IVAN POV

"Where is the pack of ice?" I shout to one of the omega who happens to pass my eyes. He stiff immediately.

"Already... in the... bathtub." The omega lowers his head while answering my question.

Shit! The boiling heat starts again. I feel the enrage fire lit inside. The pain sometimes makes me sleep in the cold water. The excruciating pain I have kept feel since four years ago. Every day I need to bath in cold ice water.

What truly happen to my own body? Cedric refused to answer my question, simply ignore me the day we found out the death of our true mate. He blamed me because rejected our true mate causing we lost him forever.

Cedric becomes short temper and lash his anger for whomever happen to meet his wrath. Dad had warned me so many times for making our pack member engulfed in fear in Cedric presence. Furthermore, the length of his hatred not limited to anyone or ages exceptionally.

It's better than you have a rogue wolf – Cedric coldheartedly answer me when I questioned his attitude a long ago.

A sweet thing left inside himself disappeared the same day we found out the dead news. Everything had taken another round if I never rejected him. He'll alive beside me, support our pack and heart-warming the pups. When thinking back isn't hard to live as a homosexual because the world start to accept their kin as a normal person.

With the improvement in medical field, we can get our own heir anytime, anywhere. The child who had our own DNA. Why I'm so foolish to reject him without the second thought? I think everything was under my control but in the end, everything was blown up.

Cedric became distant from everyone, killing me in slow motion process. I loss counted for how many times he tried to killed Kayla in our bedroom. Kayla didn't know any of attempted because she in deep sleep.

I had seen many cases when the werewolf loss their other half, they will slowly walk in death path. The worst is they would through a rogue phase that can't be stopped by anyone because they start losing a rational as a human being. The enrage wolf would destroy everything in their path until they meet the end.

Sadly, I never take it in deep consideration because I have been living alone in those few years without any complication. The years before I had encountered him, knew him as my mate.

Fortunately, Rita and Patrick had help me a lot to throughout this wolf rebellious phase. Rita supplies me with pills that could contain my sanity in check, the almost same type of pill we usually given to those werewolves who lost their mate.

Patrick is my pack's doctor. He is two years below me and always keeps my dark secret from anyone else. He'll come up with a logical excuse whenever I fainted or bedridden without any valid causes. Yes, he also knew that my mystery sick was due my foolish action. The one and only person who knew about me have a real mate.

I also had forgotten when the last time I transformed. Cedric not in the mood to takeover my body or running around the wood. Truthfully, I scare I may lose Cedric one day because his health keeps decreasing. He rarely speaks, argue, or provoke me anymore. He silent makes me feel so lonely.

Kayla is also not in a good state nowadays. She is still nice to anyone like before we married, loved, and heart-warming. However, sometimes she would snapped without reason. The one that could calm her boiling blood is our son.

Ernest, as a future alpha, quiet understands the adult around him acting up. He is sweet son but despite that, the nasty rumor also blew in his way. I overheard that an omegas despise Ernest an arrogant attitude.

The child was just past his fifth birthday a week ago. He is my apple in heart, well accepted by the whole pack except an omega group, because his charm and an intelligent. My parents dote all their love on him endlessness. The missing pieces in my heart begin to assault more than ever whenever I think about my son.

The last medical checked up state Kayla was unable to continue her job properly due to heavy stress and deep depression. Everything was kept in secret. My weakest self and unimaginable pains were my biggest obstacle.

Terrance also notices deteriorate the health of mine, asked me what the real cause. I just brushed his question like nothing.

"Dad, are you okay?" Ernest is coming onto my lap. His eyes fix on mine directly.

"Yes, I'm okay, pup." I said.

"But you look paler." His slight worried.

"I'm just okay... maybe a lot okay after I take a bath. Wanna join me?"

"Eww, nope. Your water bath cold like an ice. " I laughed hearing his childish comment.

I scrutinized his face and small frame build. This pup having 85 percent a Beta aura and the rest is an alpha. Sometime, people have mistaken him as Terrance son. Their resemblance was quite a lot. I erase all the doubt from my mind.

Terrance is really faith to his mate. He will never commit any stupid infidelity, moreover with my possession. He never betrays anyone even the stranger. I sighed in frustrated because this was not the first time I doubt about my pup origin.

Cedric snarled inside my mind and show his despise for every thinking I had for my son. He warned me to fully given an attention to Ernest before I realize his blood tainted my finger. I shudder thinking how my wolf had gotten to turn as a cruel than his old bickering self.

