Rylan POV

I feel worried so much. I know something bad will happen soon. Why it must happen now? Why the fates never leave me alone? I am tired with all this bullshit. I just wanted the piece of peaceful life until I pass away. Is it my wish was too much to grant?

"Alpha, Kai's mate is here." My ear perk up when one of the warriors. The warrior notices me, and whispering to Albert. My feeling was niggling with the suffocated pain. It is like my lung lack of air. The weird purplish scratch mark also appeared on my skin.

"What is going on?" I ask once the warrior disappeared behind the oak door. "Have they found my husband and son?" Albert sighed and averted his eye from me.

"I want you to stay calm no matter what I'm going to tell you." Albert plops down into his leather chair while staring into me.

"Damn it! What is actually going on? Have they found them or not?" I walked to his desk. He sharply stares me.

"Listen it calmly, Ry. They have found Alfred and Allen... but it didn't mean they're back without any scratched. The truth was Alfred in the brink of dead door. They have sent him into the operation room. For Allen, we still could not determine how much damage he have taken. His body had healed all the tortured effect." My body was shaking with the news.

No! This is a lie, right? My body swayed, but luckily, Albert saves me from fall down. Albert's eye was registered with pain too. His eyes were glistering like a glass. Whom not when the victim is he own brother. My world seems shattered by the news.

"I need to meet them now. I want to see their condition." I can feel the panic attack surging inside me. The worst had happened. The worst that I pray to avoid.

"Calm down, Ry. Calm down, or I wouldn't let you go there." Albert's voice filled with the authority that making there is not any room to argue back.

Why the entire bad things always revolve around me? What is my sin that I need to shoulder all this bad karma? I slowly trot behind Albert, tried my best to hide all the turmoil feeling I restore inside. I know Albert never back off once he is giving any rules or orders.

The walk feels like a thousand years. I wished I can walk faster, but the feeling I barely can contain will expose if I take the lead. The pack member's eyes staring into me with sympathizing. My heart pound willfully as we are close to the door where they have place Allen.

My hand shaking badly as I pull the doorknob, Albert nods as a signal for me to open it. He retreats to another room where my husband supposed to be in. I slowly pull the handle as it slowly reveals a small curling body on white bed. I run fast to his side.

I pull down the white sheet to reveal the kid with tears stained face. He flinched and pulled away when I try to touch him. The rejected make my heart race with worry. What they have done to him? He is just a small boy. Why they are so heartless to damage him?

"No... go away." He scream filled the room. His attitude as if he still had been trapped in some nightmare.

"Baby, it is me, your papa." Hoping the kid will snap from his bad dream. My heart swells with a scare. What have they done to reduce him to this? The light of mischievous and happy good lucky boy was missing from his eyes. They were replaced by a scared and traumatic emotion.

I tried to reach him again. And, he retreats again until his back was trapped in between the bedpost and me. "Baby, this is me, your papa. You are safe now. " He is wails and struggling from my embrace.

His screamed have alerted the pack doctor who burst into the room. The doctor looks worried as he analysed the situation. I rock the wailing Allen in my chest and sing his favourite song until his stop crying. What left then is a small whimper as his little finger fists my hair.

At least he starts returning my hugs. I still rocking our body together under the doctor observed eyes. "Daddy... they hurt daddy. This is all my fault." His word almost makes my heart stop its track.

"Shhh, baby, everything is okay now." I repeatedly say the phrase to coo his turbulent emotions. Those fucking rogues should be grateful that I'm not having any supernatural power. If not I'll become their worst nightmare everyday.

Allen's hand goes limp after a few minutes. The doctor was rushing to my side, checking Allen's pulse. From doctor report, Allen had been traumatized by the incident. Earlier, he refuses anybody from touching his body. The worst think coming into my mind. Have they... rape him?

The rape case is common to anyone whom have been caught by the rogue. The will rape the victim that will lead the person lose his mind, either commit the suicide or become walking corpse. The doctor still not sure what it is going on in Allen mind because he only screaming whenever he spots an adult.

Allen refuse side had forced the medic team given him a sedative to put him sleep. However, the sedative effect could not hold Allen too long because the shifted burn the drug quickly. That explained why he already woke up when I entered the room.

I put the sleeping kid in the bed. The doctor attached the IV drip again. He also put a mild sedative into it to let Allen resting without any bad dream anymore. I decided to go to Alfred side when the warrior ensure me that he would inform me immediately once Allen wake up.

My heart is leaping in bad ways as I leave Allen's room. I reached there and notice Miranda was wailing so hard. What exactly happens in there? I open the door and Miranda straight hug me. All the eyes on me now. My eyes scrutinize one person to another person whom instantly averts their eyes in another direction.

