A/N: Hey sorry for not updating in a while. I have musical practice everyday after school until 7:00 and that's been consuming my time quite a bit. I was going to update last week, but then my school got a bunch of threats about a shooting so I was too stressed to write. Sorry!

As always, thank you for reading!

CH 5.

We walked in silence down the bustling city streets. I noticed that we did a lot of that- walking in silence, and thousand yard stares. The hat on my head obstructed some of the view, but I didn't mind. It was a small price to pay to be able to witness the human experience at work. Everything around me was a wonder. Everything completely and utterly new. Every laugh I heard felt like a drum in my chest, every voice like a twinkling of bells. It was all so vibrant, so bright, so purely alive.

I think I loved humans.

And not the stupid, pointless love like a toddler has for a toy truck, or what a teenage girl feels for her first crush. But a true love. A real love. A love that I felt burn with passion in every part of me, from the tips of my toes to the heart that apparently beat in my chest. Utter infatuation. I loved everything about everyone I'd seen so far, from the kindness of Viktor's heart to the cruel eyes of Yurio. My heart panged with longing, to be a part of their way of life- to actually have a life with humans.

It was an odd thing I supposed, especially considering how many people genuinely hated the human race. It had its faults, yes, corruption and crime and hatred. But I had my own faults too, namely eating humans. Humanity was something intangible to me. Something bright and shiny like a gemstone, gleaming and present and always there. Always a beacon of hope for everything I wanted to be, and everything I'd always dreamed of being. The past three years of my life had been hell. Total hell. Burning brimstone, torture, and despair. Living amongst the undead, rotting, thoughtless zombies really made me open up my eyes to the miracle that was being alive.

To the miracle that was the tiny faint heart beat in my chest.

If I closed my eyes and focused I could almost feel it. The ghost of a beat, as my heart whispered deeply in my chest pumping blood through my veins. As my heart unknowingly gave me the best gift I'd received in my death- a second chance at life. Viktor had saved me, and my heart had revived me- what a wonderful life I was living.

What a wonderful life.

Life!

I was alive! Well, at least a little bit. Some small part of me was clinging onto life with a determined resilience refusing to let go, through all the pain and starvation and disease, my heart had prevailed. My body hadn't failed me as I'd previously thought, and for that I was eternally grateful.

The realization that soon I would be human thrilled me, it was a totalwave of ecstasy that shot down my spine and ran to my toes, overwhelming me. It took all my patience to not grab Viktor's hand and run out of the walls right then and there, not waiting for the sun to fall and rise again before starting the journey of the beginning of my life.

Viktor must've been able to tell about my impatience. Maybe my stiffened shoulders gave it away, or my constant glances to the walls towering over the city. He reached out a hand indistinctly and grabbed my own fidgeting fingers. The sudden touch relaxed me almost at once. I felt my shoulders sag and my heart flutter. I tore my gaze from the borders of the city to look at him instead.

He was worried. I could tell. I knew he was trying to hide it though. His unease peeked through his eyes like the sun through the crack in an open door. His face was bright and shiny, his mouth a smile drizzled with joy. He was trying to be happy for me, I know.

But the quivering blue of his eyes betrayed him.

I could practically see the gears working behind his eyes, as his mind flashed with millions of scenarios. All of me dying, or him dying, or some grisly ending to what was supposed to be my happily ever after. A tragic ending to my new beginning.

"Hey," I told him, quietly under my breath, "it's all... going to turn out f-fine."

A look of surprise flashed across his face, like he couldn't believe I had seen through his "brilliant" disguise (not that it was hard really, he was an open book).  He blinked once and some of the worry drained out of his eyes. His faint smile grew slightly.

"I know... it will be. You'll be t-there. If you're there, n-nothing will stand in our w-way."

I squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"I think you're placing to much trust in me Yuuri Katsuki." He responded in a surprisingly melancholy soaked voice.

I stopped walking, and faced him, there in the middle of the street. I grabbed his other hand, forcing him to look at me straight on.

"Don't f-forget, you're Viktor Nikiforov, the best.. zombie slayer in the world. There isn't anything we can't do... together."

He laughed, "I suppose so."

"I know s-so."

He flashed me a practically blinding smile and I gave him a soft reassuring grin in return. Neither of us moved away after that. I didn't want to let go of Viktor's hands or ever stop starring at his crystal eyes. We stood like that, holding hands and staring at each other for what felt like eons. Eventually though, the prolonged silence turned more awkward than poetic, and both Viktor and I noticed.

