Five Years Ago

I woke up to the soft crackle of embers in the hearth, the dying fire casting a gentle warmth against the chill morning air. I stirred, feeling the comforting weight of a cotton blanket draped over me. The memories of the night before were hazy, but the ache in my muscles and the dampness in my hair were undeniable reminders of my ordeal.

Panic set in immediately as I realized I was back in my human form. The events of the previous night flooded back with startling clarity.

I bolted upright on the couch, my eyes darting around the cabin. The soft crackle of the fire and the faint scent of pinewood filled the air, grounding me amidst my rising panic.

The room was dimly lit by the dying fire, casting flickering shadows on the rustic wooden walls as a low pink glow from outside indicated the day was about to break.

"Shit! Sebastian's going to kill me," I gasped through my teeth, my heart racing with anxiety.

I hadn't made it back home before dawn, and Sebastian would undoubtedly be furious with me once he found me missing. The thought of his anger sent a shiver down my spine.

But I'd felt so tired after my fall in the river, and the warmth and safety I found curled up next to the rogue wolf had lulled me into a deep sleep. I'd lost track of time entirely, the exhaustion overpowering my fear of Sebastian's anger.

I scrambled to my feet, the blanket slipping off my hips as I stood. Panic set in as I realized there was nowhere I could go in my current naked state. My eyes darted around the cabin, searching for anything I could use to cover myself. I couldn't go outside draped in a blanket in the middle of October; it was freezing.

Usually, during the full moon, there was a meeting point or a location in the woods—a house or a cabin stocked with supplies, food, water, cell phones, and clothes. A place in the woods the pack could return to before reverting back to their human form.

The cabin was too small and old to be a pack supply house. However, it was lived in and well-maintained, and had a rustic charm to it. It was clear this place was supplied for one, maybe two wolves at most. The thought brought a small measure of comfort.

That's when I felt a pang of loneliness, realizing the Rogue Wolf was gone. His presence had been a strange comfort, and without him, the cabin felt empty. I wasn't even sure if he'd been real. The whole night felt like a dream.

Wrapping the blanket tighter around my bare waist, I explored the cabin in search of clothes. The floorboards creaked softly beneath my feet as I moved.

The interior was a blend of old and modern—a rustic wooden dining table paired with newer, comfortable chairs, an old-fashioned stone fireplace with a stack of freshly chopped wood beside it, and a small kitchen area with modern appliances.

But the cabin lacked a personal touch. There were no pictures or ornaments and the place was coated in dust.

That's when I noticed the note, neatly folded and placed on the center of the dining table with my name on it.

I picked it up and read it.

Nate,

I can't imagine how confused you must feel right now. But rest assured that you're safe with me, and I'll explain everything once I return. I've run out to meet with a friend and will be gone for a couple of hours. There is hot water for a shower, and spare clothes in the bedroom. Please, I beg of you, whatever you do, don't go back to Sebastian.

He didn't leave a name. But that wasn't what concerned me the most. The note was both reassuring and troubling. Why was it so important to stay away from Sebastian? What did the Rogue Wolf know that I didn't? And how did he know Sebastian?

But despite the not knowing him, I felt a strange sense of trust toward the Rogue Wolf. A connection that I couldn't quite explain throbbed within my heart, pulsing with an inexplicable sense of belonging. There was something about him that made me want to believe in his good intentions, something that resonated deep within me.

I trusted him.

Deciding to heed the Rogue Wolf's advice, I placed the note down and made my way to the bathroom.

***

The hot water felt heavenly against my skin, washing away the remnants of last night's ordeal. The mud pooled at my feet, swirling down the drain along with any lingering doubts I had about the Rogue Wolf.

"Stay with him."

I gasped, my palm slapping against the tiled wall for support as a warm jolt shot through my heart. Was that really my wolf who had spoken, or had I imagined it?

It was difficult to know. It had been months since I last felt a connection to him; I'd forgotten what his presence felt like, what his voice sounded like.

I stopped, listening intently, straining to feel for him within my beating heart. But all I could hear was the water falling against my back, and all I could feel was the cold, empty void in my soul.

"Just my imagination."

Sadness overwhelmed me as I turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel around myself. A deep sense of isolation seeped into my bones. I missed the presence of my wolf especially during the full moon.

And as I dried my hair with a towel, I tried to process everything that had happened. Running from the mansion, meeting the rouge wolf in the forest, the fall into the river—it all seemed like a surreal dream.

I rummaged through the bedroom and found a fresh set of clothes in the armoire—simple jeans and a shirt that were a bit large but would do just fine.

I lifted the black t-shirt to my face and inhaled deeply, the scent of the Rogue Wolf filling my senses. His earthy aroma was familiar, evoking a sense of comfort and safety that warmed me from within.

I smiled, feeling a strange connection to him through the simple act of breathing in his scent. It was soothing, grounding me in a way I hadn't felt in a long time.

Once dressed, I sat by the fire, staring into the embers as I debated my next move. I could try to make it back to the mansion before Sebastian returned with the pack, but the mere thought of facing Sebastian's wrath sent a shiver down my spine.