I watched over their shoulder, entangled Miranda from my body. My mind screams in horror as my eye latched upon the person on the other side of the mirror. No! It can't be happening. This is some jokes right. There is no way Alfred whom laying there.

I lean on the glass window watching my beloved struggling for the life. "No..." Finally, I screamed out when I couldn't contain the pain anymore. I cried my heart out upon watching Alfred has reduced to the horrible state. It is all my fault. If I never enter their life, Alfred wouldn't face this state.

That is why Allen looks so terribly fear upon seeing us. He is a trauma because his father state. Damn it! I slowly plop onto the cold white tiles, crying endlessly. Miranda hugs me again, also crying in the most heart wrenching. I never see this strong woman cry before.

"I'm sorry, mother.... Sorry..." our cried blended enough to make others follow suit our course in silent or cry out.

"Two person per one session." The doctor announces rob our attention. Miranda and Robert quickly get into the room first.

I watch Miranda caress Alfred's face in motherly way. Robert finally broke into silent tears. My existence itself has proof that I only bring the misfortune to people dear to me.

"Don't beat yourself, Ry. It is not your fault or Allen. Alfred just had done what a common parent will do to protect their family. And, I bet he will do the same stunt again and again to protect those precious person in his life. So, don't let your tears or guilty insult him anymore, Ry. He need you, he need his family to support him psychically and mentally. You know what its miracle enough when he can last this long." Albert voice sound so hoarse and broken.

"So, please take care of my brother as you always did." He pats my shoulder lead their youngest sister going inside after Miranda and Robert come out. I feel shame to watch them.

"Take care... Alfred." Miranda said as her husband taking her back home. I only can nods.

Lastly, I muster the courage and stepped inside the moment Albert coming out with his sister. I quickly walked to Alfred's bed. The steady heart beeping filled the room. I caress his pale face as a stray tear dropped on his face. I kiss his lips, the lips that always smile even for stupid stuff I did. He had lost both legs and hands but it never reduces my love for him.

"Thank you very much my dearest husband, thank you for saving our son. You are our hero. The brave hero..." I couldn't finish the sentence when the feeling was too overwhelming. "You must fight to keep alive. I need you, Allen need you. We need you."

I plopped down on the nearest chair, still watching and whispering to him all the courageous words I could think. I trace the lost place; there will never warm arms to hold Allen or me in the future. However, I know we are family, so we will compensate his lost with all the love we will shower on him.

However, no matter how much I have waited for him, he never answers me. The doctor said the percentage for him continue alive is very low. It depends on his strength and mentality. I never leave him even for a second. The room have become my second home for two weeks now. Allen also refused to leave this room.

For Allen, this incident robs his cheerful attitude. He had been insomnia for the first week, but now starts to fall back asleep. When he falls asleep, it is just for a couple of hours and he would scream in fear. He either wears the blank emotion or cry when no one around here. He also have lost an appetite. And, will puke when he spots the foods or after eaten it. The condition have made he lost weight. I need to force him to eat something rather than let him hunger himself.

The room had been equipped with an additional bed. From the most friendlier and talkative, he becomes quietness and distant. He barely speaks to me and zero to other people. His condition makes me dead worry.

The doctor advises me to bring Allen seeing the therapy expert. I will do once Alfred opens his eyes. I can't leave him alone here. Allen will stare to blank space or mindlessly caress Alfred. He so stubbornly refuses to co-operate with whomever questioned him.

I wonder why Ivan never turns up here yet. The incident news supposedly gotten to his side considering the one whom brought Allen and Alfred was his cousin's mate. Have he abandoned us for good this time? Even so, he should appear here at least for his son sake.

He never calls or sends word to know about Allen's condition. Is he the man who desperately wanting us back? No! He has not qualified at all. He should not bring our problem as an excuse to avoid his son too. The incident has proof that my choice was correct. He only wanted me because I am his mate and to complete himself.

That selfish bastard really can win all the entertainment trophies as the best actor. I am glad I didn't fall on his pretty trick again. The rage and hatred begin to swirl around me again. Why he just stayed in his pack without caring about the outside? Each time I accompany Alfred on behalf of Albert, he always missing. There is a ton of an excuse to justify his absence.

There I can understand when Alfred said the tiniest fault by small packs has a great effect, but if it is a big pack everyone just turn a blind eye. I let the frustrated sighed as I wipe off the distress issues from my mind.

"Daddy, please wake up. I miss you... I'm sorry..." A small whimper grabs my attention. I turn to look Allen and saw he was crying beside the coma Alfred.