This is sickness, we are the same and wasn't too, that's why it's quite shocking to learn his cruelty. Despite his bickering and an annoying self, was a very loving and caring wolf. He is only being true to his mate, loving him unconditionally.

I still remember the burning jealous sensation I felt while keeping inside as Cedric chummy with our mate. Moreover, our mate truly was charmed by Cedric than me. We were fully getting along when in the presence of our dead mate. I miss him, I miss my mate.

The thought I had earlier had proved me utterly wrong. The attraction I have for my mate not because the mate pull, it was a real feeling, a pure love between two hearts. Six months with him had melted my heart, totally fallen for someone who I always labelled as an ugly.

I miss him; totally miss him, missing the day we were together. Missing his laughter, insecure and warm heart. I feel empty right now, which cause me to have a frequently stupid argument with Kayla. She doubtful my faithful because my past flirting.

I had done all my best as a husband, as a father and as a son. At the same time, I'm so tired being a fake around them.

"Dad, are you okay? Your body really hot. You should go to bath now, daddy." Ernest sincerely cares about my health. I nod and he goes to join the pups outside.

I undress and totally naked, before soaking in cold freezing water. I lean on bathtub head, thinking how much I must shouldering this miserable life.

I want my mate... again. I want him... Please, I need him. - Cedric whimper jolts me from the half sleep.

Cedric, it's that you? Are you okay? – I ask him. It's miraculous to hear him start the conversation first.

Mmm.... I wanna him, wanna cuddle him. Wanna him in our sight. - Cedric's voice becomes weak.

I'm sorry, Cedric, It's all my fault. All happening because my stupidity. – I cooed him.

We are in love with him. I knew it truth because I'm apart of yourself, we are one. Despite all your denied, you're still jealous upon seeing him chummy with his housemate. That why I objected you from getting married with the cunt. I only wavered when the cunt bore our pup. - Cedric becomes messy sobbing.

His death brought me a realization that nothing could replace him in our heart. But it's fucking late to reversed and Kai words rubbed a salt over my wound. – My regret does me nothing. We couldn't bring the dead body.

Sorry, mate – Cedric drift into sleep again.

I get up from the bathtub once I feel the water temperature start rising up. It's quite a peace where Kayla back to her town. I sighed when spot the messy room filled with a dirty and clean laundry cover the white tiles.

After sharing a room and pillow, I became to know the Kayla without her mask. She is very lazy to do any chores or tidy the room. The perfect lady, she showed before just an acting. I sighed and collected all littering clothes on the floor.

I open the door after hearing a soft knock, one female an omega smile when the door open. She scans the messy room of mine. I let her inside whereas she starts to help me to tidy the room. Somehow, I feel so shame to let other invade my personal space.

"Sorry alpha, I'm late. The Luna had ordered me to tidy room yesterday, but I forgot to ask your permission and nobody here." The omega gives me a regret look.

"It's okay, Lydia."

I left her alone after that, walking through the wood, enjoying the green lush around me. The pain in my heart becomes heavy. I stumble right the riverside, breathing heavily while scraping around the chest.

Patrick... help... - I mind-link him

Where are you, Alpha? – He replied rashly.

Near the river. – My breath becomes more labor.

The growls make me snap to the left side. I spot two stinky red eyes wolves, staring intensely toward my direction. Shit! How they passed the border guard. I used all the strength I have to getting up and face them.

"What are you doing in my territory?" I snarled toward their direction.

"See what we had encountered... a weakling an Alpha in the brink of death." One of the rogues changes to human and provoke me. I take a cautious stand.

What happen Alpha? - Patrick panic inside the mind link.

Two rogues. - I give a short replied.

One of the rogues launches an attack when they saw me distract. Fuck! Cedric doesn't have enough power to transform. I fight them in human form. Gladly, I even practice it in training, but the pain in my chest had restrain my going full power.

It's really hard to keep with two rogues, before I just used twenty percent of my power to kill their kind, but now it was hard to even scraped their rotten flesh. The fatigue was catching my body than what I had expected. My white T-shirt covered with my own blood color.

The sharp teeth land on my back, my eyes start losing the focus. Before they ripped my throat, a timber color of wolf attacked them, behind it is another brownish wolf, join the force, and take out the two rogues easily. Both were transformed after that, Patrick and Terrance, run to my direction. Patrick gives me a first aid to stop the bleeding wound.

"We need to stop the bleeding." Patrick said.

