ya'll remember in my other hermitcraft stuff book those really angsty and fucking depressing "headcanons"? i guess they're part of an AU now because they're in no way accurate ;-;

so today i'll be reviewing everything from that angsty AU! some things i won't cover because i still headcanon them :D

(warning: lots of angst, toxic and manipulative relationships, and technically abuse)

-first off, the saddest thing in this AU, there is absolutely nothing about Python, Wels, or Jevin :'D

-Doc originally was half human half creeper and he had mirror-touch synesthesia in his human parts. It got so bad when he played on servers that he replaced his human parts with robot parts

-Ren was a player and broke the hearts of a bunch the hermits, so when he got into a relationship with Doc he tried as hard as he could to show him he really did love him

-the RenDoc relationship was pretty healthy, besides Ren going above and beyond to show his real love for Doc

-Stress did astral projection, spoke to spirits, and used crystal magic

-False had mild water magic (slight waves, bubbles, small water vortexes)

-False and Stress had a super healthy relationship, healthiest on the server, and the only real problem was them sometimes overworking themselves

-a bunch of the hermits believed in ghosts and some didn't. Some of the ones who didn't believe would try and piss off the "ghosts" to scare the others, and some tried to gently reason that ghosts didn't exist

-Scar used a secret laboratory to experiment on plants. He would then gift these potentially dangerous plants to the other hermits. Cub once found his lab and Scar threatened him with his life to ensure he would never tell anyone

-Cub was a bear hybrid

-the ConVex relationship was the most unhealthy thing to ever exist. Scar carried around a whip and whenever he got pissed he would attack Cub and yell at him. When Cub was in a bad mood, he would turn any conversation with Scar into an extremely aggressive argument and occasionally slap him. The only reason they stay together is because they don't want to hurt others with these outbursts, and the fact that they do actually love each other

-usually a day after arguments, the ConVex bois hang out and apologize and make a pact to not hurt each other for the whole day

-Tango was a magma hybrid and the abused prince of the Nether. One day when he was out on patrol in the overworld, he ran, sick of being abused and treated like dirt. He ran until he just couldn't anymore and collapsed. He woke up in a small house where Zed and Impulse had taken him in. He didn't have much knowledge of the overworld and immediately Impulse tried to tell him that trees were called creepers and that they would explode

-Zed was an enderman hybrid and the over protected prince of The End. He used to the younger brother of the heir, but after his older sister was murdered by a group of players who infiltrated the castle, he was forced into the position. He hated it so much because he wasn't allowed to go anywhere by himself and he was sick of being treated like a piece of glass. One day, Impulse showed up and Zed teleported to talk to him because he was curious. Zed acted very formal to the player, but Impulse just laughed and said that he could just treat him normally because they were both just players. Zed broke down into sobs and Impulse took him to his place because he was concerned and worried. A few months later they found Tango passed out in the woods and took him in

-Impulse was the son of Notch. When he learned why he wasn't allowed to talk to the players (his father feared his powers would go out of control), Impulse became furious and defied his father by hanging out with players and pretending he was one as well. A few years after the attack on the End City, Impulse went to check it out just to see how it as standing. He met Zed and although he already knew who Zed was, he played along as if he was a player and acted like he didn't know anything about Zed. When they found Tango, he did the same and acted like he was just a clueless player. He never told them that he was Notch's son and he planned to keep it that way

-the ZIT relationship is fairly standard and healthy, besides the immense amount of secrets they all keep from each other. Impulse does everything he can to make sure Zed and Tango are happy because he knows what they've been through, and Zed and Tango don't know the other is a prince or that Impulse is the son of Notch

-The new heir to The End throne is an enderdragon hybrid named Ty (Deadlox), the new heir to the Nether throne is a wither hybrid named Jason (TrueMu), and the new heir to Notch's powers is a player named Adam (Skydoesminecraft). I just added them as little easter eggs to the Team Crafted hybrid thingy

-Ren isn't very self aware and that caused him to hurt people on accident

-Xisuma had the power to see a red string tied on everyone's finger and when they were near a certain person (or people) their strings would connect. Although he found that some of the strings tied/connected weirdly and that was because of the relationship the people had. He cannot see his own string, though he wonders what his looks like

-Grian can and will sweet talk his way into anything; he's found the easiest person to charm is Xisuma

-Mumbo was able to see through Grian's sweet talk almost immediately and started to decline offers from him, despite the charming. Grian started pushing the boundaries even when Mumbo said no and soon it turned into guilt tripping. That worked for a little, but eventually Mumbo started to decline every single offer Grian said, whether he actually wanted to do it or not. This resulted in arguments that would end when Grian finally caved or someone else stepped in. Grian was going mad from the attention deprivation and loneliness so he eventually started breaking. Grian became an obedient little puppy and Mumbo was the mastermind

-the Grumbo relationship used to be the opposite; Grian had Mumbo tied up in his strings. Iskall stepped in, feeling bad for Mumbo, and helped Mumbo break through. But after not having had a choice for so long, Mumbo decided to give Grian a taste of his own medicine. When the roles reversed, Iskall was hesitant to step in again because of what happened before. He never told anyone about what was happening behind the scenes, except for Stress because the pressure really started getting to him

-Cleo and Joe weren't on the best of terms. They had very different opinions and were both so stubborn that they'd never back down from an argument. They cared about each other's safety and always thought that they knew best for the other person. One day, during a heated argument, Joe snapped and slapped Cleo. Joe felt really bad afterwards, but he didn't apologize because he was scared he would slip up and only make the situation worse

-Xisuma was the ultimate shipper because he knew who everyone was supposed to end up with; Ren was also a massive shipper just because he was practically cupid

-deep down, Grian knew what Mumbo was doing to him. In fact, he'd known from the start. He was just too heartbroken to admit it

o.O and i think that's it folks! yes i did actually read through all the old "headcanons" (and lowkey die internally) to write this! its at 1322 words ;-;