CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE.
( THE TALK... )

     When Ella woke up the next day all she could feel was embarrassment. All the way to her core. When she had woken up to throw up, the words of the night hadn't even hit her. But now as she blinked in the sunlight and heard the telltale scratching of Molly at the door to the dorm, Ella knew what had happened. She wanted the ground to swallow her but that was impossible.

     She rolled over and was surprised to find the bed empty next to her. A soft groan escaping her lips as her arm flopped over the edge. It was then that she saw Remus, sat up with a book in hand. His other hand holding a quill that he was using to take notes. Her cheeks only darkened more and she grabbed one of James' pillows, shoving it over her face.

     "Ella's trying to suffocate herself," Remus called to James who was in the bathroom. Peter was quietly getting ready and their other roommate was gone. Sirius had yet to return which just left the three Marauders. James walked out of the bathroom with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, a smirk on his face before he began to brush again.

     "I'm not," Ella said as she pulled it off. She then rolled onto her back and lay down with her head buried in the pillow. A soft groan escaping her lips as she decided what to do with herself. She could get up and face the embarassment or stay in James' bed all day and be fine in the blissful warmth, "I'm tired," Ella mumbled but it was incoherent past the pillow. Remus cocked an eyebrow as he looked over at her.

     "You're gonna have to get up soon. Class starts in an hour," Remus said and Ella whacked her head into the pillows before she pulled the covers over her head. She curled into a ball, protecting herself from Remus' gaze. It was hard enough having said what she did and it was worse having to wake up in James' room. With all the other boys, it was awkward.

     "Where's she gone?" James asked as he emerged from the bathroom. His teeth now brushed as he crossed the room to the bed. He then peeled the cover back to see Ella with her face buried in her arms. He chuckled softly and watched her for a moment before he leant forward and pressed a kiss to her wrist, peppering them down before he just tilted his head.

     "Come on," He said softly. Ella groaned and then let her hands drop. Her body flopping back against the best. He chuckled softly and pressed a soft kiss to her hair, "You need to go back to your room and get dressed," He said softly. Ella nodded and then glanced down at her outfit. She didn't really want Remus seeing her this exposed it felt strange.

     "Can ya hold the covers up so nobody sees?" Ella asked as she looked up at him. James chuckled but nodded his head and as she shuffled off the bed, he pulled the covers along. He then used it to shield her from the view of the boys. Ella pulled James' jumper off and grabbed her dress from the floor. The brunette couldn't help but admire her despite how he should be looking away. He always thought she looked so gorgeous. But she pulled the dress over herself and then grabbed his jumper before he could admire any longer.

     He dropped the makeshift curtain and threw his covers back onto his bed as Ella pulled the jumper over her head. She blew some hair from her face before wrapping her arms around herself. She didn't want to move, it was so cold. James watched her for a moment before he stepped towards her. He opened his arms out and she took a step over, cuddling up to him. Nuzzling her face in his chest before peppering soft kisses to his bare chest. He let his hand move to her ass and gently squeezed it in warning.

     "Go back to your room before I do something embarrassing," He whispered in her ear. Ella pouted as she looked up at him but he didn't let it melt his heart like it usually would. They had school to get too so instead, he just pushed some hair behind her ear and pressed a soft short kiss to her lips, "Go on. Layla is probably wondering where you are," He added. Ella groaned and then stepped back. She grabbed her high heels and headed out of the dorm. She crossed Sirius on the way down, sending him a smirk. He looked exhausted but she wasn't entirely surprised by that.

     Ella then entered her own dorm to find Layla and Lily sitting together in the bed. Making out rather viciously considering that they need to be at school in an hour. Ella rolled her eyes and closed the door just a little too loudly.

     "Your best friend is back so the makin' out better stop," Ella commented, clearly joking as she dumped her heels into her trunk. Lily was reluctant to pull away, a sigh escaping her lips as she turned to look at Ella. She looked rough. Her hair was messy, a few marks on her neck from James and she looked exhausted. To everyone else but the boy's in the dorm and Kalia and Ella, it looked like they'd been up all night. They hadn't been, James just liked to kiss her and she had the worst hangover she'd ever experienced. Everything hurt and she wanted to go back to bed.

     "How was your night?" Lily asked as she reluctantly climbed of Layla. Layla whined and reached out but Lily brushed her off. The fringed-girl sighed and then flopped back against the bed. Lily then grabbed her clothes from the floor, switching back into her outfit from last night.

     "It was... fine," Ella muttered as she stared down at her trunk. Her eyes being unable to focus on her school clothes before she grabbed her shirt and a few other things. She then looked over at Lily who was smirking, not even hiding it.