On the other hand, staying put and waiting for the Rogue Wolf seemed equally daunting, yet somehow, it felt right. A strange sense of trust and curiosity urged me to stay.

Why had the Rogue Wolf gone to such lengths to draw me away from the mansion? What did he know that I didn't?

Taking a deep breath, I decided to stay. I would wait for the Rogue Wolf to return. I couldn't go back to the mansion without knowing who he was first. I needed answers and the strange connection I felt towards him anchored me to this place.

With that decision made, I stoked the fire, relighting the still hot embers and throwing more kindling and logs on top. I settled into the couch, snuggling deep into the soft cushions, holding one tightly against my chest.

For the first time in a long while, I felt comfortable, like I was back at home—my real home in Havenwood, not the mansion. A frown creased my brow as doubt clouded my thoughts. Since arriving at the mansion, I'd been on edge, every step shadowed by the constant watchful eye of Sebastian.

The warmth of the fire provided some comfort, calming my racing thoughts as I waited for the Rogue Wolf's return. The anticipation of meeting his human form sent a flutter of excitement through my nerves—another feeling I realized I never had with Sebastian.

What did he look like?

Was he handsome?

Was he tall or short?

What's was his personality like?

But more importantly... was he kind?

To occupy my mind, I explored the small cabin, my mind racing with thoughts of the Rogue Wolf, smiling at the memory of his floppy ear that made him look far less intimidating.

Eventually, I found myself back in the bedroom. The room was simple, with a sturdy wooden bed covered in a thick quilt and a wooden desk in the corner, cluttered with what looked like sketching paper.

As I unscrolled one of the parchments, my eyes widened at the sight of a detailed graphite drawing. An intimate sketch of a male leisurely reclined against the bed, naked, with one leg raised to modestly hide his crotch.

His left hand ran through his long hair, obscuring the top half of his face in a gesture that seemed shy. But the wide smile on his lips spoke volumes about how he truly felt towards the artist.

It was inviting, teasing almost, a silent challenge that drew me in and made my heart flutter with a mix of curiosity and excitement.

Was this him? Was this the Rogue Wolf's human form?

My fingers traced over the male's muscular torso, feeling the precision and detail the artist had poured into each line. It was as if every stroke held a piece of the artist's soul, their emotions intertwined with the graphite.

The artist truly loved the man in this drawing. The thought saddened me. The Rogue Wolf was taken.

It was evident in the way every curve and shadow was carefully rendered, capturing not just the physical form but the essence of their connection. The depth of their bond, the tenderness, and passion. It all resonated through the paper, stirring something deep within me.

In that moment, I felt something profound, a heaviness in my heart, an intimacy that made me feel as though I was looking through the eyes of the artist and their lover.

I stared at the sketch for what felt like an eternity, until a water droplet splotched onto the paper, smudging the graphite. I tentatively reached up and felt the tears on my cheeks.

I was crying.

A confused chuckle escaped my lips. I didn't understand why I was crying or what this tight, gnawing feeling in my chest was. It felt as if something within me was desperately trying to break free, as if something wasn't right.

A vision flashed within my eyes, images of myself kissing the man—the Rogue Wolf—in this drawing and rolling together within the sheets. Him pinning me down on the bed, his warm lips on my neck, his hands squeezing my torso. The sensation of him inside me. His amber eyes gazing down at me with affection and adoration as he declared his undying love and then made love to me.

"Remember."

I gasped, dropping the parchment back onto the desk as I was jolted back to reality. What the hell was that? I stepped away from the desk, looking around the room for the source of the voice but finding no one.

I roughly dried the tears from my eyes and rubbed my face, inhaling deeply, trying to calm myself. My heart pounded in my chest, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something significant had just been revealed, something buried deep within me.

My chest heaved, my emotions spiraling out of control. I didn't like this feeling of not knowing, of not understanding these foreign feelings I had for the Rogue Wolf over a sketch.

Yet, something about it felt so familiar, so uncanny, yet so real. It unsettled me deeply. A sickness churned in my stomach, and my heart felt as though it was grieving over a great loss.

Fear gripped me, a fear so intense that the thought of meeting the Rogue Wolf now terrified me.

"What am I doing?" I muttered, shaking my head as nerves got the best of me. "I can't stay here."

I couldn't breathe and the walls seemed to close in around me. I bolted outside, bursting through the front door.

I ran, not stopping to look back, and made my way back into the woods. The thick fir branches scratched at my skin as I pushed through, following the sound of the gushing river. I ran upstream, letting the water guide me back toward the mansion.

But I skidded to a halt, my breath coming in ragged gasps. I gulped, my heart pounding with nerves when a gut feeling told me not to return to the mansion to go back to the cabin.

"Nathaniel!"

I jolted, my heart leaping into my throat as Sebastian stormed out from a thicket of large bushes.

"Sebastian!"

Fear coiled within my chest when his obsidian eyes blazed with anger. His imposing dark figure shadowed over me, his presence intimidating.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Sebastian's voice was a low growl, filled with fury. "I told you not to leave the estate without my permission!"

