Strange huh? I sometimes feel as if I will explode

I have so much on my mind that I wanna do

My stories my comics and so many ideas I love but will never see the light of day I am writing to just get it out it'll not be nice reading it for you but at least I will let it go 

but there's one thing im afraid of..

it's that maybe people will like it and steal it everything I work on well isn't the most popular thing and it hurts.. I worked hours on that comic and I am not enjoying it anymore because it doesnt feel like people enjoy it.. I want my things to be popular so maybe people will invest time like i do idk maybe leave a comment or something.. but most of the time if it's all the same it won't help... no engagement is destroying my motivation but with no audience what am I expecting?

People follow me but don't show me that they like it.. people just want to roleplay with me and when it gets boring either they leave or I do... I want to make you happy but if I can't keep anything alive then why should I keep trying? even one of my best friends I couldn't keep close and i am so sorry flames. I am sorry that I am what I hate. I am part of the lack of interest... and it's tearing me apart.so many empty promises

what can i say? I ruined all trust? I- told so many things but I never followed it up.. 

Iam so sorry to anyone that was disappointed with me.. but I can't seem to be hyped anymore..

because i ain't as vibrant anymore.. I remember when I started my first rp... I waited and each minute i refreshed the page! I wanted to reply I wanted to read what they said and each time I look at the messages I havent answered I look at myself and I am seeing how I used to love it and it's it's ruined forever what can I say?

I was rambling a bit but whatever no need to delete it now is it?

the longest thing I've ever kept up was delilah109 's RP and I dont know how we even did it..

If only i could be that great...

If my life couldve been just a little different then who would I be and who am I now?