"If I never exist, daddy wouldn't hurt, right?" The word slashed my heart but really mean something.

As I thought, if we never appeared in his life, Alfred wouldn't suffer a permanent disability. If I heed Ralph warned, we can avoid this catastrophe. It all happened because my stupidity and egoist. To depend my egoist I hurt other people. If I back to Ivan, both of precious persons to me wouldn't experience this traumatic incident.

My knee buckles when the realization washed over me. This is because my impotent and futile revenge. I had danger everyone around me as the rogue will come to take my son again. What should I do now? No! This isn't the time to play with what 'if'. What an important now is for Alfred to wake from the coma.

I stood there watching my son sniffling on Alfred's chest like a lost boy. Actually, I didn't know how to console my own son when my heart also was in deep pain. The anger, confuse, sad, etc. were my best friend at the moment.

Suddenly, I hear a groan from Alfred immobilize body. The groans successfully stop the crying Allen. We patiently are waiting for Alfred to open his eyes. His brow knits before him slowly open his eyes. The eyes had become dull as he blinks it a few times. I immediately press the emergency button to alert the doctor.

"Thank you for coming back to us, love." I hug him. He flinches and resists my hug. "What's wrong, Love? It's me, Rylan." Have he had the same symptom as Allen. He also stares Allen as if this is the first time he ever meet him.

"Who...are you?" He said in a hoarse voice. "Where are my parents? What happened to both my arms and legs?" he suddenly knocks his head on the bedpost. I take his resist to mine, embrace him for dear life.

The doctor was coming along with his family. He immediately makes a check up on Alfred as his order us to get out from the room. The anxiety overwhelming us while waiting the doctor being done with checking up.

"Why you look so sad, son? You supposed to happy because he finally woke up." All the eyes curiously watched me.

"He didn't recognize me.... us..." As I slump down to the floor with Allen in my arms.

"Maybe he still confused after a long sleep." Albert crouches down and pats my shoulder.

"What if he really forgets Allen and me? What should I do?" I feel a hollow in my heart. He denied my existence.

The doctor come with a grieving look; "Sorry Alpha, it seems Alfred had a partial memory loss. He can't recollect a past few years memories that include Rylan and Allen. And, I afraid he wouldn't last too long either."

"Impossible! You said before that he had out from the danger zone. How came his health suddenly turns to the worst?" I asked him.

"Sorry Rylan, as I mentioned that was only an assumption. The real result when he woke up. After running a few tests, I just now noticed that his wolf already dead... nothing could save him anymore. And, his memory stuck on the day where his mate died. I'm sorry..." He let out a heavy sighed.

"Couldn't we do anything to avoid it? Please doctor, I'll do anything as long as you save him." Miranda sobbed into his husband's chest.

"I afraid no, ma'am. It still miracle that he can last until now after losing his mate. You can meet him now, but please don't put unnecessary pressure to him. That will accelerate him to the dead." After that, the doctor leaves us.

Alfred's family is rushing into the room where I mindlessly carried my son behind them. Don't know what to do or how to face him now. I see how his mother and father touching his cheeks and he repeatedly mentioned his dead mate name.

"Who's that person?" I face him again when I feel all the eyes on me.

"Hmm, Alfred baby, that man is your husband and son. Do you still not recognize them? You had been married to him over five years." I saw Alfred sharply stare at me. He frowned as if tried to remember it.

I run to his side when I notice he wants to knock his head again. "Love, don't force yourself to remember me yet. You can take everything slowly and slowly. We will patiently waiting you back, love." I swipe his stray strand of hair from his face.

"If I married to you, that means I'd cheated on my own mate." He questioned us back. Albert come closer and kisses his brother's forehead.

"Alfred, listen to me carefully, Max already left us for almost ten years. You weren't cheating on him. You fell in love with Rylan and married him." I shook my head to Albert not to pressing the matter further. Alfred need time to retrieve his loss memory.

"Daddy, please forgive me. If I weren't being bad boy you wouldn't lose your arms and legs." Allen was wailing in my arms.

"Come here boy..." I glad that he didn't reject our son. I put Allen beside him, Allen is immediately hugs his daddy. I send a thankful smile as his family decides to give us a room to re-unite.

After a long silence, Alfred asked me about our past. I tried as simply as I can without leaving any important information when telling the story about us. I hope that the story can be the hint for him to remember us back. To come back to us again.

"Why wouldn't you forgive your mate? You are destined to belong to him. And, we aren't a perfect human too. We always bound to make a mistake as we alive. Can't you just forgive him?" I shocked by his word. The old him always feeling sad and insecurities when topic popped up. He scared to lose me. But now, he suggest me to getting back to Ivan and forgive all his mistakes.