"Let's go home." He said in a hushed tone. His whispered words filled the air with an unsaid promise. A promise of success. A promise of a life. A promise of hope. A promise of a heartbeat.

I nodded slowly, and looked down at my feet.

"Ok."

I pulled my hands back from his and turned the direction of his house. Much to my surprise though, he reached out and took one of my hands again. Startled, I looked at him.

"So we don't get seperated." He whispered.

I thought back to when he said those exact same words to me just yesterday at the hospital. The stark differences of our situations brought a smile to my lips. I squeezed his hand tightly.

"We'll never... get s-separated." I said softly, more to myself than to him. I must've said it too softly though, because he didn't seem to hear me.

...

I sat on the faded blue comforter on Viktor's bed, watching in awe as he piled numerous random things into his once non-cluttered bedroom. It reminded me of an old Disney cartoon I recalled from my past. The Little Mermaid. I felt like Ariel had when she'd gone to the palace to be with prince. Both of us nonhuman creatures living in the human world. I was mesmerized by all the stuff he had brought up. So many things seemed so oddly foreign. Things I'd never heard of or seen before. Weapons I could only guess the purpose of. It was all so new, so confusing. Yet it was a wonderful experience to learn more about Viktor's world. Viktor. He was a wonder in itself.  He had pulled his hair back into a makeshift ponytail before he had started working, and I couldn't get over how much simply pulling his hair back had significantly altered his appearance. The hairstyle had somehow softened his features. I almost scoffed at how feminine he looked, and how hilariously that contrasted to the fact that he was slinging a rusty chainsaw over his shoulder.

He had set out three worn looking bags, a yellow duffel with what suspiciously looked like blood stained across the strap, a faded blue messenger bag, and a muddied brown backpack with a broken zipper. A few sets of clothes had been set in piles next to them. Basic stuff to take with us on our trip like t-shirts, jeans, and underwear.

Viktor had explained to me we had to travel lightly, he was bringing three packs, a personal packs for the both of us, a bag full of weapons, and one for food.

I eyed the drops of sweat that were precariously forming on Viktors hairline. The air circulating in his house was hot, and the fact that Viktor was dragging heavy equipment upstairs into his room probably wasn't helping.

"Don't b-bring a chainsaw." I told him.

He looked up, surprised.

"Why not?" He asked, bewilderment painted on his face.

"Too heavy, choose... something l-lighter," I explained, "Like that sword." I pointed at a sharp looking metal sword, partially hidden underneath a rifle.

"A sword?" Viktor laughed, rolling his eyes.

He reached down into the weaponry pile and pulled out the aforementioned sword. Viktor rubbed a spot on it with his thumb, attempting halfheartedly to clean it.

"I am pretty good with blades..." Viktor murmured to himself.

I raised my eyebrows in triumph.

"I didn't realize you were such an expert on slaying zombies." He told me with a smirk.

"Well, I a-am." I said with a false sense of smugness.

He rolled his eyes at me and went back to polishing the long silver blade.

"Also bring a... gun. F-for long range enemies." I added as an afterthought.

Viktor burst out laughing. It was a laugh I hadn't heard from him before, it was a sound that ripped out of his chest without permission. A loud childlike sound of pure amusement. I practically expected him to double over he was laughing so hard.

His laughter was contagious, I had to stifle a giggle myself.

"What?" I asked him in mock defensiveness.

"It's just," he got out between laughs, "you're utterly adorable."

I hadn't expected him to say that. The smile on my face quickly melted, and I felt an embarrassed blush heat up my face and ears. I never was particularly good at accepting compliments. In an attempt to change the topic, I leaned back so I was laying on the bed.

"I'm tired." I announced.

"You're not tired." Viktor told me, still trying to control his laughter, "you just want it to be tomorrow already."

I closed my eyes and smiled. He wasn't exactly wrong...

I just couldn't get over the fact that I was going to become human. I was going to be one of them- a living, breathing, laughing, human in the streets of Viktor's town. I was going to be contributing to the pulsating rhythm in the streets. I was going to have life surrounding me at all times, instead of death. An existence without darkness. It was a beautiful thought.

"You're such a dork," He scoffed, "Fine. I'll finish up packing and then join you. Feel free to go to sleep now."

I opened my eyes and analyzed the bumps on the ceiling, and pondered if I should wait for him to finish. Eventually I decided to go to sleep. I needed the day to come to a close. Sitting up, I carefully unlaced my shoes and slid them off, setting them next to the bed. I did the same with my socks. I stretched once, popping my spine, and sighed.

"Goodnight... V-Viktor." I said while crawling under the covers.

"Goodnight Yuuri Katsuki." He called back.

