Even though Michael was finished with his exams and didn't have anything else to study for, he found himself in the kitchen on Friday night with the intent of talking with the cook. Before Ian began working for them, Michael had only ever spent time in the dining room to eat or study, but the other man didn't know this, so he didn't seem surprised when Michael came to take a seat at the peninsula, his elbows propped up on the counter and his hands clasped in front of his mouth as he watched the him work with slightly narrowed eyes.

The night before, Michael had rehearsed his speech a few times over with Ian staring at him and asking the occasional question, and then they had spent the rest of the evening having a heated debate in French about the science fiction novel he had read six or so months ago that Ian had happened to pick up as well.  It was something Michael had never been able to do before with his brothers or even a friend, and he greatly enjoyed the shared interests of french and controversial sci fi novels.

"Hey," Ian greeted, smiling at him before bringing his attention down to the pan he was scrubbing in the sink. "How was your speech?" It was Michael's instinct to get up and help him with the dishes, but that would be weird, so he instead chewed his lip and thought about how to answer the question.

"It was great," he answered. "I rehearsed it so many times that I didn't even need to think about what I was saying".

Humming, Ian placed the pan in the drying rack and rinsed the remaining suds off his fingers, drawing Michael's attention to his hands. They were another beautiful part of him, smooth and unblemished, fingers long and slender, nails neatly trimmed. With a sigh, Michael forced his gaze away. Whenever he thought about Ian's hands too long, he thought about what they would look like wrapped around a certain part of him, or how the older man would appear pressing them into himself, and it was an unwanted distraction.

Oblivious to Michael's thoughts, Ian turned off the sink and asked, "how do you know that you said everything right if you weren't even paying attention to yourself?"

Michael shrugged his shoulders, unclasping his hands and instead crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I guess I don't. Maybe I spent the whole ten minutes talking about whether or not the multiple universe theory is liable," he said, referring to their conversation the night before. Ian laughed at the reference, but the sound was short lived, and when it cut off his teeth sunk into his lower lip "What?"

"I made something today," Ian said nervously, the skin of his cheeks flushed pink. The answer wasn't one Michael had been expecting, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise as he watched the man cross the kitchen to where a covered dessert tray sat to the left of the sink. He carried it over and placed it in front of Michael before lifting to top. Underneath were a dozen or so pink macaroons.

"Oh," Michael said, pleased. He was reaching out a hand for one before he really thought about it, and then paused halfway, looking at Ian. "Can I have one?"

"Yeah," the man answered with a small chuckle. "Of course you can. I didn't bring them over here to taunt you". Michael picked up the one closest to him and took a bite, humming at the flavor. Unsurprisingly, they were quite good.

"What inspired you to make these?" he asked, watching as Ian picked up one of the deserts as well and shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

"Hmmm," Ian hummed as he chewed, waiting to actually speak until he had swallowed. "Well, they're my favorites, to eat and to make. And I figured I should do something nice for the successful end of the semester".

"Ahh". Michael pushed the last bite of macaroon past his lips, chewing thoughtfully. "We don't really know if it was a successful end or not yet". Ian shot him an are you serious look that had Michael raising his eyebrows. "What?"

"You don't study as much as you did and not end up with good grades," Ian claimed.

Shrugging his shoulders, Michael eyed the plate of macaroons, wondering if he should take another one. "Maybe I'm just not very smart".

"I think I've overheard your family members refer to you as the smart one multiple times".

"Is that saying much though?" Michael asked, and Ian laughed. Giving in to the temptation, Michael reached out and grabbed another desert from the plate, pausing only when it was between his fingers. "Should I save some of these for my brothers? They finished their semester too".

"Nah," Ian answered, eyes on the pink desert he had pinched between his thumb and forefinger. "I didn't make them for your brothers". Smiling to himself, Michael continued to eat, taking small bites to savor the flavor. It was quite between them for a moment, and then Ian sighed heavily and said, "Is that mean of me? It feels kind of mean".