I felt an overwhelming malice emanating from Sebastian, a dark aura that made my skin crawl. The anger in his eyes was unlike anything I had seen before. I'd known Sebastian to be strict and controlling, but this was different. This was dangerous.

"I—" Nate began, his voice trembling. "I needed to get out of the mansion."

Sebastian's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched tightly.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?" he barked. "You could have been hurt! Did you even take my feelings into consideration when you decided to run off?!"

I backed up, my pulse hammering in my ears. "Sebastian, I—"

"I have been searching for you all night. And I can't track your scent when you take nightmoss," Sebastian cut me off, advancing toward me.

Fear paralyzed me as I pressed myself against a tree trunk as Sebastian towered over me. I had seen Sebastian angry before, but never like this. The air seemed to thicken, and I could barely breathe.

"Sebastian," my voice was shaking. "I just... I needed space to run."

Sebastian's eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched tightly as he leaned forward until his nose was pressed against my neck. He inhaled sharply, his eyes sharpening to thin slits.

"You were with someone?"

My heart stopped.

"Nothing happened."

"You were with another wolf." His voice was harsh and unyielding, his eyes shining with betrayal. "I can smell his scent all over you!"

"Nothing happened." My lips trembled, betraying my fear.

Yet, guilt surged through me as visions of myself and the Rogue Wolf in bed together came rushing back. But nothing happened.

Nothing. Happened.

"The Novaks attacked our borders coming for you last night. I lost many wolves protecting you, and you so easily betray my trust for an outsider!"

"Wolves died?" I swallowed hard, fear mingling with my voice as Sebastian nodded.

"Yes!"

I had no idea the Novaks attacked last night. I hadn't sensed anything. Oh, Lunar Goddess, if the Rogue Wolf hadn't found me, I could have been found by a Novak.

"His stench." Sebastian sniffed sharply, and a look of disgust crossed his face. "It's vile."

I shuddered, wanting nothing more than to strip off my clothes and take another shower. I needed to get the Rogue Wolf's scent off me. I started rubbing my arms, hoping to rid myself of his scent.

"I'm sorry." My voice trembled. I had to make this right. I couldn't leave Sebastian, not after everything he'd done for me, to protect me from the Novaks.

"Nothing happened. I met him by accident. You have to believe me. I just wanted space to run, so I left without your permission. I promise I won't leave the mansion again. I'll do anything you want to make it right. I'm sorry."

Sebastian took another step closer, his eyebrows relaxing into a softened expression.

"I know you're sorry." He stroked his hand across my cheek, the touch both comforting and possessive. "But you've put yourself and the pack at risk. You can't just run off whenever you feel like it. You're part of my pack, and that means following my rules, which includes punishment for disobeying your alpha's orders."

I nodded in understanding.

"I'm s–"

He smacked me. Hard and fast across the face. The force of the blow sent me stumbling. Pain shooting through my cheek. I looked up at Sebastian, shock and betrayal mingling with the pain etched across my face.

Sebastian hit me.

But Sebastian didn't hit me. He wouldn't do that. I blinked at him, shocked, clutching my cheek as John's black eye came to mind. Swallowing nervously, I tried to process what had just happened.

My heart pounded as I regained my composure, gasping as adrenaline rushed through me. A primal instinct gripped at my core, urging me to lash back.

I had to bite back the growl curling in my throat, and clenched my hands tightly behind my back, hiding my sharpened claws. My jaw tensed, my mouth clamping shut into a thin line as I glared at Sebastian with contempt.

"Don't ever hit me again." My voice was a low, dark growl.

For a moment, Sebastian looked taken aback before his gaze narrowed again.

"You think you're so tough, don't you?" Sebastian laughed, mocking me. "But you're only strong because I made you strong. I can easily turn you back into that pathetic wolf I met at the club. From now on you will do as you're told." He gripped my chin, and I flinched back. "Because I can't lose you, not with your power."

I could feel my body trembling, not in fear, but in disbelief and anger. I'd never felt this humiliated in my life. But what's worse was that John warned me, my wolf warned me. Even the Rogue Wolf in his letter had warned me. And I, like a fool, had ignored them.

I was so fearful of the foreign feelings I had for the Rogue Wolf that I'd run off without thinking about the consequences of seeing Sebastian again. I shouldn't have left the cabin.

"From now on, you will obey my every command," his tone was cruel and harsh.

I felt the power of the alpha's voice wash over me, a compulsion so strong it was almost physical.

I had never felt more trapped, more cornered in my life. My anger turned to fear that gripped at my heart, leaving me cold and trembling.

"Let's go!" Sebastian ordered, his voice offering no room for argument. "We're going back. Now!"

I nodded weakly, unable to find my voice. I gazed around the woods one last time and I hoped and prayed that the Rogue Wolf would find me once again. But he didn't come.

Tears of frustration and helplessness welled up in my eyes as I followed Sebastian. My body moved against my will, my mind screaming in protest but unable to resist.

"You're never leaving me again!" Sebastian ordered. "Do you understand me?"

I nodded and everything faded into the background as the alpha's command took hold.

I was never going to leave him.