I closed my eyes, smiling at the way my name sounded in Viktors voice. Gentle, and melodic. He popped the T and drew out the vowels. The way he phrased it made it sound almost like a choral song, or a poem. Something as mundane my name didn't deserve to sound as breathtakingly stunning as it did when it came out of viktors voice.

Yet, it did.

...

It turned out that I couldn't fall asleep. Instead, I listened to the loud breathing of Viktor, as he shuffled through clothes, weapons, and wrappers. Packing, and unpacking, and repacking until everything was perfect for our trip.

Eventually I heard him zip the bags and walk over to the bed. I remained still, and pretended that I was sleeping, not wanting Viktor to feel like he had kept me up.

He got ready for bed quickly and quietly, barely making any sound as he sat down on the bed. He was so quiet, that I almost jumped when he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

It was light and quick. A peck as soft as a butterfly's wing scratching against my skin.

"Goodnight Yuuri." He said again to the quiet room, his voice full of an emotion I couldn't manage to decipher. He turned on his side and pulled the blankets over himself.

I listened to his breathing gradually get slower and further apart, until he drew in the deep breaths that told me he was so obviously asleep.

I opened my eyes and tried to see him in the blurry darkened room. He was stretched across his side of the bed, with his hand peeking out from under the comforter. Viktor's hair was down again, and it fell over his face, sticking to his lips and gleaming in the moonlight. He looked like an angel. He looked like a child. He looked like everything good and pure in the world. He was everything good and pure in the world. And he was mine.

I reached a hand up and brushed my fingertips along where he had kissed. Smiling, I brought the hand down, and interlaced my fingers with Viktors own exposed ones.

"Goodnight Viktor." I whispered, and closed my eyes.

Once Viktor was next to me, once I was holding his hand, I had no troubles falling asleep.

...

I awoke the next morning to anticipation eating my stomach away. Viktor was next to me, still softly snoring in the early hours of the morning. I noticed that at some time in the night our joined hands had let go of each other. I felt a wave of disappointment at this observation. A quick glance out the window made it obvious that the sun had only just arisen. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the bright light shining in through the unblinded windows. My efforts proved to be futile though, unable to fall back into slumber, I cut my losses and rolled over onto my side.

I let myself take in the sight of the sleeping figure in front of me, taking in every detail. The way the suns hushed morning rays caressed his pale skin. The curve of the shadows his eyelashes created along his cheek. The mellow and subdued snoring hesitantly escaping his thin rose colored lips.

I was totally engrossed with starring at him. There was something oddly hypnotic about watching him sleep. Every slow drawn in breath he in took felt like my own, every twitch on his face I felt mirrored on my own expression. While watching him, I almost felt like I was him. Or, that I was like him. Alive. Breathing. Sleeping peacefully without the perpetual but metaphorical crushing weight of death on his shoulders.

But then I realized, soon that would be me. Soon I could sleep as soundly as him. Soon the weight of the world would be lifted off of me, and I could walk freely, without my limp, without my bloody eye, without the never ending degrading condition I was left in because a virus made claim to my brain before I could stop it. I was unable to protect my dying brain because of a loss of consciousness. But soon, it would all be ok again. Soon I would be like Viktor, and all the other humans that walked the streets in the stronghold. Soon I could laugh with them, talk with them, smile with them. Soon I would be a human myself. I could shed the decaying costume that the virus had engulfed me in. I could break free of the cumbersome chains that wrapped themselves around my brain and squeezed, shouting at my mind with everything in them, telling me to die.

I would finally shut them up.

And that prospect in itself was something to smile about. And so I did. I layed there grinning like an idiot, my eyes glazed over. Which put me in a rather awkward situation when at that moment, the aforementioned sleeping figure woke up. Viktor blinked slowly, attempting to clear the sleep from them.

"Hi." I told him quietly in way of a greeting.

"Hi." He said groggily and closed his eyes again.

I sat up, panicked.

"No! D-don't go back to... sleep!"

He sighed loudly in response and threw an arm over his face.

"Someone's eager, aren't they?" He teased, drowsiness clinging to his voice and slurring his words.

"A little bit."

The truth was, I could hardly sit still now that he was awake. Butterflies intruded my stomach, flying around and leaving me queasy with excitement. I almost felt like I was going to puke. Puking from happiness, that was something new.

"Fine, fine. I'm getting up." he groaned, a pretend annoyance infiltrating his voice.