"No," Michael assured immediately, shutting down Ian's concerns. He thought about how his brothers treated those who worked for them. Daniel wasn't particularly unpleasant, but he never said please or thank you and never smiled or offered pleasantries, though that was kind of just his personality. Joe on the other hand was often straight up rude, expecting people to constantly wait on him and be happy to do so despite his behavior. "They have no manners. Dan doesn't do it on purpose, I think he's mostly clueless about those kinds of things, but Joe can just be a dick. I wouldn't want to make them anything special to eat either".

Ian sighed heavily and shook his head. "Ce n'est pas vraiment ça (that's not really it)," he explained. "C'est juste un peu bizarre qu'ils fassent comme si je n'existe pas jusqu'à ce qu'ils veuillent quelque chose. Et je sais que c'est stupide d'être contrarié à propos de ça parce que c'est mon travail et pas vraiment de leur faute, mais ça me rend un peu mal à l'aise d'être ignoré comme si je n'étais pas vraiment une personne ... Je m'y habituerai assez vite." (It's just kind of weird how they pretend I don't exist until they want something. And I know it's stupid to be upset about that because it's my job and not really their fault, but it just makes me kind of uneasy to be ignored like I'm not actually a person... I'll get used to it soon enough).

"You shouldn't have to. That's kind of how they've always treated the house staff. I don't really get why. Even dad is polite and Joe tends to do whatever he does. I'm sorry".

Ian smiled warmly at him. "No need to apologize".

"But they're my brothers and it's common courtsey to say hello and ask you how you are".

"Yeah," Ian agreed softly, suddenly seeming lost in thought, eyes shifting down to the tray on the counter. Since the man was very clearly not paying attention to him, Michael took the opportunity to study him carefully. There was something sad about Ian right then, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in tension, his lips a straight line pressed tightly together. He was still beautiful, of course, but Michael didn't like seeing him like this.

"Hey," he said gently, and Ian's brown eyes snapped up to focus on his own. "What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, sorry. Did I zone out?" Ian asked, self consciously rubbing a hand over his forehead. "It's nothing really".

Propping his head up on his palm, Michael blinked at him slowly, disbelieving. "You're a bad lair".

"It's really nothing you need to concern yourself with". 

"Ian," Michael began, voice stern. "You sat at that table and listened to me drunk complain for like a half hour this week. I kind of own you one".

A smile tugged at Ian's lips. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea or anything..." Before Michael could feel anything like excitement– wrong idea about what? – Ian was clarifying. "It's just... I never really thought I'd end up here... doing this, you know? When I went to school in France, I thought that after I graduated... I don't know. That'd I'd be working in a bakery there earning money to open up my own restaurant. This is just so different from what I thought I would be doing".

Michael thought of his conversation with Ian a few days back, in which Ian had said he left France because there was nothing there for him anymore. It didn't seem like he really believed that, but it had come off as a sensitive topic and Michael didn't want him to revert to looking sad again. Instead, he asked, "Do you like working here?" Ian didn't answer right away, his lower lip pulled between his teeth as he thought about it. "I won't be offended if the answer is no".

"That's not whats taking me so long," Ian assured, a frown pulling at the corners of his pretty mouth. "I didn't apply for this job because I was under the impression that it would be super fun. I applied for it because I thought it would keep me busy with the long hours and weekends, but I have just have a lot of free time while I'm here and all I do is think. I guess that's what I get for trying to run away from my problems. I'm just going to have to address them differently".

Once again, Ian's deamor toward the topic prevented Michael from asking for clarification, even though he desperately wanted to ask the man what was troubling enough that he felt like he needed to run away.

"Are you," he began after a pause, thinking of how to phrase his question, "uh, are you planning on quitting then?"

Ian's shoulders raised and fell in a quick shrug. "Some aspects of working here are really great though. Good insurance, great pay..." he trailed off, eyes flickering to meet Michael's then, expression something playful. "Sometimes even good company". When he smiled, Michael found he was unable to do anything but just look at him, his heart beating loudly in his ears.

Oh shit, he thought. I like him. I don't do feelings but I actually like him.

The silence seemed to concern Ian, because is eyebrows drew together in concern and he asked, "Michael?"