Terrance transforms back to the wolf, Patrick ties me with Terrance back before they start running back to the pack's hospital. I faint halfway back.

"What's wrong with his body? I have noticed he hardly transforms recently. Patrick answers me." I groan when hears Terrance loud question. I open the eyes and spot two figures intimidating each other.

"Shut your loud mouth, Terrance." I shout. Both men snapped in my direction.

"What is wrong with you, bro? You change a lot since you got married. And, don't ever feed me with a lie excuse." Patrick pretends like is he knows nothing.

"Nothing wrong, bro. Just a fatigue had caught my body." I averted his intense staring.

"I know whenever you're lying, fucking Alpha." Terrance can't restrain his patience anymore.

"Okay, if I tell you please keep it as a secret until the end. I trust you, Terrance."

"I swear, Ivan." I sighed while he takes sit beside my bed.

"Thank you... How should I tell you, bro." I give him a weak chuckle before continuing, "You remember when Kai left after fought with me? That was because he knew I had done a stupid, whereas I needed to pay until now." I have given them a bitter smile.

"Geez, please straight forward, Ivan. I don't get it what you try to imply." He gives a confused look.

"I met my mate around five and half years ago, six months before my wedding day. But, in the end, I had chosen Kayla over him." I said sadly.

"What? You had a mate? Why make a rejection?" Terrance gives me an unbelievable look.

"My mate was a male."

"So, what if he was a male? That was not enough reason to reject him. We are not like your cousin's pack, Ivan. We have never cared if our Alpha has a male mate. We surely rejoice in your joy. I dunno that you place a little trust in us."

"Yeah, I already knew I had made a wrong moved. Trust me, I knew it. I rejected him because he was a male, a mere human and his ugly appearance." I shout him back.

"Even if he was a human, there must a valid reason why The Goddess pairs you with him. Ivan, I never know that you really stupid. Did Kayla know?" I shook my head.

"Man, this is so complicated. Have you made a proper rejection?" I nodded.

"If that is the case why you're suffering so much that sometimes I couldn't feel your wolf at all? You're an alpha, possess a great strength to avoid a further damaged but you're not. Today wasn't the first times you're defeated by rogues too. Why?"

"Because I had mated him." Both Patrick and Terrance gasped in shocked. I put a palm on my face.

"Did you mark him?" Terrance slows his tone.

"Nope and he never answer my rejection too."

"Fuck! Ivan we need to find your mate soon. Only he can reverse whatever situation you're in. This is only my hypothesis, but I think you mate had mated to someone else result, you too felt the pain whenever they make love."

"Nope, it can't happen. He dead was the same day I got married. My wedding anniversary is his death anniversary. This is my entire fault. If I never reject him, if I never follow my egos, he will stand by my side now." I couldn't restrain the tears anymore.

"Shit, you should tell me...." Terrance word stop when a door was open, revealed a small figure run in my direction.

"Daddy, why you're in a hospital?" Ernest snuggles to my left side.

"Because your father so careless when fought with rogues." Terrance offers an excuse.

"I swear I'll kill all the rogues when I take the alpha title." He shows a firm resolve.

"Small kid shouldn't talking about killing, baby boy." I pinched his bridge nose causes him to giggle.

"How come they invade our patrol team? And, pass the invisible patrol provide by higher council, I mean the force team from that famous organization." Terrance said.

We are known Kai had successful persuade the stubborn council to accept an illegal organization help. I dunno how he has done it, but because of that treaty, we had peace phase right now. I was absent the time he makes an urgent meeting for all alpha around the State. He even got help from the Germany powerful pack.

"Hi, Alpha Jr, why not we back now and let your father resting. I'll send you to your grandparent's house." Terrance persuades my baby boy. Ernest reluctant peels off from mine.

"Ours business not over yet." Terrance gives me a stern look before continuing; "And, we got an invitation to the Alphas meeting at your cousin's place." I nodded.

"You need to rest now, Alpha, if you want to attend the meeting with a top notch health. " Patrick tried to break a silence tension.

"We both know I'll never get the original strength back." I close the eyes to avoid watching his sympathized look. I don't need it. What I need is my munchkin back. As if to answer my prayers, that night I get to meet him in my dream, my beautiful Munchkin. I love you....

A/N

Thank for all the comments, votes and welcome to new followers. Sorry for another time leap and this was the last time it happens in this story. Thank you for read and support this story.

Good night or maybe I should said good morning.... hahaha