     "Just fine?" Lily asked and Ella nodded. The redhead then pulled her clothes on and covered herself up much to Layla's dismay, "Did you see Sirius leave the dorm?" Lily asked after a moment. Ella nodded and grabbed her tie, staring at it for a moment before she threw it with the rest of her clothes for the day. Lily's voice was making her brain hurt but she didn't complain.

     "Yeah, I saw 'im on the way down from the dorm and yea it was just fine," Ella muttered wanting to avoid the questions. She was just waiting for her words to be echoed back at her but at least Lily wouldn't do so. The redhead leaving with a kiss to Layla's cheek leaving the best friends alone. Ella wanting nothing more than to bury her head in the sand while Layla just watched her.

     "Are you alright?" Layla asked as she moved off the bed. She then grabbed her clothes for the day and slowly began to change into them. Ella just staring at the bed and she seemed to wince at the sound of Layla's voice.

     "Yeah, regrettin' the drinks," Ella muttered softly as she reached out to pull her jumper off. She threw it to one side and grabbed her dress, pulling it off too. Then she grabbed her shirt and began to button it up, taking her time. Her mind seemed to be slower than it usually was.

     "I think that makes sense. I mean you revealed a lot..." Layla trailed off. Ella nodded and let out a soft sigh. It wasn't entirely a bad thing what she revealed, she probably cleared a lot of things up but it felt exposing. Everything was out in the open for them to know which was odd for her. Ella liked her secrets but now there were none. Especially concerning her feelings towards James.

     "Could 'a' been worse. Nobody asked about kinks," Ella responded, snorting slightly at her own words. Layla turned around quickly, cocking an eyebrow and Ella simply sent her a sly smile. A soft chuckle left Layla's lips and then Ella pulled her shirt up over her hip. She zipped it up and then looked to Layla properly now, "So you and Lily 'ave fun?" Ella asked as she walked over, nudging her slightly. Layla rolled her eyes but nodded her head.

     "We did. It's going well. Now, come on, we gotta get down to breakfast," Layla said as she pulled her shoes on. Ella pouted softly and then proceeded to pull the rest of her clothes on hastily. She left the tie around her neck and stuffed James' jumper into her bag so she could put it on once he had done the tie for her. Her robes were on though and the two headed out.

     The walk to the Great Hall was quiet purely for Ella's sake but the second they sat down, it seemed to be even louder. Ella promptly downing the disgusting hangover potion in hopes of it stopping how much her head hurt. She needed it otherwise she wouldn't be able to function for the rest of the day. The other three girls just watched with a smile on their faces.

     "I guess her practice on drinking disgusting liquid came from her nights with James?" Marlene teased as she looked over at Lily. The redhead snorting and covering her mouth with her hand. Layla chuckled and grabbed her toast, taking a bite out of it. Ella placed the cup down and buried her face in her hands. A pout on her lips though they couldn't see it.

     "You're embarrassing her, how cute. I think she might like that though," Layla teased as she nudged Ella's side. Ella groaned and gave Layla a glare. The brunette chuckled again and then gently ruffled Ella's hair before she just let her hands drop. Realising that she still needed to get James to tie her tie. He was still much better than she was.

     "Come on, leave her be. Let James embarrass her, we might be free from her for the rest of the day if that happens," Lily added. At first Ella had some hope that she would be saved from the further embarrassment but her cheeks only heated up further. Her pout only becoming more prominent before she decided to get up. She couldn't take this for much longer.

     "I'll be back in a minute," Ella said as she left her satchel on the chair. She then walked down the table and came to sit next to James. Resting her head against his shoulder as a soft sigh passed her lips. James glanced down at her and then turned to face her. Her head lifting as she lifted up the edges of her tie. He rolled his eyes and then tucked some hair behind her ear.

     "Here she is, the girl who spilt her guts," Sirius grinned before he took a sip of pumpkin juice. She rolled her eyes and let James do her tie. Her gaze turning up to the sky as she rested her hands in her lap, "It was rather interesting, wouldn't you say Moony?" Sirius asked as he turned to his friend. Remus shrugged and took a bite out of his toast. He didn't seem to want to be involved in his teasing but Sirius and Peter did so nonetheless.

     Ella enduring it and biting her tongue as she let him finish with his task. James was quick as always and once he was done, Ella promptly stood up. She didn't bother to converse and just walked back to her seat. She plopped back down with a huff and then grabbed her - well James' jumper - and pulled it on. Her cloak being placed over-top once again.

     "Don't start," Ella said harshly before she grabbed her toast and began to eat it. She didn't want to deal with this anymore. She really did not have the energy. The teasing would surely continue but that would be something that the others decided to do. Ella couldn't stop that, not for a second.

***

     The day had passed pretty quickly. The afternoon coming quicker than Ella wanted. Her studying in the library had gone by in a click of her fingers and she wasn't entirely opposed to that. She felt like she had learnt enough but there was a part of her that was slightly worried she had actually learnt nothing. However, those thoughts were at the back of her mind now. All she cared about now was speaking to James.