"Well," Michael said forcefully, snapping himself out of his trance. "You'll probably start being busier soon. Kalen comes home next weekend". And with Kalen came James, and with James came Tyler sometimes, and those two could eat an alarming amount.   

"Kalen?" Ian inquired, confusion taking over his features. "Who's that?"

It took Michael a minute to recover for the surprise that Ian had been working there for about a week and still had yet to hear of the favorite of the Bradford son. "Um... Kalen's my youngest brother".

"There's another one?" Ian inquired, eyes wide.

Michael laughed, because yes there was another one- there were four other ones, and Ian looked slightly terrified by the prospect of one. "Don't look so scared. You'll probably love Kalen. Everyone loves Kalen. He's the favorite, though I'm not sure that's really saying much. You'll understand what I'm talking about once you meet my older brothers".

This didn't seem to clarify anything, because Ian looked even more troubled. "Older brothers? I thought your mom said that you were the oldest".

Thanking back to the morning he had opened the door to Ian, Michael hummed in understanding. "Ahh, yeah, she does that some times and it's kind of confusing. She doesn't mean that I'm her oldest son, she means that I'm her oldest son that lives with her... you're not the first one to get confused... though most people from the area have already heard quite a bit about out family by the time they meet us so they already know".

Ian just looked at him like he was crazy for a moment before shaking his head and asking. "Okay... so how many of you are there then".

"Seven".

Brown eyes got wider than Michael had ever seen them. "Seven!?"

***

That night, Michael laid in bed for a long time, staring up at his ceiling.

Fuck. Fuck Fuck.

"Fuck," he whispered.

The last person Michael had feelings for – the only person he had ever had feelings for– had been James, and Michael hadn't felt anything like this. This was new. It was scary, and dangerous, and a all around bad idea, but he couldn't help it.

He liked Ian. He liked him. A lot.

Fuck.

He should probably try to avoid it getting worse, should avoid Ian in general, but he loved spending time with him in the kitchen, loved talking to him about things they both enjoyed. It was those moments that made his days better, that took his mind off of all the worrying he had been doing lately.

Was it worth it? To worry less about his dad, but worry more about Ian and how he couldn't let anyone notice his affection. He didn't know.

All Michael wanted to do was talk to someone about it. He thought about James, but he knew him and Kalen had finals week starting, and they were probably studying or maybe doing something that Michael really didn't want to think about.

There was only one other person he felt he could discuss it with, and while it wasn't a good idea, he found himself picking up his phone and searching for their number in his phone.

She picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Daisy," he greated. "It's Michael".

***

On Saturday, he snuck out of the house around ten in the morning. It before either of his brothers had woken up, so he didn't have to answer their questions about where he was off to, and he avoided the kitchen, not wanting to see Ian since if he did, he'd probably end up wanting to stay.

His phone call with Daisy the night before had been short, since she had been getting ready to go into a night shift at work when he rang, but she had suggested he come by sometime on Saturday– "I'll be here all day so come whenever," she had said– so he decided to go right when he got out of bed.

She apparently hadn't been expecting him so early, because when she answered the door, she was still wearing a pair of thin shorts and an oversized t-shirt, her short hair mussed. "Oh," Michael said upon seeing her, looking her up and down once before glancing over his shoulder down the hall. "I can come back, if you want. I guess I wasn't thinking about the fact that you worked a late shift. Sorry".

"You're fine," she assured, walking away from the door but leaving it open. He took that as his signal to step inside so he did, shutting the door gently behind him. "I'll just make some coffee. You want some?"

"Yes please," he answered, his eyes moving over to the closed door of Josh's bedroom. While it had crossed his mind that the other boy might have been there, he didn't really think about how awkward it would be for the two of them to bump into one another.  "Um, is Josh-"

"He's not here," Daisy interrupted, smiling at him over her shoulder before turning back to the coffee maker. "He actually went home for the weekend because he didn't have to work. If he was here we would be meeting in public or something. I think it would be weird for you to come over and talk to me about this new guy you like when you were fucking my cousin less than a week ago".

