CHAPTER EIGHTEEN:

Bella's POV:

After Hermione disappeared off walking, Jacob and I wandered into his bedroom, where we flopped down on his bed. I was still tired from my England adventure, and was having trouble keeping my eyes open, much to Jake's amusement.

"So, didja have fun?" he asked, lazing backwards against the pillows.

"It was amazing," I grinned, "I mean, everything was magical." I hid my grin as I said that, enjoying the quip, even though Jacob had no idea about the double meaning behind it. "I got invited to a wedding." I add, when Jacob raises an eyebrow, signaling for more details.

"Neat! Who's wedding?" He asks.

"One of Hermione's best friend's older brother's." I say, and Jacob grins.

"That's a mouthful. So..." He said, after a few long moments, "wanna go ride the motorcycles?" I roll my eyes at him.

"I really don't think I'm allowed." I tell him, dryly. Jacob scowls slightly.

"Why? Because of the leech?" He asks, his face darkening.

"No, because of Charlie." I sigh, rolling my eyes. "He still hasn't forgiven you, for building the 'death trap' and allowing me to ride it." I tell him, using my fingers as quote marks. Jacob gives me a sheepish smile, and then his expression fades slightly, becoming darker.

"Bella," he begins, his voice oddly quiet, "you know that day, when I brought the bike over... I've been wanting to ask you something, but also... not wanting to." he spoke slowly, hesitantly, and I held still- a reaction to stress that I'd picked up from Edward. "Were you just being stubborn because you were mad at me, or were you really serious?" he whispered, as though he couldn't bear to say the words out loud.

"About what?" I whispered back, though I was sure I knew exactly what he meant. He glared at me, obviously thinking the same thing.

"You know. When you said it was none of my business... if- if he bit you." He cringed visibly at the end.

"Jake..." my throat felt swollen. I couldn't finish. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Were you serious?" He was trembling, just slightly. A warning sign. His eyes stayed closed, and I wondered how to put this most delicately. In the end, I went for simple.

"Yes." I whispered, and Jacob inhaled, slow and deep.

"I guess I knew that." He murmured, and I stared at his face, waiting for his eyes to open. "You know what this will mean?" He demanded, suddenly. "You do understand that, don't you? What will happen if they break the treaty?"

"We'll leave first," I said, in a small voice. His eyes flashed open, their black depths full of anger and pain.

"There wasn't a geographic limit to the treaty, Bella! Our great-grandfathers only agreed to keep the peace because the Cullens swore that they were different, that humans weren't in danger from them! They promised they would never kill or change anyone ever again! If they go back on their word, the treaty is meaningless, and they are no different than any other vampire! Once that's established, when we find them again-"

"But, Jake, didn't you break the treaty already?" I interrupt him, grasping at straws. "Wasn't part of it that you not tell people about the vampires? And you told me! So isn't the treaty sort of moot, anyway?" Jacob didn't like the reminder; the pain in his eyes hardened into animosity.

"Yeah, I broke the treaty- back before I believed any of it. And I'm sure they were informed of that." He flared, sourly at my forehead. "But it's not like that gives them a freebie or anything. There's no fault for a fault. They have only one option if they object to what I did- the same option we'll have when they break the treaty: to attack. To start the war."

He made it sound so inevitable and I shuddered. "God, Jake, it doesn't have to be that way!" I told him, angrily. His teeth ground together.

"It is that way." The silence after his declaration felt very loud.

"Will you never forgive me, Jacob?" I whispered. As soon as I said the words, I wished I hadn't. I didn't want to hear his answer.

"You won't be Bella anymore," he told me, eyes pained, "my friend won't exist. There won't be anyone to forgive."

"That sounds like a no, then." I whispered. We faced each other for an endless moment. "Is this goodbye then, Jake?" I asked, finally, and he blinked rapidly, his fierce expression melting into surprise

"Why? We still have a few years. Can't we be friends until we're out of time?"

"Years? No, Jake, not years." I shook my head, and laughed once without humor.

"Weeks is more accurate." I was not expecting his reaction. He was suddenly on his feet, and his whole body was quivering with anger. "Jake!" I started to say, but I fell silent when a loud growling sound escaped his throat.

I froze in place, too shocked to remember how to move. The shaking rolled through him, getting faster, until it looked like he was vibrating. His shape blurred...

And then Jacob gritted his teeth together, and the growling stopped. He squeezed his eyes tight shut in concentration; the quivering slowed until only his hands were shaking. And then he spoke. "Weeks," he said, in a flat, monotone voice. I couldn't respond- I was still frozen.

He opened his eyes, and they were beyond fury now. "He's going to change you into a filthy bloodsucker in just a few weeks?" Jacob hissed through his teeth. Too stunned to take offense at his words, I just nodded mutely. His face turned green under the russet skin.

"Jacob," I whispered, after a long minute of silence, "he's seventeen! And I get closer to nineteen every day. Besides, what's the point in waiting? He's all I want. What else can I do?" I'd mean that as a rhetorical question. His words cracked like snaps of a whip.

"Anything! Anything else! You'd be better of dead! I'd rather you were!"

I recoiled like he'd slapped me. It hurt worse than if he had. And then, as the pains shot through me, my own temper burst into flames. "Maybe you'll get lucky!" I shouted, as I lurched to my feet. "Maybe I'll crash on my way back!"

He didn't move as I passed him and I stormed from his bedroom, through the house, out to my truck. I was so angry and so upset, that I forgot that Hermione was with me, that she'd probably start freaking out when she realized I was gone. I just stomped down on the accelerator and sped out of La Push, as fast as the Chevy could make it.

I made it past the treaty line before I broke down into tears. I parked the car on the side of the road, brought my knees up to my chest, and started bawling. Misery, despair and anger rolled through me in unending waves, and I was crying so hard that I couldn't even breathe properly.