Allen had fallen asleep beside him. "I'm useless now. I can't provide you anything but will become your burden if you really are my husband. And, my time is near expiry right now. I'd lost my wolf. He had return to our mate, in waiting me to join them too soon."

He is longing when telling me. "... Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Mmm... I couldn't remember why I'd chosen you when I'd swear to never be with anybody else on the day Max left us."

"It's okay, Lo.... Alfred. The person I married not a fake person. So, I know whatever you told is out of your sincere heart." I brushed Allen thick hair to soothing my own bleeding heart.

"Thank you, Rylan. I miss him. I should have confronted and force him to tell the truth when he keep avoiding me. I should not follow the bruise egoist. At least, we can taste a little bit life as a mate. Oh, my parents keep telling us the amazing feeling when we meet our mates. I am eagerly waiting until I reach the age but then everything was too late. Max died in rogue attacked..." I wipe off the tears that had wet his cheeks.

He continues speaking about his dead mate. About their childhood age and all the thing that related to that person. My heart burned with jealousy. Feeling like he just ignores my presence as he lost in his past memory. At the same times, I feel like totally been abandoned.

However, I can say I quite proud of myself did not leak any of tears and keep putting a smile through his story. When he started yawning, I blanket his body and dim the light. Allen can't sleep in the dark. My heart start crumbles down. I can't blame him, nor his dead mate. That is their natural feeling.

"Good Night... mmm... Rylan." He said while closing his eyes.

"Good night, Alfred." I decide to use his name when he feels uncomfortable when I address him as a love.

After that, I run to the bathroom the second his breathe become even. I cried out my heart once I was under the shower. Is this what Ivan had tasted when I reject him? Is this karma because I merciless shove Ivan's hand? On the other hand, is this the punishment because I had cheated behind Alfred? I mean in mind because I haven't successfully written off Ivan form in it yet.

I don't know. I don't want to know. Why it happened to me? Why? I laid under the rain shower, watching the drops fall in my face, and wetting my body. I feel restless, I feel tired. I feel so damn exhausted mind and body.

"Babe, are you trying to catch a cold? Laying onto the freezing tiles with rain shower on." A familiar and warm voice said earns a smile on my face.

I put down my arm that covering my eyes. My smile flattened when the person I expect to be was someone else. Ivan close the shower, pull me up as his hand quickly pull off the wet shirt and pants. Strangely, I didn't feel any hate nor shame when he has done it.

He grabs the clean towel from the shelf. I let him to dry and wrapping another clean towel around my waist. My mouth open and close in order to thank him, but not any sound out. He smiles as if he can understand me.

Then I feel my feet in the air. Ivan had carried me in bridal style. The bruised heart of mine didn't have any strength to protest him. It feels so right, so full, and whole when I was in his embrace. His action cured and glued my breaking heart. I snuggle further into his toned chest. Wanted to savor all the peace feeling his vibe was giving.

He put me onto the soft bed, tuck me under the thick blanket as he dims the light. I grab his hand before he left me. "Don't leave me alone. Please..."

He just smiles and sit near me, slowly stroke my hair. I snuggle close and wrap my arms around his waist when he decides to lay beside me.

"I feel like a lucky man in this world having you as my mate, Munchkin. If I can turn the past, I'll definitely take you as mine the moment our eyes meet. But, I'm so stupid letting you go. And, you know I'll forever wait for you back to my side no matter how long it takes." He kissed my hand.

Before I can answer the warm feeling, replace by the cold. I look over Ivan, watching Ivan body slowly faded off but the smile still on his face. My finger traces the warmer on the bed sheet but strangely, it feels weird. I observe the left side where Ivan occupied a few minutes ago. What greets me was the pool of blood that shape like the person whom just left me.

"Noooo!" I screamed in horror.

"Wake up, papa." Allen voice was booming close to my ear. Allen and Alfred watched me with the questioned look.

"You faint in the shower and had a high fever last night. Allen found you in the shower with the shower on. He called the doctor when you didn't wake up." Allen wipes off the tears from my cheeks.

"Thank you, baby boy." I said to him. He hugs me as a replied. Therefore, I merely am having a dreamed about that person. I feel light in heart knowing that person still there safe and sound. But, did he really be there for sure? What the pools of blood mean in the end? Have he...? No, I mean, if something goes wrong, we already hear the news, right?

A/N

Hey guys, thank you very much for continuing to support the story. If the chapter please you, kindly leave a comment and vote. And, I decide to replace the book cover create by Pager. He is an awesome cover maker. Btw, enjoy the sound and the anime is my favorite one.  Love TakanoXRitsu...