Sighing in relief, Michael nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah... I can see how that would be strange". He hadn't even spoken to Josh since he had left him in his bed last Monday night, not even over text, so it would probably be strange for Michael just to come to his apartment.

They made small talk until the coffee was done and they were comfortably seated on the couch, side by side. Only then did Daisy ask him to explain the situation.

He started by telling her how him and Ian met, in the grocery store just over a week ago and how infatuated he was with him immediately upon laying his eyes on him. Then, he told her about Ian being hired to work in their kitchen and getting to see him every day. "I don't do feelings, under any circumstances, but he's just so pretty and I spend a lot of time with him and he's funny and thoughtful and he understands the things that interest me and when I talk about what I want to do with the rest of my life he actually listen and asks questions... It's not like I could help it. It just kind of happened. Honestly I don't know why I'm so surprised".

Daisy had remained quiet throughout all of this, slowly sipping her coffee and nodding along as he talked, but when it became clear that was the end of his speech she sighed and spoke. "I guess I don't really see what the problem is here. He sounds nice, and you clearly like him. Why don't you go for it?"

"Um, because I'm not an idiot," he responded, and her eyebrows raised. "Daisy, it'd be way too dangerous. My family doesn't know that I'm gay yet, and I'm sure they'd find out pretty quickly if I started dating someone in our staff". Michael paused then, remembering something.

"I don't do feelings either," Ian had said Wednesday night, after helping drunk Michael up the stairs and into bed.

"What's so horrible about your family finding out again? You don't want the support of your brothers?"

"You know it's not that easy," he accused softly, finally taking the first sip of his own coffee. It was luke warm, and he wrinkled his nose. "My brothers are going to be upset that I didn't tell them sooner. We don't lie to one another, or I guess we hadn't before this, but so many smaller lies have come from this... I lie about where I'm going, I lie about who I'm with, I lie about why I'm not interested in certain girls... And now I'm here, which just means I'm going to have to lie about something else". Michael took a deep breath. "And they're only half of the concern".

"Your father," Daisy said, understanding immediately. Michael nodded his head in conformation.

"And it's not just my sexuality that I have to worry about. I also need to find a way to tell him I'm dropping the major he raised me to have, and I have to tell him soon because I'm going to be student teaching next semester and he's gonna notice that I'm not gonna be taking any classes, but Pierce thinks that is the lesser of my two issues and I should come out to my brothers before that and I just-" Michael cut himself off, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "I just can't, okay? Going for it isn't an option for me right now".

"Okay," Daisy acknowledged softly, her voice gentle enough that Michael felt comfortable reopening his eyes. "So you don't go for it. That's okay. Um... maybe you should stop spending so much time with him if it's making your feelings for him grow. You want to avoid that, right?"

Michael thought about it, and while it was probably a good idea, there was something that gave him pause. "I don't know much about his past, but there's something he's trying to distract himself from thinking of. He said that's why he applied to work for our family, because he saw the hours and thought he would be busy, but now he just has a lot of free time to think so...  I guess I kinda thought-"

"That you could be the one to take his mind off of it," she finished for him and Michael sighed. "You know that's not really helping you, right?"

"I know," Michael groaned, setting his coffee down on the table and then putting his head in his hands. "I know it's not, but it's not like he can just talk to my brothers, and I don't want him to be lonely. What if I start to avoid him and he gets so sick of his job that he quits?"

"Well, then this wouldn't really be an issue anymore," Daisy pointed out, and Michael raised his head with a frown. "So you're not really looking to solve the problem, right? That's what this is? You didn't come here asking for my help, you came here so I would tell you that you have no options but to keep spending time with him so you can fall in love with him and be miserable and hopeful but not blame yourself".

He thought about it for a moment, and then wondered how he was so transparent to her but hadn't even noticed it himself. "Oh".

"Yeah, oh. Wanna know what the best part about all this is?"

"What?"

"That I actually support you," she claimed, and Michael frowned slightly. "I think you keeping this up is a great idea, because I'm hoping that you're going to be so stupidly in love with him by the end of this that you're not going to give a damn about your family, who will continue to love you by the way, and finally let yourself be happy".