Overjoyed, I swung my legs off the bed, frantically trying to crawl out. I managed to get both my shoes and socks on before Viktor had even moved again. He sat up and watched me tie the laces. To be fair, I probably looked ridiculous. My tongue poking out of my mouth in concentration, as I desperately fumbled with the strings battling my terrible hand eye coordination.

He laughed gently, and finally stood up. Seeing him stand brought me to the sudden realization that he was shirtless. I froze, my eyes scanning over the pale scarred bare chest in front of me. I guess I hadn't noticed his lack of clothing last night in the dark. The blanket had probably covered his chest up.

I knew of course, it was a completely natural thing to do, to be shirtless in front of someone else. But to me it seemed to be something more. I couldn't determine how I felt about it. On one hand I was mortified at the realization that we had slept like that all night. It seemed like such an intimate thing to do (maybe I was just a prude). On the other though, it seemed like such a step forward for us in our... relationship? Friendship? Mutual-goal-to-make-me-human-ship? Whatever we were, anyways. The fact that he could be so exposed to me, so open, when I was literally a bloodthirsty monster, meant so much. It showed a trust that I wasn't sure was there for sure. But now, there was no denying that he was comfortable around me.

This thought crossed my mind and I froze. What was our relationship? I didn't know I felt about Viktor. Realizing this hit me like a brick wall. What were Viktor and I? And more importantly, what did I want us to be? I had never really had enough interaction with the other zombies to form any sort of bond, but now that I could make an emotional connection with someone, what did that mean? I liked Viktor. I really liked him. I liked the way he smiled at me, like no one ever had. I liked the way he trusted me. I liked the way he decorated his house in every color known to humanity. I liked his eyes and how they shone when the sun hit them, and sparkled in the moons rays at night. I liked how his laugh danced on his lips. I liked everything about him.

And I think he liked me too. He laughed with me, and smiled with me. He was risking his life and limb specifically to make me happy. He was hesitant about the trip we were about to undertake purely because I might die. He kissed my forehead at night when he thought I wasn't awake. All of that had to have meant something, right?

But what did it mean? Were the feelings I had for him platonic? Or something more? Maybe I was just mistaking the feelings felt  in my gut. Viktor was the first person in my death to show me any kindness, maybe I was subconsciously mistaking my gratitude for romantic feelings. All I knew was I felt a pang in my gut when he smiled. And his laugh warmed my chest like a fire. And why was I only realizing this now? Why was I realizing this while sitting on his bedroom floor tying my shoes.

I felt his hot gaze on me from across the room and blushed. It didn't matter my feelings, I decided. I could sort those out later. I'd lock them away in a little box where I would be able to pay them no mind. The main thing I needed to focus on was the mission. The only thing that needed to consume my thoughts and time was the prospect of being human, and how the only thing that was stopping me from achieving that goal was 75 miles of unexplored terrain.

75 miles.

That was nothing. That was child's play. I could do this. As long as I had Viktor by my side. He could do anything. We could do anything.

I was starting to idolize Viktor. I saw him as everything I wanted. He had everything I'd always dreamed about. A home, friends, a non-infested brain. We were vastly different creatures, Viktor and I. Vastly different beings. I didn't even see myself as being on the same scale as him, let alone the same level. But. Maybe once I was human that could change.

My head shot up with the stark realization that I had let myself get lost in thought again, like how I used to back at the hospital. My thoughts a never ending stream of consciousness  perpetually betraying and berating me. Who knew how much time had passed while I'd been lucidly staring at my shoes. Though, looking in his direction, it seemed like Viktor had done the same. My sharp headjerk had startled him out of whatever thought-induced fantasies were playing behind his eyes. We both blinked at each other a few times. Trying to phase ourselves back into reality and silence the unceasing words demanding attention in our brains.

"Sorry." He said, raising a hand to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment. For the faintest second I was incredibly confused as to the cause of his embarrassment. But then I realized he must've zoned out while starring at me. I felt a blush arise in my cheeks.

"It's o-ok."

A few seconds of awkward silence passed before Viktor jumped up.

"Well, I'll go make us some breakfast now, and then we can go meet Yurio out by the walls."

My mood brightened considerably once he said that. I practically jumped up off the ground, a grin enveloping my face.

"Don't look too eager." Viktor mumbled.

"Sorry."

"No need to apologize, what do you want for breakfast."

"You d-decide."

"Ok."