Edward appeared after less then ten minutes, quietly letting himself into the car. Like a child, I looked up at him through a veil of tears and opened my arms, silently asking him to hold me, to comfort me.

He didn't disappoint, pulling me into his arms, onto his lap, rocking me gently as he cradled me to him. As I ruined his ivory shirt with my tears, he hummed my lullaby, and whispered sweet nothings into my ear.

It took me nearly fifteen minutes for my tears to slow to the odd sniff. "Do you want to go back to my house?" Edward spoke up. I sniffed and nodded, wiping my eyes away with the back of my sleeve. Edward smiled, softly, and plucked a handkerchief from his pocket. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and accepted the offering.

"Of course you keep a hankie. It's not like you actually ever need to blow your nose." I mutter to him, before proceeding to do so, with a trumpet-like noise that made my cheeks flush bright red. Edward chuckled, lightly, and ran his fingers along my cheek.

"Do you want me to drive?" He asked, gently, and I nodded- my eyes felt too sore and swollen to concentrate on the road.

"Yeah, thanks." I said, softly. Edward slipped out from underneath me, over into the driver's seat. I buckled up my seat belt, as Edward turned the keys in the ignition, pulling a face at the roaring sound the engine made.

"You need a new car." He muttered. I mock-glared at him.

"I like my car." I told him. Edward rolled his eyes, as he pressed down on the accelerator.

We drove back to the Cullen residence- a.k.a. mansion, and Edward led the way up to his room. We didn't run into anyone else on the way, something for which I was relieved. When we were in his room, we sat on his couch, and I slumped against him, the happier emotions that had come with our light banter fading.

"Bella... what happened?" Edward asked, gently. I looked down at my hands as my breath caught in my throat.

"I thought..." I hesitated and tried swallowing, the lump in my throat making it hard to speak, "I thought Jake would have realized... I didn't think it would surprise him." Edward waited, patiently, as I angrily wiped away the tears that had sprung to my eyes. "He wasn't expecting... that it was so soon."

"Ah." Edward said, quietly.

"He said he'd rather see me dead!" My voice broke at the last word. Edward was too still for a moment, controlling whatever reaction he didn't want me to see. Then he pulled me gently to his chest.

"I'm so sorry." He murmured, resting his cheek on my hair. We stayed like that for a long, long moment, before someone knocked lightly on the door. Edward frowned.

"Alice?" he asked, and the pixie-vampire stuck her head in.

"Hi Bella," she smiled, her face carefully hiding any signs that she might have heard our conversation. "I was just wondering if Hermione was at your place."

I instantly paled.

"Oh crap!" I exclaimed, sitting bolt upright, cursing to myself internally.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked, and I groaned.

"I left Hermione at the rez." I mumbled, embarrassed and angry at myself, "god, she's going to be freaking out! And she doesn't have a phone number! How am I supposed to contact her? I have to drive back and get her... but I don't know where she is! God, if she sees Jake she's going to kill him!" I fret, out loud, and Edward gently pulls my hands away from my face.

"Why don't you ring the Black family residence," he suggests, "Billy might know where to find her."

"Okay, okay," I nod, and Edward pulls his cellphone out of his pocket and hands it to me. I press the buttons, dialling Jake's home number with trembling fingers- if he's the one who picks up the phone, I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk.

It rings for nearly a minute before a gruff voice answers. "Billy Black speaking." Relief washes through me.

"Billy... um, it's Bella. Is Hermione there?" I ask, carefully controlling my voice, keeping it calm and collected, even when I'm feeling the complete and utter opposite. I wonder how much of the conversation between Jake and me Billy heard- it's a small house, after all.

"She's right here, let me get her for you." Billy says, his voice now as carefully blank as mine. Seconds later it's Hermione's voice washing over the phone.

"Bella?" she demands, her British accent thicker in her panic.

"Hey." I say, feeling emotion wash through me. God, I feel like such a crappy sister.

"Oh god Bella, what happened?" She demanded. I swallow, thickly.

"Jacob said... he said..." Anything! Anything else! You'd be better of dead! I'd rather you were! I burst into tears before I can finish my sentence and hold the phone away from me, silently requesting for someone else to talk to her. Alice, quicker then lightning, grabs it.

"Hi Hermione, Bella's safe." Alice tells my sister, and a wave of gratitude for the small vampire washes over me. "Edward got her after she crossed the treaty line and brought her back to our place." Alice is silent for a few seconds as Hermione responds, and then she speaks up again.

"Do you need a lift? I've already rung Charlie and told him that you're helping me with my homework, and Bella came along for the ride. He's fine with it." More gratitude- in my somewhat emotional state, I'd forgotten that I was grounded.

"Sure!" Alice chirps happily, over the phone line, "bye Hermione!"

She hangs up and hands the phone back to Edward. "Don't worry, Bella, she's calmed down and I'm going to pick her up from the treaty line." Alice answers my unspoken question.

"Thanks Alice." I sigh, slumping back into Edward again, using the balled up handkerchief he gave me before to wipe my eyes dry. Alice vanishes from the room, a skip to her step, and Edward smiles fondly after her. "She really loves Hermione, doesn't she?" I say, and Edward chuckles, lowly.

"That she does." He agrees, before hesitating. "Are you... are you okay?" He asks. I sigh, heavily.

"No," I admit, "He was my best friend... he is my best friend. I just- I don't want to lose him, Edward." Edward kisses me, gently.

"I'm sorry Bella." He says, voice pained. I close my eyes against the freshest wave of tears.

"It's not you fault. I've made my choice." I tell him, my voice strong. "I want to be with you. I love you." And I may not have Jacob anymore, but I'll always have the memories.