So...
I've been thinking (never a good sign) about these questions

Why am I so dependent on people?
Why can't I ever be good enough?
Why do I try to please people when I know it will never work?
And
Why am I always "An outsider"?

And when trying to answer those questions, and probably something else that I forgot, I just made myself feel worse, hah.

I wish I didn't feel like crap right now and I wish I didn't sound like a "pity seeker"
Hah... I guess that's just how it is though.