After some convincing from Marlene and realising that all the boys bar James were in the library, Ella decided that they needed to actually talk. Finally just say something to him since it had been far too long of them just being together but not saying it. Ella liked that but she needed the clarity, the security that actually talking about it would give her. She needed to know that he truly cared for her.

The letter she received this morning certainly alluded to it. Her mother had sent her a letter to ask how things were going and Ella was quick to realise that it wasn't her mum that had gifted her the picture of her as a kid. It was James. It was James' handwriting on the gift tag and he hadn't even brought it to her directly which she understood. It made her happy either way, she just wished she had known earlier.

But she put those thoughts to one side as she knocked on the door of his dorm. She stood for a few minutes and heard no noise or inkling that someone was there. A soft frown spread across her lips and she knocked a bit louder. There was noise that time and she heard what sounded like a groan. Ella cocked an eyebrow as she tentatively opened the door.

When she was able to peer in, she saw James lying on the bed. His head buried in the pillows, his glasses on the bedside table and the covers wrapped around him like a burrito. Clearly he did not want to be disturbed by anyone which Ella couldn't help but grin at. She moved into the room and closed the door behind her, watching him for a moment.

"Ella?" He asked softly as his eyes blinked open for a second. Ella smiled back at him and nodded, walking over. A soft sigh passed through his lips as he lifted his head up. It was quick to fall back down as he let out a yawn. The brunette chuckled as she walked to his bed, perching on the edge. She ran her fingers through his messy bed-head as he sighed in content. A small smile appearing on his lips.

"Did I catch you in a bad moment?" Ella asked softly before James let out a soft groan. He reached out to take her hand and pulled her onto the bed with him. A soft chuckle escaped her lips and she was quick to settle next to him. Her arm wrapping around his body as she rested her head against him. A soft murmur of words leaving his lips but they were practically inaudible, "I was wantin' to talk but it can wait," Ella said softly as she looked up at his face. James' eyes opened again at her words. A soft yawn escaping before he finally forced them to stay open.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly. Ella just shrugged a little and James frowned deeper, pushing himself to sit up. He didn't really like where this was going, not at all. Though she didn't looked worried so he knew that it couldn't have been all that bad. She was talking to which ruled out a run-in with her step-mother. Both things which had caused Ella a lot of pain.

"Nothin' really, just I want to talk about us," Ella admitted, pulling away as he moved to stand up. The worry appearing on his tired face as he reached out for his glasses. He slipped them on and she just looked up at him. He reached out to take her hands as Ella moved to sit up, sitting close to him but not on his lap. They needed to talk first.

"I don't want to end this," James mumbled and Ella looked at him, confused for a moment before she realised. A soft chuckle escaped her lips as she looked at him, her smile seemed to widen a little. She didn't ever want to lose him again, "What?" He asked quickly and she just smiled.

"I don't either, Jamie," She admitted and James furrowed his eyebrows. He reached out for her hips and then pulled her onto his lap, confusion written across his face. Ella wrapped her arms around his neck, straddling his waist as she ran her fingers through his messy hair. His eyes boring into hers as he tried to work out what was going on inside her head.

"Then what's wrong?" He asked softly as he let his hand rest on her thighs. A small frown appearing as he watched her look over his face. Her gaze skimming over his features as she took him in in the dull light of the bedroom. The lamp on the wall was lit giving them just about enough light to see each other but he still couldn't quite read her.

"S'just, we've been kissin' and fuckin' but we've not clarified what we are... I just want to know, really know," Ella admitted. James frowned slightly before he nodded and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. It was gentle and she noticed how his lips didn't seem to be as chapped that day. Something that made her grin a little wider. He took note of it. She wasn't sure if that was cute or it made her feel guilty, "You said you loved me and that you don't like Lily like that but I'm just... worried," Ella added quickly. James tilted his head at her words.

"I never loved Lily. I thought I did but it's not the same as this... I loved the idea of her. You are totally different. I was confused that day. Confused and stupid and totally unaware. Nobody will ever compare to how much I love you and I can't believe I hadn't seen it until you'd gone," James muttered and Ella just watched him. Her eyebrows pulling together before she began to smile a little bit

"James..." Ella muttered as she moved her gaze to him. He chuckled softly and cupped her cheeks with his hands. He was telling the truth and he wanted her to know that. He leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

"You are going to be the one I choose and I was so stupid not to see that," He said as he looked down at her. Ella tilted her head, confusion etched across her features as she took a hold of his hand.

"Then, why didn't ya speak to me when you first realised?" She asked and James knew that was a fair question. He held onto her hands, tangling their fingers together as he took her in. He knew she just needed to know. They needed to be honest about this. He had questions too.

