red arrow, and... gah- i don't know if im flaking, or if we haven't met?"

"You have t met. This is Artemis, my new replacement."

"So... Artemis is Speedy now?"

"No. I'm Artemis." Artemis said.

"Okay, I'll catch up with you later." Kara shook out her head, why was the sidekick community so muddled now? It used to be her, little cousin Superboy, his boyfriend Robin, and thats it. 

Conner returned with an faded army green canvas jacket. 

"Aw Kon? You leaving?" Dick asked.

"Yes."

"Boo." He said. "Say hi to M'gann for me."

"Ditto." Artemis added.

Jon pat his little brother's shoulder. "Text when you get home."

"Okay." He let his unknown adult cousin lead him out.

"So... Who's Meghan?"

"My partner." He replied casually, honestly they were just a QPR, since M'gann and he were experimenting with attraction. "So, where's the... how are we getting to the mountain?"

"I'm giving you a lift." The woman said, waving him over.

"How?" Conner asked.

She walked to him instead, and wrapped herself around his torso, under his arms. She kicked off the concrete, pulling the teen up with her. Conner kicked his legs in surprise and protest. "Hold still, Kon, you're swaying us."

"What are you doing?!?"

"Don't you want a lift home?"

"I don't like being carried." He growled dangerously. The woman wasnt scared.

"Do you want me to put you down?"

Conner weighed the options, he stopped kicking and whining. "Whatever." 

"Okay then." She fixed her hug grip under his arms, the same way she'd hold Streaky. "Next stop, Mount Justice. Let's get to know each other."

Conner was all talked-out, social interactions were overwhelming. Still, he let his big cousin carry him home.

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