I payed extra attention, walking down the steps that morning. I wanted to see if I had made any more progress on healing my limp. I noticed, with some exuberance, that it had slightly. Not anything as drastic as the day before, in fact I probably wouldn't even have noticed if I hadn't been paying specific attention on it. I took my limp healing as a good omen for the trip we were about to take. It seemed positive, my leg had healed before we left, so I in turn would heal. It was nice to be thinking so openly optimistically for a change. Being near Viktor had erased some of the ever constant pessimistic thoughts that attacked my mind. He had changed so much for me, done so much for me. He was about to help me turn human. What could I ever do to repay him for all that he had done for me.

When we got to the kitchen Viktor prepared a brief meal of scrambled eggs. He told me about a friend of his, Ota-something, who owned a couple of chickens. Apparently Viktor had saved the town from a zombie invasion two years ago, and the guy still gave him free eggs as a thanks.

It was probably a really exiting story, I could hardly pay attention though, as a glance to the clock on the wall made it abundantly clear that it was almost time to leave. I practically shoveled the food into my face, trying to ignore the butterflies of anticipation I felt that we're beginning to get very upset at being ignored.

Viktor finished his breakfast slower than i did. He was hesitant with each bite, using long and fluid drawn out motions to carry the food to his mouth. He obviously still was unsure of the mission. I payed that little mind though. He may be unsure, but I knew Viktor wouldn't flake out. He knew what this meant to me, that's why he agreed in the first place.

I watched him eat, slowly, meticulously, taking great care. I bounced my leg up and down under the table, impatiently. I held my breath  as he got up and at a snails pace washed our forks and plates in the sink. It had just gotten to the point where I couldn't take it anymore, when he sighed and opened his mouth to speak.

"I suppose we should go now."

I grinned at him in response.

We walked to the front porch together. I sat down on the wicker furniture while he ran back inside to turn off the power and grab the bags. I put ivy patterned baseball cap on my head, covering my eye with the brim. Looking at my palms, I studied the cracks and bends that littered my skin. I wondered if they'd still be there when I was human. I wondered How much of me would change, and what parts of me would change. Would I look the same? Or completely different? Would my scars fade? Would my eye heal? There were so many questions left unanswered. So many mysteries left to discover. And all I had to do was leave these walls.

I did feel some regret at leaving the beautiful city. I didn't want to leave the pure light that living people gave off. But I knew, abandoning it this one time, would ensure I got to be there forever. So I quieted those thoughts and focused on how excited I was to embark on this mission. I was confident in Viktor's abilities to make it happen.

Viktor.

Was there anything he couldn't do?

That thought ran across my mind just as he stepped forward onto the porch. The three bags in his hands. He smiled and gave me the messenger bag containing our clothes. I took it and slung it over my shoulder feeling a hint of guilt. I knew he had given me the lightest bag. I also knew I would be the one who slowed down our mission.

I hoped to never feel like that again. Internally, I vowed I would get into top physical form once I was human. I could almost picture the feeling of sweat on my forehead, and my lungs as they burned in discomfort, longing for air. Maybe I would get into a sport, like Viktor had before the apocalypse. I thought back to the medal in his room, near the photo of his dog.

"Wait!" I exclaimed, turning to face Viktor.

He looked back at me, concern drawn on his face.

"Yes?" He questioned earnestly.

"What about... your dog. Is s-someone... going to watch him?"

He looked at me with a blank expression, and then laughed, "Yeah, he's still at my friend's house. No need to worry. Sorry you haven't met him yet though, you'd like him. He's a great dog."

I smiled back at him, "I will once I'm human."

The response was sort of my passive aggressive way of saying 'let's go!' Viktor picked up on the hint. He readjusted the bags on his back, closed and locked the front door, and took a step off the front porch.

I followed behind him quietly on the trip to the walls. I kept my head down, it may have been early but the streets were already alive with people walking about. I tried to sneak casual looks up once in a while, just to take in the sights of the city before we left.

A yellow painted bakery, just opening up for the day.

Three little kids playing jump rope on the street.

A bearded man begging for money on a street corner.

A mother nursing her child behind a building.

Humans being 100% alive.

I was so busy sneaking glances around, I hardly even realized we had arrived at our destination. I only comprehended it once I  heard Yurio's cruel voice ring through the air.

"It's about time," He spat out, not without malice, "I sent JJ off on some wild goose chase for bandages across town a few minutes ago, so we need to leave now."

Between the three of us there were six bags, two for clothes, one for food, one for the portable energy conductor, one for weapons, and one for medical supplies.

The door to the stronghold was open. I could see the outside from where I was standing near Viktor. I could see a sliver of some trees, swaying in the wind. Viktor and I walked over to where Yurio was standing.

The three of us in turn each looked out the door of the walls into the unknown. Yurio with a look of disdain, Viktor with a look of worry, and l, with a look of pure joy.