"Because I was scared and worried and confused. I kissed you when I was drunk and hadn't even asked if it was okay. Then I woke up and felt so stupid because I was so sure it looked like I was leading you on and then you didn't say anything. So, I thought I'd pissed you off, a lot so I just didn't say anything... It felt like I'd messed it up and you hadn't consented and I was worried I'd broke your trust," James ramble-explained. There was more that could be said about why he was so quiet for so long but he didn't want to look worse than he did. He already felt like he was being weird so he just smiled softly. Ella took in his words slowly and smiled softly right back at him.

"Thanks for carin'... about consent and everythin'. Boys usually don't," Ella muttered. James smiled and pressed a kiss to her temple. Ella just smiled a little wider at that and let her head rest against his chest.

"Did you only kiss me to get the Marauders Map?" He asked softly, burying his face in her hair. He just wanted to know. There were so many things he felt like he didn't know. Ella shook her head and lifted it, cupping his face now. She let her fingers run across his cheek, tilting her head as she admired him.

"Never. Part of it was but there was a bigger part of me that just needed to kiss you. I should 'ave told you the truth and I spent like three days tryin' to think of somethin' to say but it never came but we're 'ere now and s'fine," Ella muttered. James nodded and pressed a kiss to her lips. Letting the silence invade the space as he just looked down at her admiring her.

"What do you want us to be?" James asked, curiosity filling his tone as he pulled her to rest against his chest. Ella was quick to adjust and nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck. Her nose nudging against his skin as she took in his scent. It was gorgeous, she wanted to just drown in the pine wood.

"To be together," Ella admitted, her words were soft barely audible but James heard them and he grinned wider than he had before. His arms moved to wrap around her waist fully, pushing her right against his chest. He hid his grin in her hair and Ella was relieved that he didn't react negatively to her words. He pressed a soft kiss to her hair before he lifted her head up. He pressed a kiss to her lips and cupped her cheek as he admired her.

"Good because I want to be with you. I love you," He said quickly, not even thinking before he kissed her lips another few times. His words making the butterflies erupt in her stomach. Suddenly everything felt amazing and she was quick to kiss him back as fervently. Her hands gripping his hair as she adjusted to sit more comfortable. Kissing him, keeping him close. She had never felt more lucky in her life.

"I love you too," She mumbled between kisses. The pair not wanting to break away as they rolled over. Ella underneath the boy as he peppered kisses all over her face before he went back to kissing her lips. Her arms kept him close and never allowed him to leave. Until they were both breathless and panting heavily. A melodic chuckle escaping her lips as she pulled James down against her chest, "I also realised it was you who gave me that picture of us in the snow," She muttered softly. James nodded and lifted his head to look into her eyes. Blue meeting brown as she ran her fingers through the messiness. Her grin not leaving her lips for a moment. She just couldn't believe this moment was happening, she had never felt happier about anything. He loved her, they were together. It felt like a weight off her shoulders.

"I thought it would be nice for you to have it. It marks the year that you dragged me outside to see the stars," He grinned as he watched her. Ella chuckled and grinned wider. The memory of dragging him outside had always been a distant one but that picture had made it so much clearer. They were both in pyjamas but James had stolen Fleamont's coat and Ella was wearing her mother's. They were too heavy for both of them but they somehow managed. Stumbling around with oversized coats as they rushed out towards the forest to get a clear view of the stars. Ella wanted to show him what she had learnt and James just went along with it, loving to rebel against his parents.

"You're so cheesy," She muttered softly. He shrugged and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Her arms wrapped around him and she pulled him down to rest against her. His glasses slipping from his nose and Ella was quick to take them off, placing them on the bedside table again, "You still look tired," She commented as her fingers ran over the bags under his eyes. James shrugged a little and they rolled over. Both of them on their sides, facing each other as they held onto each other.

"We could just nap together," He suggested nonchalantly but Ella grinned at that idea. It was the best thing he could have suggested. Ella leant down and removed her shoes before she moved under the covers. James wrapped them tightly around them both, he rested his head against the pillows while her head fit perfectly underneath his chin. James wrapped his arms around her and let his eyes close. Ella's eyes closing too.

"I love you," She said softly again before she went silent. James just squeezed her body before he let out a breath. The two of them falling slowly into sleep, Ella was just as exhausted as James was so it wasn't hard for her to fall asleep especially with his comfort.

***

𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ! okay so we started with some fluff cause these babies are finally together and i needed that love in my life! and then we got to the last sort of plot thing that i need to wrap up for this story! i'm scared for these last couple chapters but excited for y'all to see them because that means i can eventually get onto the sequel (that will be updated once all of 'more' and 'someone' has been published since they are both sort of relevant to the sequel) anyway, enough rambling, i hope you enjoyed <3